The great big question thread

kalesix3

I'm seeing a ton of posts with questions pop up outside of randoms so I figured now would be a good time for a dedicated question thread. 
Please remember that drive by questions are  inappropriate and especially if you haven't spent any effort introducing yourself and genuinely getting to know your fellow bumpmates. 

maddmama

Can I be a poop and ask for Knotties to change their user name? It’s sooo hard to remember who is who and the 5,000 numbers are insane 😂😂😂😬😬😬😬 i know there’s a knottie thread but I see a lot not changing it 

ksd20

Any STM+ still breastfeeding? DS weaned when I went away for a weekend around 18m when I was 6 months pregnant. DD is newly 2 and does not seem to be interested in stopping (most mornings and bedtimes). 

elz0208

Hello..i just have a question..
Last month sep 19 to sep 23 i got my period.. and me and my partner had make love sep 27 to 28 and he cum inside.. now in my period tracker i was 2 days delayed on my period.. me and my partner had make love oct 19 around 9pm and i had a weird color orange something when i wipe with a tissue..its very little..like almost nothing..then oct 20 ..at 9am ..i got bleeding..first was very little..but in the afternoon it became a lot.. i consider it as period because i usually have heavy bleeding..but whats concerned me is that i normally always have period cramps or pain in lower belly,but this time was nothing..also i usually get too much blood cloth..but this time it more looks like watery flows..but its totally dark red.. i tried to not worry but yesterday oct 22 at 8pm my bleeding is totally stopped... what is this means? Am i pregnant? Because from the moment i got period delayed, i am dizzy, fatigue, feeling like i am about to vomit, sometimes i feel my nipples sensitive,. Sometimes i have sudden pain in my womb.. and even up to now i have all that symptoms..am i pregnant or actually not..? I took pregnancy test on 1 day i got delayed but it was negative..and on 2nd day delayed there is very very very faint line like it almost nothing.. 😔 i don't want to go to check up because i am afraid of being disappointed...pls help me answer my question..

maddmama

ksdelong20 said:

Any STM+ still breastfeeding? DS weaned when I went away for a weekend around 18m when I was 6 months pregnant. DD is newly 2 and does not seem to be interested in stopping (most mornings and bedtimes). 

Not this pregnancy, but last my 2 year old was also breastfeeding. She actually ended up stopping because my milk dried up around 10ish weeks? But I know a lot of mamas tandem nurse with big siblings

bh_29

Hi, a very very faint positive line is start of positive line. You need to test again in few days. Sending baby dust and great luck to you!

thescarletmom

@ksdelong20 DS2 is 2.5 and is very uninteresting in stopping nursing lol. It's not my plan to tandem nurse but he nurses usually 2-3 times a day currently and I'm dreading weaning. Hoping my milk supply dropping later in pregnancy does it for me, but I'm sure I won't be so lucky. 

sunny_native14

@ksdelong20 DD2 is 18 mo and still very much nursing. My DD1 weaned around 18 mos when my milk dried up at 17 weeks pregnant - I joke that she'd still be nursing now at almost 4 if that didn't happen. Honestly, I'm kind of waiting for my milk to decrease to help wean my 18mo old. I'm just exhausted and from my previous experience, they sleep so much better at night when not trying to get milky like every 2 hours lol. I was preparing to tandem nurse with my last newborn, but again, I'm not sure I'm so interested in that this time around.

alicesmith6200

ksdelong20 said:

Any STM+ still breastfeeding? DS weaned when I went away for a weekend around 18m when I was 6 months pregnant. DD is newly 2 and does not seem to be interested in stopping (most mornings and bedtimes). 

I’m in the same boat, my daughter is still nursing but it’s awful. 😩😩 My nipples are so sore, it really hurts for her to nurse. 

