The Great Question Thread

coffeeandcookies84

For FTM to STM+, “dumb” questions, TMI, etc., ask them here!

surlyjaneausten

So I am not a FTM but still have some questions. Did anyone use a Dock A Tot? Any thoughts? I know there not technically for sleep. How about one of those magic sleep suits? My first has always been a garbage sleeper. Crossing my fingers that this one has sleepier genes. What worked well for you?

coffeeandcookies84

@surlyjaneausten I’m also considering a Dock A Tot this time around, mostly we’ll have DS running around and I’ll want a nice space to lay them down on the table, couch, etc.

for sleeping with DS we used a Woombie which I thought was amazing! I think we’ll try to repeat that. DS was such a good sleeper though, I’m afraid this one will be the complete opposite.

surlyjaneausten

@coffeeandcookies84 ooh thanks for the tip. Just added a Woombie to my secret registry. 

KatieEl

@surlyjaneausten I used Merlin’s magic sleepsuit with 2/3 of my kids (my second was a mythical, magic sleeper). And I cannot say enough good things about it, I’m truly like an evangelist and try to make everyone get one. My oldest loves his so much it’s his lovie, and he still lays it out on his pillow to sleep on 😂 (ETA tag)

nessa1632

@surlyjaneaustenI used a doc a tot with my first. LOVED IT. It was gifted to us though so we didn’t have to buy. It is kind of insanely priced. But seriously it was so useful. Fit perfectly on our larger coffee table, the couch, etc.

nessa1632

@surlyjaneausten my first was also a garbage sleeper. Lightening can’t strike twice right? 😳

surlyjaneausten

@nessa1632 man I hope not! It just wouldn’t be fair 😂. I gave up on everything with my son but I’ll try anything with this one. 

pocketrose

Question - How serious is this "no runny eggs" business in regards to pregnancy? I knew all about the deli meats, drinking, etc but life without a poached/over-easy/sunnyside egg already feels sad. Is over medium fine? How much run can my yolk have? Clearly going to ask my OB when I go in for my first appointment in a week and a half but would love STM thoughts!

KatieEl

@pocketrose so the danger of runny eggs is food poisoning basically, so I’m judicious about where my eggs come from (as I would be, not pregnant tbh, food poisoning is the worst). For me, farm fresh eggs from healthy pastured hens? I will totally eat runny and plan to all pregnancy. Egglands best? I’ll probably cook those fully. FWIW I ate runny eggs last night. (Edited lightly for clarity)

pretzellover

@surlyjaneausten My pediatrician has been vocal about how unsafe dock-a-tots are for night & co-sleeping. If you plan to use 100% supervised, then they’re fine; but she said never overnight or unsupervised.
After the rock & plat debacle of last year, definitely important to keep babes on flat surfaces which won’t allow them to get smothered once they start to roll (which happens surprisingly fast @ like 3-4m).

dancingtreepose

I was surprised to learn recently that herbal teas can be dicey, had never heard this before I got pregs. There is a lot of conflicting info on the interweb about herbal teas.  They say fruity is fine but the Celestial Seasonings Raspberry Zinger and Wildberry Zinger both contain chicory root which is supposedly bad. I used to drink a lot of Yogi Teas or Traditional Medicinals which are all OUT. I've been drinking Twinnings Lemon and Ginger after checking the ingredients list and not seeing anything bad. I know mint is okay but it's not my fave, I guess I will learn to like it.  Any other herbal tea junkies out there?  What are you drinking now?

blaf322

@dancingtreepose I love fruit teas so I'm still drinking those. Have you ever tried Steeped Tea brand of loose leaf tea? They have the best blends and really great quality!

blaf322

@pocketrose I will eat runny eggs and a medium rare steak. Like @KatieEl said, it's about feeling comfortable with the source. Same with (low-mercury) sushi and things like that.

stlbuckeye132

Is anyone else starting to already freak out about daycare, or am I alone in this? I thought I was on top of my game with DD when we toured a few at ~18 weeks, but the ones we liked had waiting lists out past when I needed to start. I honestly think I'll start looking around at our options in December assuming all goes well at the first appointment. I'd love to stay with where we are now, but I honestly don't know if we can afford to send two there... 

