The Great Big Question Thread

runnergirl2018

@thegeekymom where are you located? That seems nuts that they wouldn’t do an US at your first appt.  Especially because of a risk of missed miscarriage and to confirm due date. 

feather_heather

@inthewoods23 - Oh no! How is he feeling? How are you feeling? I would make sure he isolates in a bedroom and when he needs to come out that he wears an N95 mask. 

stardustskies

@thegeekymom I agree with above poster that's super weird. I used to work as an MA in an OBGYN and we always scheduled an ultrasound around 8 weeks just to confirm dates and make sure it's a viable pregnancy. Especially with your history of missed miscarriage.. I think you should send your doctor a message and ask for an ultrasound.

inthewoods23

@feather_heather he's doing a bit better today. Doesn't look like it lol but I'll take his word for it. There's no point in isolating ourselves because I did get a covid test on Saturday and it came back positive. I have been, for the most part, staying away from him when we're both in the living room and still doing separate beds. I spent the whole weekend just laying on the couch and sleeping. I woke up today feeling a lot better. Just dealing with tiredness and a congested and/or runny nose. Not much of an appetite going on either.

I'm seriously considering not attending thanksgiving with his unvaccinated family with the excuse that I just started on an immunosuppressant drug and the last thing I need is to get covid again. That's going to be an awkward conversation....

quelinda99

@inthewoods23 ugh I am so sorry you and your husband both have covid! That's horrible! I hope you are both able to take some time to rest and recover. Hopefully since you are vaccinated it won't be too terrible!

I would definitely be considering my options re: going to see unvaccinated family for Thanksgiving. It's hard to be in that position for sure.

feather_heather

@inthewoods23 - ugh I'm so sorry! I hope you feel better soon and that you don't develop any other/worse symptoms! Yeah, sounds like you'll need to have a serious conversation with him after this about visiting his side of the family for the remainder of your pregnancy (and when the baby arrives no less)! 

bearsandbeets7

@inthewoods23 I’m sorry you and your husband have covid! I hope your symptoms stay mild! Definitely worth an awkward conversation now though, hopefully it will help set a standard for the rest of the pregnancy and when the babe arrives. 

runnergirl2018

@inthewoods23
so glad your symptoms have been mild and hope you are feeling better soon! It’s such a tough situation with family who make different choices than you and doing what you can to take care of yourself 

jellie603

Can someone remind me of some of the obscure things that you "cannot" eat? Besides the deli meat/sushi/alcohol etc. - was bacon on this list haha?? I remember there were some herbs/spices on the restricted list. 
Also - do I need to be watching for things in my skin care? Do I need to stop eye cream and pore minimizer etc.?

inthewoods23

@jellie603 I'm pretty sure bacon is fine. It just needs to be cooked! I think smoked meats/fish are supposed to be warmed up to kill any potential bacteria. Which wait... am I saying I can't have bacon bits???? Dammit lol. Ugh. Man my day just keeps getting worse.

tuxielove93

@jellie603 Salad bars are off because of listeria contamination. Basically any cold bar. Apparently bagged salads too, but I personally didn’t follow that one. 

High in mercury fish (swordfish, obscure large ones) 
unpasteurized cheese/milk/dairy , which I believe extends to soft cheeses too (forgive me, lactose intolerant so I don’t actually eat the stuff anyways ) 

jellie603

@inthewoods23 wait - are bacon bits "raw" bacon?? That can't be haha!
@tuxielove93 ah yes, listeria. I remember that now. I don't think I followed the bagged lettuce rule last time either. One of my main concerns is blue cheese because I put that shit on everything! 

I might call my OB about the skin care one because I'll be using those tonight haha!

inthewoods23

@jellie603 I don't know!! I just know they're not very crunchy which made me think they're not actually cooked. I'd run to the kitchen if I wasn't in a work meeting right now lol. Outside the high mercury fish, most of the stuff with food is just to minimize the risk of food borne illness right? I feel like plenty of pregnant women have probably had deli meats and not had problems.

