Inlaws were here all last week from across country...between his mom being "sick" yet not stearing clear of Lo ( when I wasn't around) and his niece obsessed with putting her hands all over his face (drove me mad), Lo now has his first cold.. So effing irritated
Ugh, sorry to hear that your LO is sick. I hate when people can't just be mindful of baby and keep their distance, even if it is "just a cold." I feel like people don't realize how hard it is for LOs (and us!) to be sick when they're that little! Hoping it passes quickly!
I had a relative try to have us over because she had been on medicine for bronchitis for 24 hours so it was ok per her doctor. Is your family on medicine??? What if they got it but weren't showing symptoms yet. We refused and then saw a FB photo of both of them holding a 3 day old...
I haven't read everyone's gripes but finally want to vent about my DH. I do most of the work, she only bottle feeds about 3x a week just starting out past 2 weeks. I went to meet a co-worker for a drink, was gone for 2 hours. I came back home and he was like "she's been crying for 30 minutes, I wanted to leave her I crib and cry...what's the difference between that and me holding her crying?" I was so upset at him. Even though you may try everything and it doesn't work, you keep going. I deal with this every day and you get a glimpse of it for 1 evening?
She stopped crying when I got her and she was trying to catch her breath in a whimper kind of way. It broke my heart. Now he's mad and taking it out on me. She's a baby! Ugh vent over!
Oh hell no! My DH has mentioned cio a couple times and I'm pretty sure googled it, but I have never let LO cry more than a few minutes. Now if he's just whimpering or whining I'll talk to him or give him his pacifier to see if that works, but if he progresses to full on tears, I pick him up. I think most moms on here have said that they don't let their babies cry for more than 5 to 10 minutes. I'm sure I'll eventually let him go longer than that, but 30 minutes? Negative. And he honestly didn't get the difference in holding her and just leaving her in the crib and got mad? I'm sorry!
Eta: cio, not cyo
I went over to July 15 and there is a mom who let her 7 week old CIO for AN HOUR!!! The most horrible and saddest thing I've heard. Like the baby was trying to manipulate them and she was showing him how it's done. Makes me angry thinking about it again. Poor baby.
@HayesRN13 that was basically what happened to us, MIL was sick and FIL thought because he didn't have symptoms, it was ok to visit. Dude, you still have the germs on you. I still don't think they get it it.
I am a horrible person because I seriously want to give our dog away (to family) but my husband is totally anti it. She barks every time someone comes to the door and wakes LO from one of his very few precious naps Every. Single. Time. She has also now started crying in her crate at night and rattling it all night. I tried putting her out of our room but she absolutely howls if I do that. I love her but I am struggling enough with the new baby and I am so over dealing with her as well. I am so guilty because she was my freakin world before baby and I know that most of her acting out is because I don't have enough time for her.
I am a horrible person because I seriously want to give our dog away (to family) but my husband is totally anti it. She barks every time someone comes to the door and wakes LO from one of his very few precious naps Every. Single. Time. She has also now started crying in her crate at night and rattling it all night. I tried putting her out of our room but she absolutely howls if I do that. I love her but I am struggling enough with the new baby and I am so over dealing with her as well. I am so guilty because she was my freakin world before baby and I know that most of her acting out is because I don't have enough time for her.
I am right here with you on this sentiment. I don't know how many times I have "joked" about giving them away. We have 2 dogs, a newfoundland and a GSD. They were the center of my world before LO came, but now I just don't have the patience or time to spend with them that I used to. Good thing SO takes care of them so well. I have major pet mom guilt about this, and am hoping as I grow as a parent, I am able to love them like I used to For now I try to make sure I have a few moments with each of them each day to let them know I still love them
I've been literally horribly digestive sick ..... (Nice way of saying literally pooping my pants) since this morning.. And my hubs is gone for 3 nights again..... Huge thumbs up here. I really wish my family wasn't 5 hrs away.
I've been literally horribly digestive sick ..... (Nice way of saying literally pooping my pants) since this morning.. And my hubs is gone for 3 nights again..... Huge thumbs up here. I really wish my family wasn't 5 hrs away.
