Okay I’m already having problems getting comfortable sleeping. What’s helping you all get comfortable and if you are using a pillow to help what kind? The pregnancy pillow I have is way too bulky for our bed.
@ktholysz I bought a c shaped pregnancy pillow from amazon last week and it’s helping me a lot! Typically, I’m a side and back sleeper but my back was just killing me by week 14. So this pillow props me up, offers back support, and has suited me great so far. It is kind of big, but I’m 6’0 and over 200lbs so it’s just my size. My family grows Amazonian women and linebackers. Big and bulky is kind of our thing 🤷♀️😂
@charbabymama I actually had to go through all of our family members and everything to select our shower date. We ended up going with December 14th. My sister in law, mom, MIL and bridesmaids are all working together on it thankfully. Luckily where we are located our "winter" doesn't get the bad storms until the new year. I'm hoping it is the same this year lol. But we did pick a location that is quite literally right off of the highway so it will hopefully be an easy trip for whoever does come.
My MIL mentioned January. I think it's a good date. This will be after Tgiving and Christmas. Now that I remember, we did a baby shower in early December for a cousin who was due early January. This worked very well. People weren't too much into Christmas shopping yet and Christmas parties were just about to start. Showers in my H's family are huge (50+ people). We usually invite guys too. Since we live in the tundra, we will certainly have to host it at a community center. We can't have 50+ people in someone's house. When showers are hosted in spring and summer, the guys stay outside and play games/talk. Not much of that happening when it's -10 outside.
TTC#1 10/2018: MFI (2 SA under 9 million/ml) 11/2018: HSG shows right Fallopian tube slightly damaged 1/2019: Husband diagnosed with grade 3 varicocele 4/05/2019: varicocele repair surgery 6/13/2019: BFP!!! EDD: 2/22/2020 Baby girl born 2/27/2020 7/18/2019: Total Motile Count at 3 months post surgery = 51 millions!! (number must be >20 millions to conceive naturally).
I am due early February and we are having the shower November 9th. I was advised by a friend that having the shower earlier as opposed to later will cut down the stress of nesting (she felt that she needed to be getting things ready for baby, but hadn't had her shower yet and became very stressed). I also figured that early November avoids both the horrible winter weather and the holidays. I also didn't want to worry about the baby coming early (potentially before the shower if we planned it for January).
I cannot wait to meet my little boy but I have to admit that I am scared of raising a boy (and my boyfriend doesn’t understand my fears). I think I initially wanted a baby girl just because I’m a girl and it’s what I know. My baby boy is going to be exactly what i need and I am so grateful for him already!
But does anyone else relate to how I feel? Any Mom of boys out there with some tips or encouraging words?
@kerin40 as a mom of two boys I can tell you that boys are actually easier than my daughter. Just remember that boys do well with hands on sensory so playing in the dirt is actually fun and good for them! With my first I struggled with all the boy play because it is very messy at times but you just let go of worries and just enjoy all the mud pies or ninja fighting.
@kerin40 I have three boys and they are just the best. I didn’t have much experience with boys either (I grew up with a sister; no brothers or cousins nearby). They are loud and very energetic, but they’re super sweet and sensitive. They’re extremely loving, especially with their mamas.
@kerin40 I’m expecting my 2nd boy. With my first, we actually didn’t know what we were having until birth, so there was no anxiety either way. But I was SO excited when I saw I had a son! I really really love being a boy mom.
A friend of mine became pregnant unintentionally, and is now a single mom. She bawled when she found out it was a boy. But now that he is here she has told me multiple times “I don’t know what I was worried about, I can’t imagine being a mom to anyone else, etc.”
@kerin40 I completely understand your nervousness. I have two nephews though and they are so sweet. Figuring out the whole penis thing is different but your husband can help in that area!