Skincare I know the big things are avoiding retinol/vitamin A serums and salicylic acid. I think benzoyl peroxide is also supposed to be avoided but that might be safer than the salicylic acid.

My understanding of the whole retinol thing is that it's bad when it's taken orally so they just assume that topically through the skin would be bad too.

stardustskies

@jellie603 As long as the blue cheese is pasteurized, you're fine. I love soft cheeses and ate them throughout my last pregnancy. Most cheeses in the United States that you can buy in the grocery store are pasteurized. 

feather_heather

@jellie603 - This website is pretty helpful in determining if your skincare is pregnancy safe: https://www.15minutebeauty.com/pregnancy-skin-care-guide. Although, I disagree that all sunless tanners are unsafe. Most OBs will say there is little to no concerns with any of them (as long as it is not a spray tan - you don't want to inhale to fumes/mist). I used a natural self tanner called "Beauty by Earth" when I was pregnant last time. 

howardme

@jellie603 Ovia pregnancy app has a nice feature where you can look up food and meds to see what is and isn’t pregnancy safe. 

jellie603

@inthewoods23 I'll let it slide this time 😂. But yes, I think that is the main concern. Like you can eat the deli meat as long as you microwave it first but IMO.... 🤮. Oh man I think there is definitely retinol in my skin care and definitely salicylic acid. 
@feather_heather oh awesome thank you so much! I'm going to look at this right now.
@howardme oh that is neat, thank you! I didn't even know that existed.

courtneyqdk

@inthewoods23 I didn't think about skincare for some reason! I believe my moisturizer has retinol so I am going to look into switching that out right away. So many things to think about!

@feather_heather thanks for theat website. Very helpful! 

sjb2215

@inthewoods23 glad you're feeling a little better but so sorry you're dealing with this!

Second the ovia app for checking various pregnancy safe things!

skilouise

@tuxielove93 The soft cheese restriction only applies to unpasteurized soft cheeses.  Most soft cheese sold in the US is pasteurized and safe for pregnancy. Queso Blanco and Queso Fresco are a particularly high listeria risk though, so I avoid them entirely unless I'm at home and can nuke the hell out of the queso dip before I eat it lol. 

runnergirl2018

I hadn’t heard the bagged salad thing before but makes sense. I ate bagged salad for lunch daily my first pregnancy 🤣🤣 
in addition to the above Lists - a lot of fresh juice from a juice bar is also considered unsafe due to bacteria risk 

jellie603

@runnergirl2018 yes! I remember that from my first - I wanted to get one of those Naked Juices one time at work because chewing food was not happening that day. And I read the ingredients and like 1/3 of them were a no-go!

courtneyqdk

Can I just say I am super helpful for this thread! I am a STM so I felt like I remembered everything and what to avoid and such. I was wrong - looking into some of my skincare products and such I had no idea I had to make some changes. I had switched from a simple skincare routine to more "anti-aging" products because having my son aged me LOL! so I have to switch back to the basics. Thank you everyone for all of the helpful websites and apps

runnergirl2018

@jellie603 i could be wrong, but i think a lot of store bought juices are treated with heat and are safe, but not like a freshly pressed juice.  I defintely drank some store bought cold pressed and naked juices in my first pregnancy too because i just couldn't tolerate solid foods.  I think sometimes it's about weighing the pros and cons and just doing your best without stressing too much!

runnergirl2018

Has anyone done the Sneak Peek test?  anxious about finding out the sex of our little one.  I will have NIPT at 10 weeks anyways, so its really just finding out 3ish weeks before hand.  it know it says its 99.1% accurate.  Anyone have good/bad experiences or know anyone who has?

sunshineandlemons

@runnergirl2018 We’re doing sneak peek. We did it with our second daughter and it was correct. Though, I’ve said that I would only 100% trust it if it were a girl. A boy, I wouldn’t believe until we had NIPT or anatomy scan.

thegeekymom

I got an early ultrasound appointment, the nurse scheduled me for December 1st. I think I might have to go alone though, so that'll be weird. (No childcare on a random Wednesday, the only option we would have is my MIL and she's an hour away from the hospital and I really don't want to tell her that in pregnant.) I'll be 8+3, so I should feel a lot better after that as long as everything looks good. I also was just prescribed progesterone so I'll start taking that tonight. I'm scared that it's going to make me even more nauseous. 

runnergirl2018

@thegeekymom i've been on progesterone suppositories for almost 2 weeks now and no nausea from them!


