Following the conversation about dogs, does any STM (or more) have advice about how to safely allow dogs to adjust to the new life with a baby? Our two huskies do well around children and babies already. One wants to sniff and be right next to baby, while other completely ignores. We are starting with our trainer again, but welcome any advice about how to make the transition safe and comfortable for all involved.
@mama_of_two_huskies for your situation, it sounds like you don’t really have a lot to worry about. If you really want for gradual introductions, you can start by having your pups in a kennel to provide a safe boundary. It doesn’t sound like you need the level of structure we did for our dog.
our trainer also recommended bringing home a dirty diaper and receiving blanket the baby had used but, tbh, our dog gave zero F’s about that and it didn’t have any impact on how the intro went. We were also encouraged to get a baby doll that cries and such so he’s used to us holding something/giving attention to someone else. Again, he didn’t really care about that.
I also suggest bringing home the first hat that was put on baby after delivery, the one that gets more goopy before they change it out for a clean one later one! Bring all the smells into the house before baby.
We have a rescue pit that my husband has had since she was 8 weeks old. She is very protective of us and very exuberant in general, but a super sweet dog. Thankfully she is 9 now, so she is finally calming down. We just slowly gave her more freedom around the baby as she seemed comfortable, she has always been tolerant of other kids/babies when they have come around. We had some issues when DD started to move, that freaked the dog out at first. But once she got used to it, it wasn’t an issue. Now she licks DD’s face constantly and is never far from her. When she has had enough, she has two spots in our house that we don’t let DD go near so she can escape for a bit.
@beckylookatherbump +1 for in home. DD has been there since 5 months and she has become part of our family. She was a referral from friend of a friend, so I’d ask around in the moms group. But I just asked the same questions I would from a center. Big things were CPR certified, licensed in the state, and communication policy. We interviewed at another place and I just didn’t get a good vibe from them (even though our friends used them and liked them). When we first met with our provider, she had us come on a weekend so we could meet her whole family, because they all come and go throughout the day (she has teenage/college aged kids and her husband works from home some) and I thought that was great. When it was time to send DD, I really struggled, she she had me come by with DD and just say hi so I could get used to it. Now I can’t imagine not having her in our lives. We are looking at new houses and one of the main reasons to stay close by is so our kids can continue to go to her.
@beckylookatherbump also, whatever state you live in likely has an agency that licenses child care providers/facilities. Go to their website to look up the providers you are interested and make sure they are 1. Licensed, and 2. What (if any) compliance history do they have? Most states make this easily searchable and its public information. A lot of the common issues are things most people don’t care too much about, like they did a site visit and found a lid wasn’t properly secured to the trash can, etc. But sometimes there are more serious things, like issues with supervision or injuries. Some states even have the provider’s complaint history public so you can see what complaints have been called in and whether they were founded or unfounded.
@mehugg I had one last time and I didn't love it. Maybe I was using it wrong or something. Since I already had maternity jeans from the last pregnancy, I am just wearing those instead of trying it again. That being said I feel like there were tons of people who like them.
@mehugg I had one to use PP to help my ute shrink a little faster but it was so stiff and uncomfortable I didn't ever wear it. I don't know anything about the ones for use while you're pregnant but (and maybe I'm super wrong here) it always seemed like a waste to me. You'll end up in maternity pants anyway. Might as well just go ahead and bite the bullet vs using one of those as a stopgap.
@mehugg I love my BellaBand. I’m not sure about the one @blaf322 is talking about - that sounds more like a belly binder. I use mine starting towards the end of the first tri so I can keep wearing my normal pants unbuttoned. I hate maternity pants and never wore them at all, so did the bellaBand that way for a long time, then just switched to normal leggings and long tunics or dresses. I also generally come to hate all maternity clothes I’ve worn (wearing them all the time gets old, and they’re usually not very good quality). So extending the wearability of my normal clothes is really nice.
@mehugg I have one and don’t love it. It rolls all the time and doesn’t stay in place. I used it more PP to smooth my belly if I felt lumpy in a shirt.
Thanks so much for the tips! Super helpful- will look into finding a good trainer. Unfortunately that one you mentioned isn’t in our area. We tried getting a trainer when we first moved to NYC which ended up being such a scam- basically charged us $600 for a new leash and common sense tips we already knew, and then asked us to pay for his parking too but I’m sure there must be good ones out there! All sounds great re: structured, gradual introduction.
