Question Thread

PensiveCrayon

@tumbleweed-1 Ayyyyy we had this literal exact struggle. Then my son was born and almost died so H's mom was able to take advantage of H's anxiety about him to purchase the crib I didn't want. Because they were worried that, at 3 months old, he would somehow roll off the floor bed and hurt himself. In retrospect, this idea is ridiculous. He wasn't nearly that mobile at that age. Anyway, we didn't even end up using the crib back then because we lived in an open floor-plan apartment and I ended up putting A to sleep in the bathroom on the Dock-A-Tot (speaking of safety, hah) when he outgrew the bassinet because it was the only place that was dark enough for him.

But yes, when we moved I forged ahead with the floor bed plan and eventually MIL came to accept it and even apologized for being so judgmental about it.

But...(and I know you don't want to hear this, and I totally understand because I was there too, so you can just close your eyes and ignore this if you want) the floor bed didn't end up working out for us. Only because, I don't know. I don't know if A just doesn't get the idea of staying in bed or what, but he would promptly roll out and fall asleep on the floor. I got tired of him doing that for naps so I started putting him in the PnP, and then last weekend I ended up swallowing all of my pride and re-erecting the crib (he's 15 months and change). It's been just fine. (I still haven't told MIL though because I can't stand to hear her say I TOLD YOU SO!) That said, I am planning on getting an Ikea toddler bunk bed and sticking him on the bottom tier (which is actually just the floor) when #2 needs to switch to the crib. He'll be around 2ish years, which some say is too early, but I don't want to get two cribs.

So, TL;DR, if anything I'd say hey. If she wants to buy the crib, let her, and then just don't use it but have it as an option for if the floor bed doesn't work out for you. 

CecilB93

@tumbleweed-1 I'd definitely just tell her that you're not ready to start any registries yet, you've got plenty of time!! And typically people offer to throw you a baby shower, you don't plan those, so her asking you about that at 5 weeks is completely ridiculous. Maybe tell her when you're ready you'll send her a link to your registry and she can shop off it then? I do agree with PP that you'll have to nip this in the bud now or she'll just continue forever. 

Gwyneddlesliegrace

@tumbleweed123, we love Montessori floor beds. Ds2 is half in one, half in our bed. I’m very minimalistic when it comes to baby gear (and life). I think that makes people uncomfortable because we’re told that we “need” so much. 

My parenting style is so is so different than our family’s. It’s been a hard adjustment for them. I’ve found to just be firm and set boundaries.

rosebud332

@tumbleweed-1It is pretty early to be talking about all this, but maybe she’s just excited. The good thing about registries is people tend to stick to them, so hopefully she won’t veer too far off. One other idea might be to just tell her “We have the crib situation covered.” She doesn’t need to know it’s not a crib and will likely not buy you one if she thinks you already have one.

Jens_Hoes

@tumbleweed-1 I would try to kindly put your foot down, and have your DH do it if it is with his parents as opposed to yours.  Your registry is your registry.  Put on it what you want, and if she chooses to buy off of it, then great. If not, don't open it and you can always return it to the store (target and buy buy baby have really good return policies). 

I will say that all babies are different, and some things work great for some babies.  I was intending to use the swing for my daughter for her naps for so long.  After six weeks she refused to sleep in it. And it basically sat in my living room unused, which was annoying. So I guess be open to suggestions, but also firm when you feel you have made a decision. 

mckcak23

@tumbleweed-1 One of my good friends does the floor bed and she LOVES it. If that is what you want to try go for it. If someone buys you a crib personally I would return it and use the money to get something else. Or save it on a gift card and if you want to use it later to buy a crib if things change then you have the right to do it. Your monkey= your circus. 

omnommer

Happy Friday, everyone! Question for you all today: how do you stop worrying about the chance of miscarriage? This is my first pregnancy. I haven't been super worried about it so far (in the back of my mind, but that's it), but today I can't stop worrying about it. Nothing's changed as far as things go from yesterday to today, so I can't see why I'm suddenly worried! I'll be so relieved when I hear the heartbeat at my appointment on Wednesday.

CecilB93

@omnommer I don't think the little bit of worry ever goes away. Now if it's really bad and your daily life/work is suffering, definitely talk to your doctor. We do have a thread that shows the chances of NOT having a miscarriage, looking at those numbers has been helpful for some! Once you start growing a baby bump, and especially once baby starts moving, it's a little easier. But then baby will have a slow day or may be sleeping, then you worry again. I think a little bit of worry is always present honestly, but again, if it's dibilitating in any way, it could be a bigger issue (anxiety, depression) that needs discussed with your doctor. Maybe try to focus on the positives? Easier said than done I know. 

omnommer

@CecilB93 Thanks for the thoughts! Today is definitely just the first day that I've been worried pretty badly, so hopefully tomorrow I won't be! I've also got less on my plate at work today than I have all week, so it might just be because I'm not as busy, lol. I have an appt with the doc next week, so if I'm still super worried I will talk to him about it. 