blaf322

@stlbuckeye132 I am nooooot ready for another mortgage payment in daycare fees. We'll definitely stick with our current daycare though, so that makes the choice part of it easier.

stlbuckeye132

@blaf322 the costs are seriously outrageous. It makes me sick when I really think about it, so I pretty much just try to avoid thinking about it. Great strategy! I love our current center, but I thought the costs would get better as she got older, and they're just.... not. If we can find somewhere else that we like and save some money, that would be great. I think it's one of those things where you get what you pay for though. We'll see I guess!

blaf322

@stlbuckeye132 that's what we found. We had a daycare center RIGHT outside of our (now old) neighborhood and really wanted to use it b/c it was so close and so cheap... but, you get what you pay for.

Have you considered and in home daycare for the first year or so? Maybe if you can find something close to your current daycare so it doesn't add to your commute with two drop offs? I feel like they don't really learn much during the first year anyway (not to say that in home daycares don't teach... but you could find someone to act as, more or less, a babysitter instead of a teacher and save). It would be a good way for you to have somewhere affordable for the baby without needing to totally change things up when you already love where you're at. 

stlbuckeye132

@blaf322 I haven't given it too much serious thought yet, but I suppose that's another option! I'm going to wait until my first appointment before contacting anyone else. I already have our current center's rates, so if all the other places are in line with that, we'll probably just stay there and live off Ramen I guess. haha

dancingtreepose

@blaf322 I haven't heard of that tea but I will look for it now, thanks!

b_1029

How strict are you all when it comes to “pregnancy safe” skincare products? I just looked up everything I use (Tula) and turns out NONE of it is “safe” 🤦🏼‍♀️ 

bluguitarhannah

@b_1029 I'm not using things with Retinol or acne creams but I'm not checking a lot of other stuff.

b_1029

@bluguitarhannah sounds good! I had no idea that my face wash and moisturizer both had retinol in them 😬

KatieEl

@b_1029 I ditched my retinol and acne stuff, but the rest of what I use (drunk elephant mostly) is fine (I checked and made the switch with most stuff in previous pregnancies so it didn’t take that long to recheck)

pocketrose

Well this is eye-opening, I'm relatively sure my skincare has salicylic acid in it and would have had no idea to think about this before reading what you guys have shared! 

b_1029

@pocketrose I’ve been googling most of the stuff I use, I don’t wear makeup that often but do use that face cream every day. I’ve been surprised at things that are on the “no” list (mainly for retinol or sunscreen) 

modoodles

I've got a question. Is the NT Ultrasound still pretty standard? I don't know anymore, and I don't want to ask anyone I know because we aren't sharing yet! 

stlbuckeye132

Ok this skincare discussion has me spiraling a bit. I knew to avoid retinol, but I've been doing some more googling and comparing ingredients in products I've been using, and I feel like nothing is safe? My night cream has benzyl salicylate as an ingredient, and my face wash has tea tree oil, which I just read is a no-no. Cool, cool, trying not to freak out about inadvertently harming the poppyseed inside me.

*TW maybe?* Background: my daughter needed emergency surgery at 24 hours old for an intestinal problem that technically is considered a birth defect although I don't love that term. (And it wasn't something detectable during the anatomy scan, so it came as a surprise to us.) She's all good now, but this is sort of bringing up all those old feelings of maybe I ate something/used a product I wasn't supposed to/drank that beer before I knew I was pregnant and it was my fault.

Ok, end freak out. Deep breaths. Sorry for the spiral.

b_1029

@stlbuckeye132 I was freaking out a little too! I’m sure you are fine but I understand where you’re coming from ❤️❤️

macheno

@modoodles Yes, the NT is pretty standard. It's a mid 1st trimester US to measure the base of the neck of the and the babies head to see if they might have a birth defect. They're fairly accurate, but if the Dr thinks that it measures over the normal range they will schedule more testing- amnio or genetics test. My sister had her DS's NT a little over the limit and did the genetics test and he was fine. Turned out he just has a big head. Most people opt for the genetics test later on to rule out anything else, and to find out the sex earlier. 

