Thanks for the input ladies. I talked with her and I told her I would teach her this spring so she could learn before summer and she was thrilled with that. (She hasn't been teased, she just was noticing her hair getting darker and didn't want to be self conscious about it.)
@fatmonica I think you're handling it well. I was 12, I think? I remember full blown fights about it with my mom, because I was getting teased. I had blonde hair, but a of it and I was miserable. She only let me because I had a bad day one day because I wished I had a dad and she felt really awful and was kind of like "well, I can't give you a dad, but you can shave your legs" 🤷😂
I found an app that will lock me out of all of my apps (including this one) and I've been using it today. I have a huge phone addiction and it's definitely contributing to my lack of productivity on the house front. So, the app is helping me put my phone down and get shit done. I feel really good about what I've gotten done.
Oh, also. I bought a book a friend recommended called "teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons." Her son is the same age as mine and he's reading 3rd grade level books, while mine barely knows his alphabet. I'm really hoping it'll help him. She said she did it 20 minutes a day 5 days a week and only did 40 lessons before he started progressing on his own. I know you're not supposed to compare kids, and DS has challenges her kid isn't facing, but I don't feel like I do enough with him either and I really don't think this will hurt. He doesn't get homework at preschool, so I could just do this after school for 20 minutes a day, and hopefully it helps get him reading at least a little by kindergarten next year (but admittedly I'm hoping for him to be a hidden kid genius 😂). Reading has always been a favorite thing of mine to do, so I'm hoping I can foster a love for books. Has anyone tried this? Or something else?
@eatinwatermelonseeds. I've heard a lot of great things about that book in the homeschool world. I have a copy, but ended up using something else. I may use it with DS2. I think anything you do consistently will definitely give him a boost. But-- don't worry about comparing him to other kids. All kids hit milestones at different times, including reading.
@fatmonica honestly I think it's more that I'm comparing myself to other parents. Admittedly, he watches way too much TV and I don't sit down with him enough. I want to be a better parent than my mother was, but I find myself doing some of the same things. This is a step I'm taking to be better. Hopefully.
@sleepy33 Congratulations! Your ring is beautiful!
@fatmonica Good for you for having an actual conversation with your kiddo. I don't remember when I started shaving my legs -- 6th or 7th grade -- but I do remember that I was so sure my mom would say no that I just refused to wear shorts to school for a whole spring/summer before she finally told me I could 😂
I get 6 weeks of short term disability, paid at 60%, and then I will do 6 more weeks after that. My company says that FMLA has to run concurrently, and that I have to use any sick/pto/holiday time I have, also concurrently. So I will be paid for 9-10 weeks of the 12. Because everything has to be used at the same time, and my boss will approve most pto requests or one-off work from home with a sick kid days, it doesn't really save me much to come back part time. And daycare for an infant is almost half of my take home pay, so we are really only losing a week or two of my pay.
@fatmonica I was in the second half of 6th grade when I shaved for the first time, and probably a year after that when I did it at all consistently.
@fatmonica I am very light skinned with blonde hair, so my parents didn't want me to ever shave. So I did it without anyone showing me how to and gashed a huge cut on my leg. I was probably 6th grade. How old is that? 11-12?
@SpaceBurger I can't believe you went back to work after 4 weeks. I dont know how you handled that. The one plus I can see is that feeding your baby is probably better than pumping. But I couldn't get anything done.
I keep forgetting that I'm at a new job with this baby, and I realize I might be able to work out some WFH/part time transition, if I run out of time/money during my maternity leave. My biggest reason for wanting to stay off work as long as possible is that I want to put off pumping at work for as long as possible. I pumped from 5 months - 14 months, and I wasn't a big fan. (Not that anyone is, I imagine).
I have a super important question. Okay, so it's not super important 😂 but is there a trick to cooking spaghetti so it doesn't all stick together and get hard? Am I doing something wrong?
@sleepy33 thank you. I don't know why I didn't think about that. I'm obsessed with spaghetti noodles with garlic powder, salt, and tons of parmesan cheese. I eat it pretty much daily. Sometimes twice a day.
@eatinwatermelonseeds I don't have input because we're not at that point yet, but it is so hard not to compare your child to someone else and I do it all the time which is so unfair to DS.
