I was thinking a out ThredUp for maternity clothes (online consignment) but I got super overwhelmed because as a FTM I feel like I don't know what my body is about to do or what I'm going to like ("full panel"???)
@mehugg I remember thinking the same thing lol. I was like how do I know what size I'll be?? Luckily, you just go with what size you are now. If you're typically a medium in regular, get a medium. That's the beauty of maternity clothes! Full panel means you can pull the elastic belly panel alllllll the way up to your boobs lol.
@stlbuckeye132 I know some stores still have maternity clothes in them, but not all. I went on a cruise last spring and helped my pregnant sister pick out a few maternity dresses from old navy before we went!
But now that I'm thinking about it, it may have been at an outlet. 🤔
I don't know how I forgot about this until now, but I used this Bellaband thing (link and photos in spoiler) for that awkward period when your normal pants are no longer comfortable but you don't have an actual bump so maternity pants wouldn't stay up quite yet. I just continued wearing my normal pants but unbuttoned/unzipped and had the band around them to keep them up. It stuck out a bit below most of my shirts, but I didn't mind because it just looked like a camisole.
@mehugg this also might be a good way to figure out if you'll like a low panel or full panel as it can be folded in half or worn way up to your boobs. I personally preferred a low panel until my bump was pretty bumpy and then I wanted the full panel.
@nursejenn5 my only beef with the full panel is that they're a bit loose in the beginning. Maybe it's just b/c I have a small waist compared to my hips/thighs. But that was annoying in the beginning last time.
As a FTM I’ve been wearing a pair of the full panel leggings from ON and although they’re definitely too big right now, one reason I like them is they help me feel pregnant. So just a sentimental reason I like the full panel. 😁
I think the reason I hated the full panel is that I felt like they always slid down at the top. My friend gave me a pair a few days ago, but I dont know if I'll ever wear them.
Oh man, forgot about my BellaBand. Pulling that thing out as soon as I get home, I think I’m officially done buttoning my pants when I’m not standing up.
Do all teas come with the warning about consulting your doc if you are pregnant or bf? I’m not a big tea drinker, but I got some mango ginger decaf tea to drink for my nausea (it’s pretty good!) but I just saw the warming. I googled the main ingredients and it seems safe, so maybe it’s just a liability thing?
@blaf322 blerg I tried to respond earlier but the app kept crapping out. That link was super informative, thanks! I did decide to (keep) drinking my cup of tea after scanning the ingredients again lol. Turns out it’s rooibos or whatever which actually isn’t “tea” or something? That’s per my continued evidence-based research (aka google).
@JessDG I still use mine but it’s pretty light (maybe 15-20 lbs) as far as weighted blankets go. I figured I’d use it for as long as I slept on my back. I don’t think I’ll like it as much once back sleeping is less comfortable. But I haven’t even looked into whether I should keep using it or not so I’ll be lurking your question. 😁
@JessDG I was just with my SIL last night who is like 16 weeks with her third and she said she sleeps with one and had it cleared with her OB, who said it was fine. You could double check, but unless it's like a million pounds you're prob good lol.
@JessDG Everything I'm reading says they're okay. I have one I don't use anymore but can't see why it wouldn't be. I think the only down side could be if you're prone to rolling on your back. The extra weight might exasperate the reduced blood flow with back sleeping while pregnant. Otherwise, I can't see why it would be an issue.
@meanjellybean yay! I'm glad everything seems okay to drink! Hopefully it's helping your nausea
So at my appointment last week I was still overwhelmed with everything that I didn’t have any questions or asked about genetic testing. A week later as I’m starting to look into everything more now I’m curious in having a more open convo about it. My next app I’ll be 11.3 so I’m hoping that if we decide to do anything we won’t be late to the discussion for it 😬
@nursejenn5 Could you maybe email your most important questions over or ask if they think you'll be too late if you just talk about it next week? That way you will feel better about knowing you won't miss your window. If you need to speak about it sooner, they may be able to do a phone consult for you... or communicate via email if they're smaller questions.
Adding another great and mid-priced maternity resource: ASOS.com. I got a lot of versatile work and some weekend clothes from here. They carry an array of brands and ship fast & free to the US.
Wow, I just read all seven pages of this thread and as a FTM to-be I’ve learnt so much!
