The Great Question Thread

gerlam5

@Swiftlet  we did ultrasound, baby is fine. She says this can happen with the SCH. 

Swiftlet

@gerlam5 glad to hear it!

When are you all going to have your baby shower? I'm due toward the end of February but since there are two I'm expecting I'll be at least a couple weeks early. The problem is that puts us right around the holidays and I don't want to overburden people who will be partied out. (I know we touched on this before but can't find it!) What are you all thinking?

mandk1233

My best friend is planning to throw me a shower. I told her January because I am due February 1st. Our church will also throw us a shower, but they always wait until after the baby is born. I anticipate that will probably be closer to March. 

aleciaraez

This is my 2nd, so I’m not having a shower. If someone offers to throw a sprinkle, I think I’ll suggest mid January. I’m due mid February.

jvk2012

It’s our second so I don’t plan on a shower. We will probably ask anyone who wants to buy us Christmas gifts to buy us the few things we’ll need for the new baby. 

daffodil_shoe

@Swiftlet this is my 2nd, so obviously I'm not having a shower (or “sprinkle”) this time. But I think any time in the 3rd tri is fine. Could you aim for early December, before the holidays really get started? Especially since you have two in there, you definitely could go early, or potentially be on bed rest. I think I was around 32 weeks with DS when I had my shower.

Swiftlet

That’s a good idea @daffodil_shoe - I wasn’t sure how early was “too early”

babybelugaco

@swiftkey my mom is planning mine for early November. There are a few big factors as to why before anybody jumps me for it being super early. 
1- we live 300 miles from my family/where I grew up so theres a 5 hour road trip
2- the weather in Chicago (where we live) consistently takes a turn for the worst in January since dont feel comfortable with me being so pregnant then and driving in that
3- holidays and family weddings/birthdays/anniversaries are consuming December

optimism3

@Swiftlet - thinking early January. I expect any date in December would have lots of conflicts and although I feel like it’s a lot for people - not sure what else to do. My Mom is also getting surgery in late January so needs to be easier 🤷🏼‍♀️

A few FTM questions here if anyone has a minute. For the NIPT results, do they just tell you over the phone? I don’t want to find out gender before my husband so just checking. Also, on the genetic testing side of it - what results do you get? Is it just “high” or “low” probability? A percentage? Something I’m not thinking of? 

Last question that makes me laugh myself because I sound insane. Read that sleeping on the left side is best for blood flow. Is anyone actually sweating sleeping in the right? I alternate and assume it’s fine, but have been curious.

thanks all! 

jvk2012

@optimism3, with my DD we were told “low risk”. The dr sent me a message saying that and asking if I wanted to know the sex. When I replied that I did she sent it in a separate message which I opened with H. We haven’t received results this time but I imagine it’s similar since it’s the same OB practice again. 

The blood flow thing won’t matter until later. And basically your body will wake you up if there is a problem. Later I tried to sleep on my left but did switch it up. 

leksiL

@optimism3 we got our NIPt results via email and they looked like this . The first time (different practice) we got a phone call and I was luckily with dH when I got the call. For this time I opened the report and told him because I could not wait until we got home 😂 

optimism3

@jvk2012 thanks for that - and the reassurance about sleep! 

@leksiL that’s really helpful - thanks. And congrats on a baby girl! 

gerlam5

No shower here. Baby number 3 all boys I would say any time in tri 3 is good for a shower and better to do it earlier if you are a planner  

ibabyloveb87

We do sprinkles for second babies and I told my friend that November would be better to avoid holidays and people having to shell out money right after them in January. But we shall see. 

SamiMarie88

Anyone still dealing with pain in their breasts? This is the main and most annoying symptom I've had. It doesnt matter what bra i wear or if i dont wear a bra. They hurt. I have noticed they are bigger. Any tips on relieving or easing the pain? 
I havent had an ultrasound yet so going by LMP, Im about 12 weeks 4 days. 
TIA

daffodil_shoe

@SamiMarie88 I’m 14w3d and my boobs are still very sore. I’m normally a 32E and they feel bigger and heavier. Wearing a bra while moving around helps me, and if I’m just sitting on the couch I take it off. Not sure what else could be done. Putting ice on them?

SamiMarie88

@daffodil_shoe maybe im just not wearing the right kind of bra. Ice might help too. Im usually a 36 or 38 C and an XL in sports bras. Im gonna have to up my sports bra size soon i think. 

babybelugaco

@SamiMarie88 my breasts have been on and off sore still but it's my nipples that are doing most of my issues. They are soooo stinking sensitive!

SamiMarie88

@babyroma i wish it was my nipples and not the entire thing. Its mostly the sides of them that hurt both sides of each. Notice the pain more at touch or when the bra comes off.  

doodleoodle

@SamiMarie88 i would recommend getting  a larger bra without underwire

@babyroma my nipples are killing me too! It hurts to even let the water hit them in the shower

jvk2012

@SamiMarie88, last pregnancy I had H give my breasts massages. Nothing sexual at all but the massaging pressure made them hurt less. 