clbness

@omnommer Happy Friday!  I echo Cecil that the worry never truly goes away.  With my first, I was oddly confident and didn't have much anxiety.  I'm really not sure why.  It's normal to worry, just try not to worry yourself sick.  I think you'll feel much better when you get that reassurance on Wednesday.  Just try to hang in there and think positive until then.  You've got this! 

hkom

    @omnommer This is my first pregnancy as well and it is literally always on my mind.  It isn't affecting my day-to-day life or anything like that, but I constantly worry about it.  Like you, some days/moments are better or worse than others.  I think every stage of motherhood comes with it's own constant worries about things that are largely out of our control, so unfortunately it's probably something we are just going to have to get used to.  The way I see it, essentially every other mother in history has had these exact same worries and they have managed, so I can too.  But like @CecilB93 said, if it is starting to affect your general well-being, definitely talk to your doctor and perhaps they can help.  Hopefully you will feel better after your appointment.

Gwyneddlesliegrace

For those worrying about MC, I used to work at a pregnancy center and we had a doctor who was a resident there. I remember being pregnant and panicking about MC with my first. She told me that statistically the chances of MC go WAY down at 9 weeks. I think like 60% or so, (don’t quote me, it’s been like 10 years.)

I always breathe deep deep when I hit 9 weeks. A bit deeper at 12, 23 (this is when baby can be “saved” in a NICU), 27 (3rd tri), 37 (full term). Having small milestones helps!

clbness

I have a question about video baby monitors.  I just had an audio one with DD and really kind of want to get a video one this time around.  But I actually want to get one with 2 cameras so I can put one in DD's room.  So, I guess my questions are:

1. What camera worked for you and why?
2. Is it goofy of me to want to put one in my toddlers room?  My reasoning was for when we transition her from crib to bed so I can see if she's getting out of bed to play.

Jens_Hoes

@omnommer
I try to put it in perspective.  Worrying about it won't change anything.  So I try to focus on things I can control, like not eating too much and making myself sick.  Going to bed early so I feel better.  Like others have said, as your pregnancy continues and once you can feel the baby move, it becomes less worrisome.  
That being said, if you have symptoms that make you think something is wrong (cramping, bleeding, feeling "off") call your doctor, most OB's have a dr line and can talk to you and have you come in if needed or just talk you off the ledge. 

kristah2

@clbness definitely not goofy. I would do the same!
I have a vtech one that does dual that I like. I also highly recommend the summer infant one. the screen is a good size and you can watch 1 camera, 2 or split screen which is awesome. Plus you can actually move the monitor from the parent unit which might be helpful if your toddler does get out of bed and you want to move the camera to see what they are doing. 
Some things I look for are temperature reading, talk back and ability to go to one camera or the other versus always split screen.
I was also a big fan of the timer to check how long the infant is sleeping but not necessary. 

omnommer

@clbness @hkom Thanks for the thoughts! It definitely helps to hear that I'm not the only other worrier! Also, yes, definitely hasn't gotten to the point of affecting my well-being - just kind of in the back of my mind more than I'd like. I wish I was oddly confident and not even thinking about it.   

PensiveCrayon

@clbness We have the Yi Home camera, which is basically a cheaper Nest cam. I love it so so much. It’s not a traditional baby monitor and is accessed via an app on your phone or computer, but it has baby monitor features like crying baby and motion alerts. We actually have 2 set up in A’s room and it’s very nice to be able to peek in on him when he’s playing alone, just to make sure everything is fine. 

texas_t

@Gwyneddlesliegrace Those are the milestones I look toward, too!

clbness

@kristah2 @PensiveCrayon Thanks for giving me a few options to compare, I appreciate it!

@omnommer You're welcome!  And the others are right about the worries continuing after birth.  I can't go to sleep until I check on my sleeping DD each night.  We'll always worry about our babes in one way or another, but that's one of the many things that makes us loving, caring mothers. 

antsangel1118

I'm 5w4d and my cervix feels pretty low and soft, and not super closed. I've been googling a bit and I saw some posts that say it can be completely fine, but has anyone experienced this? It makes me a bit nervous. 

katy0990

@omnommer I think some fear is normal. You are so attached to this little person that you cannot see and that is scary. As pp said, it tends to help when you feel movement and can hear the heartbeat st your appointments. However, the worry never completely goes away. I’m always concerned about my 2 year old. I think that’s just part of motherhood!

coco2787

@antsangel1118 your cervix should feel soft in pregnancy because of increased blood flow.  As far as feeling open, when you've had previous births it will never be completely closed after that.  Last week I had several days where my cervix was really low, which made me nervous, but I did a lot of google searching and can't find any evidence that it's a problem.  I've been checking it on occasion still and sometimes it's high and other times it's low or somewhere in between.  Bodies are weird.  

antsangel1118

@coco2787 thanks!! That makes sense. And I've delivered 3 babies, so I fit that bill. I guess I just never really checked or noticed with my 2nd or 3rd, but I guess since having had a loss now, I'm just a bit more anxious. But that helps!! 

donnawicks

Hi ladies just a quick question I go for my first scan tomorrow is there anything I need to know before going in? Any questions I should ask?

whaat

Moms expecting #3 and beyond (or maybe STMs who are due in the beginning of the month?) - when did you start to show with #2?

runrinserepeat

@whaat I started showing with #2 around 10 weeks, I think. It was crazy how quickly it started. 