Also don't feel guilty about disappointment - it is really common. Just remember that a baby's sex is not totally determinate on it's nature. My daughter also loves to play in the dirt, loves dinosaurs and can be really loud. My baby brother was always a sensitive little guy and wasn't loud at all. Part of the fun is seeing how your little one turns out - you have a role to play in that but nature has a big say too
Me: 38, DH: 36 Married Jan 2008 DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18" so in love Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020
@kerin40 I totally get where you're coming from! I'm a FTM and honestly, I am kind of terrified whichever we have (find out in 4 weeks). I figure it is just fear of the unknown and most FTMs feel this way since it is a huge life change. Hope it helps that you aren't alone in this feeling!
@kerin40 my first is a boy and he’s so much fun! Don’t worry. You’ll learn about the boy things quickly and so far, I think my friends with girls do most of the same things we do.
Me:33 DH: 34 Married: May 2011 TTC #1: May 2015 DS: 10/20/2016 TTC #2: June 2019 #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
@kerin40 hi there. I'm not a first time mom, but my firstborn is a girl so I'm a little nervous about what to expect with this one being a boy. There are questions that I never had to think about before like: do I circumcise? If so, what does that mean for those early diaper changes? If not, does that change bath time? Am I going to get peed on constantly?
@kerin40 I'm a first time mom having a girl and I feel the same way you do, but about my girl. I grew up pretty geeky and then joined the military in a male-dominated field so most of my life all my friends have been guys. I don't have much experience with traditionally "girl" things. Now that I know I'm having a girl, I have all these irrational fears: What if she likes princesses and not superheroes? Why are all baby girl things pink with bows? I HATE pink and bows. But what if SHE likes pink and bows? What if she wants to be a cheerleader? What do I do when she has questions about makeup? WHAT IF SHE'S BAD AT MATH?
After talking to some (wiser) coworkers who have little girls, I have come to realize that I am putting too much pressure on myself (and the baby), worrying about traditional gender roles. The reality of it is, that my little girl and your little boy will be their own unique combination of you/me, our boyfriend/husband, and biology. The best thing we can do is wait to meet them and not worry about things that may or may not come to pass. Go with the flow and figure it out as we go. And, it's 2019: there are so many more resources out there to help us than our parents had. Like this message board, for instance.
Enjoying this gender threat because I can relate. FTM and for some reason always pictured myself having a boy. Feeling slightly apprehensive about a possible girl. I have sisters, the best girl friends and the most supportive women in my life, so this shouldn’t be hard - but I think it’s that I’m projecting my own stuff onto a possible girl. Being a women is the best and we are so amazing (lol) but I know it can also be complicated and so many expectations are put on us (appearance wise alone), plus society isn’t where I’d love it to be for a girl.... So I think I’m just daunted by the idea of preparing a girl for that - and also helping her realize she doesn’t have to be any certain thing to be a girl (ie super girly, etc). I know I’m oversimplifying boys and their experience only because I’m not one, but I’d just be less worried somehow.
Either way I know it’ll be great but I am nervous about finding out just because I hope I have the reaction I want and the baby deserves - as silly as that is.
I've been nooding this since my appointment on Monday. At my appt, baby was measuring 13w4d when my EDD put me at 12w4d. The doctor didn't mention anything about changing my due date. Is that something they might change later if baby continues measuring ahead? Do I count myself as the 13w? The baby's measurement actually lines up with the date I had calculated before the first OB appointment. I'm probably way overthinking hah I know babies do as they please and come when they want! But my coworker was telling me with her last she had the same situation of being a week behind what she calculated and the doctor keeping the later date, but baby was born a week early on the first date.
Thanks so much ladies! Just hearing from all of you has definitely helped with the thoughts of being a boy mom The funny thing is, I was a big Tom boy growing up, into sports, most of my friends were boys, etc. So I know I will enjoy all of it. I think like someone said I may just have a little anxiety about being a mom in general...but I know I will learn and am really excited to see how life turns out! Counting down the months until Feb 2020! 😊
@babyroma I would assume your original due date unless your doctor tells you it is being changed. The same thing happened to me at my NT ultrasound and I assumed that meant my date was being changed. Turns out it wasn't. Guess I just have a big baby. The same thing happened to one of my friends who is due about the same time.