SamiMarie88

Thank you for the suggestions ladies. This has been the most annoying symptom of this pregnancy. 

mandk1233

 Add me as a +1 to the buy a bigger bra camp. However, everyone kept telling me to buy bras without the underwire and I have to say I disagree on that one, if you like underwire bras. I infinitely prefer the feeling of underwired bras and if you are wearing the correct size it won't dig in even with gigantic preggo boobs. But no matter whether you decide on underwire or no underwire, a bigger bra makes all the difference. I wish I had made the switch sooner; it would have saved my boobs a whole lot of pain. 

mandk1233

Also buy a bra for sleeping in, if you don't have one already. I find that if I forget to put it on, my boobs hurt like crazy every time I move in bed. 

rikiteacup

@leksiL what NIPT did you get? Thank you for posting that screenshot. It is very helpful.
@doodleoodle same with the shower. It hurts my nipples.

doodleoodle

@mandk1233 I’ve never had a problem with the underwire digging into me. Some of my most comfortable bras are plain, thin cotton, underwire bras, but when my breasts are sensitive it’s nice to have the support without the underwire. I may be biased though because since my first pregnancy in 2015 I rarely wear anything other than nursing bras.

leksiL

@rikiteacup no problem - we had the Natera Panorama test both pregnancies.

huskervbfan

My DH and I have decided to find out the sex of the baby, but that we are going to keep it a secret otherwise. When people have asked if we are finding out, I have said "we think we are keeping it a surprise" so that I am not lying. If certain people know that I know the sex, they will constantly try to pry it out of me knowing I am very against lying. The problem is, almost every time I have used that phrase, the follow up question I get is: "but you will find out and just keep it a secret?" 
Why?! Why would someone even think to ask that? I have never thought when someone told me they are keeping it a surprise that they would find out themselves. Is there a different way I should say it that would not get that follow up question? Thank you for any help.

jvk2012

@huskervbfan, I would just lie and tell them no. I would have also asked that follow up question because your reply sounds confusing. Just say you aren’t finding out. 

nhh11

@huskervbfan can you tell people that you and your husband are finding out but do not want to share with others? And if they pry, just reiterate that you don’t want to share and would appreciate if they’d respect that. You’re not lying by saying that and hopefully it’s a subtle but direct reminder that it’s a personal thing for you and it’s not their business. People are so nosy!

rikiteacup

@huskervbfan we are also going to find out and keep it a surprise. If people keep bothering you, you need to do the broken-record technique. When people are asking you why you want to keep it a secret, always answer the same thing: "We want to keep it a secret" "You'll know soon enough". Eventually, they will get it. 
ETA: the broken-record technique can be used in every aspect of your life. This is one of the best tools I've learned in therapy. 

ibabyloveb87

@huskervbfan I would just tell them you aren’t sharing. That’s not uncommon. It’s your decision and your news to share when you want to share it. Everyone else can just deal with it. 

I would have the hardest time not using the pronouns! Hence why I just tell everyone  

DDRRT1982

@leksiL how old are you?  My panorama results came back risk unchanged on one of results and after seeing your come back low risk I googled.  It normally says risk unchanged means they weren’t able to screen due to low fetal fraction, but mine was almost 10.  I was wondering if it age related?  I emailed my doctor and they are calling a rep.  

huskervbfan

Thanks everyone! I was trying to be vague with everyone mostly because my husband wants people to think we don't know too. I think the direct approach is the way to go now. I know and they don't and they'll just have to get over it. I am worried about using pronouns which is another reason we didn't want people to know that we know. I could easily say "she" and just say I've been guessing girl from week 6 as my excuse. 4 more weeks until we find out so I'll just trying to be optimistic about that and tell everyone else to shove it Haha

leksiL

@DDRRT1982 I’m 38 which is why the odds were high originally. I hope you get answers soon! 

charbabymama

I know exactly what you mean by not wanting a shower over the holidays. I want to avoid December and January too because it’s the holiday and February will be too late. I’m really wanting the last weekend in November. Is that frowned upon because it’s too early?

babybelugaco

@charbabymama
I think at some point you just have to do what works best for you! Just be weary of Thanksgiving! 

mandk1233

@babyroma I think you mean wary or leery. Weary means tired. 🙂

leksiL

@mandk1233 @babyroma I think we will ALL be weary at Thanksgiving When I was pregnant with DD I was 8 mos at Thanksgiving and for some freaking reason we hosted.

We will NOT be doing that this year!

@charbabymama - it's really up to whoever is throwing you the shower. I do not know if anyone plans to throw me one, I kind of doubt it and we still have everything from DD so we do not need one. BUT if we were to have a shower I would certainly suggest they pick a November date because I would have to travel and December and January are cold and icy. 

babybelugaco

@mandk1233 haha I totally did. I was weary in bed when I replied! 🤣