Awww, that SUCKS!! I'm so sorry, and hope you recover quickly.
Total obnoxious first world gripe: Our building is getting new windows tomorrow, which is awesome. Not awesome is we have to move several pieces of furniture and all window dressings out of the way. And it is going to cause tons of dust and a huge mess. We also have no time frame, so just have to be home all day. I'm worried about air quality for LO. And I'm a whiney brat, and don't want to deal with the set up or mess. New windows will be nice, although we are moving out in 3 weeks, so.. Yeah.
I haven't read everyone's gripes but finally want to vent about my DH. I do most of the work, she only bottle feeds about 3x a week just starting out past 2 weeks. I went to meet a co-worker for a drink, was gone for 2 hours. I came back home and he was like "she's been crying for 30 minutes, I wanted to leave her I crib and cry...what's the difference between that and me holding her crying?" I was so upset at him. Even though you may try everything and it doesn't work, you keep going. I deal with this every day and you get a glimpse of it for 1 evening?
She stopped crying when I got her and she was trying to catch her breath in a whimper kind of way. It broke my heart. Now he's mad and taking it out on me. She's a baby! Ugh vent over!
Oh hell no! My DH has mentioned cio a couple times and I'm pretty sure googled it, but I have never let LO cry more than a few minutes. Now if he's just whimpering or whining I'll talk to him or give him his pacifier to see if that works, but if he progresses to full on tears, I pick him up. I think most moms on here have said that they don't let their babies cry for more than 5 to 10 minutes. I'm sure I'll eventually let him go longer than that, but 30 minutes? Negative. And he honestly didn't get the difference in holding her and just leaving her in the crib and got mad? I'm sorry!
Eta: cio, not cyo
I went over to July 15 and there is a mom who let her 7 week old CIO for AN HOUR!!! The most horrible and saddest thing I've heard. Like the baby was trying to manipulate them and she was showing him how it's done. Makes me angry thinking about it again. Poor baby.
I hope someone reamed her.. I don't even want to go there it will get way too ugly
7 weeks. That poor baby. My heart just hurts thinking about that. I have a whiney baby, she whines herself to sleep it's just what happens. But if she is crying (you all know that look and sound) I immediately go in to her room. She's very unhappy when I put her in her crib but settles within minutes with some face stroking and a hand on her chest. 7 weeks...an hour...my god.
ETA: OMG I just found her post..she toted it as some sort of success that he ONLY cried for 10 minutes the next two nights. And then said "don't let anyone tell you you're parenting wrong, trust your instincts". Holy hell mama. What kind of instincts tell you to let your child be in distress?
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
I think it was yesterday? In the morning LO woke up around 730am, straight 0 to 60 - asleep and then full on crying bloody murder within maybe 30 seconds to a minute. Usually he gives me more time / warning so I can start the morning process with a bit of leeway. But yesterday since he just basically woke up and started mad pissed off crying I had to do all the morning stuff with him crying. Namely, go pee myself, feed the cat (yes, that could technically wait but since it takes an hour to feed LO it seems mean to make the cat wait over an hour when it takes 90 seconds to just feed him), change LO, move us downstairs so I can watch the morning news while I feed LO... Anyway, all told its less than 10 minutes of doing stuff, and LO was pissed off crying the whole time and it was killing me, I felt so bad. And then, right before I finish rinsing the cat food can, LO starts to wind down and is still crying but it has this forlorn quality to it and my heart just broke. Just broke in half and fell to pieces. All I could think about was he was crying and his needs weren't met (breakfast for him) fast enough and he was giving up. All this in maybe 7 minutes. Killed me, hearing that crying transition, even tho at that point i was literally 30 seconds away from going to pick him up to feed him. Point being - There is NO FREAKING WAY I would have my baby CIO for an hour. Just thinking to myself that she had to hear that transition from pissed off crying to forlorn crying AND DID NOTHING. Her poor baby... Can you imagine how long an hour feels like to a baby - a 7 week old? An eternity...they're not even into that mental development yet where they have a grasp of relativity to the rest of the world. The baby isn't even able to comprehend the 'lesson' she thought she was teaching it by letting it cry for an hour, and that hour probably felt like a whole day to that baby. I'm so pissed off. I want to go look at this post but I know I really shouldn't. I just really shouldn't.