I’m trying to wean her and she isn’t very happy about it but it’s getting better. I just can’t handle it for more than maybe a minute if that. I do feel kinda bad about it. 

annemarie96

Same here you guys. It’s rough. My son is TWO and I am so ready to cut him off from the boob. I’m trying to be nice and wean him down to once a day first but it just started killing my nipples and I can feel it immediately trigger cramping and I just feel so done with the pain and anxiety about that!
I think he’s just going to have to be sad. 😭

kforres

Hi, I breastfed my daughter (she was 18 months old) till I got morning sickness bad while pregnant and my doctor said to just say let's to such in such (like wanna go swing or color or whatever they like to do)
And this helped . Also my milk never dried up and toward the end of my pregnancy I started breastfeeding her again, on council from my doctor , it helps stimulate labor toward the end. I think cramps are normal right now inearly pregnancy,  because everything is stretching....I'm having them bad and am not currently breast feeding. And then when baby got here I weaned my daughter she was 28 months by then to focus on baby and she did great with that. 

annemarie96

@kforres yeah, I think offering one of their favorite snacks instead helps a lot. And if I just tell my son that he’s big and he has milk in cups now honestly he does okay with that! He’s been more emotional over all and I think it’s been related to weaning, but in the moment he does really well actually. He loooves his ripple milk/oat milk, so he’s happy with that. 

And then about the cramping, I’ve been cramping quite a bit in general this time around, and that’s pretty normal for me. But I have been surprised at how when he latches on lately it’s exactly like the pains after having a baby. It’s pretty painful! 

Pregnancy and breastfeeding is just such a wild ride. All of it. 😂

kalesix3

How does everyone feel about doing weekly member check-in threads starting on Monday? 
My last BMB we split the check-ins into weeks due so there was a thread for due dates June 1-7, 8-14, 15-21, 22-30 if that makes sense? So you find the thread for your due date week and catch up on what's going on in your life, how pregnancy is going, ask questions etc. We started our threads after our group was a bit established so if people want to wait a few more weeks we can do that too, let me know what you all think! 

sunny_native14

@kalesix3 I would say let's wait a few more weeks to see if we can build up some more active members. But ultimately I'm fine either way. Thanks for taking the lead with the boards! 

kalesix3

@sunny_native14 that's a great idea! I didn't want our active members now to feel like there's nothing happening here but we have some great threads like randoms and symptoms so I'm totally fine waiting a few more weeks as new members are still coming in 🥰 

ReadyForaB

@kalesix3 great idea!

thescarletmom

Anybody else already afraid of how hard it's going to be to name baby? If we have a third boy the kid just won't have a name haha. We *most likely* already have a first name for a girl, but a middle name is going to be like pulling teeth. DH and I are both so picky about names, it takes us months of active discussion to pick just one of the names! 

kalesix3

@thescarletmom kinda? I find names I like way easier than my partner so I already have a few good ones for either a boy or girl but my partner hates literally every single boys name known to man and is ridiculously stubborn and hard to comprise with so I'm dreading how picky he will be with agreeing on a boy's name this time. 🤦🏻‍♀️

hitcj4687

We can't seem to agree on names to save our lives!!! We seem to have a girl name already picked, but boy names are so hard. What's with that!?!? My son is Reese and I love his name. It felt so east to pick when I was pregnant with him, but now I can't even begin to imagine picking another boy name and I have a gut feeling we are having a boy lol

thescarletmom

It's extra hard because my husband's name is Zach and he complains all the time about how he had 3 other Zachs in his kindergarten class. So he's very anti "common names", nothing on a top 100 list, etc. Which I'm fine with, not especially difficult for me to comply with that. But his other arbitrary restrictions pop up as I suggest names 🤪 I have a list of names I love, and he hates basically all of them. 

kalesix3

@thescarletmom haha arbitrary restrictions hits the nail on the head! Nothing nature themed, nothing trendy, nothing too hipster, not biblical, not outlandish and old fashioned, not a family name but if it's a TV character he's sentimental about he'll consider it, not a Chad name, etc etc. I tell people we're picky but it's basically just my partner lol. We named our daughter an ocean and a bird name, and our son has two really serious Latin names, and we settled on it when I was 36 weeks after an entire pregnancy of disagreeing lol. I know a few of the names this time around he didn't hate last pregnancy so I'm hoping it will be way easier to settle. 

