The Great Big Question Thread

inthewoods23

@thegeekymom covid sucked for me to get, but at the same time same I think I can use it as an excuse until we're ready to announce. Feeling tired? Still not 100% after covid. Very/not hungry? Must be covid haha.

Thankfully most of my feeling like garbage is right away in the morning andin the late evening when they're not around

runnergirl2018

@thegeekymom @bumblebee0210 Yes!  I think we were maybe considering sharing with close family after my ultrasound last week, but even though it looked decent (i cried because of how much better things seemed than with my MMC in Aug) the way the OB talked about it left me feeling a little uneasy still.  we'll be with my hubby's parents and grandparents for thanksgiving and a little worried that someone might notice that I feel like garbage and we also haven't seen the grandparents since we lost the last pregnancy and I guarantee they'll say something.  Hubby is hesistant to share yet and I'm feeling really mixed and erring on the side of not sharing.  we are also having a birthday party for my son next weekend, so i'm hoping I somehow pull it all off, at least until we know a little more

stardustskies

@thegeekymom Well apparently my husband's whole side of the family knows because he told his dad, who told his wife, who has a big mouth and told everyone. So. I didn't even get to tell them and I'm kinda bummed. Edit- and I'm only 5 weeks so I really just feel robbed.

inthewoods23

@stardustskies oh man! Big mouths are exactly why we will be telling DH's parents last. Back when we had gotten engaged my MIL had posted a vague "we've got big news in the family!" FB post and it's like what the heck, DH and I weren't even back home from out dinner yet. Even my parents wondered what took my so long to call them and tell them. DH proposed at a very specific time of day hence the impatience waiting for my call.

MIL isn't on FB anymore so I won't have to worry about her blabbing early but seriously, what is wrong with enjoying our own private news for ourselves for a while before everyone knows?

courtneyqdk

@runnergirl2018 my son's bday is in two weeks and I know we won't be able to hide it so we're planning on telling everyone then. It's immediate family only due to bad covid numbers in our area anyway, so we're comfortable with it even though it is early. It's so hard to hide for me as I normally love all types of food and am suddenly incredibly picky and living on bland foods these days. The tricky part will be keeping it from my son - we feel very strongly about not telling him until we're in 2nd trimester for sure. I hate keeping secrets! 

@stardustskies that sucks!! I'm so sorry you didn't get to tell people yourself - I would be so upset

inthewoods23

Anybody have some good yoga YouTubers that specialize or have lots of yoga videos for pregnancy? I currently do Yoga with Adriene every day but I know at some point I'll need to modify poses if I continue her videos.

Or does anyone have a good resource of the poses that need to be modified and how to as your bump grows?

quelinda99

@bumblebee0210 this is exactly how I feel. I’m not ready to tell people although I think my MIL probably suspects bc i have been tired and not drinking (and we love wine!) but she is sweet and will wait for us to say even if she suspects, especially since we had a loss. But what’s really holding me back is just knowing I won’t be able to work up any level of enthusiasm and it’ll make people uncomfortable but the reality is we’re not getting too excited. It’s just a defense mechanism. But we aren’t ready for that. And I don’t get an US for another 3 weeks ugh 

sjb2215

@inthewoods23 Ive done a couple YouTube ones in the past, I think the trainer's name was Kristin McGee. Later on, poses where you're lying on your back will have to be modified and some core ones can be modified to focus more on pelvic floor strength.

stardustskies

@inthewoods23 I love yoga with Adrienne! There aren't as many, but I just type pregnancy yoga in the search bar and roll the dice on what comes up.

LJMoon6

I’m also not really looking forward to Thanksgiving. DS is right around the age where people start asking if we’re going to try for a second. Some people know we are trying and have been going through fertility treatment, but I’m no good at lying. I have a terrible poker face lol.

Omg @inthewoods23 Your comment about your MIL and FB reminded me of what my MIL did when DS was born. We made sure to tell everyone specifically not to post anything about the birth until we had had the time to do it first. Like, it’s our news to share. Not yours. Don’t steal our thunder. Whelp. She went and posted right away that she’s a grandma and it’s a boy and blah blah blah. I still can’t believe she did it. And when we confronted her she was all like, “oh I thought you just meant don’t post pictures…” FFS. The biggest kicker is, her sister (MH’s aunt) did the same thing when her son had a baby and got chewed out. We all knew about it and talked about it too. Like, “don’t do what Linda did.” But no. She did. I’m not a huge fan.

edit: typos

inthewoods23

@LJMoon6 ugh f*ck those people. Not. Your. News. To. Share! Plain and simple

L1C4gal

@inthewoods23 @LJMoon6 UGH. What is with people? And it seems like it’s mostly the older generations. My uncle posted about both our engagement and DD’s birth on Facebook before we even had a chance to. I love him, but come on!