@DuchessOfCambridge it's SO hard. My friend's daughter is 5 months older than DS and in kindergarten and she's starting to read and is doing math and it's just SO hard not to compare them. But 5 months is a big difference and she has no delays. It's so not fair. But I do want to really start getting serious about doing more work with him at home and do whatever I can to help boost him academically.
@eatinwatermelonseeds silly question, but are you using a big enough pot/enough water for the amount of noodles you’re cooking? I find that the water gets too starchy if I don’t use a big enough pot and then end up with noodles stuck together or to the bottom. Rinsing your pasta once you drain it will help prevent sticking as it cools but I try to avoid that because I read somewhere (or maybe heard on a cooking show) that rinsing the starch off the pasta also makes your sauce not stick to the noodles 🤷♀️
@lappymom2019 I am lucky from a US perspective to get 18 weeks paid at my full salary. I believe I could take an additional 6 weeks unpaid which I am considering this time (did not do that last time but we're in a better place financially). DH will take 4 weeks off at the beginning, then probably use a week or two for a trip to visit our families (last year this lined up with Christmas but he just took PTO so we'll see). His last 2-3 weeks (maybe more?) he'll take when I go back to work but he gets 7 weeks total (1 at full pay from his company, 6 at a percentage from CA). My mom will visit us and watch the baby for 2 weeks, as well. Like @DuchessOfCambridge, I was able to work from home as well (although 5 days a week), although I had DH or my mom there watching DD while I worked. Instead of breaking to pump, I would breastfeed but otherwise I kept the door to our bedroom closed. DD was a week shy of 6 months when she started daycare which was perfect! My first day technically back at work was Dec 24 after my 18 weeks so my boss let me take PTO until the beginning of January and I did watch DD by myself for a week while "working" but that was a slow week and not feasible for me at all long term, really. I would LOVE to be able to figure out how to get to Jan 2 so we aren't paying daycare for two for almost half of December that we usually travel for Christmas during. but that's 7 1/2 months and I don't see how we'd do it. ETA: I think 18 weeks plus 6 unpaid plus having DH use PTO for vacation could leave him 4 weeks for once I'm back at work and 2 weeks from my mom. Gets us to Christmas and I can just take PTO then. Good to know it's possible if we decide we want to do it.
@fatmonica you seem to have an amazing handle in it. I didn’t start puberty until I was 12 and got my first period at 13. I didn’t start shaving until 12, for sure.
I am so thankful for the two hour delay to school today. We got so much snow and slush this weekend and overnight and the roads SUCKED this morning! I so needed the extra sleep!
@lovelybabybumpz I'm surprised it was only 4 weeks too. I could barely BARELY sit in a chair, but I am all on my lonesome across the street in my own office, so it's basically WFH. I also napped a lot with the baby hahahah.
@SpaceBurger yes, I'm shocked but amazed/impressed.
We just found out our friends whose wedding I thought was in July is June 2nd (got the save the date in the mail). It's a 2-3 hour drive away in Sonoma but the baby will be just over 2 weeks old if I deliver on my due date. I think we have to be a "no," right? I'm so sad to miss it, although since I moved out of SF 4 years ago I see her maybe twice a year (we used to hang out all the time).
@eatinwatermelonseeds I haven’t heard of the book, but just wanted to chime in that developmentally most kids start reading around first grade and that there is no rush. Read to him often, from all kinds of books, talk to him, answer his questions, take time to explore things he is curious about. If he’s interested in reading there is no harm, but if he doesn’t read until he is solidly in school that’s ok too. I’m a first grade special education teacher in an integrated classroom, the majority of my students (whether they have disabilities or not) make the most growth in reading between January and March of first grade. generally I’m happy if my kids come in with good foundations. Pre reading skills like building background knowledge (the more topics kids know the stronger their reading and comprehension is As they get older) and vocabulary, also letter sounds: zoophonics are great for building the letter sound relationship there are videos on YouTube.
As for Mat leave, I have 20 sick days right now, so I will get paid for those days unless I have to use them between now and then, the rest of the school year I am unpaid. Since I plan to stay out and go right into summer vacation it will end up being about 4 months if everything goes as planned, but I don’t get paid through the summer either. With ds1 I spent a month on bed rest before he was born and then 12 weeks after( i was paid for 6 weeks). With ds2 I worked until the weekend he was born and then was off 12 weeks (only 4 were paid), but my mom stayed with him until summer vacation and then I was home with him for 2 more months unpaid so he didn’t start with a sitter until 6 months. I am looking forward to having 4 months with this little one to build up supply for pumping and enjoy the baby stage as long as possible.