@mehugg I had some type of a band that goes over your pants maybe as a transition like @Pascal86 mentioned. Then I used it around my belly so my belly button didn’t stick out as much lol
@randomname_generator We have two dogs; the older one has been semi-problematic. We half joke that he has dog dementia, but something changed and he mellowed out while also seemingly becoming much less aware of what’s happening, so idk. That wasn’t anything we did. But we were having issues with dominance and specifically his asserting that a certain part of the couch belonged to him. When he wasn’t allowed into that spot, things improved. Identifying what was triggering the problems and figuring out how to address that was really helpful for us.
But I highly recommend getting a trainer involved and doing so now to avoid any future problems as best you can. Training can do a lot, though I do believe there are some truly aggressive dogs out there that can’t just be trained out of it. It sounds like you’ve found ways to work with your dog so far, so I’m assuming things can go well in the future!
2/13 Blighted ovum, D&C -- 6/13 MC -- 8/14 DD born -- 3/17 MC -- 9/18 DD2 born Expecting again -- EDD 7/27/20
@mehugg I haven’t used a real one, but I’ve used cut off camis (old ones) to fake one of those bands and really liked being able to keep wearing my normal pants for a while. It looks like a layered shirt under whatever else I’m wearing but covers the unbuttoned waistband (usually with a hair tie holding it closed.)
I did wear maternity pants, but especially early on the bands never fit right, or they were weirdly saggy, or I just wanted to wear my “normal” clothes to keep up the appearance that I wasn’t pregnant before we announced. I’ll use them again, although I haven’t needed to yet.
2/13 Blighted ovum, D&C -- 6/13 MC -- 8/14 DD born -- 3/17 MC -- 9/18 DD2 born Expecting again -- EDD 7/27/20
Has anyone attended birth classes? Did you find them helpful or a waste of time? I have heard mixed reviews and am wondering if it’s worth going *way* out of my way to attend one - I live in a small town in the middle of Wyoming. I’m a FTM and pretty nervous about childbirth (wanting as natural an experience as possible) and am wondering what others’ experiences were with previous births/classes. Along those lines, anyone hard core for the epidural or against it? I really want to try to go without. *TW* I have had two natural mc - one being really terribly painful - and I know there’s no comparison, but the experience made me wonder how much more pain my body could feel.
@angemtn I took birth classes during my first two pregnancies, and a breastfeeding class during my last one. (Last baby was the only one I BF) I don't know that I really learned much from the birth classed that I didnt know from reading up on already, except that it was held at the hospital I delivered at and therefore was specific to what was available at that hospital. Different pain management is available in different hospitals, and I didn't realize that before then. (But also, this was almost 15 years ago, and I was 17 years old.) It is nice to go and have pretty much every question you have answered by someone who is knowledgeable and cut put your mind at ease. I dont know if we will take a class this time or not, this will be my DH's first child, so he may want to.
And for the epidural.. I went into my first labor thinking I would just try to go without, but if it got to where it was more than I felt capable of handling, I would ask for the epidural. I did fine for the first 10 hours or so, but after my water broke, the contractions were way more intense. (Went from a 6 to a delivering in about two hours) I got an epidural about 45 minutes after my water broke. That has been my go to now. Once my water breaks I have delivered in less than 2 hours, and I always request an epidural when the dr breaks my water now. **Also, my water has never broken on its own, it has always been done by the doctor.
@angemtn I went to a short "class" at my OBs office that explained when to call them, timing contractions, what some of the terms mean etc. I kind of knew how the whole birthing process was going to go down. It wasn't anything hardcore and I kind of felt like it was helpful. I know others who did multi-week classes and enjoyed them.
Other than that, I asked my BMB a lot of questions and read up a little. I'm a wimp and am firmly on team Epidural.
@angemtn I did the birthing class at the hospital where I was going to deliver, and it was fine. I was like 90 percent sure I was going to have an epidural though. I would say if you’re set on avoiding the epidural it would be worth your while to take something related to “natural” childbirth (hate that term but it’s what is used) because I think it would be good to be prepared with different non-medication pain management techniques. But I’m sure this day in age there are online resources available. I also read a zillion birth stories because I wanted any and all information. Are you planning to deliver at a hospital or a birth center? I’m sure if there are birth centers in your general area they have resources, I know the one near me does, and you don’t have to be delivering there to take classes.
