Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
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Re: September Randoms
Are any of you having the same emotions regarding going to work?
@DachshundMomma I'm totally a wreck about going back to work this week. My plan is to work 3 10-hour days and 2 5-hour days, and I'm already freaking out about it. I keep telling myself to calm down and give it a shot. I'd say if you have DH's blessing, stay home!
I miss the snark too, not that I ever really got involved in it much but it was great entertainment to read when I was in bed!
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DS#1 July 2016
Baby #2 July 2018
July16 JULY siggy challenge
edited to add smiley faces. Hahaha
@arhodes6 Same for us. We moved him to his own room at 4 weeks. DH sleeps much better now... I really just didn't want to risk him being so tired that he falls asleep on his commute to work. That's a real possibility.
Here is her schedule at 9 weeks. I built this based on tracking her habits and the help of my sister in law. E can only stay up an hour and then she sleeps for an hour and a half.
question @shaylalr: I try to eat/play/sleep but it usually ends up being eat/play/eat/sleep as she's up until she's hungry again and then falls asleep feeding. Any tips for putting her down after playtime or does your LO fall asleep on their own?
Agree @LDSJM123, I can't handle the rejection, but maybe people are taking themselves less seriously now that we're all covered in poop and spit up 24/7
@shaylar16 @mnkenned I have the same question! I've been trying really hard for a schedule to for our 8 wo but putting him down for a nap seems impossible. I can't ever "get" him to nap unless he falls asleep on his own. Case in point.. He woke at 7, DH played with him and tried to get him to nap at 8. It's 9:30 and he's crying in his crib. Tried everything... pacifier, in his crib, rocking (which I know is anti-babywise haha) -- but no good. Would love any tips you have.
As soon as she hit 6 weeks, I stopped holding her while she slept
It's work in progress over here. And we are nowhere near laying her down and her putting herself to sleep.
Edit: more detail.
If anyone uses the wonder weeks app, do you base the date on your actual due date or when you little one actually arrived!?
@mnkenned
My little guy has a bit of a bedtime. We try to start bedtime at 7:30 or 8 which is diaper change, pj's, then nurse in our bedroom in the dark until he's sleepy and put him down in the pack and play by our bed. It takes about 30-45 mins usually. He sleeps until 430-530, nurses, then back to sleep until 6-7. Then he's pretty much up. He sleeps great at night but the tradeoff is he pretty much refuses to nap during the day unless it's 15 mins on me when he falls asleep nursing. So he gets crankier and fussier as the day goes on.
I am envious of you mamas who have babies sleeping on schedules/in their cribs/through the night already. C is 9 weeks old today & I'm having such a hard time figuring this out! I work until 8:30pm most days so by the time I get home and pick him up from my parents, let my dogs out, get us both ready for bed, etc. it's usually 10-10:30. He eats and sometimes he goes right down, while other times he fights sleep and we're both exhausted and awake until 1am. Some nights he lets me get in a solid 5hr stretch of sleep and doesn't wake to eat until about 3:30, then passes right back out, and other nights we're up for feedings every 2 hrs.
I don't even know how to go about trying to transition him to his crib. Anytime I've tried to put him down in it, even for just a nap, he always wakes himself up within 10 minutes. He's not a baby who will CIO either...he just keeps wailing. I let him go for a half hour once and it broke my heart to see all those tears when I finally went in and picked him up.
Working Moms- on my last bmb we had a thread for working moms (I believe it was weekly). We supported each other and shared tips and tricks about routine, childcare, pumping at work, and all that comes along with it. Is that something you guys would be interested in? It really helped me to deal with the intense emotions.
@Lindsayleigh1989 how did you transition to the crib? The princess is 5 weeks tomorrow and hasn't slept more than 10 minutes in hers.
@shaylalr (and anyone else) what kind of "play" do you do? I feel like I'm being ridiculous/boring when she's awake
My random - there's a girl I'm friends with on FB who is pregnant and talks about it literally everyday. Usually about how great her pregnancy is and it's everything she could have ever imagined. I get that it's exciting, I'm happy for you, really. But for the love of god just shut up.
And I'm with @Kellyj103 - it's hard keeping up with everything now!
also I think a lot of the fb group admins don't come on here anymore. If you never heard back, they probably haven't seen your message. They usually respond back.
@brandiK I have a fb friend like that!!!! You'd think she's the first and only person to ever get pregnant. I had to block her because it was too much.
July16 JULY siggy challenge