@AnnaS930 Sounds like I may have to add GIRLS to my watch list.
Does anyone know the research behind pregnancy dreams and their weird factor? I am clearly unmotivated at work at the moment so I may need to do research on this if no one has.
Married: 3/21/15 First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
I did not reach down and touch DD's head when I was in labor. The idea wasn't presented to me but even if it had been, I wouldn't have. Like others, I just wanted her OUT. And we didn't know she was a "she" so I wanted to know that, and see what she looked like, and hold her, and have that intense pressure be over. So many things I wanted - touching her head never crossed my mind, haha.
That being said, I did use a mirror when I was pushing DD. My OB suggested it and at first I didn't want one - I just had no interest in seeing what was going on down there! But after another couple of pushes, she mentioned that being able to "see" how productive my pushes were might help me - not only push more effectively but also in terms of motivation. At that point, I just wanted her out (and was terrified of being labeled a "bad pusher" and having my epidural tapered off) so I went for it - and was glad I did, it really helped a lot!
---QBF---
i did NOT want a mirror when pushing. So much nope. We knew he was a boy and I was so over labor at that point. Three sets of pushes and he was out!
@AnnaS930- I posted in the WTF Wednesday last week about something similar. I had a dream last week that an ex was the father of my son and was meeting him for the first time. He even said that my son looks like him. Hell no! That dream was very disturbing.
For me, the weird dreams are not pregnancy related. I can get them all anytime. The most sexual, heated dreams are almost always with someone that isn't my husband. Occasionally it will be some long ago acquaintance that I was never close to. Some mornings I wake up and feel like I cheated on my husband.
I think if I am able to have a vaginal birth I wouldn't want to touch baby's head. I don't think touching it would make me more motivated. I don't know that I would mind the mirror, I might want it and then start screaming 'take that ish away from my bits!' When things get real. I will tell my doctor that I do want to 'pull' baby out of me at the end stage and we'll just see where that ends up.
@AnnaS930- I posted in the WTF Wednesday last week about something similar. I had a dream last week that an ex was the father of my son and was meeting him for the first time. He even said that my son looks like him. Hell no! That dream was very disturbing.
For me, the weird dreams are not pregnancy related. I can get them all anytime. The most sexual, heated dreams are almost always with someone that isn't my husband. Occasionally it will be some long ago acquaintance that I was never close to. Some mornings I wake up and feel like I cheated on my husband.
^^ Exactly this. Also, when not pregnant sometimes I wake from dreams feeling kind of weird/oogy but can't quite remember the dream to know what happened or why I feel weird about it. I think the dreams are the same in pregnancy, just really vivid/I'm able to remember them fully. Really Really strange stuff.
I even have some dreams that I wake from and think "I must be some sort of freak to be thinking these situations up.. and finding pleasure in them" but what can we do? Can't beat ourselves up over dreams, right?
@JennM205 I wanted nothing to do with the mirror my first pregnancy. The idea seemed horrifying, and I was convinced it would set me back. I'm considering using it this time, but I recall having my eyes squeezed shut during every push. The OB even told me to keep them open right before the final push because, I assume, she knew DD was coming and thought I'd like to see her as soon as they put her on me. I tried to keep them open for about 2 counts then was like, screw this, and closed them again. So while I'd like to try and see this time, it very well won't work out that I can/do.
I would not have wanted to touch her head before she came out, and wasn't even offered.
Regarding dreams, I don't remember mine being this vivid last time. Even the mundane ones are practically real. Over the weekend, I dreamt we were taking a weekend trip to Florida, and I was packing all our bags. I added every little thing you would actually take on a trip in our bags! Down to socks and underwear and counting out enough outfits for DD. I woke up annoyed because I hate packing.
Only one sex dream left me feeling like I cheated on DH because how real and good it was. And the fact, in the dream, I knew I was cheating on him. The dream wasn't about an ex, but a guy I can't stand in real life, so that made it all the worse.
I think I would pass out if someone put a mirror down there! I can't stay the sight of my own blood. I used to faint everytime I had a post op and my plastic surgeon would show me my scars
Speaking of mirrors.. how long did you all wait until you took a look down there post-partum? I think I waited a week until I put a mirror down to see my stitch and assess the damage. My previous BMB had put the fear in me that I wouldn't recognize the carnage as myself.. it wasn't as terrible as I had predicted.