My ultrasound technician told me my due date was Feb 25th based on when I got my last period. She told me this will always be considered my due date. Since I know the day we conceived, I calculated it at Feb 29th which I would think is more accurate. Plus, at both ultrasounds appointments, the baby was measuring at Feb 28.
Shaving 4 days off is kind of freaky when they induce you 10 days after your due date! Does anyone have the same feeling?!
@mandk1233 I wouldn't be surprised in the least if I had a big baby. H is 6'6, I'm 5'10. We were both over 9lbs at birth! lol I guess part of me really just wants to have the baby on 02/20/2020, because I mean, that's such a fun date!
@babyroma that’s my date as of now! I was measuring a week ahead at one scan, the next was normal. I secretly think the tech got it wrong on the first one. No expert here but my sense is maybe they don’t change the date until later in the pregnancy?
@ktholysz for my first pregnancy I convinced myself I didn’t need a preggo pillow. With my second, I made it to month seven before borrowing my sister’s. This third baby, I am 12 weeks and just had one overnighted via amazon haha! My hips and back have been killlllling me especially at night but last night I used my new pillow (which is a big c shape one) for the first time and slept great, and I’m way less sore today. Totally worth it.
@charbabymama I’m having the same problem with my due date. They have me at February 17th based on the start of my period but I said at the dating scan baby should be measuring for a February 21st due date and of course baby did. They didn’t change it!!! I brought it up at my last appointment and all she said was “well we don’t have to induce until 42 weeks” my son was only a few days after his due date so I’m hoping this one will be on time or close. I told her I will bring it up again if we get close to that 42 week mark and she was fine with that. So frustrating that they did the dating scan and it doesn’t matter!
Anyone have super dry lips? I had really dry lips early on and thought maybe it was the estrogen pills I was on. It did go away but it’s back again and I’m off estrogen. I’m pretty well hydrated. Maybe I got sunburn on my lips? I don’t know! Anyone??
@charbabymama@ktholysz - the same thing happened to me. According to my LMP I would be due 2/12. With my dating scan they pushed me back to 2/16. Now at the NT scan they say I'm measuring ahead of that.
I am KEEPING the later due date! I do not want to be induced and I even though I have low intervention midwives at 42 weeks most providers want to induce. So I'm giving my body as much time as it needs to go into labor.
My first daughter was a breech c-section at 39w so I've never experienced labor and have no idea whether I tend to be early or late.
Me: 38, DH: 36 Married Jan 2008 DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18" so in love Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020
Is anyone dealing with an overwhelming amount of swelling??? I have PCOS and Hashi's but I was taken off of my Metformin once I told my endocrinologist I was pregnant. Now my poor engagement ring is STUCK. DH and I tried the floss trick and everything. I'm going to ask at my appointment today but I think I'm going to have to get it cut off .
@jvk2012 +1 super dry lips/ peeling... I think hydrated while pregnant is like 120oz water for me so I rarely reach that. 64oz and dry lips it is!
@leksiL I think that's brilliant. They told me the range of due dates from conception/scan and I picked the latest one possible for the same reason. Last time I went to 41 weeks and I cried every day "overdue" so this time I would prefer to just pretend I'm not overdue.
@brookert615 Have you iced it and held it above your head and greased it and tried all the things? I'm so sorry to hear this! I hope you get a lucky break in swelling and get it off without having to cut it!
@craftywitch Yeah we have tried all of the "tricks" including those! I was able to get my wedding band off which was a half size bigger using the windex method but the engagement ring is just STUCK. I'm hoping maybe the OB might have some other ideas. We did the oxygen mask strap trick at home but I'm sure they've dealt with it before and hoping they can help? I don't know! Thanks for the well wishes!
