The Great Big Question Thread

aukeev

**stolen from another board, I thought it might be nice to have for all of our random questions that come up! **

Ask your questions here! Whether they are for STM/STM+s to answer, they are TMI, or even if you think they are dumb. (They're not.) Let's hear 'em!

aukeev

I'll lob one out there. 

Other PGAL moms - do/did you do anything special to tell your significant other when you found out you were pregnant, or did you just flat out tell them? 

runnergirl2018

@aukeev I tested kind of early to see light positive and am going to test together with partner in a few days. Last time I told him in a surprise way and he did not like it and then we had a loss in August 

babytumcuc

I flat out told my husband. I woke up early (like 3am) and couldn’t stand waiting to test so I went and did it. When I saw the two lines I jumped into the bed and showed him the test. He was barely awake.

rosegoldg

We bought a test with our shop and then told him I was going upstairs but had a negative a few days earlier so not to get his hopes up. As soon as I saw that positive sign I ran down the stairs and threw it at him hahahaha 

farmfamily21

First kid I told my husband right away because we had been trying for 8mos. Second kid I surprised him but only by saying something kind of funny. He didn’t believe so I had to show him the test. The one in august that resulted in a miscarriage I just told him because it was a surprise and I was super nervous because I just finished meds for my PCOS and got my first Covid shot. This one I just told him because I was so excited and didn’t want to wait to plan something. 

mama_misa

First time parents, I had a box ready with a onesie that said “hello daddy”, a cute note and the test. I kept it until we were actually pregnant. Luckily it took 2 cycles of trying. I opened the box, told him to check out the pregnancy test and he was so excited!

runnergirl2018

Has anyone had a doc appointment when 4 weeks along? I called this morning to schedule and that's when they asked me to come in.  
I had a loss a couple of months ago so I know they mentioned wanting to see me earlier this time around.  Curious what I might expect?

tuxielove93

Did they change the policy around first pregnancy appointments in the last two years? I had to fight with the offices to get in at 8 weeks with my last two, and now today I called a NEW office and they got me in tomorrow 😳

binxybaby

@tuxielove93 I'm jealous. I have to wait until 10 weeks! Ugh. 

runnergirl2018

@tuxielove93
it’s so variable. For my first they saw me at 9 weeks
we moved and I called 2 offices for my last one and one wouldn’t see me until after 10 weeks and the other one scheduled the first between 6-8 weeks 🤷🏻‍♀️🤪
i had a loss over the summer so now they’re seeing me at 4 weeks

inthewoods23

@runnergirl2018 @tuxielove93 if I had to guess, is the appointment just to track HCG? Mine is letting me get an HCG and progesterone check late next week (after 5 weeks) for my peace of mind, otherwise the initial appointment is between 7-9 weeks.

runnergirl2018

@inthewoods23 my appt has an ultrasound scheduled as part of it. I was trying to schedule quickly at work so it didn’t hit me how weird that was until after I hung up. We’ll see what actually happens tomorrow! 

runnergirl2018

@inthewoods23
i called and said, I just got a positive pregnancy test and want to schedule my first appt. They asked my LMP, and then said we can see you Thursday. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣🤪 when I asked how long to plan for (one of the OBs is always behind) she said the US should be right on time and then told me how long I can probably expect for the OB to see me

inthewoods23

@runnergirl2018 what can they even see at 4 weeks??

runnergirl2018

@inthewoods23

That’s what I’ve been wondering too! From what I’ve read or seen on another forum they will just look to make sure the gestational sac is there 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’ll update tomorrow!

butcaniskipreggo

When to share? 

Hi! First pregnancy for me… feeling conflicted on when to start telling people in a few categories: my mom? close family? Friends? Medical professionals or workout teachers? 

Would love to hear you moms and almost moms’ perspective. 

Side note— on the mood swings— everytime I think about telling my mother I start crying bc I know she will be thrilled. 

babywiik

@knottie....(maybe change your user name so it's easier to type?🤪) this is my second pregnancy and I tell everyone pretty early on. At least the people I see regularly +family. I was really sick last time so there was no way I could keep it a secret very long. Often, people say to wait until 12 weeks when the risk of miscarriage is lower. For me, I want to be able to share the joy with others and if something would happen, I won't be all alone in my grief. That's just me though. Awww, when you say telling your mom makes you cry it reminds me of when we surprised my parents this summer. We live in Norway, they in the US so we hadn't seen each other since before covid and last November I had a baby they hadn't gotten to meet yet. I'm getting teary now just thinking of all the joy in the reunion😭😅 

binxybaby

I cannot wait to tell people. I'm usually sending photos of my positive pregnancy tests to my friends as soon as I get them. Don't tell my husband though...

tuxielove93

I always tell the close family early (grandmas and great grandmas). It’s really up to you. A lot of people wouldn’t want to have to tell anyone if something happened. I personally would rather share the grief. Our family also likes to send Christmas gifts for the new baby, so we’ve always told them early because we’ve always had July babies! So they find out around 6 weeks. Plus I get super sick, and even from far away they would suspect something is up. I just told our family last night with a fun game. 

