October 2017 Moms

Ask a STM+ (aka the Stupid Questions Thread)

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Re: Ask a STM+ (aka the Stupid Questions Thread)

  • yenrecyenrec member
    100 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    @ChocolateIsLife if it does happen to you, chances are you won't have any idea! Unless someone tells you it happened, which is unnecessary anyways. But when you feel that ring of fire, and know your precious angel is about to come into the world, all humility goes out the window. Your body was made for this, and if the baby's head, or your muscles, push out some poopy, it won't be here nor there when you see that sweet face!! Don't worry yourself!! :-)
    Colada584AiramH
  • kpintokpinto member
    100 Love Its 10 Comments Photogenic
    This is a really embarrassing question, but does it get easier?

    i feel like such an idiot complaining and being sad and feeling miserable (we've been trying since 2015 and it's all I've wanted...and we are SO excited) but I feel so miserable from my MS. I can't eat anything, I'm so tired, I'm catching every cold, and I feel like I'm just down in the dumps. Plus, I'm only about seven weeks and I haven't told ppl at work, so everyone keeps asking me if I'm ok because I "don't seem like myself." I'm hoping it's just my hormones (I'm usually the bubbly/upbeat one), but does anyone have advice?
  • kpinto said:
    This is a really embarrassing question, but does it get easier?

    i feel like such an idiot complaining and being sad and feeling miserable (we've been trying since 2015 and it's all I've wanted...and we are SO excited) but I feel so miserable from my MS. I can't eat anything, I'm so tired, I'm catching every cold, and I feel like I'm just down in the dumps. Plus, I'm only about seven weeks and I haven't told ppl at work, so everyone keeps asking me if I'm ok because I "don't seem like myself." I'm hoping it's just my hormones (I'm usually the bubbly/upbeat one), but does anyone have advice?
    Second trimester is easier, but in the third you just want the baby out. But second is the highlight you stop having all the crazy symptoms, you can tell people and they share in your excitement, and your baby bump is at the cute manageable stage. Third trimester everything hurts because baby takes up all the room and messes with your back and most people will be asked at least once why they haven't popped yet, if your having twins, etc etc. But then you have the baby and just seeing their face makes it all worth it.

    dogperson11ssmama34217
  • yenrecyenrec member
    100 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    @kpinto the first trimester usually sucks for every woman. Only the lucky make it out without many symptoms! PP is right, second trimester is usually really enjoyable, but those last few weeks definitely get hard. In my previous situation, it was not as hard as the first trimester, though. No puking, no nausea. Just mad heartburn and mad swelling. Ugh!! 
    But as for advice, just know that your yucky symptoms should taper off over the next month. We're all very happy and blessed to be expecting, but sometimes it's hard to focus on that when you're feeling so dumpy!! Just try to keep your head up. It only gets better. Promise
  • @kpinto I'm sorry after such a long wait for your miracle that you aren't enjoying the pregnancy as you hoped. Can you take a few days off work to recharge? If you're not able to eat anything literally, then you need to see a doctor and ensure you are hydrated enough. Getting prolonged colds is also very normal, try to remember that it's good for the baby because your immunity is letting the baby make a home in your ute rather than fighting the baby away. You can look forward to 2nd tri. It's the best!

    **June Siggy Challenge: You Had ONE Job!**

    LO#2 EDD October 18th 


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  • @Cythe, I didn't notice a change in my books until they started leaking randomly at 19 weeks!!! Freaked me out! I didn't buy new bras until my third trimester and that was more so because my rib cage had expanded. 

    @ChocolateIsLife, I asked if I had pooped on the table. And my nurse and doula just kind of smiled and said "it's being taken care of". The nurse subtly wiped it away. I knew it had happened. But seriously at that point you do not care!!