I wanted to add re: what to eat/not to eat. At my 12 week appointment yesterday I spoke to my OB about whether or not I could have sushi and she said it was fine (and she would if she is ever pregnant) as long as you avoid high mercury fish and go to a reputable place. She said with most of the things we get told not to eat it’s a judgement call. If you’ve never had food poisoning from it before then chances are you will be okay. Of course unpasteurized anything isn’t good and avoiding alcohol, washing fruit and vegetables etc. She said it’s not true about pregnant women having compromised or lowered immune systems but of course hormones can effect everyone differently. Of course you should always listen to what your doctor tells you but I just wanted to share what my OB told me. And on that note I’m having some salmon sashimi for dinner tonight
Also, completely agree about the Bellaband. I love mine so much. My jeans still mostly fit, but the waistband is getting a bit tight. It’s so nice to be able to wear my jeans without having to zip them up.
@bonnie babe not my provider specifically but I do work with a couple providers that say the same thing about sushi! Go to a good place and watch the type of fish and you should be good. Haven’t talked to my doc about it just yet. But we’ll see. I love me some sushi.
Question about NIPT testing...I’ve never had it before but since my last two pregnancies have been high risk and I’m older this time I decided to get it. I am doing panorama on Monday when I go in for my regular midwife appointment. I read online results come on 1-2 weeks but I won’t be back for another appointment for 4 weeks. Do they usually call you to discuss results before your next appointment? Or is there some sort of portal where the results are displayed? I don’t want to accidentally find out the sex when we haven’t decided yet if we are going to find out.
@zande2016 we had ours done (NIPT but a diff test) Dec 18 and the nurse called yesterday (27th) to say all is well. She asked if we wanted to know the sex and I asked her to write in an envelope for us to pick up. We couldn’t wait so now we know we’re having a boy. 😁You could always call your office and just let them know you won’t want to know via phone/portal, just so no info is shared that way. That would be a nice way to just learn what their process is for giving the results, too. I imagine lots of folks share results before next appointment, just because it’s such a source of anxiety. Best of luck to you that it isn’t too long a wait!
@rachelredhead thanks! I like the idea of having them writing it in an envelope and picking it up. That way we can decide if we want to look or not (although at that point I think temptation would be too great not to).
With DS I checked the box on the NIPT form to not find out the sex (Panorama). I'll be doing the same this time too.
But if you are on fence, leave unchecked, give instructions and make sure if they call to tell them not to tell you the sex. I know a few who were caught off guard and told when they were going to do something special for reveal.
My experience was they called me with results and I think put in portal too.
@elle131 I haven’t personally done it but have had ALOT of patients do it. generally it isn’t done until later in pregnancy, high blood pressures would be the indication to start one(or of for some reason they find other preeclampsia indicators such as high liver enzymes in blood work, or lots of protein in your urine during your OB checkups.
And if you have high blood pressure before 20 weeks(I’ll have to triple check to make sure this is the cut off) then it’s labeled as chronic hypertension and not preeclampsia at this point. I personally haven’t helped someone start a 24 hour urine until after 20 weeks(but I also don’t work in an office!). Your body generally won’t develop preeclampsia until later in pregnancy(I’ve personally seen the earliest as 22 weeks). But high blood pressure chronic or during pregnancy (not just an isolated incident) puts you at a higher risk of preeclampsia.
I have chronic hypertension and so they already had me do a 24 hour urine to get my baseline protein level. They do this because if you already have high blood pressure, they cannot use it as a marker for pre-eclampsia. I’ll be honest- it was not the most fun since I have to pee every hour and keeping pee in the fridge is less than appetizing!
So many of the daycares in my area have a waitlist that extends till 2021, which first like how do people know they will need an infant spot in two years? Also for anyone who has done home daycare how did you know if the place was safe, etc?
@beckylookatherbump We use an in home daycare with DS and it is actually our second one. Both ladies only babyit teachers kids in my county. A few colleagues used our old babysitter and our new one lives next door to another colleague. Our old one closed down so she could go back to teaching at the end of last year.
For both, we visited like we would any other daycare and asked mostly the same questions. I would definitely ask around for recommendations since knowing people I knew used and trusted these people helped me a whole lot. Both are wonderful and DS is learning so much. I am totally team in home daycare.
Anyone STMs with a problematic dog? Our Rescue lab mix is mostly good, but doesn’t have much experience interacting with babies or toddlers. We had her meet my nephew last week and it didn’t go that well. He’s a toddler who loves dogs, and would walk up to her pointing at her face, which got her anxious and she started growling. My husband had her completely restrained, so nothing bad happened. But eventually we had to lock her up in another room.