@angemtn as a labor nurse it is nice to have patients that have taken classes to help them be informed of options and things that may happen. (And reading as many birth stories as possible!) Especially if you’re planning on a natural birth it can be super helpful to take classes that deal with natural births to help achieve that goal. I’ve delivered hundreds and hundreds of babies but still plan on taking classes myself. 😅
@angemtn I took a birthing class with my first. I agree with all the others said about it not giving any huge facts you didn’t already know but being helpful to be able to see and ask allll the things. It put my mind at ease to feel like I was fully informed. Also, given that you’re trying to go unmedicated/epidural free, I would recommend taking one specifically so you can discuss pain management techniques.
@angemtn if you’re planning to avoid the epidural maybe look into hiring a doula. I found that soooo helpful with my last birth. I didn’t quite make it, after 12 hours on pitocin the pain became too much, but I never would have lasted that long without the epidural if not for my doula. I found that more helpful than any classes, but part of their job is also to educate you before birth.
We took childbirth classes (Birth Boot Camp)and it was 100% worth it. It was a 10 week course and we learned so much. I 100% had the birth I did bc of those classes (48 hours unmedicated including 3.5 hrs of pushing, posterior baby, nuchal arm/hand). I was told had I come in earlier it'd have been a c section( I came to office 12 hrs in and they said I could go to hospital in a couple hrs. They actually called me later to ask where I was. I wasnt ready). 9 months after I had a pap smear at different office and he couldn't understand how I didnt have c section bc of my pelvis shape...
We choose private birth classes as opposed to hospital which usually teaches you how to be good patient.
However beauty of technology is online classes: Birth Boot Camp, the Birth Hour, Mama Natural and so many more I'm sure!
Usually hospital has fast track options of 1 or 2 days.
I think it is really important to know what is going bc most providers only come to catch the baby. I had a lot of friends who did not take classes and were overwhelmed. One said traumatized that no one told them anything (her epidural didn't work... experienced anesthesiologist of 30 yrs)
@angemtn I’ve have 3 labors now. The first two were induced (10 hours and 2 hours). I got the epidural because it became unbearable. My 3rd baby came 2 weeks early, and I had contractions for 24 hours and then barely made it to the hospital. 20 minute labor. No drugs because I didn’t have time. From my experience, the contractions were the absolute most painful part of it all. I think if you are being induced, an epidural may be more necessary, but not impossible to go without. If I had the choice for this baby, I’d have another spontaneous labor and have no drugs again.
Thank you @treeofcheem@hbird0723@kc0711@Pascal86@blaf322 and @JessDG! Super helpful. The way they're marketed, I'd have guessed they're far more universal than they seem. Not showing yet or anything, just thinking about building out the wardrobe
Wow! These comments are all so helpful! I will definitely be taking classes, and a doula has also been appealing to me. @meanjellybean there are no birth centers in my area, so I’ll be delivering in a hospital. I considered a home birth, but I really think I’ll feel more safe in a hospital. We do visit Denver fairly often, so I may try to schedule a class down there for our next visit in a couple months. @nursejenn5 That is a great perspective that I hadn’t really considered - in addition to me being more prepared, it would be good to not just waddle into labor/delivery at the hospital and hope for the best. @busymom247 I have the Mama Natural book, and also a book called “Homebirth in the Hospital” and “Ina May’s Guide To Childbirth” as well, but these online classes sound like they might be the way to go since I’m pretty far away from a lot of resources. @zande2016@blaf322@rachstar18 I definitely intend to go unmedicated, and will do research on these pain management techniques, but I am not lying to myself about how hard it is going to be, or the possibility of needing any and all kinds of intervention. I have heard a fair amount of “homebirth to c-section” stories, and am not naive enough to think that it couldn’t happen like that for me also. That is (part of) what makes women so incredible. Thanks everyone so much for sharing your experiences and opinions!
@angemtn I'm late to the conversation, but I did a 4 week course (one night/week) at my hospital that was specific to those wanting an unmedicated birth and found it very helpful. They went over all sorts of pain management techniques and it was nice knowing lots of options I could try to see what worked for me (learned very quickly in those classes that meditation was not going to be my jam). They still went over all the interventions and things that could happen, and I think it was good for MH to be there for all of that too since he's not much of a researcher on his own for that sort of thing. You might look and see if there's something similar offered? I've also heard good things about doulas, but I didn't get one because $$$. My advice is to go into your labor knowing what you want, but know that things can change and it's not always in your control what happens.