@leksiL obviously talk to your midwives (or maybe you already did). And sorry if you are already aware of this. But I know the birthing center where I work, we don’t ever induce previous csections. If they determine you’re a good candidate for a VBAC, you hope you go into labor on your own, otherwise they schedule a csection at a certain point. We don’t induce previous csections due to risk of uterine abruption.
@brookert615 I haven't noticed any finger swelling but my ring is one of the plain silicone ones. Plus it's already loose (I got sick of ordering new ones every time I lost weight). But I have had to loosen my fit bit strap. FX the swelling starts to go down on it's own as the humidity starts to drop!
Me:37 MH:37
TTGP since 07/2017
**TW** in spoiler
DX: PCOS, anovulatory, AMA
Femara X3: no response
Clomid X3: BFN (cyst and thin lining)
IUI (Dec '18) MMC
IVF (April '19) 9 retrieved, 7 fertilized, 2 normal PGT-A
@brookert615 oh no! I had a few scary moments with my engagement ring last pregnancy. Same as you, my band is a half size bigger. Thankfully, my swelling eventually went down. It was terrible in hot weather. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you that they don’t have to cut it off!
@daffodil_shoe I know a lot of people that are induced and successfully vbac. My midwife practice said they are treating me like a FTM and they have an 85% success rate. Different practices have different rules. My prior OB would not VBAC at all. Hopefully i don't go more than 42 weeks because I'd rather not be induced either.
Me: 38, DH: 36 Married Jan 2008 DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18" so in love Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020
@brookert615 oh man, that is such a bummer! My wedding band has never fit properly since after my first pregnancy. I can still wear my engagement band, so that’s all I ever have on. I hope they can find a way to get it off without cutting it 😢
@ktholysz@charbabymama@babyroma I’m having the same issue! Based on my LMP, I’m due on Valentine’s Day but I ovulate a few days late every cycle so I calculated my EDD as 2/17. When I went in for an US, I was measuring in line with 2/17 too but my OB didn’t change the due date. I know 3 days doesn’t matter much but I don’t love having valentines as my due date and it just bugs me that it’s incorrect, so I’m just using 2/17!
@nhh11 That's actually kind of funny because I'm on the other side! My LMP due date is Valentines Day as well and with the day I ovulated my DD would be 2/16. I measured on track with my ovulation date but I LOVE having a Valentines DD! I was so scared they would try and change it on me!
Okay, so I just got some Old Navy full panel maternity jeans yesterday. I chose full panel because I typically wear high waist jeans in non maternity(big butt probs). At first, I thought I loved them and was really excited to have clothes that actually fit (my one and only pair of non maternity jeans that still fit are getting worn out.) But then I started feeling like they’re falling down all the time and don’t offer any support. They fit perfect in the legs just waaaaaaay too loose in the waist and butt because there’s nothing there to hold them up like a regular waist line does. Is the loose waist something I’m going to grow into or should I return them? I just hate leaving them sitting in my closet but after 5 minutes they drive me absolutely nuts!!!
So my coworker is due the same day I am but she’s a STM. I want to get her a gift but what do you get someone who already has all their basics from the first baby? Suggestions welcome
Re: The Great Question Thread
Diagnosed with PCOS & Hashimoto's
Now that I remember, we did a baby shower in early December for a cousin who was due early January. This worked very well. People weren't too much into Christmas shopping yet and Christmas parties were just about to start.
Showers in my H's family are huge (50+ people). We usually invite guys too. Since we live in the tundra, we will certainly have to host it at a community center. We can't have 50+ people in someone's house. When showers are hosted in spring and summer, the guys stay outside and play games/talk. Not much of that happening when it's -10 outside.