Question - I've been craving Vitamin Water lately (switched to Zero so i'm not drinking tons of sugar) and curious if it could be helping me not have much nausea since it has B6 in it.  anyone else drink this and notice if it did/didn't help with your nausea? when my nausea has hit before, the last thing i want to do is take one more pill 

tuxielove93

@runnergirl2018 Not vitamin water, but I’ve been sucking on these morning sickness drops from Target that have B6 and ginger and it’s helping A TON. B6 is supposed to help with nausea. These aren’t a pill, they’re like a hard candy. I hate swallowing pills too so these are great 

tsh2021

@runnergirl2018 @sunshineandlemons I ordered the sneak peek kit today. Excited to see how it goes. 

runnergirl2018

@tsh2021 i ended up ordering it and it shoudl come today, even though I know it might not be accurate if it says boy 

@tuxielove93 I just got some of those too! I haven't had much nausea yet so i haven't tried them but glad to hear they are helping!

KayBeeW

Glad to hear someone else does what I do. I wait until 6 or 6 1/2 months to tell people.

KayBeeW

@AnonnAni I tell my husband right away but the we wait until we are 6 or 6 1/2 months before telling others. 

crybabies

Does anyone have any good/safe remedies for insomnia? I’m taking magnesium but it’s not really helping.

stardustskies

@crybabies Unisom for sure

stardustskies

I ordered the Sneak Peek kit (original- with the lancet, not the Snap version). For those who have done it before, has it been accurate? I'm reading mixed reviews so I'd love to hear your experiences. 😊

runnergirl2018

@stardustskies well I’m doing mine next week and then have an nipt 3 weeks later so I can let you know then 🤣

thegeekymom

@runnergirl2018 I've been drinking Body Armor and between that and my prenatal I'm getting a ton of B6. I don't think it helps though, still nauseous. 

thegeekymom

Anyone else having the hardest time keeping it a secret? Im dreading going to Thanksgiving because hiding how sick I feel is so hard and my MIL is staying with us from Friday-Sunday. Also, going to the neighbors for football games every week and not drinking has everyone extremely confused. My husband is a beer salesman, I always have a few beers while watching the game. At this point I think they're assuming something is definitely up. I'll probably tell the neighbors if next week's ultrasound looks good, because I'm getting annoyed and we're all really close anyway. I was really hoping to sneak the ultrasound in before Thanksgiving in case anyone figures it out. I hate doing the whole, "yep I'm pregnant, but it's early and with our history who knows?" conversation, and I'm a horrible liar when confronted. 

bumblebee0210

@thegeekymom. I am hating keeping the secret. We have a history of loss too, and I have been keeping my whole 6-month saga of fertility treatments secret from my parents, and now that I'm pregnant, even my friends who knew I was doing IVF don't know that we actually transferred and that it worked. I am also a terrible liar, and we have been pretty open about early pregnancies in the past, but I agree I am not like, *excited* in the way that people want you to be when you tell them you're pregnant, which makes me not want to have the conversation. It's no fun to be like "yes I am pregnant and I want to have a baby but this is hard and might not work and I have a lot of complicated feelings about it". And it is *super* no fun to then have to tell everyone you previously told you were pregnant that you, in fact, miscarried. I think I will tell my mom when she comes out for Thanksgiving, even though it will still be super early (less than 6w) because if I do miscarry again, I think I will want her support.