I'm 14 weeks today...in the last week I started having hip pain when trying to sleep on my side, which is my go-to and also how I'm going to have to sleep later in pregnancy. Anybody dealt with this and what worked for you to get rid of the pain? It's been disrupting my sleep and I'm not happy about that! I did a little reading and it seems like I need to stretch and possibly get some massage. I would rather not have to take Tylenol to make this better.
@angemtn I knew from day 1 I couldn’t have an epidural or a spinal (due to super low platelets), and was OK with it. I’ve always had a very high pain tolerance, and hoped this would work in my favor. What I don’t do well AT ALL is read about medical stuff or see surgeries. Literally, I even faint at a blood test if I accidentally look.
So, when my OB suggested a birth class, I told her no thanks. I had full confidence in their team & knew that I would leave the hospital with a baby no longer inside me. 🤷🏻♀️
Turned out baby flipped breach at 36w, so it was ultimately a c-section & moot. However, I took a breastfeeding course and my H & I took an infant care course. And both were super helpful!
@treeofcheem Our pup is 9, so hoping she’ll enter a new, more chill phase soon but we’ll see! And yeah- would be great to find a trainer who can really work with her, identify her triggers... She’s generally very smart and quick to learn so feeling hopeful. Thanks for sharing your experience!
Do they adjust due date if you’re measuring a few days ahead? I’m 13w3 and at my ultrasound this morning I was 13w6. I’m just curious. The ultrasound was just with the tech so all I got was an “everything looks great,” no doctor consult. Just curious if that difference is enough to encourage a due date change.
Yeah @rachelredhead I doubt they will change it. Sometimes they just measure a little big, and it's not an exact science. But yay for everything looking good!!
@eljames83 I've been having back/hip pain too. I started sleeping with a thick pillow between my knees and ankles. That has really helped. I'm also starting to see the chiropractor again hoping that will help too. I only need one chiropractic adjustment last pregnancy, so I'm hoping this one is the same.
@eljames83 I have hip dysplasia (spelling?) and it is sometimes painful in general, but also to sleep on my side. I got a pregnancy pillow from a friend, and while it takes up major space in the bed, it also helps a lot. Not only am I able to sleep on my side more comfortably, but it keeps me in that position so I don’t accidentally roll over onto my back.
Not usually unless 5 or more days off (maybe 7). Like it's been said, it's not exact. The most accurate dating ultrasound is before 12 weeks.
Part of the sizing etc is measuring bines...femur long then it might calculate bigger or ahead. Mom/dad might be tall.
At 5 weeks+ 4 I was measuring 6 weeks+ 1, four days ahead. They left my due date which was happy about (I had to wait 5 weeks to find that out). I personally wanted the later date bc I went overdue last time
Do they adjust due date if you’re measuring a few days ahead? I’m 13w3 and at my ultrasound this morning I was 13w6. I’m just curious. The ultrasound was just with the tech so all I got was an “everything looks great,” no doctor consult. Just curious if that difference is enough to encourage a due date change.
I'm having dull pain at the front of my lower abdomen. No real rhyme or reason to when it shows up and goes away.... though, it does seem to happen more if I have my knees up like, when relaxing on the couch). I'm not super bundled up and don't feel like I'm squishing anything... but there's that dull pain and I almost feel like my ute is in the way sometimes lol. My belly isn't super big yet, though. I think it's a "normal" size for me for how far along I am?
I'm thinking maybe just normal stretching but wanted to ask the group since I don't remember this with DD and, I don't know... Just want to make sure no one has had it and it's been an issue for them/concern for their doc? So, what does J20 say? Normal?
Re: The Great Question Thread
our trainer also recommended bringing home a dirty diaper and receiving blanket the baby had used but, tbh, our dog gave zero F’s about that and it didn’t have any impact on how the intro went. We were also encouraged to get a baby doll that cries and such so he’s used to us holding something/giving attention to someone else. Again, he didn’t really care about that.
I had one last time and I didn't love it. Maybe I was using it wrong or something. Since I already had maternity jeans from the last pregnancy, I am just wearing those instead of trying it again. That being said I feel like there were tons of people who like them.
