I'll kick this off. Those of you that arr planning to work after baby what are you doing for maternity leave? I have to start discussing my plan with my boss but I have no idea what I want to do. (I wish I could quit!)
@lappymom2019 I am a teacher so I have the luxury of having a longer maternity leave while getting paid. Officially, I’m starting maternity leave May 6 (one week before my due date). I will be taking 5 weeks of FMLA with short term disability assistance. My leave will end the last day of school. Then, I get to restart my full pay for the summer. I’ll go back to work the start of the following school year.
@mrskoz428 That sounds great! How old will the baby be when you go back then?
I can use accrued sick leave for the 6+ weeks needed for recovery. I am planning to drain my sick leave because I can't take it with me when I leave this job and I don't plan on staying long term. I am planning to work as long as the doctor says is okay. After that, I am entitled to the 12 weeks of fmla and can use vacation time or leave without pay. I am thinking of doing 6 weeks off (eta: in addition to the sick leave so going back at 3 months ) and going back part time for the rest of the year or until I use up the 12 weeks with a combo of lwop and leave. I am struggling with how to split up and maximize my time and it seems like that is what most people do so it isn't so jarring to go back to work.
As of right now I've decided not to work during my pregnancy 😭 (not an easy decision and I still may change my mind), but I really don't want to have to pay for two in daycare when I go back so I'm going to be applying for residencies when DS starts kindergarten next year. I realize though that this is a much different situation than yours. My husband thinks I'll be wanting to work as soon as I have the baby, but I had no choice last time but to go back
My husband just gave me shit for the state our house is currently in and is telling me I need to get a lot more done today. I have a massive headache, so I really just want to cry. He's not wrong, but I'm packing and cleaning this entire 2 story house all by myself and it's freaking overwhelming. Then add in zero energy, massive headaches, nausea, vomiting, exhaustion. It's just a really big job and I know putting it off isn't making things better, but I'm so annoyed that he doesn't seem to be even a little understanding. Well, aside from the fact that I basically did nothing all week last week and he didn't say a word about it. But still 😒 😩 okay. Rant over.
I feel you @eatinwatermelonseeds. It feels like my house is falling apart around me most days. I'm sorry your DH is giving you crap. I moved across the state at 34 weeks pregnant 4 years ago. Just focus on one task at a time and treat yourself to plenty of breaks. Little by little it will get done. Soon you will be in your new home and can focus on the much more fun task of unpacking.
@fatmonica thanks ♥️ I know he needed to say something, this stuff really does need to get done but I already feel like I'm failing so hearing him tell me I'm not doing enough just sucked. I feel like I don't have the energy in my body to do more but what I'm forcing my body to do isn't enough. It's just frustrating. I'm not frustrated with him, I guess more me. I don't remember being this miserable last time. But I was also 6 years younger last time, so maybe that's the issue 😩😂
@lappymom2019 I went back to work with my first two and I took off about 12 weeks both times. CA has short term disability and partially paid bonding time so that was really nice. I believe I could have taken another 8 weeks but it would have been unpaid and we couldn’t afford that.
Ivy: July 2010 | Stella: Dec 2012 | BFP#3: MMC at 11Wk's, July 2017 | Wyatt: April 2019 | BFP#5: Twin Girls due Sept 2020
I'm taking off 12 weeks for maternity leave and then returning full-time. I did this with DD too and it worked out great. I really like working and my job and I give major, MAJOR props to SAHMs because that shit is hard.
@peachy13 and @robyn2201 Thank you! You are making me feel better about my idea then. I think I am going to ask for 12 weeks then part time and if I go back full time sooner that is great, but I'll have the option at least.
@lappymom2019 I'm taking 12 weeks off after this baby and returning full-time afterwards. It's great that your company is allowing you to use the sick leave before the FMLA leave - lots make you exhaust sick leave/PTO while running FMLA concurrently. I think your plan sounds great!
@lappymom2019 if baby shows up on his/her due date, (s)he will be one week shy of 4 months. I could take an additional 7 weeks in the fall, but would exhaust all of my sick leave, except 2 days, which is just not realistic.
@sleepy33 omg, girl, that ring is beautiful! 😱 Congratulations!