I would just consider how you would feel if something happened and you had to tell them. If you would want them to know, there’s no reason to wait. If it would be worse for you to have to tell them about a loss, then wait until after 12 weeks when the chances of that happening go down dramatically. Also keep in mind that if you do get sick/have very obvious symptoms and you see people regularly they may suspect something is up. I like to do special things to announce, so if you don’t want that ruined you might want to go early if they will get suspicious and start asking questions! 

rosegoldg

I’m so ready to tell our closest but my husbands a bit more reserved. I told him this morning that he just needs to decide who he would want to know and be able to support us if something were to happen and he’s currently thinking it over.

We’ve decided to tell family at my FILs birthday in a couple weeks so any present suggestions would be grand! I’m gonna tell my manager tonight (she’s one of my best friends) bc I work with aggressive patients so we need that safeguarding in place.

It’s our best friends we’re struggling with as they started trying before we did and part of me just feels a bit guilty tbh. I know they’d be as happy as we would be for them but I know it’ll bring some sadness too 

runnergirl2018

For our first pregnancy a few years ago, we told a few close friends right away but ended up not telling family until 12/13 weeks - mainly because we lived in a different state and we would be there in person for another family event at that time and we wanted to tell them in person if we could. Then we told work and the rest of our friends right after. I got really "lucky" that i agreed to take on a temporary 2nd job just before we found out we were pregnant, so i was working nutty hours  which was terrible, but also made it really easy to have a reasonable explanation for my fatigue and why i felt so crappy to my coworkers 

TW*miscarriage* My last pregnancy my hubby wanted to tell our immediate family right away so they found out around 5-6 weeks... the only downside is my in laws were not good at keeping it to themselves so more people than we wanted found out and we ended up having a loss. i was glad our close friend and family knew for support, but the others that we didn't tell directly and then randomly congratulated us or asked us about things after we lost the baby was really hard* END TW

This time around, we will tell family early but we are waiting until my initial doc appointments, mainly to prevent my in laws from sharing too much, which they probably wouldn't after the last experience anyways.  I"m only 4+3 today, so we'll likely tell them in the next week or two.  I have told a few really close friends.  We live around family now and I see my in-laws a few times a week since they help with my son, and I get pretty sick starting at around 6 weeks so i'm sure there would be no hiding it anyways

feather_heather

I told my best friend as soon as I turned the test last time, and waited until we confirmed everything looked good at the 8 week ultrasound to tell immediate family. And then 12 weeks for all other family and friends.

I also told my best friend already, but we are waiting until we confirm a heartbeat at the ultrasound next week before telling anyone else. I hope to have a second ultrasound the day before Thanksgiving, because we plan to tell immediate family (parents and siblings) on Thanksgiving - assuming I'll be 8 weeks again then. 

inthewoods23

Having been dealing with IF (and now after a loss) we've always wanted to wait since we weren't telling anyone about doing IUIs and IVF. No one until recently actually knew we had miscarried last year because we were going to wait. I would have been around 12 weeks at Thanksgiving. I'm torn now because I'll only be 11 weeks at Christmas but would love to make it a Christmas gift for everyone! Ugh. I'll have to see what DH is comfortable with. We will have an appointment with the OB on the 20th so we could see that everything looks good then and then go forward with wrapping the "gift".