quelinda99

@LJMoon6 ugh that would drive me nuts! So annoying! I recently saw a women on FB basically live updating her daughters labor - one statue was giving cm dilated and another said “she is pushing now!!! (Baby’s name) will be here soon!!” I would have just about died if it was my mom. 

shaomao1243

I did something like that. I ordered a onesie that said "Future Machinist" (husband's hobby) after getting off birth control and then gave it to him after the test came back positive.

courtneyqdk

@LJMoon6 reminds me of when my son was born! Apparently my husband's stepmom shared something!!! No idea if it was a post or photo or what. I didn't see it I was still full of morphine and recovering from a terrible birth so I hadn't logged on at all - but apparently our in-laws saw it and were horrified for us and told her to take it down. I did get a big long apology text from her but I was so confused because I had never seen it in the first place 🤷‍♀️ social media and our parents generation is just a recipe for disaster!!! Makes me want to delete all of my accounts sometimes. These things should be common sense though, really! Like you don't just steal someone's birth announcement 🤦‍♀️ some people are unbelievable! 

jellie603

Has anyone been successful with breastfeeding with nipple piercings still in?? Do they make those flexible pregnancy bars like they do for bellybutton rings? I wasn't successful with breastfeed with my first and in the last 5 years I have since gotten my nipples pierced - I really don't want them to close and have to get them redone, but will if I need to. 

binxybaby

@jellie603 No clue, but I'd assume it would be a choking hazard, right? 

skilouise

@LJMoon6 I have a similar story. My dad announced the birth of DS on Facebook before DH or I had a chance. The only silver lining was that he tagged me, so I got the notification right away. I hadn't slept in 30+ hours at that point and had zero filter. My immediate response was "what the f%&! is wrong with you, why would you do that, take that down right now." All told the post was only up for maybe 60-90 seconds.  But seriously, wtf?

He and my grandmother also stayed at the hospital for *four hours* to visit, when I was so desperately exhausted and just wanted to sleep. I'm kind of hoping my local hospital is still restricting access for COVID reasons when this kid is born. Either way, we'll definitely be having some family chats about boundaries this time around. 

caremarie8

(I am writing my question elsewhere) :)

inthewoods23

@caremarie8 ummm why would you do that? This is literally the thread to ask questions.

If you read the ***read this first*** thread pinned at the top you would know board organization requests that you don't create a one-off thread because it just clutters up the board with the same threads over and over because people don't take the time to see if their question has been asked here in this thread before.

jellie603

@binxybaby yes it could be, potentially. I know with the metal bars, it takes like extreme hand-eye coordination and some elbow grease to get it off - those have the little balls on the end. I think the flexi-bars don't have the little balls. I wonder if the flexi bars slip off easier and I can just slip on/off when feeding. IDK haha. I am just trying to plan ahead in hopes that I am successful on my BF journey this time.

stardustskies

@jellie603 I don't have any experience with nipple rings but I believe they make silicone ones which may be ok. I would just be worried about nipple confusion with a newborn. Maybe start without them and put them back in once a routine in established?

jellie603

@stardustskies yes I think that is a good idea and that will probably be my plan. Hopefully a routine establishes itself quickly and it becomes clear what will work and what wont!

inthewoods23

Has anyone had an US report mention an SCH but the US tech doesn't say anything about it? I guess... Do they not say anything if you're not having issues with spotting or bleeding?

tuxielove93

@inthewoods23 If I understand it correctly, techs aren’t allowed to say anything about anything. It isn’t their job to diagnose, just to scan. So they can’t tell you if they see something off because if they’re wrong, they are the wrong person to hold liable basically? 

sunshineandlemons

@inthewoods23, the way @tuxielove93 explained it is how my OB practice does it. It really stinks to have to wait when the appointment with the dr isn’t right away. Hope you don’t have to wait too long!

thegeekymom

@inthewoods23 Ultrasound techs are not allowed to say much at all. Ultrasounds have to be done by the tech, then reviewed by their superior (can't remember what they're called, but it's their job to read it), then  they finally send it to the doctor. It's kind of crazy, like last time I had an ultrasound appointment an hour before a doctor appointment and the doctor didn't even get a chance to look at the ultrasound before the appointment. If you're lucky they'll kind of tell you what they're doing at some parts, but some techs will be completely silent the whole time which just feels eerie. At my 24 week scan last time they literally didn't say anything for the first 20 minutes and we had no idea what they were doing or what we were looking at, they were just taking pictures of my uterus and ovaries and all of that stuff and then they got to the baby and then they talked about everything. 