I took off about 6 months last time. And then came back to a new job. Was not planning on it, but received an offer while on maternity leave. This time, I'm kinda screwed with my short-term disability, which is only 8 weeks, but puts me behind, so we'll see how long I can afford to stay off work. I'm trying to save, but it's so hard. I need to have a sit down with DH and we need to get serious, if I'm going to try to be off work for 6 months again. @sleepy33 congrats! (omg that took me 5 times to spell right!)
I am planning to take 8 weeks of my FMLA (which my boss technically doesn't have to offer as she only has 5 employees including me) and then working part time (Fridays and Saturdays only) for 4 weeks before going back full-time at 12 weeks. My husband gets no paternity leave and won't be able to take off much time all at once, so we decided that he will take off some Fridays to cover us for when I go back part-time. I wish I had signed up for short term disability before we started trying! @sleepy33 That is an insanely gorgeous ring! Congratulations!!!
@lappymom2019 I took 5 weeks before I had DD (I had severe depression and was advised to stop working) and then 13 weeks afterward. Luckily, I had enough sick and vacation time accrued to cover 9 of those weeks and had the other 9 covered by our parental leave programs. This time, I plan to WFH starting at 37 weeks and then take 16 weeks- which hopefully will all be paid by parental leave +sick+ vacation time (assuming I don't have to take a ton of sick time between now and then). Instead of taking the full 16 weeks, I may take 14 and then do 4 weeks part time.
Just to give you an idea mentally what the prepare for- the first 8 weeks, I was home with DD- there was NO way I felt like I could go back to work with and then slowly things got easier, she started sleeping more long stretches and was on a schedule, the feeding schedule was normalized, and I felt back to normal physicially and emotionally. By the time she was 11 weeks, I started to feel guilty because DH, DD, I were going out and doing so much fun stuff, maternity leave was feeling like vacation. We were able to take 3 road trips that last month and went house shopping with DD in tow. It was my favorite part of leave.
Congratulations @sleepy33 ! I was wondering when it was going to happen!
Haha, well I was lucky and got to design my own ring, pick out the stone, etc, so it's been a bit of a process. Now I get to work on designing the band to go with it, which is going to way more complex, but it's so much fun!
For an American, I'm very lucky. We get 6 weeks paid maternity leave, and then can take up to 12 weeks FMLA. I get 7 weeks of PTO per year as a benefit, and a lot of that rolls over because who can take 3 days a month off at work? Between the acquired PTO/sick time I can take 3 months off. My wife works for the same place and she has the same benefits so she can take time off whenever she wants within the first year of the babies' lives so right now the plan is for me to do the first 3 months and then she'll do the next 3 months. I dunno if I can handle twins by myself but I suppose if other women have done it I can do it too... I will beg my mom to come down a couple times a week to help me. I'll have to juggle my then-4 year old too. He'll be in preschool but it's just from 9 am to noon, leaving me with 5 long hours with 3 kids per day. Oy!
@lappymom2019 I'm taking probably about 4 weeks off while working a wee bit from home, then I take my baby to work for as long as I can manage. Last time lasted around 9 months, so we'll see how this one works out.
@sleepy33 awesome! I love that ring! Congratulations! I just met with HR right before Thanksgiving. Both DH and I work for the state so we both get the same benefits. We can take up to 6 weeks of sick leave (which is part of fmla) and have a total of 16 weeks fmla, but you have to have accrued leave to get paid for the last 10 weeks. There's also an option for approval to do up to an additional 2 months off payroll.
I figured out that I should be able to do about 12 weeks or a little more almost fully paid (maybe taking two days off payroll every two weeks). At that point, DH's field season should be winding down and he could also do up to 16 weeks (minus what he took right after the baby was born) or we do some combination during a transition where maybe I go part time and he does too.) Our biggest limitation is the amount of accrued leave time which we both don't have a ton of going into this. I accrue 5.5 hours every two weeks of annual leave and get 30 hours at the start of the new fiscal year (July 1) which is great, but I don't know if I'll be able to take the last four weeks (off payroll) consecutively with the first 12 unless we get a huge tax return boon that is cover is for a bit.
I think a lot of when I start leave will depend on how I'm feeling at the end. I'm open to potentially leave work a week or so before delivering. This LO is due May 30 (officially June 1), so maybe I'll take off starting at Memorial day or something like that.