ETA this is a whole other scenario from those of you who have colicky, crying all the time babies. I want to make that distinction very clear. Those of you who have crying all the time babies, I know you are doing your best and despite that your baby still cries. There is no side eye from me to you on this issue. This other girl... She gets my side eye cause she didn't even try.
Everything. Everything is bugging me the last few days. Taking LO to the store and to get ice cream today in hopes that will remove this grouch. Extra stabby.
Ugh I have let LO whine and fuss for a while, but crying? Not more than 5 minutes! She's not a big cryer, so if she is, there's something wrong that I can fix.
Unless it's poop. I can't make her poop. She was crying when I left her at daycare this morning. It's day 3 and she was fine the first two days. It was awful but I just needed to remind myself that's what it was (she was trying soooo hard to poop at home but she couldn't do it, so I had to just bite the bullet and bring her to daycare ... Poor lady!)
@mellymar I've heard the transition cry from my LO too and it broke my heart. Very much the same scenario as yours. He woke up mad and I was trying to finish making lunch. Then I felt horrible for even worrying about myself. Ha! An hour is crazy at 7 weeks.
@dancegurl1118 my LO whines before he goes to sleep no matter where he is. Totally different!
7 weeks. That poor baby. My heart just hurts thinking about that. I have a whiney baby, she whines herself to sleep it's just what happens. But if she is crying (you all know that look and sound) I immediately go in to her room. She's very unhappy when I put her in her crib but settles within minutes with some face stroking and a hand on her chest. 7 weeks...an hour...my god.
ETA: OMG I just found her post..she toted it as some sort of success that he ONLY cried for 10 minutes the next two nights. And then said "don't let anyone tell you you're parenting wrong, trust your instincts". Holy hell mama. What kind of instincts tell you to let your child be in distress?
I know! Horrible right? What kind of mother does that. Yes she was reamed in the posts and rightfully so! . She never responded again. I hope she feels like the worst mother ever for doing that.
I think it was yesterday? In the morning LO woke up around 730am, straight 0 to 60 - asleep and then full on crying bloody murder within maybe 30 seconds to a minute. Usually he gives me more time / warning so I can start the morning process with a bit of leeway. But yesterday since he just basically woke up and started mad pissed off crying I had to do all the morning stuff with him crying. Namely, go pee myself, feed the cat (yes, that could technically wait but since it takes an hour to feed LO it seems mean to make the cat wait over an hour when it takes 90 seconds to just feed him), change LO, move us downstairs so I can watch the morning news while I feed LO... Anyway, all told its less than 10 minutes of doing stuff, and LO was pissed off crying the whole time and it was killing me, I felt so bad. And then, right before I finish rinsing the cat food can, LO starts to wind down and is still crying but it has this forlorn quality to it and my heart just broke. Just broke in half and fell to pieces. All I could think about was he was crying and his needs weren't met (breakfast for him) fast enough and he was giving up. All this in maybe 7 minutes. Killed me, hearing that crying transition, even tho at that point i was literally 30 seconds away from going to pick him up to feed him. Point being - There is NO FREAKING WAY I would have my baby CIO for an hour. Just thinking to myself that she had to hear that transition from pissed off crying to forlorn crying AND DID NOTHING. Her poor baby... Can you imagine how long an hour feels like to a baby - a 7 week old? An eternity...they're not even into that mental development yet where they have a grasp of relativity to the rest of the world. The baby isn't even able to comprehend the 'lesson' she thought she was teaching it by letting it cry for an hour, and that hour probably felt like a whole day to that baby. I'm so pissed off. I want to go look at this post but I know I really shouldn't. I just really shouldn't.
ETA this is a whole other scenario from those of you who have colicky, crying all the time babies. I want to make that distinction very clear. Those of you who have crying all the time babies, I know you are doing your best and despite that your baby still cries. There is no side eye from me to you on this issue. This other girl... She gets my side eye cause she didn't even try.