    @kpinto, it does get easier! Second trimester will be a lot better. Not immediately. But it does get better. And then by month 8 you will probably start to feel uncomfortable again, but in a different way. And then you just power through until delivery! And then it's alllllll worth it when you hold that beautiful baby in your arms!
    Cythe
  • shan24shan24 member
    Long-Lasting Membership 500 Love Its 500 Comments Photogenic
    @ChocolateIsLife I was also terrified of pooping on the table and I did. A lot. I was constipated going into labour and my OB asked if I wanted an enema to open up some space down there. I agreed, but because I had an epidural, the put me on a bedpan, and I couldn't go. Fast forward to the pushing stage and I pooped. And pooped and pooped some more. It was only me, SO and the nurse in the room and I kept apologizing until the nurse told me she loves seeing women poop while pushing because it tells her they're pushing the right way. Whether or not that's true, I don't know, but it made me feel better. 

    @kpinto it gets so much easier!  I mentioned on another thread that it doesn't seem fair that pregnant women feel so crappy during the time when most of us want to keep it secret!  
    VLillyVssmama34217
  • atlee712atlee712 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    @ChocolateIsLife just for some added reassurance. I did but didn't know it at the time. My DH decided it was something I should know so he told me. Honestly though, you get over that stuff and it's the last thing on your mind during the moment. But again, even if you do, you probably won't know.

    mrs_fogue
  • Would STM recommend joining a mother's club like MOMS (Moms offering Moms support) before or after having the baby? Or recommend even joining one at all?
    I absolutely loved my PEPS group (program for early parenting support).  It was all couples that were first time parents that had kids within 3 month or so of each other. We had a facilitator and different topics each week (feeding, sleeping, post partum depression/anxiety, relationship discussions, screen/tv time), did a homemade food exchange, had a girls night out and guys night out.  These people are great!
    TTC x 1.5 years.
    Acupuncture, Femera x3 cyles, and HSG.
    BFP in September 2014, DS born June 2015.
    TTC x2 months.
    BFP January 2017.


    BabyFruit Ticker
    BellaMikasaa
  • I feel like this is a superficial fear in perspective of things, but I am terrified of pooping during birth. Is it as common as they say it is, and how is it dealt with? I generally have the opposite of constipation, so I'm pretty scared that its going to literally be a shitstorm.  :# 
    Pooped here. My nurse didn't even let on it happened. My husband is the one that told me. Lol
    TTC x 1.5 years.
    Acupuncture, Femera x3 cyles, and HSG.
    BFP in September 2014, DS born June 2015.
    TTC x2 months.
    BFP January 2017.


    BabyFruit Ticker
  • emwj10187emwj10187 member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited March 9
    ok STM's.... at home fetal dopplers. Who has one, or has used one in the past & how the heck do you find the baby's heart beat? I am 9 weeks 5 days and haven't been able to find it yet. I've followed
    all the directions, right above the pubic bone, slow circular motions. No luck...

    We saw a strong heartbeat at my last appointment ( 7 weeks 3 days) so i know its in there somewhere. All i can find is my heart beat swooshing away.
    October 2017 June Siggy Challenge -- "You had one job" 





  • @ChocolateIsLife 3 years later I still have no idea if I pooped or not! I asked DH, he said no, but I have a feeling he's lying to spare me any embarrassment. 