I've always lots of dreams and remembered 2-3 a night but being pregnant has made them incredibly vivid. As far as sex dreams go, I'm glad they've always been about DH (and great ones too) but I have had regular dreams about exes and they put me on edge. There are also many many things IRL that I honestly can't remember if they actually happened or if I dreamt them. I'll say something to DH and he'll be like, that never happened, and I'll think back and realize it was a dream. This happens to me at least once a day and it ain't fun!
@AnnaS930 I don't want to let myself look for a good few weeks. It sounds like something I never want to witness. I'm so carefee about things like that (blood, guts, etc) that maybe I'll end up looking though.
The question about when did you first look "down there" after giving birth reminds me of the first episode of Life in Pieces. Has anyone seen it? Hilarious.
I would probably look right away. But I have had a lot of surgery and have seen some pretty gross stuff so I am hopeful that I can handle it. I am just sure my curiosity will get the best of me.
Married: 3/21/15 First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
I'm also pretty comfortable with watching medical procedures, etc. The swelling/pain I felt while wiping (aka squirting and dabbing) is what kept me from looking right away, I think I was worried something was wrong and I didn't want to see it and confirm my fears. But as I've said, the overall recovery wasn't as bad as I expected
@AnnaS930 Ha! Yeah, I didn't look until everything was healed. I also didn't do any direct touching of the damaged bits for about 3 weeks. Even in the shower, I dabbed with a soapy washcloth.
That said, I really, really did have an easier recovery than I had anticipated. I'm not just remembering it that way; it was that way at the time as well. Not much pain or bleeding, and I was up and about fairly quickly. And things totally look the same now. And not that anyone asked and maybe TMI, but DH says things feel the same.
I have to admit the idea of feeling my babys head while their body is still inside of me totally made me do a full-body shake at my desk. For me that's a whole-lotta nope!!! That also goes for a mirror down there during the process and one checking out the 'carnage' (love the description) after the fact. I may take a look when the 6-8 weeks are up and we're no longer restricted sexually, but that's more so I know my DH doesn't get traumatized from seeing what happened down there, than for me.
As to dreams - has anyone had one where they started batting for the same team? I did this past weekend and it was weird! I woke up and mentioned it to DH and he was all 'Yea? Details!' and really, all I could say was that 'I was just not into it.' Lol. It was so strange. It was an intense dream but even in the intense dream I just couldn't get into it, and trust me I was trying. That so far takes the cake even above the ex-bf dreams.
@AnnaS930 I didn't use a mirror to look down there after the fact. I trusted that the stitches from my episiotomy were there and the anal fissures I had exploding out off my ass were also no joke and highly present.
I recommend getting a removable shower head as this was a life saver during postpartum. Soaking in the tub seemed really unsanitary to me for some reason (although this is what my OB recommended).
@laker2014 I felt like a virgin again after the first time DH and I DTD after 6wks postpartum. There is such a thing as a "love stitch" where it can make you a bit tighter so it's not like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
I remember thinking after I had DS "how will I ever be able to hold in a tampon again?" Vajays work in mysterious ways!
@LakeR2014- Yes I have had lesbian dreams. I have also had dreams where I am in an orgy. I once even had a dream where I was a man having sex with a woman. All the dreams are very erotic and in the dream I am very much enjoying myself. I tend to feel odd when I wake up with those dreams. There is such a disconnect because I would never consider doing that stuff in real life but in the dreams I am enjoying myself so much.
Let's give it up for the elasti-vags that go back after giving birth! Woop Woop! First time post-partum that you're ready for it again, all i can say is LUBE IS YOUR FRIEND.
I'm also dying at the "Throwing a hot dog down a hallway" image, that one always makes me smile.
Lesbian dreams, Check. Threesome/orgy dreams, Check. Much wilder things than this that make me blush that my mind even came up with them in the first place, Check. But I still woke up in a panting/sweating mess of joy, Check Check. I'm telling you.. if HBO needs any new writers for their kinky/wacked out scenes they come up with, I'm applying
I never looked down there. Not until months after the fact. I didn't even look at my c-section scar until 3 or 4 weeks post-partum. You're supposed to check it to make sure it looks okay. I made DH do that. I didn't look at all.