@eatinwatermelonseeds I was going to say something along the lines of @Stormiewinter. I teach advanced pre-K right now and several of my students have some sight words, can sound out words, are in the beginning stages of early reading (like my daughter in the other teacher's class), but none are yet readers. We'll begin working on early reading skills after the holidays. BUT, that being said, we're a private program, and the kindergarteners who come to our aftercare program aren't much further along. One thing we've heard a lot of parents at our school say is the public system doesn't challenge their kids enough after being with us for preschool. So reading at the start of kindergarten is not the expectation. I definitely think if your goal is making a bigger effort with your son, 100% go for it. But don't let it be a race to catch up with someone else.
@sleepy33 Congratulations!!!! The ring is gorgeous!!
@eatinwatermelonseeds reading to your child as often as possible is a great way to help boost them academically. Reading isn’t expected until the end of kindergarten, beginning of 1st. You could try really simple sight word flash cards (the dollar tree has awesome beginning reader resources). And let him talk about the books you read. Don’t just read and move on, talk and have a discussionc, even while reading!
That moment when your baby wakes up and cries really hard for ten minutes before soothing himself back to sleep but now you have allot the address baking from being scared your baby will be perma awake.
That moment when your baby wakes up and cries really hard for ten minutes before soothing himself back to sleep but now you have allot the address baking from being scared your baby will be perma awake.
So, the app that locks me out of my phone was a success today. I got DS's room cleaned and packed, the living room cleaned and packed, the kitchen cleaned (not packed), 2 loads of laundry washed, the dining room reorganized (it's already been mostly packed) and dinner cooked. Very productive day. We sign the final paperwork for the house tomorrow 😬
I have a super important question. Okay, so it's not super important 😂 but is there a trick to cooking spaghetti so it doesn't all stick together and get hard? Am I doing something wrong?
I stir it through out cooking with tongs to break anything up. I also add some oil and salt.
I have a surprise day off tomorrow and my parents offered to come over and help me with my mountain of chores since they know I have been so stressed out by it. At first I said no because I am "miss independent" and embarrassed and then realized that was stupid. I am so excited to have my house back soon. I really need it to feel sane.
I'm waiting for DS to wake up and then we are headed to meet a friend for a library play date. I need him to wake up pretty soon. He always seems to nap extra well on days we need to get out!
@lappymom2019 I’ll get 6 weeks (8 weeks for c-section) of short term disability with 60% of my pay, and I’ll use up whatever vacation/sick leave I have accumulated. I can take up to 12 weeks with FMLA, so I guess we’ll just have to see how it goes without a paycheck. I think I took 10 weeks with DS. I felt bad taking out of savings, but I won’t this time around 😂
@sleepy33 Yaaaay! Congrats! It’s beautiful! Super happy for you!!
Sorry I’ve been MIA. Grandpapa passed away Sunday morning. Breaks my heart into a million pieces for my husband. We have visitation tonight, and the funeral is tomorrow morning.. on my husband’s birthday. 😕 I know I’m probably overly sensitive about that, but I feel like his family could have tried to have it on a different day. He’ll be a pallbearer for his grandfather that he loved dearly on his birthday. No one should have that on their birthday. Granted he obviously wants to and sees it as the last thing he can do for his Grandpapa, but still, why would his parents not even think of that? Ugh. Sorry for venting. I’m emotionally and physically drained from this past week, and it bothers me how nonchalant his family still seems to be. I just hate it for my husband.
Re: Randoms week of 12/3
Oh, also. I bought a book a friend recommended called "teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons." Her son is the same age as mine and he's reading 3rd grade level books, while mine barely knows his alphabet. I'm really hoping it'll help him. She said she did it 20 minutes a day 5 days a week and only did 40 lessons before he started progressing on his own. I know you're not supposed to compare kids, and DS has challenges her kid isn't facing, but I don't feel like I do enough with him either and I really don't think this will hurt. He doesn't get homework at preschool, so I could just do this after school for 20 minutes a day, and hopefully it helps get him reading at least a little by kindergarten next year (but admittedly I'm hoping for him to be a hidden kid genius 😂). Reading has always been a favorite thing of mine to do, so I'm hoping I can foster a love for books. Has anyone tried this? Or something else?