So of course I’m worried about our baby now. I know it should be different if she gets used to the baby gradually. And she’s been fine with babies in general since they’re not walking around. She’s also great with our cat, who we introduced her to gradually. But she does get triggered (lots of barking and occasionally a warning snap) when strangers suddenly go to pet her face.
Sorry this is so long! TLDR: our anxious rescue pup isn’t great with strangers or toddlers reaching towards her face. Maybe it will be different if she gets used to our baby gradually?
@randomname_generator I would call the rescue you got her from, they know your dog best. Also most of them are super motivated to keep dogs from getting returned so they are super helpful and have tons of tips for tough transitions. Otherwise the only thing we ever did to train our rescues was to give them like wet food or special treats that they only get around whatever stresses them out (loud noise, strangers, etc). It generally helps. Also be careful sometimes when they are restrained they are extra aggressive since they can’t really defend themselves. It makes them feel very exposed and they get defensive. I don’t have kids but we foster/ Rover a lot.
@JessDG we moved to a city where we have 0 family and none of our friends here have kids making it really hard to get recommendations. I joined some mom groups so I’m asking their too
@randomname_generator me! This is going to get long, but I'm hoping to give you all the info you need... Feel free to ask any questions after, though! (for ease of explaining, our dog's name is Blaze)
Background on our situation: Blaze is a snuggle bug.... except with kids and anyone new who comes through the front door (vs the side/garage door), especially if they knock. He will eat them. Seriously. He's not allowed around kids, at all... with the exception of DD and we have everyone new come through the garage to avoid issues during introductions. He bit someone who knocked on the front door when my ILs were watching him and opened the front door. So, between the bite history, his age (13), and his chronic pancreatitis, we knew, going into it, that we wouldn't be able to rehome him if it didn't work out with DD. He would likely have to be put down. So, we looped in our trainers. His issue is trust. Once he trusts someone, they're in. He wouldn't dare harm them. So, if you think your dog has genuine aggression issues vs the fear aggression we deal with, your results may be different. That said, here are my suggestions:
1- get a trainer. We used The Dog Wizard. They might have a location in your area. We originally sent him so he wouldn't jump on people to greet him back when we got married. That $2k we spent has proven invaluable because they took him back to re-train/get him back into a good working mode and then did home visits to help us learn how to properly introduce everyone/give us the best chance of success. They gave us a muzzel and some other things, for free, so that everyone could feel safe during introductions. Spend the money. If you're having issues now, it's 100% needed.
What the trainer had us do in the months leading up to birth: 1- No dogs on the bed or couch. This is a dominance thing and is a must. You have to prove to your dog that you are in charge and don't need protecting. 2- Blaze spent all of his time either in the "place" command (on his dog bed) or in his kennel. He was only allowed out/off of place when we let him out to go to the bathroom and for structured activities (a walk in the heel command, having him sit/stay and then calling him to come/sit in front of us from far away so he could get energy out, etc). He's fed in his kennel. All treats are given in the kennel. All good things happen in the kennel.
Once baby arrives... here's what we did: 1- Continue with the kennel/place restrictions. 2- Bring baby close to the kennel and just sit with him/her so your dog can get used to the smell/presence of the baby. 3- After Blaze stopped acting on edge when DD was around (you just have to read his body language) we started bringing her head near the kennel so he could get his nose out a little to sniff, but not bite. 4- Eventually, he was allowed out when she was up, but on a leash that one of us was holding 5- then he graduated to being off the leash but she had to be in our arms... eventually, we allowed for her to be near us vs in our arms as long as he was on the other side of the room (so we could get to her before he could) 6- Eventually, he was allowed to roam as long as he came nowhere near her 7- Finally, after about 2 months, he acted like he wanted to be near her and I just knew it was okay b/c we do a very good job at reading our dog after so long dealing with his issues.... I let him sniff and he went crazy licking her face and it's been ever sense.
ETA- I second the high value treats around stressors, like @beckylookatherbump suggested. I didn’t include that bc it’s not an option for us bc of his chronic pancreatitis so I totally forgot about it
@randomname_generator I’ll add, we set strict boundaries with DD and still maintain them. She has to be respectful of his space now that they’re safe to be around each other. She is never allowed to crawl on him, get in his face, take something from him, etc. She’s recently started needing to step over him or get him to move. We made sure we were right there when the stepping over started because if he showed any signs of being uncomfortable, it wouldn’t happen again. Boundaries are SUPER important to keep everyone safe.