@blondie080300 I had the same issue. I have this beautiful pink and gray lacy dress I bought a couple of months ago that was loose in the bust. I wore it Easter morning and the bust was tight- not unbearably but it was absolutely tight. I threw a cardigan over it and wore it at least to church with my grandma and mother so I looked nice. I had people all cooing over my being pregnant but looking great- meanwhile I felt like a freaking whale, stupid pantyhose all tight and my underwear not fitting right, chest just screaming for air. When I got to my mom's I changed right into my maternity leggings and a loose pink shirt. The struggle is definitely real- where is this bump already? I can feel it under a layer of bloat and blubber but it needs to come out now so I stop looking like I gained 10 pounds instead of getting knocked up! I'm dying to see what you decide- finding out or not! Oh, and I've had some seriously steamy ex sex dreams too. Gets you going for the whole day, right? *sigh*
@runningisrad I have been rubbing and touching my belly constantly. Sometimes I don't realize I'm doing it. I am definitely not full fledged bump yet, but I too want the universe to know I did not just overeat (I mean, okay, I did overeat on Easter... but still...), it's because I'm growing life dang it!
@Annamcc12 I am the same! I HAD to have butternut squash soup for lunch today, and if I had it my way I would roast a sugar pumpkin and just eat the insides with a dash of salt. SO GOOD!
@jhems776 I have the same thing going on with my BFF from when we were 8 years old. She has faded out over the last year, which was heartbreaking because we've been friends so long. I was hoping she would respond to my message to her about not being able to fly across the country for her wedding last year because DH had a sudden heart attack at 35 years old (despite being healthy mostly), in which I also apologized profusely, and she never responded. No response to my FB announcement either. Hoping she comes around like yours did!
Haha ok, I haven't been keeping up with this thread but the other stuff seemed boring today so I decided to take a peek.. Holy Cow you ladies are cracking me up!! The whole mirror and or touching down there was a big HELL TO THE NO for me. I basically was just pretending this wasn't really happening to me and I would magically have a baby in a few minutes. I didn't need anything to make it feel "more real".
As for the post delivery carnage.. I knew I had some stitches down there, but they never exactly told me how many and I wasn't too keen to know. It took me WEEKS before I could even think of sneaking a peek. When I did it all just looked so weird to me... I swore that things got sewn together that weren't supposed to be haha everything definitely worked the same in the end, but I wouldn't say sex has been the same for me. Hopefully things don't get even more jacked up this time around!
My midwife practically made me touch DS1 head when I was pushing. I told her "no!" And she asked at least once more maybe even twice so I did it just to shut her up and there was about a quarter size of his head I could feel. I just about started crying and gave up then and there. I had already been pushing for well over and hour!! And that was my progress!?! It was so depressing. Turns out he was sunny side up which is why it took so long. I still don't know how no one knew that until his head was fully out?! I've heard of them trying to rotate the baby as you are in full labor for sunny side up babies. I'm so glad they didn't do that. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise no one knew.
Married 6-1-13 Sebastian 3-11-14 Simon 5-2-15 Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
I could not look in the mirror and while I was not offered to touch the head, there is no way in hell that I would. I'm better off not knowing some things.
My best friend, who just gave birth to her third, pulled this last baby out of herself a la Kourtney Kardashian. The doctor asked if she wanted to. I just can't...I would be so afraid of dropping the baby and all that messy birth stuff (real mature, I know)...I can't.
@mom2adoodle Oh it's real... oddly enough, I've only ever been asked once - during the birth of my first. Haven't been asked since, but for the other two, I only pushed a few times and they were out so maybe that's why.
RE: dreams. I had a dream that my husband was having an affair with a man.. who happened to be the priest on Vikings. I felt so weird the next morning.
I also have never felt the desire to look down below and assess the scene. Not for me.
Wife to A; Mama to C (2009), N (2011), H (2014) & baby F due 09/16/16
Did some serious baby shopping online today. Bought the cribs, dresser, glider, ottoman and a their take-home outfits (black and white striped kimono gowns with seafoam colored trim/ties).
Already bought a diaper bag, a handful of other clothes, crib sheets, crib dust ruffles and a changing pad cover. Still a lot to go, though.
