Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Subchorionic Hemorrhage (SCH) Support
I guess the reason I'm so confused is that they told me just 10 days ago that there was no sign of anything. Then I had just a tiny bit of spotting and they brought me in for another ultrasound and now it's back and bigger? I was so relieved last week and now I wish I never went in today!
So you don't think the screaming/yelling/crying would cause it to come back?
Married: November 2015
I'm going to echo @yanchuss - I've said this before to others and the advice stands. It has been an enormous comfort to me to count down to viability, rather than term. Technically, viability is even still in the second trimester, so we are so close! And the bigger baby gets, the better your chances are. As the other ladies said as well, or babies are measured in inches at this point, and centimeters are much smaller, so you are in good shape on that front, too!
Lastly, no, I don't think that your stress in any way caused this. There is SO much in pregnancy that we don't understand yet and, as frustrating as it is to hear, there are some things we do not have control over. I'm a control freak, so I completely understand how infuriated and helpless that makes us feel, but you're only making yourself more worried by thinking that you did this to yourself. You did NOT.
Also, as confusing as it is to have them see one thing one week and then nothing the next, I would maybe reach out to @ebennett1007. She had one hemorrhage clear up only to have another show up later. She may be able to offer some comfort and insight in that regard.
Know that we're all pulling for you, stay far away from Dr. Google, don't be afraid to ask your doctor questions (seriously, their whole job is to answer them and to clarify if you don't understand), and we are all here if you need to vent, talk, or ask for advice. Keep your head up!
William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
Two doctors I've spoken to believe it must be the same one that got too small to detect easily and then just grew again because it's in the exact same place. I guess that makes sense because I would think it would be highly unlikely to get two in the exact same place. When I had asked the ultrasound tech last Monday, I only said I had had one and she said she didn't see anything. She didn't know where it was originally or where to look, so I'm wondering if at that point it was too tiny too see because even now, my doctor described it as a small "sliver".
My doctor also said that it was only a little bit near the bottom edge of the placenta and was closer to my cervix. Does anyone know if position of the SCH makes any difference regarding threat to the baby?
She said she was also surprised that I didn't have any bleeding considering its proximity to my cervix. She said this was a good sign and probably meant it was old, not active bleeding and that I may never bleed. If i don't bleed, does that mean it won't get smaller or will it just re absorb? I'm not sure if bleeding is a good or bad sign with SCHs or if it means nothing either way. Last time my SCH shrunk with no bleeding, but then bled a few days after it shrunk. So unpredictable!
They are letting me come in tomorrow afternoon for another ultrasound to give me peace of mind. I hope that it at least shows that it hasn't gotten bigger or has shrunk even 1 millimeter!
My doctor wasn't entirely clear, and I'll ask more questions tomorrow, but in the meantime...does anyone know how a SCH would cause a pregnancy loss this late (16 weeks)? Does it have to be pretty big? I guess I just am looking for some peace of mind that I have some time before I'd have to start worrying?
Married: November 2015
Married: November 2015
Keep us posted.
Married: November 2015
I had a slightly fuller bladder today than I did when I went on Wednesday. Does anyone think that could've made a difference in what they were able to see? (they never asked me to empty it and my SCH was apparently near the cervix, so I don't know if bladder fullness would even make a difference)
Married: November 2015
At 12 weeks, I had a gush of red blood. Ultrasound found nothing and I hadn't no further bleeding. Until the next week when I suddenly had another gush and several hours of trickling. Ultrasound found a SCH, but they were encouraged because it was nowhere near the placenta. Fast forward, not a bit of bleeding in the last two weeks. I went to an MFM yesterday (for other reasons) and they were shocked that I wasn't bleeding. I have a SCH that measures about 6x4x5cm. It's right against both my cervix and the placenta. I'm on pelvic rest and decreased activity. I'm sitting as much as possible at work and at home.
This is my second experience with a SCH. I had one in a pregnancy that I lost last year at 9 weeks. It likely had nothing to do with the hematoma, but I can't help but worry. The MFM says this can cause the membranes to weaken and rupture prematurely. Anyone know how common that happens?
M/C #2 - October 2016
MMC #1 - April 2016
I woke up this morning with another gush of bright red blood and have had 5 more gushes since then. I don't really have cramping but I've looked at all the times I've been to emerg and it's almost every 2 weeks do the day. At this point I think it's just routine? I don't know if I should bother going back or just ride it out? It's less than I've bled in the past and usually they just give me an abdominal ultrasound with no info on the hemmorage and send me home 7 hours later.
..so I'm on full bed rest until at least 20 weeks. If the hemorrhage isn't gone by 20 weeks we'll have to look at other long term options.
The emerg dr said this still shouldn't cause any major concers/increase my risk of a miscarriage, but obviously the more I bleed and the bigger the hemorrhage gets, the worse it is. Honestly I'm expecting to me on bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy. It seems every time I'm on my feet for more than 5-10 min at a time, I bleed.
My husband and I are celebrating our 1 year wedding anniversary on Monday so I'm surprising him and my step-daughter with a 3d ultrasound gender scan. Aside from that I'll be taking it easy and counting down the days to the 24 week mark.
Hope you're all doing better!
After my A/S today, my OB said that either my SCH is gone, or it's small enough that the technician didn't see it or didn't make a note of it. Either way, I can put it out of my mind.
someone somewhere on my AS screwed up because the formal report said my SCH is only 2cm by 2cm (whoop whoop!) after they told me it was still 5x4. Still sitting on my cervix so I will drop it out at some point but, a lot of it broke up and the old blood is floating in my fluid (we could see it as "debris" on the scan...so gross).
@yanchuss, you are often on my mind. How are you and that sweet boy holding up?
William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
@dancegurl1118 @GreenBean glad to hear you're doing better!
I am sorry to hear that but this is an older thread and I am not sure how active most of these ladies are already since we already had our babies almost a year ago. I would suggest posting this in your BMB where you're more than likely going to get more responses. Best of luck though and sending positive vibes your way
Married: 06-2024
TTC #1: Since November 2015
Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016
due to previous issues.
***TW***
BFP: 11/4/2016
BFP: 07/17/2024