@lappymom2019 the first time I took 12 weeks FMLA plus one week of vacation. DS was 3 months and 1 day old the day I went back to work. I was very lucky that my company at the time paid for 7 weeks of the 12, so I took 5 unpaid and then was paid the vacation week. I worked until the day I went into labor (felt funny but finished out the day, went into active labor that night) and it was a non-issue for me. This time around I have the summer off before the next semester of school starts so I'm hoping baby comes RIGHT after finals and then I have until day after Labor Day (basically 3 months).
I will say, I do wish I had taken a week to myself. I was sort of planning on giving myself a few days but then DS came early. It's a hard call to make, though, because I also liked having the extra week with DS when he was finally here but it would have been nice to rest guilt-free for the last time in my life haha
@peachy13 and @robyn2201 Thank you! You are making me feel better about my idea then. I think I am going to ask for 12 weeks then part time and if I go back full time sooner that is great, but I'll have the option at least.
I tried doing part-time for a little bit when I returned after having DD and it was actually more stressful for me personally because I hate leaving work behind and was trying to cram a full day into a half day/full week into a half week. I was much happier when I went back to full days/full weeks. Something to keep in mind too is pumping breaks if you plan to do that. 30 minutes every 3 hours or so def cuts into a busy work day. If you have any questions let me know! Best advice I can give is that everyone figures it out. Good luck
Me: 33 DH: 34 Married: Oct 2015 TTC #1: Sept 2016 BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16 BFP: 3/24/17 DD1 born 12/2/17 TTC #2: July 2018 BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
@sleepy33 congratulations!! It is a beautiful ring!
I will I’ll tell work this Friday and planning to take 12 fmla weeks plus hoping to negotiate using vacation/other accumulated time for another 4 weeks then will return full time. As FTM it is all overwhelming as we don’t have any family in the State and will need to assess daycare plus my work has me traveling internationally which will be tough for my DH
Im doing the same as last time for leave. Taking 12 weeks, I get 6 paid and I’m using sick time to get a 7th week paid so I’ll have 5 unpaid. My employer is great. We are a small company so they don’t legally have to do anything except hold my job. I’m really lucky. A friend just had a baby and she’s only doing 6 weeks bc her company doesn’t do any paid time and they can’t afford for her to stay longer.
Does anyone remember how old you were when you started shaving your legs? DD (10) has been bugging me about it for awhile, but once you start there is no going back. 10 seems so young to me, but she is hitting puberty much earlier than I did. I'm debating letting her start in April when she turns 11 so she can have a little practice before summer. I don't remember how old I was, but shaving is a pain. I don't feel ready for this stage.
@fatmonica I was 12, I believe, but I was a late bloomer
@expandcontract it's a sapphire! I was going to go with morganite, but the jeweler convinced me sapphire is much harder and will wear better over time. I'm not big on diamonds, though my band will probably have some smaller (ethically sourced) diamonds in it.
@fatmonica I wasn’t allowed to shave until I was in middle school and then I was only allowed to shave to my knee. As a person who has very dark body hair that was a huge point of contention bw my mom and me. I remember being teased for having dark hairy legs. 🥺 I would maybe ask her why she is interested in doing it and gauge from there what you’re comfortable with. It could be just a thing she thinks is fun or grown up but it might go deeper.
Re: Randoms week of 12/3
I can use accrued sick leave for the 6+ weeks needed for recovery. I am planning to drain my sick leave because I can't take it with me when I leave this job and I don't plan on staying long term. I am planning to work as long as the doctor says is okay. After that, I am entitled to the 12 weeks of fmla and can use vacation time or leave without pay. I am thinking of doing 6 weeks off (eta: in addition to the sick leave so going back at 3 months ) and going back part time for the rest of the year or until I use up the 12 weeks with a combo of lwop and leave. I am struggling with how to split up and maximize my time and it seems like that is what most people do so it isn't so jarring to go back to work.
Oh hey, I forgot this happened over the weekend 😬
@sleepy33 congrats!!!!!!
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
@sleepy33 Congratulations! Love that ring!