thegeekymom

I just realized that this could be my first actual pregnancy reveal. With my 1st I had a SCH and I told my mom because everything was scary and we didn't know what was happening, she then told literally everyone. I was devastated. With my second it was covid, so most people found out through text messages. 😂 I think I'm going to give my sister an envelope on Christmas that says "Maybe this one will like you" and include the ultrasound pictures. My 7 month old is a total sheltered covid baby and cries when anyone else holds her and my sister takes it very personally. This baby is the happiest baby ever, but when we have other people around it's a constant meltdown. 

inthewoods23

@tuxielove93 @sunshineandlemons @thegeekymom yeah I know they're not supposed to say anything. She did tell me it looked like I ovulated from my left side though which I guess is just a fun fact than anything related to the pregnancy as it stands.

My OB hasn't followed up with me about it. My RI did and wants me to do an IVIG infusion asap for it (not sure exactly how it helps??)

thegeekymom

@inthewoods23 I was reading the weird things about gender possibilities, and saw that left side ovulation is most likely girl, while right side is more likely a boy. I call BS, all of my babies have been on my right side and I'm cursed to have all girls. 😂

inthewoods23

@thegeekymom that makes no sense considering it's the husband that provides the X or Y chromosome! Total BS.

jamidine

Is anyone else struggling with the pregnancy feeling “real”?  I know it’s still so early (only about 5 weeks for me), but I’m this total state of disbelief. I can’t even explain it. 

I’ve cut down on the caffeine which has been extremely difficult, but at least this shows I know I’m pregnant. I don’t drink or smoke at all, even when not pregnant, so besides the coffee it’s been business as usual around here.  

Anyone else in this boat?  

zinnia19

@jamidine Yes, totally! I'm at 6 weeks and I have the same feeling. I do have some mild symptoms (frequent hunger, boobs getting bigger, constipation) but other than that feel pretty normal! Keeping it a secret from people also makes it feel not-so-real. Yesterday I told my close friend and also my therapist so that helped the feeling. But I don't think it's really going to sink in until my first appt in a few weeks where we get our 8 week ultrasound done. I can't wait for that appointment, I want to make sure everything is going ok with the little one. 

caremarie8

@inthewoods23  Yes, my apologies, this is my first time using this platform. I had posted here originally but then thought it easier to create a new post. I was unable to delete the question, so I replaced the text so that the question was not asked in two separate places. I understand now that I was initially correct in posting here. 

tsh2021

I’ve been seeing a lot of ads for maternity clothes. I figured I’d take advantage of some Black Friday sales. But it seems they are all designed for smaller framed women. Anyone here know of good brands for curvier women? 5’6 ~190lbs. 

courtneyqdk

@tsh2021 I am your exact size. I did start out last pregnancy a little smaller, but I found Old Navy was good for staples. I hate paying too much for clothes that I am only going to be wearing for such a short amount of time! This time I am finding it harder to find anything online - the biggest Maternity chain in Canada has closed unfortunately. Does anyone know where to get work clothes? I have changed jobs and it is a little more formal dress code than my last pregnancy. Also opposite seasons means I don't have the right sized items for the right time of year. I have huge winter stuff and smaller summer stuff - isn't going to work this time around!

inthewoods23

How much concern or care should I have with an SCH? My US report stated I have one but my OB's office didn't mention it and my RI specialist did when they got the report forwarded to them. Is it generally not something to worry about unless I'm bleeding?

tsh2021

@courtneyqdk I also hate the idea of spending a fortune on clothing I will wear for such a. Short amount of time. Pink Blush looks like they might have some cute options at reasonable prices. Also has a Black Friday sale. 

courtneyqdk

@tsh2021 part of me wants to buy all of the things now because of Black Friday prices, but then there's a little voice telling me it's still too early and wait to finish first trimester before buying too much, I can likely survive with the items from my previous pregnancy until then. I'm only 6 weeks but today wearing maternity jeans for the first time and they are just so much more comfortable! I also feel like I'm already a little round - I realize it is probably just bloating - but I'm thinking I will have to get creative with flowy clothes to keep it covered for the whole 12 weeks. Thank goodness it's winter and I can layer everything!

runnergirl2018

@inthewoods23 i have an SCH too. The US tech said nothing besides to tell me the heart beat and that it was normal for where I was. Then the OB brought it up and I was a little surprised. He didn’t even call it an SCH but a “little blood pocket” , probably to avoid freaking me out. He did mention it though and scheduled a follow up US in 2 weeks (which is one week away now) to check on it and make sure baby is still growing well. I would follow up with them about it