Here are a couple of photos of them together when she was younger. These moments warmed my entire heart bc of how far we had come I such a short time. He loves that little girl so much. ❤️
Re: The Great Question Thread
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
But now that I'm thinking about it, it may have been at an outlet. 🤔
@mehugg this also might be a good way to figure out if you'll like a low panel or full panel as it can be folded in half or worn way up to your boobs. I personally preferred a low panel until my bump was pretty bumpy and then I wanted the full panel.
@nursejenn5 my only beef with the full panel is that they're a bit loose in the beginning. Maybe it's just b/c I have a small waist compared to my hips/thighs. But that was annoying in the beginning last time.
FWIW... I bet that mango ginger tea is totally fine.
Being pregnant makes me second guess every thing I do. 🤣
@meanjellybean yay! I'm glad everything seems okay to drink! Hopefully it's helping your nausea
Also, completely agree about the Bellaband. I love mine so much. My jeans still mostly fit, but the waistband is getting a bit tight. It’s so nice to be able to wear my jeans without having to zip them up.
With DS I checked the box on the NIPT form to not find out the sex (Panorama). I'll be doing the same this time too.
But if you are on fence, leave unchecked, give instructions and make sure if they call to tell them not to tell you the sex. I know a few who were caught off guard and told when they were going to do something special for reveal.
My experience was they called me with results and I think put in portal too.
We use an in home daycare with DS and it is actually our second one. Both ladies only babyit teachers kids in my county. A few colleagues used our old babysitter and our new one lives next door to another colleague. Our old one closed down so she could go back to teaching at the end of last year.
For both, we visited like we would any other daycare and asked mostly the same questions. I would definitely ask around for recommendations since knowing people I knew used and trusted these people helped me a whole lot. Both are wonderful and DS is learning so much. I am totally team in home daycare.
Background on our situation: Blaze is a snuggle bug.... except with kids and anyone new who comes through the front door (vs the side/garage door), especially if they knock. He will eat them. Seriously. He's not allowed around kids, at all... with the exception of DD and we have everyone new come through the garage to avoid issues during introductions. He bit someone who knocked on the front door when my ILs were watching him and opened the front door. So, between the bite history, his age (13), and his chronic pancreatitis, we knew, going into it, that we wouldn't be able to rehome him if it didn't work out with DD. He would likely have to be put down. So, we looped in our trainers. His issue is trust. Once he trusts someone, they're in. He wouldn't dare harm them. So, if you think your dog has genuine aggression issues vs the fear aggression we deal with, your results may be different. That said, here are my suggestions:
1- get a trainer. We used The Dog Wizard. They might have a location in your area. We originally sent him so he wouldn't jump on people to greet him back when we got married. That $2k we spent has proven invaluable because they took him back to re-train/get him back into a good working mode and then did home visits to help us learn how to properly introduce everyone/give us the best chance of success. They gave us a muzzel and some other things, for free, so that everyone could feel safe during introductions. Spend the money. If you're having issues now, it's 100% needed.
What the trainer had us do in the months leading up to birth:
1- No dogs on the bed or couch. This is a dominance thing and is a must. You have to prove to your dog that you are in charge and don't need protecting.
2- Blaze spent all of his time either in the "place" command (on his dog bed) or in his kennel. He was only allowed out/off of place when we let him out to go to the bathroom and for structured activities (a walk in the heel command, having him sit/stay and then calling him to come/sit in front of us from far away so he could get energy out, etc). He's fed in his kennel. All treats are given in the kennel. All good things happen in the kennel.
Once baby arrives... here's what we did:
1- Continue with the kennel/place restrictions.
2- Bring baby close to the kennel and just sit with him/her so your dog can get used to the smell/presence of the baby.
3- After Blaze stopped acting on edge when DD was around (you just have to read his body language) we started bringing her head near the kennel so he could get his nose out a little to sniff, but not bite.
4- Eventually, he was allowed out when she was up, but on a leash that one of us was holding
5- then he graduated to being off the leash but she had to be in our arms... eventually, we allowed for her to be near us vs in our arms as long as he was on the other side of the room (so we could get to her before he could)
6- Eventually, he was allowed to roam as long as he came nowhere near her
7- Finally, after about 2 months, he acted like he wanted to be near her and I just knew it was okay b/c we do a very good job at reading our dog after so long dealing with his issues.... I let him sniff and he went crazy licking her face and it's been
ETA- I second the high value treats around stressors, like @beckylookatherbump suggested. I didn’t include that bc it’s not an option for us bc of his chronic pancreatitis so I totally forgot about it
Hope that helps!
Here are a couple of photos of them together when she was younger. These moments warmed my entire heart bc of how far we had come I such a short time. He loves that little girl so much. ❤️