Thanks so much for the tips! Super helpful- will look into finding a good trainer. Unfortunately that one you mentioned isn’t in our area. We tried getting a trainer when we first moved to NYC which ended up being such a scam- basically charged us $600 for a new leash and common sense tips we already knew, and then asked us to pay for his parking too
But I highly recommend getting a trainer involved and doing so now to avoid any future problems as best you can. Training can do a lot, though I do believe there are some truly aggressive dogs out there that can’t just be trained out of it. It sounds like you’ve found ways to work with your dog so far, so I’m assuming things can go well in the future!
Expecting again -- EDD 7/27/20
I did wear maternity pants, but especially early on the bands never fit right, or they were weirdly saggy, or I just wanted to wear my “normal” clothes to keep up the appearance that I wasn’t pregnant before we announced. I’ll use them again, although I haven’t needed to yet.
Expecting again -- EDD 7/27/20
And for the epidural.. I went into my first labor thinking I would just try to go without, but if it got to where it was more than I felt capable of handling, I would ask for the epidural. I did fine for the first 10 hours or so, but after my water broke, the contractions were way more intense. (Went from a 6 to a delivering in about two hours) I got an epidural about 45 minutes after my water broke. That has been my go to now. Once my water breaks I have delivered in less than 2 hours, and I always request an epidural when the dr breaks my water now. **Also, my water has never broken on its own, it has always been done by the doctor.
I went to a short "class" at my OBs office that explained when to call them, timing contractions, what some of the terms mean etc. I kind of knew how the whole birthing process was going to go down. It wasn't anything hardcore and I kind of felt like it was helpful. I know others who did multi-week classes and enjoyed them.
Other than that, I asked my BMB a lot of questions and read up a little. I'm a wimp and am firmly on team Epidural.
last birth. I didn’t quite make it, after 12 hours on pitocin the pain became too much, but I never would have lasted that long without the epidural if not for my doula. I found that more helpful than any classes, but part of their job is also to educate you before birth.
We took childbirth classes (Birth Boot Camp)and it was 100% worth it. It was a 10 week course and we learned so much. I 100% had the birth I did bc of those classes (48 hours unmedicated including 3.5 hrs of pushing, posterior baby, nuchal arm/hand). I was told had I come in earlier it'd have been a c section( I came to office 12 hrs in and they said I could go to hospital in a couple hrs. They actually called me later to ask where I was. I wasnt ready). 9 months after I had a pap smear at different office and he couldn't understand how I didnt have c section bc of my pelvis shape...
We choose private birth classes as opposed to hospital which usually teaches you how to be good patient.
However beauty of technology is online classes: Birth Boot Camp, the Birth Hour, Mama Natural and so many more I'm sure!
Usually hospital has fast track options of 1 or 2 days.
I think it is really important to know what is going bc most providers only come to catch the baby. I had a lot of friends who did not take classes and were overwhelmed. One said traumatized that no one told them anything (her epidural didn't work... experienced anesthesiologist of 30 yrs)
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
@nursejenn5 That is a great perspective that I hadn’t really considered - in addition to me being more prepared, it would be good to not just waddle into labor/delivery at the hospital and hope for the best.
@busymom247 I have the Mama Natural book, and also a book called “Homebirth in the Hospital” and “Ina May’s Guide To Childbirth” as well, but these online classes sound like they might be the way to go since I’m pretty far away from a lot of resources.
@zande2016 @blaf322 @rachstar18 I definitely intend to go unmedicated, and will do research on these pain management techniques, but I am not lying to myself about how hard it is going to be, or the possibility of needing any and all kinds of intervention. I have heard a fair amount of “homebirth to c-section” stories, and am not naive enough to think that it couldn’t happen like that for me also. That is (part of) what makes women so incredible.
Thanks everyone so much for sharing your experiences and opinions!
What I don’t do well AT ALL is read about medical stuff or see surgeries. Literally, I even faint at a blood test if I accidentally look.
However, I took a breastfeeding course and my H & I took an infant care course. And both were super helpful!
Not usually unless 5 or more days off (maybe 7). Like it's been said, it's not exact. The most accurate dating ultrasound is before 12 weeks.
Part of the sizing etc is measuring bines...femur long then it might calculate bigger or ahead. Mom/dad might be tall.
At 5 weeks+ 4 I was measuring 6 weeks+ 1, four days ahead. They left my due date which was happy about (I had to wait 5 weeks to find that out). I personally wanted the later date bc I went overdue last time
I'm thinking maybe just normal stretching but wanted to ask the group since I don't remember this with DD and, I don't know... Just want to make sure no one has had it and it's been an issue for them/concern for their doc? So, what does J20 say? Normal?