Normally, I'm not into the matching twin outfits thing, but the little gowns are so cute that I couldn't resist doing it just once when they come home from the hospital. They're going to look like little prisoners escaping in their black and white stripes. Mommy's little jailbirds.
You go @RedMar! I definitely laid a cool $150 down there shopping for Easter Brunch....I may have gotten distracted and a few other 'necessary' items fell in my cart.
Oooooh @MojieJo do post a picture! Those outfits sound adorable. It might be cute to have their initials monogrammed on them for the ultimate keepsake. I use my baby's going home outfits for their shadow box later on to mount on the wall.
Wife to A; Mama to C (2009), N (2011), H (2014) & baby F due 09/16/16
@Themaritimemama Here's the seller's picture. I bought them on Etsy. They're a bamboo jersey, so should be nice and soft.
I figured the kimono style gown would be easy to get them into and out of and be good for diaper changes. I was originally going to go with a two-piece set (onesie and pants), but I'm a big fan of stripes for some reason and I loved the contrast and color combo on these.
I may get their initials monogrammed on them after they've outgrown them. I plan on keeping them as keepsakes in some form or another.
@MojieJo adorable!!! Can't wait to see the little babes in them!!
Did you plan on taking them home in those? They may be tough to get around a car seat buckle . Also my hospital is really strict as far as what the babies can wear. They want them only in their (horrendous) outfits for security purposes along with the ankle locks- Which makes the babes look even more like prisoners.
Hmm, I hadn't considered that (FTM here, so I'm learning as I go). If it comes down to it, those can be their first full day at home outfits. Not the end of the world.
@RedMar that stinks you can't dress the babies in what you want! That was kinda of how I passed the time at the hospital, dressing him up in a couple things. However, I didn't even know it was an option with my first so she just wore the hospital t-shirt until it was time to go home.
@MojieJo the gowns will be good vs a pant. Sometimes the pants rub more on the ambilical cord stump. Although they may be almost impossible with car seats.
Married 6-1-13 Sebastian 3-11-14 Simon 5-2-15 Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
Re: Randoms Thread: March Edition!
Does anyone know the research behind pregnancy dreams and their weird factor? I am clearly unmotivated at work at the moment so I may need to do research on this if no one has.
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
For me, the weird dreams are not pregnancy related. I can get them all anytime. The most sexual, heated dreams are almost always with someone that isn't my husband. Occasionally it will be some long ago acquaintance that I was never close to. Some mornings I wake up and feel like I cheated on my husband.
I even have some dreams that I wake from and think "I must be some sort of freak to be thinking these situations up.. and finding pleasure in them" but what can we do? Can't beat ourselves up over dreams, right?
I would not have wanted to touch her head before she came out, and wasn't even offered.
Only one sex dream left me feeling like I cheated on DH because how real and good it was. And the fact, in the dream, I knew I was cheating on him. The dream wasn't about an ex, but a guy I can't stand in real life, so that made it all the worse.
@AnnaS930 I don't want to let myself look for a good few weeks. It sounds like something I never want to witness. I'm so carefee about things like that (blood, guts, etc) that maybe I'll end up looking though.
I would probably look right away. But I have had a lot of surgery and have seen some pretty gross stuff so I am hopeful that I can handle it. I am just sure my curiosity will get the best of me.
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
That said, I really, really did have an easier recovery than I had anticipated. I'm not just remembering it that way; it was that way at the time as well. Not much pain or bleeding, and I was up and about fairly quickly. And things totally look the same now. And not that anyone asked and maybe TMI, but DH says things feel the same.
As to dreams - has anyone had one where they started batting for the same team? I did this past weekend and it was weird! I woke up and mentioned it to DH and he was all 'Yea? Details!' and really, all I could say was that 'I was just not into it.' Lol. It was so strange. It was an intense dream but even in the intense dream I just couldn't get into it, and trust me I was trying. That so far takes the cake even above the ex-bf dreams.
I recommend getting a removable shower head as this was a life saver during postpartum. Soaking in the tub seemed really unsanitary to me for some reason (although this is what my OB recommended).
@laker2014 I felt like a virgin again after the first time DH and I DTD after 6wks postpartum. There is such a thing as a "love stitch" where it can make you a bit tighter so it's not like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
I remember thinking after I had DS "how will I ever be able to hold in a tampon again?" Vajays work in mysterious ways!