BFP: 10.3.16 | CP: 10.11.16
BFP: 12.14.16 | CP: 12.14.16
BFP: 1.23.17 | EDD 10.6.17 -- DS born 10.7.17
BFP: 9.9.18 | EDD 5.23.19 -- DD born 5.24.19
BFP: 9.1.21 | MC 10.1.21
@sleepy33 omg, girl, that ring is beautiful! 😱 Congratulations!
This time, I'm kinda screwed with my short-term disability, which is only 8 weeks, but puts me behind, so we'll see how long I can afford to stay off work. I'm trying to save, but it's so hard. I need to have a sit down with DH and we need to get serious, if I'm going to try to be off work for 6 months again.
@sleepy33 congrats! (omg that took me 5 times to spell right!)
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
@sleepy33 That is an insanely gorgeous ring! Congratulations!!!
Just to give you an idea mentally what the prepare for- the first 8 weeks, I was home with DD- there was NO way I felt like I could go back to work with and then slowly things got easier, she started sleeping more long stretches and was on a schedule, the feeding schedule was normalized, and I felt back to normal physicially and emotionally. By the time she was 11 weeks, I started to feel guilty because DH, DD, I were going out and doing so much fun stuff, maternity leave was feeling like vacation. We were able to take 3 road trips that last month and went house shopping with DD in tow. It was my favorite part of leave.
@lappymom2019 I'm taking probably about 4 weeks off while working a wee bit from home, then I take my baby to work for as long as I can manage. Last time lasted around 9 months, so we'll see how this one works out.
I just met with HR right before Thanksgiving. Both DH and I work for the state so we both get the same benefits. We can take up to 6 weeks of sick leave (which is part of fmla) and have a total of 16 weeks fmla, but you have to have accrued leave to get paid for the last 10 weeks. There's also an option for approval to do up to an additional 2 months off payroll.
I figured out that I should be able to do about 12 weeks or a little more almost fully paid (maybe taking two days off payroll every two weeks). At that point, DH's field season should be winding down and he could also do up to 16 weeks (minus what he took right after the baby was born) or we do some combination during a transition where maybe I go part time and he does too.) Our biggest limitation is the amount of accrued leave time which we both don't have a ton of going into this. I accrue 5.5 hours every two weeks of annual leave and get 30 hours at the start of the new fiscal year (July 1) which is great, but I don't know if I'll be able to take the last four weeks (off payroll) consecutively with the first 12 unless we get a huge tax return boon that is cover is for a bit.
I think a lot of when I start leave will depend on how I'm feeling at the end. I'm open to potentially leave work a week or so before delivering. This LO is due May 30 (officially June 1), so maybe I'll take off starting at Memorial day or something like that.
@lappymom2019 the first time I took 12 weeks FMLA plus one week of vacation. DS was 3 months and 1 day old the day I went back to work. I was very lucky that my company at the time paid for 7 weeks of the 12, so I took 5 unpaid and then was paid the vacation week. I worked until the day I went into labor (felt funny but finished out the day, went into active labor that night) and it was a non-issue for me. This time around I have the summer off before the next semester of school starts so I'm hoping baby comes RIGHT after finals and then I have until day after Labor Day (basically 3 months).
I will say, I do wish I had taken a week to myself. I was sort of planning on giving myself a few days but then DS came early. It's a hard call to make, though, because I also liked having the extra week with DS when he was finally here but it would have been nice to rest guilt-free for the last time in my life haha
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
I will I’ll tell work this Friday and planning to take 12 fmla weeks plus hoping to negotiate using vacation/other accumulated time for another 4 weeks then will return full time. As FTM it is all overwhelming as we don’t have any family in the State and will need to assess daycare plus my work has me traveling internationally which will be tough for my DH
My random- I cant stop eating carrots and green peppers DROWNED in Ranch lol
Im doing the same as last time for leave. Taking 12 weeks, I get 6 paid and I’m using sick time to get a 7th week paid so I’ll have 5 unpaid. My employer is great. We are a small company so they don’t legally have to do anything except hold my job. I’m really lucky. A friend just had a baby and she’s only doing 6 weeks bc her company doesn’t do any paid time and they can’t afford for her to stay longer.
@expandcontract it's a sapphire! I was going to go with morganite, but the jeweler convinced me sapphire is much harder and will wear better over time. I'm not big on diamonds, though my band will probably have some smaller (ethically sourced) diamonds in it.