    Also, to the extent it makes you feel better, a lot of women naturally clear out their system in the early stages of labor. I was super constipated for the last month of pregnancy, but the night before I had DD, after I started having some very inconsistent contractions, I was up ALL night pooping. This happened with my mom with both of her pregnancies, and I've heard this from other women too. So, there might not be anything left when it comes to delivery.
    October 2017 June Siggy Challenge -- "You Had One Job!" 
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  • I feel like this is a superficial fear in perspective of things, but I am terrified of pooping during birth. Is it as common as they say it is, and how is it dealt with? I generally have the opposite of constipation, so I'm pretty scared that its going to literally be a shitstorm.  :# 
    Apparently I did, but I can tell you with 100% certainty I had absolutely no idea until way later, when SO confirmed (after I asked him). The nurses/doctors/even SO gave absolutely no hint that anything was going on other than a baby. So don't let that worry you. It happens and the professionals in the room could not care less :wink:
    BFP#1: 12/3/13 EDD 8/15/13. Heartbeat found on 12/26/13, HB gone on 1/4/13. D&C 1/7/13
    BFP#2: 4/19/13 EDD 12/28/13. Team Green for pregnancy and Baby Girl arrived 12/21/13.
    BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @emwj10187, I don't have one. But I know @sjohns08 does and has had success with hers. Maybe she can weigh in on the Doppler. 9 weeks is still really early though to find it at home! So don't panic. My OB said they sometimes struggle in the office if it's before 12 weeks. 
    emwj10187
  • Thank you ladies so much for the helpful insight, it truly makes me feel better! I am hoping to be able to vbac (haven't had a c-section obviously but I had an abdominal myomectomy a few years ago). I'm meeting with my OB next Friday to see if its a possibility, and if it is, I will be sure to not stress the poop! Great idea to start this thread.
    Me: 31 DH:35
    TTC #1: March 2011 
    Fur-children: 3 dogs + 2 cats (all rescued)
    dx: Endometriosis and Fibroids 
    2 Laps and 1 Abdominal Myomectomy
    6 rounds of clomid
    5 rounds of iui
    IVF #1 Gonal F, Menopur and Cetrotide
    ER 12/1/2016:Retrieved 22 eggs 12 fertilized, developed moderate OHSS
    4/4 day 5 embryos were normal for PGS!!! 2 boys/2 girls
    FET 1/10/2017  
    Gallbladder surgery 1/10/2017
    FET 2/2
    BFP 2/7/17 <3 Beta#1: 594!!! Beta#2 1630!!!
    Having a girl! EDD 10/21/17
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  • I feel like this is a superficial fear in perspective of things, but I am terrified of pooping during birth. Is it as common as they say it is, and how is it dealt with? I generally have the opposite of constipation, so I'm pretty scared that its going to literally be a shitstorm.  :# 
    This didn't happen to me because Inhad an emergency c section  I can tell you is that when the time comes and you were in the hospital all sense of modesty or privacy is complete thrown out the window because you have no choice. You may have multiple people with their hands up your vagina, you will be asked about bowel movements 1 million times, you may Be on all fours pushing with your gown totally exposing you  but trust me, you won't care at all. The most important thing will be getting your baby out in the safest and most of it was way possible and both you and your husband will be completely focussed on that so none of the other stuff will matter. I have heard that if you do have a bowel movement most mothers don't even notice that it has happened because there's so much else going on down there and so much movement or pressure in other areas  that the nurses will just quickly clean it up and probably not even mention it to you. 
  • I have questions about pumping & breastfeeding. 
    1) Do you start pumping before baby is born to get a stock? Can you & should you? I guess it depends on if your milk is in. (or how ever that works!)

    2) How do you pick out a pump? I don't think they let you "try it out" and return it. What pumps do you recommend?
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • @mingram pumping can actually induce labor so it's advised not to pump early.  Plus all you have at that point is colostrum and not milk. 

    I got mine free through my insurance company.  They provided a few choices.  You can also try out and even rent from your hospital. 

    dajoclCythemommac2017nhoover88
  • shan24shan24 member
    Long-Lasting Membership 500 Love Its 500 Comments Photogenic
    mrs_fogue said:

    ChocolateIsLife you're more likely to poop then not to.  Its just natural from the pushing.  What's mortifying is your DH telling your entire family that you pooped. 

    ForwardnBackward breastfeeding topic, I highly suggest NOT going into this thinking you are only going to BF.  Remember that Fed is Best.  I tried everything to be able to successfully BF and it just wasn't in our cards.  It threw me into a world of PPD and PPA because in my eyes I had failed.  It wasn't until I really let go and embraced FFing that I enjoyed my baby.

    I completely agree with this!  I was determined to breastfeed and just couldn't. And I won't be able to exclusively bf this one. It was a long, hard realization that *I* didn't fail and that DS and I could still bond and he could still thrive on formula. Breast is best is a great initiative, but it has the unintended consequences of making moms who can't (or don't) feel like absolute shit. 
    mrs_foguessmama34217carries2018Smartin90
  • emwj10187 said:
    ok STM's.... at home fetal dopplers. Who has one, or has used one in the past & how the heck do you find the baby's heart beat? I am 9 weeks 5 days and haven't been able to find it yet. I've followed
    all the directions, right above the pubic bone, slow circular motions. No luck...