First time post-partum that you're ready for it again, all i can say is LUBE IS YOUR FRIEND.
I'm also dying at the "Throwing a hot dog down a hallway" image, that one always makes me smile.
Lesbian dreams, Check. Threesome/orgy dreams, Check. Much wilder things than this that make me blush that my mind even came up with them in the first place, Check. But I still woke up in a panting/sweating mess of joy, Check Check.
I'm telling you.. if HBO needs any new writers for their kinky/wacked out scenes they come up with, I'm applying
@blondie080300 I had the same issue. I have this beautiful pink and gray lacy dress I bought a couple of months ago that was loose in the bust. I wore it Easter morning and the bust was tight- not unbearably but it was absolutely tight. I threw a cardigan over it and wore it at least to church with my grandma and mother so I looked nice. I had people all cooing over my being pregnant but looking great- meanwhile I felt like a freaking whale, stupid pantyhose all tight and my underwear not fitting right, chest just screaming for air. When I got to my mom's I changed right into my maternity leggings and a loose pink shirt. The struggle is definitely real- where is this bump already? I can feel it under a layer of bloat and blubber but it needs to come out now so I stop looking like I gained 10 pounds instead of getting knocked up! I'm dying to see what you decide- finding out or not! Oh, and I've had some seriously steamy ex sex dreams too. Gets you going for the whole day, right? *sigh*
@runningisrad I have been rubbing and touching my belly constantly. Sometimes I don't realize I'm doing it. I am definitely not full fledged bump yet, but I too want the universe to know I did not just overeat (I mean, okay, I did overeat on Easter... but still...), it's because I'm growing life dang it!
@Annamcc12 I am the same! I HAD to have butternut squash soup for lunch today, and if I had it my way I would roast a sugar pumpkin and just eat the insides with a dash of salt. SO GOOD!
@jhems776 I have the same thing going on with my BFF from when we were 8 years old. She has faded out over the last year, which was heartbreaking because we've been friends so long. I was hoping she would respond to my message to her about not being able to fly across the country for her wedding last year because DH had a sudden heart attack at 35 years old (despite being healthy mostly), in which I also apologized profusely, and she never responded. No response to my FB announcement either. Hoping she comes around like yours did!
As for the post delivery carnage.. I knew I had some stitches down there, but they never exactly told me how many and I wasn't too keen to know. It took me WEEKS before I could even think of sneaking a peek. When I did it all just looked so weird to me... I swore that things got sewn together that weren't supposed to be haha everything definitely worked the same in the end, but I wouldn't say sex has been the same for me. Hopefully things don't get even more jacked up this time around!
I've heard of them trying to rotate the baby as you are in full labor for sunny side up babies. I'm so glad they didn't do that. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise no one knew.
Sebastian 3-11-14
Simon 5-2-15
Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
My best friend, who just gave birth to her third, pulled this last baby out of herself a la Kourtney Kardashian. The doctor asked if she wanted to. I just can't...I would be so afraid of dropping the baby and all that messy birth stuff (real mature, I know)...I can't.
RE: dreams. I had a dream that my husband was having an affair with a man.. who happened to be the priest on Vikings. I felt so weird the next morning.
I also have never felt the desire to look down below and assess the scene. Not for me.
Already bought a diaper bag, a handful of other clothes, crib sheets, crib dust ruffles and a changing pad cover. Still a lot to go, though.
Normally, I'm not into the matching twin outfits thing, but the little gowns are so cute that I couldn't resist doing it just once when they come home from the hospital. They're going to look like little prisoners escaping in their black and white stripes. Mommy's little jailbirds.
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d
I figured the kimono style gown would be easy to get them into and out of and be good for diaper changes. I was originally going to go with a two-piece set (onesie and pants), but I'm a big fan of stripes for some reason and I loved the contrast and color combo on these.
I may get their initials monogrammed on them after they've outgrown them. I plan on keeping them as keepsakes in some form or another.
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d
Did you plan on taking them home in those? They may be tough to get around a car seat buckle
Hmm, I hadn't considered that (FTM here, so I'm learning as I go). If it comes down to it, those can be their first full day at home outfits. Not the end of the world.
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d
Sebastian 3-11-14
Simon 5-2-15
Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
Sebastian 3-11-14
Simon 5-2-15
Baby #3 Due 9-29-16