10/2018: MFI (2 SA under 9 million/ml)
11/2018: HSG shows right Fallopian tube slightly damaged
1/2019: Husband diagnosed with grade 3 varicocele
4/05/2019: varicocele repair surgery
6/13/2019: BFP!!! EDD: 2/22/2020
7/18/2019: Total Motile Count at 3 months post surgery = 51 millions!! (number must be >20 millions to conceive naturally).
TTC #2
9/07/2021: BFP - CP: 9/10/2021
10/07/2021: BFP - CP: 10/23/2021
12/23/2021: BFP! EDD: 08/31/2022
I cannot wait to meet my little boy but I have to admit that I am scared of raising a boy (and my boyfriend doesn’t understand my fears). I think I initially wanted a baby girl just because I’m a girl and it’s what I know. My baby boy is going to be exactly what i need and I am so grateful for him already!
But does anyone else relate to how I feel? Any Mom of boys out there with some tips or encouraging words?
A friend of mine became pregnant unintentionally, and is now a single mom. She bawled when she found out it was a boy. But now that he is here she has told me multiple times “I don’t know what I was worried about, I can’t imagine being a mom to anyone else, etc.”
We all just figure it out!
Also don't feel guilty about disappointment - it is really common. Just remember that a baby's sex is not totally determinate on it's nature. My daughter also loves to play in the dirt, loves dinosaurs and can be really loud. My baby brother was always a sensitive little guy and wasn't loud at all. Part of the fun is seeing how your little one turns out - you have a role to play in that but nature has a big say too
Married Jan 2008
DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18"
Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
After talking to some (wiser) coworkers who have little girls, I have come to realize that I am putting too much pressure on myself (and the baby), worrying about traditional gender roles. The reality of it is, that my little girl and your little boy will be their own unique combination of you/me, our boyfriend/husband, and biology. The best thing we can do is wait to meet them and not worry about things that may or may not come to pass. Go with the flow and figure it out as we go. And, it's 2019: there are so many more resources out there to help us than our parents had. Like this message board, for instance.
Either way I know it’ll be great but I am nervous about finding out just because I hope I have the reaction I want and the baby deserves - as silly as that is.
At my appt, baby was measuring 13w4d when my EDD put me at 12w4d. The doctor didn't mention anything about changing my due date. Is that something they might change later if baby continues measuring ahead? Do I count myself as the 13w?
The baby's measurement actually lines up with the date I had calculated before the first OB appointment. I'm probably way overthinking hah
I know babies do as they please and come when they want! But my coworker was telling me with her last she had the same situation of being a week behind what she calculated and the doctor keeping the later date, but baby was born a week early on the first date.
Shaving 4 days off is kind of freaky when they induce you 10 days after your due date! Does anyone have the same feeling?!
I wouldn't be surprised in the least if I had a big baby. H is 6'6, I'm 5'10. We were both over 9lbs at birth! lol
I guess part of me really just wants to have the baby on 02/20/2020, because I mean, that's such a fun date!
I am KEEPING the later due date! I do not want to be induced and I even though I have low intervention midwives at 42 weeks most providers want to induce. So I'm giving my body as much time as it needs to go into labor.
My first daughter was a breech c-section at 39w so I've never experienced labor and have no idea whether I tend to be early or late.
Married Jan 2008
DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18"
Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020
Diagnosed with PCOS & Hashimoto's
@brookert615 Have you iced it and held it above your head and greased it and tried all the things? I'm so sorry to hear this! I hope you get a lucky break in swelling and get it off without having to cut it!
Diagnosed with PCOS & Hashimoto's
@lanie1000 That's great to hear you were able to get it off! Thank you so much!
Diagnosed with PCOS & Hashimoto's
Married Jan 2008
DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18"
Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020
@nhh11 That's actually kind of funny because I'm on the other side! My LMP due date is Valentines Day as well and with the day I ovulated my DD would be 2/16. I measured on track with my ovulation date but I LOVE having a Valentines DD!
Diagnosed with PCOS & Hashimoto's