@hitcj4687 why is it boys names? I feel bad, I wish one wasn't harder than the other and I can't even figure out why boys names feel so hard but they're a struggle! I'm in a name group on that is amazing with hundreds of lists to help find something thank goodness.  

kalesix3

I suppose I am pretty picky with no bible names and no popular names but there are so many off the beaten path names out there I don't think of it being super picky but I probably am. 

thescarletmom

@kalesix3 the worst part about our kids names is literally both times people were like "oh did you name them after x?" And I was like no!!! We go out of our way for our kids NOT to be named after things - only exception being that DS1s middle name was my little sister's best friend's name, who passed away while i was pregnant. DH was the 4th generation male with the middle name Robert and he told his dad he would absolutely not be carrying on the tradition lol. DS1 has a name that's a side character in twilight so people asked that enough to drive me mad. And DS2 has the same name as a character in a TV show a friend and I watched and he teased me about it. So I feel anxious to name this baby something that nobody can possibly ask if we named them after anything!!

Plus I feel like our kids names have to "go together" and I can't tell you exactly what that means, I just know when it doesn't haha. 

kalesix3

@thescarletmom oh I hate that question! We always just get asked if our son's name is a family name and I think they ask it because it's unusual but it usually ends there.  The twilight thing would drive me insane 😆 our son's name is actually a pretty popular actors name and I'm shocked nobody asks us about it but maybe we just don't know that many curious people haha 
And no but for real when names don't go together you just know! I hope something unexpected pops up and you both fall in love with it! 

thescarletmom

@kalesix3 oh and I forgot about DS1s name, it was also the name of a very popular local Italian restaurant that burned down a few years before he was born (which is funny because I don't think it's an Italian name? But maybe). And I'll never forget telling my dad what boy name we had picked out and him going "that's a fat kids name!" To be fair to him,  he had had a major series of strokes like 3 months before but I think it was purely based on the Italian guy the restaurant had been named after?? It was insane. It doesn't even make sense as a thing to say? But now I feel like I'm leaving yall in so much suspense not just saying his name haha

kalesix3

@thescarletmom oh I don't mind haha, I'm feeling weird saying names right now, maybe because of all the lurkers? Idk but it weirdos me out so I don't mind if you don't say your son's name either!! 
My in laws weren't fatphobic about our name but they did tell us very openly how much they hated it. They called my son a name they liked more or shortened his name to a more acceptable version they preferred which FIL still does to this day. It took me a solid year of correcting them every single time they said his name wrong or called him their fantasy name and finally MIL started calling him by the correct name. It was exhausting. So glad we don't announce our name to anyone till baby is here, negative comments would crush me when I was pregnant 🥺

thescarletmom

@kalesix3 oh my god they made up a fantasy name for him 🥺 fighting words! I would commit a murder. I'm personally honestly not particularly bothered whether or not someone likes my kids name! If they didn't put the baby in me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But you don't get to be disrespectful to my child's face about it.

annemarie96

@kalesix3 a fantasy name? 😅 Who do they think they are? 

This is part of the reason I want a girl this time. I’ve dreamed of having a Caroline, which in my area is definitely not common. I’ve only ever met a couple Carolines in person. But it has just come to mean a girl who can do anything, to me. Like, Caroline can be sophisticated, she can be a CEO, she can be a hippy mom of 7, she can be a doctor, literally anything makes sense. 

For some reason this name has just started to mean some kind of feminine strength to me and I love it. 

But another boy?? Ew. Hate all the names. 😂

thescarletmom

@annemarie96 boys names have always been harder! I think because you can go so many different directions with girls names and find at least a few pretty options but with boys, I find that if it doesn't fall into a small handful of categories I'm guaranteed to not like it. 

kalesix3

@annemarie96 I personally can't do Caroline because it's a family name which is sad because I absolutely love it too,  but the way you feel about the name is the way I've grown to feel about Catriona which I absolutely adore and don't know anyone named it. But because it *can* be pronounced as "Katrina" my partner pitches a fit about it and claims I'm trying to saddle a baby with a mass murderer name because of the hurricane 🙄 I told him literally nobody makes that connection and we can't let every hurricane ruin a name for us but he's so stubborn on it. 
I've noticed it's a lot harder for me to picture a name I choose on a grown man, it's like this weird mental block I get 🤦🏻‍♀️ if I just pictured a baby in the name it'd probably be super easy lol. 

thescarletmom

@kalesix3 my husband and I also have to pick a name that fits every life stage - baby, kid, teenager, adult, elderly. If we just can't see the name making sense for one or more of the stages, and there's no viable shortened version or nickname, it's on the chopping block. I'm sorry grandma, but Ethel just isn't a baby or teen's name! 