blaf322

@stlbuckeye132 I need to find my pregnancy book. She has a whole area about face creams. I didn't want to weigh in on the topic without really knowing, but since you're freaking out a little, I'll say this... I'm fairly certain she said that it's actually not a huge concern unless you're injecting retinol into your veins. That the small amount that is absorbed transdermally isn't of major concern. (I remember thinking, if I had skin problems, I'd consider continued use/weigh my options based on the info she gave) But, I'll see if I can find the book tonight to read up on the studies she quoted and report back

All that to say, I totally understand why you're stressed but I think you're LO is perfectly safe and you haven't done anything to hurt him/her

stlbuckeye132

@blaf322 thank you! I definitely went down a rabbit hole I should not have yesterday against my better judgment. I'm feeling much better today haha

blaf322

@stlbuckeye132 so glad you're feeling better about everything today! It's so easy to fall down the google rabbit hole lol

bluguitarhannah

@stlbuckeye132 as cautious as I'm being on some things I'm getting roots done tomorrow.  I think there is crazy amount of advice everywhere.  Glad you are feeling better today. 

blaf322

bluguitarhannah said:

@stlbuckeye132 as cautious as I'm being on some things I'm getting roots done tomorrow.  I think there is crazy amount of advice everywhere.  Glad you are feeling better today. 

fun fact... I read this chapter in my book thoroughly with my last pregnancy b/c my dad is a stylist and I really didn't want to stop getting my hair done. The issues that have been reported related to being around hair color and such was done on stylists who were around the fumes and all day in and day out and the incidents were still super low/couldn't be directly linked to the chemicals because of their working conditions. So, as you clearly already know, you're totally safe to get your roots done

mehugg

@stlbuckeye132 @blaf322 @bluguitarhannah this is really helpful. I've been overdue for a touch-up of my balyage for ages and I was thinking I'd just have to wait til next summer to do anything about it (or at least second try) 🤦 thanks y'all

kboydbowman

Make your own pregnancy tea, and you can get all the ingredients off of Amazon - red raspberry leaf, stinging nettle, spearmint leaf, rose hips, and oat straw.  Boil about 2 Tbsp each in a pot of water for 8 to 10 minutes, then strain.  Good hot or cold.  Most of the ingredients are good for nausea and/or uterine tone. I drink 2 cups a day (shouldn't do more than that in 1st trimester).

dancingtreepose

Part of me doesn't even want to look up my skincare ingredients. I don't use retinol or acne products though. I have significant rosacea with bumps that look like acne but don't respond to acne products. I have tried many different products, even prescriptions and nothing helps.  Makeup it is! I don't leave the house without at least CC cream. It's a self-confidence thing. I feel like people stare at me or think I'm gross when I'm not wearing anything. You'd be surprised to find out how many strangers feel the need to walk up to you and make comments and/or unwanted suggestions about your face! 

modoodles

I am annoyed. My first appointment to see my doctor isn't until 12 weeks. I would just like some reassurance before then.

 *tw**I understand that having one mc doesn't increase likelihood of another, but it was so recent (September), and now I'm going to be a wreck until middle of January. No bloodwork, absolutely nothing.**tw over**

I am actually considering another doctor because of it. I could be overreacting, but come on dude. The nurse who called me back said the dr wanted me in for an "early dating ultrasound" between 10-12 weeks. How is that early? And when I asked her if that would be done along with the NT scan, she didnt know what I was talking about. 

(Edit because I realize there is no question)

Is this fairly typical? It has been a long time since I was at the dr. for a pregnancy, but I remember seeing my doctor and having a timeline/plan a lot earlier than 12 weeks. When is everyone else being seen?

blaf322

@dancingtreepose that's so obnoxious! I do not understand people like that and I'm sorry you've had to deal with it! 
When I was younger and worked in an infusion pharmacy compounding medications (so I didn't always wear make up because I was in a hair net, face mask and gloves all day). I had this one coworker who I didn't see often but she always seemed to come in office on the days I didn't wear makeup and she would say, "are you feeling okay? You look sick today."    I finally told her, "I'm not sick... that's just what my face looks like." ::eye roll::

blaf322

@modoodles my situation is a little different because of going to the RE, BUT, I believe that's normal once they see you for the initial confirmation appt.