There's no universal right time to announce. My sister always did hers around 6 weeks I think. I'm pretty sure my cousin and his wife once told my aunt and uncle what I felt was the literal day they got a positive pregnancy test, which I find pretty tacky but they're fertile AF and don't even know what struggling to conceive even is 🙄

Sorry if I'm ever super salty with my comments. Like I can't with the people who came and went through the TTGP board here crying in the IF thread of all places that they're infertile after only 3 cycles. However I do totally get that everyone's experiences are different and taking 2-3 cycles for the first kid and then going over 6+ months for the second can be hard because it's a new feeling and territory to be in.

inthewoods23

Does anyone know if honey from a personal beehive is safe to eat? My MIL has a colony of bees and has collected a boat load of honey. I've read you shouldn't have unpasteurized honey which sounds like that's what my MIL's honey would be. Do you think it's okay for me to keep eating it? We're keeping this pregnancy a secret for another 2 months so I can't exactly explain to her why I want to know if her honey is considered unpasteurized or not.

runnergirl2018

@inthewoods23 So they ended up not doing the US because of how early things are, so best guess is the scheduling person made an error when I told them my LMP.  Doc prescribed progesterone as a precaution due to my history and doing HCG repeat labs until my levels are at a certain number and then I'll go back in for US, which sounds more like what I expected from the appointment.  

skilouise

For those that have done IVF/FET, has the estradiol/ progesterone combo caused your heart rate to increase? 

My pulse is always a little higher than average (low 80s resting), but within a few days of starting progesterone/ estradiol after my ER, my resting pulse has been mid to high 90s, and it shoots into the 100s with very little provocation.  Even in the middle of the night it's crazy high. 

I was evaluated for OHSS the day before my ET and was fine.  The RE doesn't think it's the meds, despite this exact same thing happening when I started taking the same meds during a FET cycle in the summer. However, her response when I asked what else could be causing it was basically "*shrug* IDK, have you been stressed?"

Getting very tired of feeling like I'm in a constant fight- or- flight state. It's hard to have a restful night of sleep with my HR in the 90s.

twentythree19

@inthewoods23 hugs! I have a family member dealing with IF. I thought I had an idea of what IF was like and what IVF entailed before their journey, but I found out pretty quickly how ignorant I really was. 

As for the honey…It can be done at home, but would require boiling it and re-jarring it. If you aren’t sure, maybe ask and say you don’t want to accidentally share with a friend/coworker/etc who is pregnant? 

inthewoods23

@twentythree19 I might play it off as I didn't know there was a difference. I thought all honey was raw 🤷‍♀️ 


@BumpAdmin can we also get this thread stickied?

rosegoldg

We just had our best friends over and were planning on telling them but were a bit nervous as they’ve been trying for longer than we have. 10 minutes after they came through the door she let slip that she was pregnant and then we shared our news, I’m still in shock 😂 if everything works out as it’s supposed to I’ll be having a baby with one of my best friends and due only 3 days apart!

twentythree19

@rosegoldg that is soooo exciting! I’ve got some folks in my life who are trying too. They are doing an ET before the month is out and I’m really hoping it works! It would be such a bonus for us to have babies close together!  

binxybaby

@rosegoldg That's the best! I was due three days after my friend. It was nice having a bump buddy!

binxybaby

Anyone considering finding out gender early? I did the Natera test last time around and just ordered the Sneak Peek test for this kiddo. I like to know early.....so I can shop for ALL THE THINGS.

inthewoods23

@rosegoldg wow only 3 days! I have a friend due in late March/early April with her 3rd and I'm sure she will be very surprised when I tell her I'm due about 2.5 months later. I was technically supposed to be TTA while going through some testing with a reproductive immunologist but turns out an endometrial biopsy provides the same effect as an endometrial scratch and fixed my implantation problem. Whoops lol. It'll be fun to have kids close in age!

sunshineandlemons

@binxybaby I’m doing Sneak Peek! I did it with my second daughter and it was correct. I’m like you, I’m a planner and love to shop. 

xvividash

@binxybaby
@sunshineandlemons

Same! I used Sneak Peek for my first and it was right, so I definitely want to use it again. I can’t wait to find out. 😆

runnergirl2018

@binxybaby we do the free cell test (nipt) at 9/10 weeks and plan to again to find out potential issues as well as sex of baby 

rosegoldg

@binxybaby @inthewoods23 @twentythree19 it’ll be amazing I just can’t believe it, it’s both our first as well. You guys are making me so hyped, insane that we’ve been upgraded from best friends to bridesmaids to now bump buddies!

rosegoldg

@binxybaby we’re planning on doing sneak peek as soon as we can, I feel like I just need to be as prepared as possible!

tuxielove93

We always end up finding out at the 12 week ultrasound because our boys are showers 🤣🤣🤣 

L1C4gal

We found out the sex with our daughter but are going Team Green this time. We both want to, but it'll be a reeeeally hard wait (for me at least)!