LO hates the car with a passion. Sometimes he will scream the bad scream for no reason other than he hates it. It breaks my heart, and we try to minimize dragging him around in the car needlessly... But we can't always, and I have a lot of guilt given today's thinking about not letting your baby cry. I find myself thinking "please keep crying, please keep crying" because I have been taught to think crying = hope. We have some 10 hour car rides coming up again, and they are soul crushing.
I don't know what I'm saying here. And obviously I don't think you lay your 7 week old down and let the baby stay in distress while you listen. But I do think there are times where we just can't help it because life has to go on. (Like @mellymar is saying.) So this whole "don't let the baby cry" philosophy is really just one more thing that causes needless Mom Guilt for me.
I'm extremely tired of extremes and absolutes. Sigh.
^^^ ooohhh, see? @virginiaunicorn11 has a very good point, and one I overlooked completely. My frame of reference has just been expanded again and I'm a better person for it. I certainly am in the philosophy of not causing anyone needless mom guilt cause I don't want it on myself, either. This whole mommy thing is really hard, isn't it? :-?
Also, oh man, girl... I feel for you with those car rides and your LO who doesn't like the car. I remember you talking about that and I was hoping it was just a phase and he would eventually realize it was all one big, lulling machine, but I guess that hasn't happened. That really, really sucks. Wishing you smooth travels (as smooth as they can be)
@virginiaunicorn11 oh man 10 hour car rides? Even id be crying. Maybe it'll be the turning point and your LO will be like "hey wait this car thing ain't so bad!"
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
A friend texted me today saying how annoying breastfeeding is and how by her last feeding of the day she doesn't want to do it anymore. Meanwhile, her baby was born 3 weeks ago, eats every 3 hrs during the day, sleeps for 5 hr stretches at night, when she does wake up her husband feeds her a pumped bottle so my friend can get a full nights sleep, and it only hurts her sometimes during the latch. I'm irritated because I had long convos with her about how much bf-ing hurt, and how I would be brought to tears in the middle of the night from pain from DD trying to eat. How sad it was that all you want to do is feed your baby, but it hurts so badly. I feel no empathy for her situation at all. I dunno. Maybe she's trying to connect with me somehow, but I feel like it's just a slap in the face.
@virginiaunicorn11 would it be possible to sit in the back with lo on the long rides?
And sometimes letting them cry is unavoidable and no one should feel guilty for that. But being proud that you let your 7 week old cio breaks my heart. It made me cry.
I think it was yesterday? In the morning LO woke up around 730am, straight 0 to 60 - asleep and then full on crying bloody murder within maybe 30 seconds to a minute. Usually he gives me more time / warning so I can start the morning process with a bit of leeway. But yesterday since he just basically woke up and started mad pissed off crying I had to do all the morning stuff with him crying. Namely, go pee myself, feed the cat (yes, that could technically wait but since it takes an hour to feed LO it seems mean to make the cat wait over an hour when it takes 90 seconds to just feed him), change LO, move us downstairs so I can watch the morning news while I feed LO... Anyway, all told its less than 10 minutes of doing stuff, and LO was pissed off crying the whole time and it was killing me, I felt so bad. And then, right before I finish rinsing the cat food can, LO starts to wind down and is still crying but it has this forlorn quality to it and my heart just broke. Just broke in half and fell to pieces. All I could think about was he was crying and his needs weren't met (breakfast for him) fast enough and he was giving up. All this in maybe 7 minutes. Killed me, hearing that crying transition, even tho at that point i was literally 30 seconds away from going to pick him up to feed him. Point being - There is NO FREAKING WAY I would have my baby CIO for an hour. Just thinking to myself that she had to hear that transition from pissed off crying to forlorn crying AND DID NOTHING. Her poor baby... Can you imagine how long an hour feels like to a baby - a 7 week old? An eternity...they're not even into that mental development yet where they have a grasp of relativity to the rest of the world. The baby isn't even able to comprehend the 'lesson' she thought she was teaching it by letting it cry for an hour, and that hour probably felt like a whole day to that baby. I'm so pissed off. I want to go look at this post but I know I really shouldn't. I just really shouldn't.