    We saw a strong heartbeat at my last appointment ( 7 weeks 3 days) so i know its in there somewhere. All i can find is my heart beat swooshing away.
    Have you watched any YouTube videos? Following along with some of the girls on there who were the same week as I was and using the same Doppler helped. But I'm not sure I heard it at 9 weeks.

    *O17 June Siggy Challenge - You had 1 job!*
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  • shan24 not to highjack the FTM thread, but I'm curious what your plan of attack is going to be this round?  I really want to try again but get help sooner and use some of the tricks I learned a little later on much sooner.  I'm also very excited that we have a lactation councilor here in town.  With my first the closest consultant was over an hour away and it wasn't very practical to see her regularly. I'm also debating on if I want to try to pump more?  When I went back to work and tired pumping was really when my supply tanked.  I couldn't get it to recover on the weekends. 
  • migdalamigdala member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    This is probably a stupid question but my nipples can't possibly stay this sore throughout the pregnancy, right?  Won't it be excruciating to BF?  I accidentally grazed one with a towel drying off this morning and it was agony... I can't imagine nursing with them feeling like this.
    Smartin90tiff22ie
  • yenrecyenrec member
    100 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    @migdala if you're able to BF, it will likely be very painful at first. That why you'll need to use nipple cream as much as possible. My nipples cracked and bled and had black scabs until my body got used to it. Boy oh boy it hurt, but it's just a part of the routine you'll go through at first with BFing. It definitely goes away though that's for sure! 
    migdaladogperson11yasandson
  • On the breastfeeding topic:

    with DD1 it was a struggle. I mean like she was super colicky ( we have a video of dh standing and holding her and she's calm, he sat, she screams, he stands, she stops, he sat, she screams , he stands, she stops lol)and BFing was tough. But we somehow made it to 1 year but supplemented with formula occasionally when she was in fussy modes because she needed to gain weight. Not my perfect idea of how I wanted it to go, but we made it. 

    With DD 2 , she was a champ right off the bat. I didn't have issues with her at all. My problem with her was she hated every single bottle on the market. She hated all pacifiers. That was tough because I pumped specifically so I can have a break and have DH do some feedings. But alas, she had other plans. 

    You just never ever know what each baby will do. Do not have any expectations what so ever , but at the same time, never give up! 

    Pregnancy Ticker
    Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"

    yasandson
  • nmingram said:
    I have questions about pumping & breastfeeding. 
    1) Do you start pumping before baby is born to get a stock? Can you & should you? I guess it depends on if your milk is in. (or how ever that works!)

    2) How do you pick out a pump? I don't think they let you "try it out" and return it. What pumps do you recommend?
    1. No you won't have any milk to pump before babybcome. Milk comes in a few days after babybis born. Trust me, you'll know when it comes in! The first few days it's just colostrum that the baby needs, it's thick and yellow and mega healthy. You may not need tonpumpnatball if you have a lot of milk and baby latches on so wait and see.

    2. I used the Medela and rented it from the hospital. I was told by many other moms that it's the best one out there and not even bother with a manual pump's, go electric all the way. If you do have to pump it is extremely time-consuming so I think a manual pump would be very frustrating .
    nhoover88
  • shan24shan24 member
    Long-Lasting Membership 500 Love Its 500 Comments Photogenic
    @mrs_fogue I have insufficient glandular tissue. You know those "rare" medical reasons women can't breastfeed? *Raises hand*. That's me. It was discovered 4 days pp with my son. They put me on domperidone and I was taking fenugreek and blessed thistle. They put me on a crazy pumping schedule that gave me, at most, a 20-30 minute window to sleep between feedings.  The best I ever got pumping was 3 oz total and that was after sleeping through a session, so it really counted as two. After 6 weeks, I gave up and fully formula fed. 

