Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Breastfeeding Questions/Support/Learnings Go Here
Tips? Ideas? I finally had him latch and eat with the shield because he was getting so frustrated. But if we don't need it anymore, that'd be great.
The LC I saw before is an hour away so I'd rather not go that far if I don't have to.
@rachswi No ideas because I also use a shield. I'm interested in the advice you get though. Good luck!
So DD is on meds for acid reflux and they're having us do Nutramgen for 48 hours to see if she has a milk protein intolerance. Thing is- it's working, really well. DD isn't screaming every waking moment. I've been EPing but if she does have an intolerance (we're doing nothing but breastmilk tomorrow to test) then I would need to donate my whole 75 oz freezer stash and then potentially take up an elimination diet. It would take roughly two weeks of soy and lactose free diet to eliminate from my breastmilk. At this point I'm not sure if I have it in me and if the benefits of BF are worth the crazy amount of hassle and upkeep (supplements, power pumping, diet ect. ) Is there any compromise or half way on any of this or All or Nothing? Would an elimination diet definitely work? Any thoughts?
I've had a few friends do elimination diets with success. One lives on and runs a dairy farm and had to give up all dairy- talk about not fair. But it did work for her.
You'd be surprised how many things have soy and dairy- you've got to read every lable.
Here's a link to another thread going on about this.
On the plus side I'm sure you'll feel a lot better yourself cutting out all that lactose. Not the same thing but I cut meat from my diet a few years back and felt like a whole new person after just a few days. I missed meat though and came crawling back after 6 months. (lost 20lbs though!) its up to you what you decide but I hope you don't feel like your LO will not be as healthy just because you don't BF, you've protected her for 2 months already and its the big picture that matters the most. Good luck!
If you google "how long does breast milk last in the refrigerator ", you'll find your answer.
Anyone else have this problem? What has worked for you?
I'm worried we won't have eating from a bottle established before I go back to work.
I had googled it, and came up with several different answers.
Good luck. Its so frustrating I know! As if going back to work isnt hard enough on you.
At the end of the week any pumped milk in my fridge gets moved to the deep freezer.
I will usually re-heat a bottle up to 3 times if they don't finish.
As for pumping your body will always make more milk for the baby but might not always respond to the pump or feel like it's full. Baby should be able to draw out the mill even if you just pumped because your breasts are never truly empty.
If you leak on the side you're not feeding from look into the milk saver. You wear it on the non feeding side and it collects the milk. I've been adding 3 to 4 ounces a day to my freezer stash without pumping at all.
Update: Got to go home a day early (yay!) because my enzyme levels were finally low enough. Hopefully that never happens again! But LO had a bunch of formula while I was gone, and she tolerated taking it just fine, so that's nice to know if we ever have another emergency. But even though she'd eaten less than an hour before I got home, the second she was in my arms she screamed to nurse. It warmed my heart, I was worried she's gotten used to the formula bottles and didn't want to go back.
I was on morphine, so some of my pumped bottles have a touch of that in it (tried to time pumps between doses, but that first day I couldn't handle the pain for that long). My nurse checked with the LC who said it was just fine to give her that milk, since I got morphine during my C-section, but DH said the one pumped bottle he tried to give to her, she fell asleep mid bottle and stayed pretty out for awhile! So, we're saving those bottles for bedtime, haha.
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