ETA this is a whole other scenario from those of you who have colicky, crying all the time babies. I want to make that distinction very clear. Those of you who have crying all the time babies, I know you are doing your best and despite that your baby still cries. There is no side eye from me to you on this issue. This other girl... She gets my side eye cause she didn't even try.
LO hates the car with a passion. Sometimes he will scream the bad scream for no reason other than he hates it. It breaks my heart, and we try to minimize dragging him around in the car needlessly... But we can't always, and I have a lot of guilt given today's thinking about not letting your baby cry. I find myself thinking "please keep crying, please keep crying" because I have been taught to think crying = hope. We have some 10 hour car rides coming up again, and they are soul crushing.
I don't know what I'm saying here. And obviously I don't think you lay your 7 week old down and let the baby stay in distress while you listen. But I do think there are times where we just can't help it because life has to go on. (Like @mellymar is saying.) So this whole "don't let the baby cry" philosophy is really just one more thing that causes needless Mom Guilt for me.
I'm extremely tired of extremes and absolutes. Sigh.
Oh, one time LO decided she was hungry right now when we were in the car and 15 min from home. I decided to finish the drive. I think we will all have our moments!
Thanks ladies! I didn't mean to make this a "woe is me" thing. At all. Or to be a special snowflake about things.
I do actually sit in the back with him all the time now, and he's definitely getting better... Not good, but a little better.
LO has ridden East Coast to Midwest and back already (9 hour rides that take 12 hours with him). It's awful, but what can ya do.
PS, another business idea: Google Maps, Baby Edition. It gives you directions, per normal, but you plug in some basic stats about your baby (age, how often s/he feeds, nap schedule, etc), and it tells you where the best places are to stop along the way, and gives you an adjusted estimated travel time.
Been on hold with Macy's for 17 minutes. Baby is due to wake up any minute. If their payment system worked correctly then I wouldn't have to waste their time and mine.
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
PS, another business idea: Google Maps, Baby Edition. It gives you directions, per normal, but you plug in some basic stats about your baby (age, how often s/he feeds, nap schedule, etc), and it tells you where the best places are to stop along the way, and gives you an adjusted estimated travel time.
I got super excited and thought "why haven't I seen this!" and then realized it wasn't real. Damn. We drive to see our families in WI and it's a 9 hr drive without kids. You had my hopes up!
I'm full of gripes today. So because of my clogged ducts on my right side I can only wear one type of bra, loosened all the way basically it's like I'm not even wearing a bra. So my boobs are saggy now bc I can't use support. So I tightened the strap A SMIDGE last night and woke up with one of the worst clogged ducts of my life. I'm really beyond frustrated. Basically if anything touches my breast I get a clogged duct. Why is my right boob such an asshole? It's ruining breastfeeding for us.
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
@mellymar I'm so sick of that crap, why can't we all just love each other? Why does everyone have to act superior to other groups? We all deserve the same treatment. And I'm sick of people posting stuff on social media just to pick fights. I saw a meme on Facebook the other day that said:
Tim is on the Internet, Tim sees something that offends him. Tim keeps scrolling and moves on with his life. Good job, Tim.
It made me think of you saying your dad likes to get confrontational about your Facebook posts.
@dancegurl1118 that is so frustrating! I only got 2 and I wanted to cry!! I'm so sorry! I started sleeping bra less....... I don't know if that's something you could do. My boobs are huge and I like it still for sleeping. Ugh hang in there. I bet your sick of massaging.....
OMG isn't it 2015?! Why is the Kirby vacuum company coming to my door all the time? And no, I'm not stupid enough to let you give me a "free" carpet cleaning so you can convince me to buy a several thousand dollar vacuum. hi, I have the Internet. If I really want a fancy vacuum I'm going to do the research, not write a check to some rando on my front porch. At least this one didn't ask me if my mom was home. (Baby face problems.)
I am so tired. Last night was so awful and my older kids and now door to door salesmen are conspiring to ruin my nap. Why is my 2 month old the easiest person in my life?
Stupid people irritate me. All of the patience I have is currently being used for LO, DS, DH and the dog. No, you do not rank above the dog. Take your stupid somewhere else.