    This time, I want to try a supplemental nursing system. I'm ok with taking the supplements and all that but I have zero interest in pumping again. My next appointment in in April and I plan on asking to speak to a lactation consultant early to figure out a game plan.  I think the difference this time is that I'm ok if things don't work out and I have to ff. I didn't have ppd, but my doc did think that I had situational depression and I'm pretty convinced that was part of it. 
    mrs_foguemigdaladogperson11
  • @nmingram, do not pump before baby comes!!! It is a very common way of inducing labour and NOT recommended. Also, there are places that you can rent breast pumps from (I know you can do it at Shoppers Drug Mart here, not sure everywhere). I wished I had known this. I bought a Phillips Avent pump and it did NOT work for me. I thought I wouldn't be able to breastfeed. Bought a Medela Pump in Style, and had NO issues with getting milk! I highly recommend this brand. Everyone I've spoken to had a positive experience with it.
    nhoover88yasandson
  • @migdala, a lot of women feel a lot of discomfort in their nipples during the early stages of breastfeeding. I second what others have said about using lanolin cream after feeds to help. I also found it extremely beneficial to "air out" my breasts. Walk around without a bra on (for as long as you can before you start leaking). I found this most helpful. Breastfeeding is not easy, but if you are able to push through the early stages, it gets SO much easier. Try to go in with the expectation that it is going to be hard. I went in thinking it was going to be super easy, and set myself up for a lot of tears and frustration. This time, I know that it might be challenging at first, but if I can get through those first few weeks/months, it will get better!
    migdaladogperson11Uhlease13yasandson
  • Not a ftm but I dont remember when I started buying things during my first pregnancy.  So my question is, is it too early to start buying baby gear? Sorry if someone already asked this question!
  • Oooh I thought of one!

    STMs+, did you labor at home vs. going to the hospital right away (once your water broke or you otherwise realized you were in labor)? If you labored at home for a while, at what point did you decide it was time to go to the hospital (or birthing center or whatever)?
    Cythe
  • @beautyundefined, I think it's really up to you. I definitely didn't start making purchases until second trimester. And then we watched the sales like crazy to get the best deals we could. By the time I started third trimester, we had our nursery furniture and the car seat. Those were my priorities. 

    @soprano19, I started having contractions at 6am and laboured at home until 2:30pm. At that point my contractions were 2 minutes apart and my doula suggested that we head to the hospital. Unfortunately my son was in a horrible position so my labour was very long. I didn't end up delivering him until 11:40am. So I was at the hospital for 21 hours. But I don't regret it. I really appreciated utilizing the tub there. And got my epidural at 10:30pm and was able to rest during the night because of it. 
    beautyundefinedyasandson
  • @soprano19 my water broke at 3am. I went back to bed because my contractions hadn't started. They started about 30 minutes later and I called the nurse's line at 7am. I wanted to attempt med free so I wanted to wait as long as possible. 

    I think generally they want to see you sooner if your water broke. She acted a little taken aback that I had waited so long to call.
    October 2017 June Siggy Challenge -- "You Had One Job!"                                                       
     
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  • @beautyundefined I say go for it! I think your only mistake could be buying gender specific items before knowing the sex of your baby. I think there was a thread about people building stockpiles of nappies and wipes already. Financially it could be a wise move to spread the spendings! For me personally, I want to avoid storing too many things and forgetting what I have.

    **June Siggy Challenge: You Had ONE Job!**

    LO#2 EDD October 18th 


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  • I have a stupid question: when will I actually start to feel pregnant, as in like there is an actual being growing inside of me.  Other than fatigue and mild cramping, I don't have any obvious symptoms.  My boobs are a little bigger and a little sorer but nothing crazy.  I've had no MS.  It's killing me not getting any reassurance!  My last u/s was last week at 8w2d and everything was great with h/b, etc.  Today I am 9w3d.  I have another 2 weeks till my nuchal scan and its killing me!  I'm trying to think of excuses to go get another scan somewhere! 
    WRWrunnergirlyasandson
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