@fatmonica Good for you for having an actual conversation with your kiddo. I don't remember when I started shaving my legs -- 6th or 7th grade -- but I do remember that I was so sure my mom would say no that I just refused to wear shorts to school for a whole spring/summer before she finally told me I could 😂
@fatmonica I was in the second half of 6th grade when I shaved for the first time, and probably a year after that when I did it at all consistently.
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
I can't believe you went back to work after 4 weeks. I dont know how you handled that. The one plus I can see is that feeding your baby is probably better than pumping. But I couldn't get anything done.
I keep forgetting that I'm at a new job with this baby, and I realize I might be able to work out some WFH/part time transition, if I run out of time/money during my maternity leave. My biggest reason for wanting to stay off work as long as possible is that I want to put off pumping at work for as long as possible. I pumped from 5 months - 14 months, and I wasn't a big fan. (Not that anyone is, I imagine).
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
Rinsing your pasta once you drain it will help prevent sticking as it cools but I try to avoid that because I read somewhere (or maybe heard on a cooking show) that rinsing the starch off the pasta also makes your sauce not stick to the noodles 🤷♀️
I am so thankful for the two hour delay to school today. We got so much snow and slush this weekend and overnight and the roads SUCKED this morning! I so needed the extra sleep!
We just found out our friends whose wedding I thought was in July is June 2nd (got the save the date in the mail). It's a 2-3 hour drive away in Sonoma but the baby will be just over 2 weeks old if I deliver on my due date. I think we have to be a "no," right? I'm so sad to miss it, although since I moved out of SF 4 years ago I see her maybe twice a year (we used to hang out all the time).
@eatinwatermelonseeds I haven’t heard of the book, but just wanted to chime in that developmentally most kids start reading around first grade and that there is no rush. Read to him often, from all kinds of books, talk to him, answer his questions, take time to explore things he is curious about. If he’s interested in reading there is no harm, but if he doesn’t read until he is solidly in school that’s ok too. I’m a first grade special education teacher in an integrated classroom, the majority of my students (whether they have disabilities or not) make the most growth in reading between January and March of first grade. generally I’m happy if my kids come in with good foundations. Pre reading skills like building background knowledge (the more topics kids know the stronger their reading and comprehension is As they get older) and vocabulary, also letter sounds: zoophonics are great for building the letter sound relationship there are videos on YouTube.
As for Mat leave, I have 20 sick days right now, so I will get paid for those days unless I have to use them between now and then, the rest of the school year I am unpaid. Since I plan to stay out and go right into summer vacation it will end up being about 4 months if everything goes as planned, but I don’t get paid through the summer either. With ds1 I spent a month on bed rest before he was born and then 12 weeks after( i was paid for 6 weeks). With ds2 I worked until the weekend he was born and then was off 12 weeks (only 4 were paid), but my mom stayed with him until summer vacation and then I was home with him for 2 more months unpaid so he didn’t start with a sitter until 6 months. I am looking forward to having 4 months with this little one to build up supply for pumping and enjoy the baby stage as long as possible.
Edited because fat fingers.
@sleepy33 Congratulations!!!! The ring is gorgeous!!
I'm waiting for DS to wake up and then we are headed to meet a friend for a library play date. I need him to wake up pretty soon. He always seems to nap extra well on days we need to get out!
@sleepy33 Yaaaay! Congrats! It’s beautiful! Super happy for you!!
Sorry I’ve been MIA. Grandpapa passed away Sunday morning. Breaks my heart into a million pieces for my husband. We have visitation tonight, and the funeral is tomorrow morning.. on my husband’s birthday. 😕 I know I’m probably overly sensitive about that, but I feel like his family could have tried to have it on a different day. He’ll be a pallbearer for his grandfather that he loved dearly on his birthday. No one should have that on their birthday. Granted he obviously wants to and sees it as the last thing he can do for his Grandpapa, but still, why would his parents not even think of that? Ugh. Sorry for venting. I’m emotionally and physically drained from this past week, and it bothers me how nonchalant his family still seems to be. I just hate it for my husband.
Everyone's different, but I skipped a wedding when DD was 3 or 4 weeks old and it wasn't even out of town! I let DH go by himself.
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019