PensiveCrayon

@runrinserepeat That's interesting. Right now (shy of 8 weeks, so I have time) I look at my belly and see the last ten pounds of my first pregnancy that never came off. I wonder how long it will be before it turns into a baby belly in my head.

runrinserepeat

@PensiveCrayon I mean I’m 8 weeks right now, and I’ve got nothing. No bloat. No belly. Nothing. I’m chalking it up to every time is different. I was also very very thin last time I got pregnant, and that’s not the case now, so I think that contributed to it. 

whaat

Yeah I can’t decide how much is pregnancy bloat and how much is good old fashioned fat. I also want to know if it will be obvious when I go to a wedding in a month. Probably.

runrinserepeat

God, I'm hoping I can keep this one under wraps until 20 weeks, so I'm really crossing my fingers that people just think I'm getting really fat. 

CecilB93

whaat said:

Yeah I can’t decide how much is pregnancy bloat and how much is good old fashioned fat. I also want to know if it will be obvious when I go to a wedding in a month. Probably.

Haha yes, I'm heavier this time than with DS, so I'm wondering when it goes from just being fat to actual baby bump. Also going to a wedding in about a month, which I'd be okay with showing, but we'll see!

k_m10

Hi all, waiting for a call back from my OB.
I went for my first appointment on Friday at estimated 5 weeks, 2 days. They did a blood draw. Just got a voicemail that my HCG was at 2,455, and they want to see at least 5,000 before doing a dating U/S. I’m not scheduled for an U/S until 5/16, when I’ll be 7 weeks, 7 days. They want me to come in for another blood draw this Friday and to “call back if I have any questions or concerns.” Um yes I have a concern.
Is this normal? I know they’re looking for rising / doubling levels, and that’s in the normal range for 5 weeks. It just doesn’t sound good that I have to go back in.

echo-charlietango

katem987 said:

I know they’re looking for rising / doubling levels, and that’s in the normal range for 5 weeks. It just doesn’t sound good that I have to go back in.

I don't think it sounds bad, just seems that they want to check your progress. Personally, I would love if my OB had me coming in for weekly blood draws because I want all of the information. ALL OF IT.

k_m10

@echo-charlietango They just called back. They said no cause for concern right now, and they can see me tomorrow. Basically they don’t want to schedule a dating U/S until it’s at 5,000+ because they def can’t see anything until it hits that. They want to make sure I get to that level. 
So I’ll go in tomorrow and see where it’s at. But talk about panicking.

wickedtiny

Re the worry ... with my DD pregnancies I worried a bit until my 7w scan and a little bit more until hearing the hr on doppler around 9w.  Then I was pretty chill, for the most part.  With DD1 I definitely worried more than I did with DD2.

This pregnancy I swore I wouldn't be a stress case and I wasn't; I felt pretty confident actually, until I had some wonky beta results.  Now I worry constantly that there will be no baby seen at my scan on Thursday.  I know that being stressed isn't good and that worrying won't change the outcome, but I can't help it. I keep telling SO that I will stop worrying if/when everything goes OK on Thursday.  I hope I am not lying.

k_m10

@wickedtiny best of luck for your scan. Do you mind me asking what happened with your beta results that made them wonky?
I totally understand what you mean about the worrying. I’m an anxious worrier by nature, not to mention a FTM. 

wickedtiny

@katem987 From 13dpo to 16dpo my doubling time was 116 hours.  But then from 16dpo to 19dpo it was 33 hours. 
13dpo: 77
16dpo: 118 | DT 116 hours
19dpo: 524 | DT 33 hours from #2 and 53 hours from #1

If I ignore the 16dpo beta everything seems relatively normal, but of course I can't ignore it. RE didn't want to do a 4th draw. He said, "I have reviewed the three lab results. The progesterone of 42 is great. HCG went 77, 118 and 524 on April 12,15,18. The overall increase is fine even if the rise from April 12 to 15 was low; the April 15-18 rise compensated. We cannot know if this is a healthy pregnancy until we scan, but the progesterone is very reassuring. Let's scan as planned and not bet against ourselves. "

Googled the crap out of it and find everything from blighted ovum to ectopic to vanishing twin and everything in between. I know I ovulated two eggs because this was a medicated, triggered and monitored cycle, so the vanishing twin theory has some merit I suppose, though I am not sure vanishing twin happens so early.  I guess I'll find out at my scan on Thursday.

k_m10

@wickedtiny I’ll be thinking of you. I hope everything is okay and the one day was just a weird fluke. It sounds like your progesterone level is good so that sounds promising. 
My nurse practitioner told me to stay off of Google - I’m also guilty of googling the crap out of the HCG level issue (all of which puts my 2,455 for 5 + 2 in the normal range). 
I’m thinking that I may just have overall lower HCG levels since I took a Wandfo test 2 days after my missed period and the line was so faint that I was second guessing that it was even there. I know some people pop on those days before they’re even late, so who knows.

texas_t

@wickedtiny and @katem987 Hugs and prayers and hoping for good reports for both of you!

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