ReadyForaB

@thescarletmom we totally do this as well!  Although, my DH is stuck in the 90s when it comes to naming kiddos haha. If it were up to him we would have all Amandas and Christophers. 

thescarletmom

@ReadyForaB noooo! Haha. Our current biggest obstacle is that we won't reuse the first letter of our kids' names for future first names, and it turns out I actually love a lot of J names?? Which is sort of surprising to me, J feels so unassuming. But since DS1s name starts with J, it's off the table. No Juniper (which I adore), Jesse, Juliet, etc. for us! And DS2s name starts with E, so he knocks off a lot of names too. And DH would prefer no M or Z since our names start with those, but I feel a bit less picky there. 

ReadyForaB

@thescarletmom I get that.  My DH and I both have A names.  Our son is not.  Our top girl name starts with an A and it makes me feel a little funny that we would all be A except DS haha.

maddmama

My husband and I are two M names. 1st is J, 2nd is V so no repeating M, J or V here haha.

hitcj4687

My husband is Michael and I love the name Micah. But it feels too similar. We've discussed Simon. It feels classic, but not strange and not commonly used. I think we may be getting somewhere on a boy name lmao. I know there's sooo much time left but I like having an idea of what babies name will be 

cassafrass123

Oh man, I feel this with the naming struggle! All of my three kids so far have 3 syllable old fashioned names that have good modern nicknames. I don’t want to reuse letters or the letter from our names either. I can’t use C, J, M, G, or N. The 3 syllable thing was an accident but I feel like it would be weird to have 1 shorter name now. Plus, I’ll name a baby after someone, but my rule is that person has to be deceased. My husband usually hates everything until he doesn’t so whichever name I come up with that survives the war of attrition is what the baby’s name is!

cassafrass123

Oh, and it also can’t be top 100

thescarletmom

@cassafrass123 this sounds exactly as convoluted as it is for us too. Since my husband has 3 7+ letter long names (meaning first middle last) he INSISTED that since DS2s first name was "really long" (7 letters) he had to have a short middle name so it wouldn't "be a mouthful". We also dont do family names, or "matchy"/rhyming names (my older sister and i have the same name, with the first letter switched for example). There's so many rules! So many things arbitrarily off limits! So much strife! Plus naming a girl is insane with him because there's this one name he's completely obsessed with that I will not allow him to use (because it's from magic the gathering, for any unfortunate souls who know what that is). So he basically says no to everything that isn't that name lol. 

kalesix3

@hitcj4687 I adore the name Micah and I've always wanted a Malachi but with my partners last name it sounds like a supervillain name and I'm too self conscious to use it. Maybe I'll revisit it for a middle name! 

@cassafrass123 the war of attrition lol, I'm dying that's so accurate! 
So I mentioned Theodore when we first started TTC again, and my partner says he hates it but I bring it up frequently and it's been over a year of mentioning it and he doesn't say he hates it anymore... sooo maybe he'll warm up to it thanks to the long game 😂 or I'll lose interest and it's back to square 1. I feel like it's a little too popular with the hipster crowd but at the same time it would go so well with our son's name so... We'll see what happens. 
One of our arbitrary naming rules is that we can't name our kids any name for the purpose of shortening it. Like I adore Magnolia but only for Maggie since I don't feel Maggie is enough of a name on its own so by my own rules I can never use it 😂😂 maybe this is the pregnancy we mellow out and become more reasonable lol 

cassafrass123

When I tell you guys the last pregnancy the name “Thaddeus” made it unreasonably far into the discussion… don’t worry it’s on the list this time too