@ChardeeMacDennis be careful of those vacuum salesman. We had several in our small town area and surrounding that "claimed" to be selling and they were actually just wanting you to open your door so they could case your house..... And they came back and robbed several ppl. So now anytime anyone comes to "sell" something besides a Girl Scout I do not open the door and I call the police...... Awesome people out there.
@mellymar I'm not hippy dippy at all, as I've said before, I'm fairly conservative, but I'm just sick of people singling others out, including themselves. We're all humans. We need to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and look out for each other. We're all humans who deserve respect and courtesy regardless of religion, race, sexual orientation, career, etc. Maybe it's the sociology major coming out, but people need to learn what tolerance and compassion mean.
@KarasTwin I didn't mean to insinuate hippy dippyness towards you (if you felt that way). But everything (EVERYTHING) you said above is spot on. Absolutely spot on.
Re: The Daily Gripe
And my hubs is gone for 3 nights again..... Huge thumbs up here.
I really wish my family wasn't 5 hrs away.
Total obnoxious first world gripe:
Our building is getting new windows tomorrow, which is awesome. Not awesome is we have to move several pieces of furniture and all window dressings out of the way. And it is going to cause tons of dust and a huge mess. We also have no time frame, so just have to be home all day.
I'm worried about air quality for LO. And I'm a whiney brat, and don't want to deal with the set up or mess.
New windows will be nice, although we are moving out in 3 weeks, so.. Yeah.
ETA: OMG I just found her post..she toted it as some sort of success that he ONLY cried for 10 minutes the next two nights. And then said "don't let anyone tell you you're parenting wrong, trust your instincts". Holy hell mama. What kind of instincts tell you to let your child be in distress?
ETA this is a whole other scenario from those of you who have colicky, crying all the time babies. I want to make that distinction very clear. Those of you who have crying all the time babies, I know you are doing your best and despite that your baby still cries. There is no side eye from me to you on this issue. This other girl... She gets my side eye cause she didn't even try.
Unless it's poop. I can't make her poop. She was crying when I left her at daycare this morning. It's day 3 and she was fine the first two days. It was awful but I just needed to remind myself that's what it was (she was trying soooo hard to poop at home but she couldn't do it, so I had to just bite the bullet and bring her to daycare ... Poor lady!)
@dancegurl1118 my LO whines before he goes to sleep no matter where he is. Totally different!
Edited for spelling.
I don't know what I'm saying here. And obviously I don't think you lay your 7 week old down and let the baby stay in distress while you listen. But I do think there are times where we just can't help it because life has to go on. (Like @mellymar is saying.) So this whole "don't let the baby cry" philosophy is really just one more thing that causes needless Mom Guilt for me.
I'm extremely tired of extremes and absolutes. Sigh.
Also, oh man, girl... I feel for you with those car rides and your LO who doesn't like the car. I remember you talking about that and I was hoping it was just a phase and he would eventually realize it was all one big, lulling machine, but I guess that hasn't happened. That really, really sucks. Wishing you smooth travels (as smooth as they can be)
And sometimes letting them cry is unavoidable and no one should feel guilty for that. But being proud that you let your 7 week old cio breaks my heart. It made me cry.
I do actually sit in the back with him all the time now, and he's definitely getting better... Not good, but a little better.
LO has ridden East Coast to Midwest and back already (9 hour rides that take 12 hours with him). It's awful, but what can ya do.
PS, another business idea: Google Maps, Baby Edition. It gives you directions, per normal, but you plug in some basic stats about your baby (age, how often s/he feeds, nap schedule, etc), and it tells you where the best places are to stop along the way, and gives you an adjusted estimated travel time.
ETA - there's been enough hate
Tim is on the Internet, Tim sees something that offends him. Tim keeps scrolling and moves on with his life. Good job, Tim.
It made me think of you saying your dad likes to get confrontational about your Facebook posts.
I'm so sorry! I started sleeping bra less....... I don't know if that's something you could do. My boobs are huge and I like it still for sleeping.
Ugh
I am so tired. Last night was so awful and my older kids and now door to door salesmen are conspiring to ruin my nap. Why is my 2 month old the easiest person in my life?
(here's Melly showing her hippy dippy colors
Awesome people out there.