Thanks, ladies. Just need to get a sense of where I need to stay (or how much I should be growing) for this first stretch. I know my OB was happy with about a pound a week last time... but again, that was quite a few pounds ago and I'm relatively sure that would be less than ideal this time
I have a question! I’m pregnant for the 4th time (one miscarriage this January), just wondering if any 2nd time or 3rd time moms are showing (bloating) super early?!?
I am 6 1/2 weeks and my pants are snuuuuug. I didn’t show until 20 weeks with my 1st and 16 weeks with my 2nd. I am struggling keeping pants done up at the end of the day... lol!
@musicalmommy3 Me! This is my second pregnancy and the first time around I was in my regular pants until around 18 weeks. Now in week 7 pants are getting so uncomfortable, and my stomach feels hard, although I guess that could just be gas. Overall I feel super gross.
@AGK2015 I recall in my last pregnancy that doc told me no weight gain is expected in the first trimester. I think they expect most gain in the last trimester? It's so freaking hard. I gained A LOT of weight last pregnancy.
Weird TMI question, so I apologize in advance. I seem to have some EWCM-type discharge today. Normal? But also H and I DTD yesterday for the first time in a while, so maybe it’s left over?
Me: 31 | DH: 31
Together since 2003 | Married 2010 TTC #1 January 2016 BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016 Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018 BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
Could be leftover semen, but wouldn't be abnormal if it wasn't. IME, there wasn't really a standard type of pregnancy discharge. Barring the stuff that would concern you normally (yeasty cottage cheese-y stuff, smelly stuff, bloody stuff), it's not something to feet concerned over.
Definitely a switch in mindset from tracking the consistency so closely to conceive, though.
@AGK2015 My OB and I chatted about this at my appointment today and she was very flexible. I mentioned I want to be careful not to gain too much this time (I'm still carrying 10 pounds from the last pregnancy and I was already overweight before then, and now I'm like 5 pounds into obese territory, boo) but she said to not stress too much in the first trimester especially. She had no specific first trimester target (I generally lose weight or maintain in the first tri because of nausea, so maybe that's why?) But she said don't stress now and just try to focus on healthy and slow weight gain once in the second trimester and beyond.
She was comfortable with me setting a 20 pound weight gain max goal overall (I brought it up) but she didn't want me to aim for ten or anything really low. (She normally recommends 30 pound weight gain.) I think there are general guidelines, but your OB or midwife might have his or her own ideas about it. I think as long as you focus on healthy eating and exercise they'll be happy.
Wasn't sure if I should post this in symptoms or here.. so I stuck with here. I'm right in between 4 & 5 weeks and have had some mild cramping for a couple days. I don't remember having cramping with my first 2, and granted I know that every pregnancy is different, it's just one of those mommy anxieties. Considering my doctor doesn't want to see me until 10 weeks, it just makes me nervous to do..well... anything.. I suppose this wasn't a question, just a get it off my chest because my DH just says "you worry about everything".
@musicalmommy3 YES lol... I feel like I already look 6 month pregnant with this bloat.
@bkcl629 Cramping can be normal as your uterus grows. I've had some cramping with this pregnancy and have been told not to worry unless it lasts an extended time and the pain "takes your breath away". I didn't have any cramping with my last either.
@bkcal629 I haven't had an appointment yet so I can't confirm everything is ok, but I'm 6w4d and have had cramping on and off since my 3rd week. I found it was the worst right around 4-5 weeks and then has pretty much gone away since then. I've been told it's normal as your uterus is expanding/the placenta is anchoring, etc. But if you experience bleeding accompanied with cramping then you should see a doctor. That's what my GP told me. Try not to worry!
@PensiveCrayon I haven't been experiencing EWCM but I've read that it's very normal!
@PensiveCrayon I totally had EWCM last week! I mentioned it somewhere and Dr. Google confirmed that it's normal.
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
Thanks for the reassurance ladies! The hardest is trying not to worry as you build up your list of questions and concerns until that first appointment.
What do you all think of this? A friend of mine told me she opted to have only two ultrasounds during her pregnancy after learning that they don't know much about the safety of the newer machines. I hadn't heard of this before. I have my first one scheduled for 8 weeks + 4 and now I'm a bit nervous about it. Thoughts?
What do you all think of this? A friend of mine told me she opted to have only two ultrasounds during her pregnancy after learning that they don't know much about the safety of the newer machines. I hadn't heard of this before. I have my first one scheduled for 8 weeks + 4 and now I'm a bit nervous about it. Thoughts?
I've heard this before and basically from what I understand the risk associated with seeing the baby and ensuring proper growth etc outweighs the risk of ultrasound.
I think a lot of it is preference and your doctor. I'll most likely only have 1 this pregnancy (at 20 weeks) Last pregnancy I had one at 10 weeks (due to pain), 20 weeks (anatomy scan), then I had 2 more growth scans (due to losing a lot of weight in pregnancy after having my appendix out) plus about 4 in my OB's office (to check position of baby).
Hmm. I have never heard of this, but I’m guessing your friend isn’t AMA. Cause then you have about a million ultrasounds, unless I guess you are seeing a midwife.
I had a 6 week, 8 week, 12 week, 20 week, 28 week, 36 week and then weekly after that.
I tried to fight the weekly’s after 36 weeks but loss that battle.
Me: 36, H: 37 FTM, 2 Furbabies married 03/17/07 lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC due: 2/15/17
@krob No, my friend was under 30 when she had all three of her kids. She also used a midwife and had home births for her second two, so maybe she had more say about when ultrasounds happen.
@kristah2 Wow you are waiting until 20 weeks! I'm planning to just ask for a very quick US next week. Limiting exposure seems like a good idea, but I am also very anxious and seeing a heartbeat would set my mind at ease a bit.
@kadeephd I read a little about this during my last two pregnancies. I'm all for limiting unnecessary interventions, but I will say that I think the peace of mind an early scan brings does outweigh the risks. I was more worried about the potential for later scans, especially if they were going to try to estimate weight and make decisions based on that, since that's not super accurate anyway.
With my first, I had three scans (quick in the OB's office at first appointment, dating scan the week after, and a/s at 20 weeks). With my second, I had four - same as before, and they also scanned me when I was admitted to the hospital to give birth to make sure he was head down. That was silly, and I objected because I knew he was head down (hello, baby booty pushing out the top all day err day), but they insisted. Again, I think knowing for sure they weren't going to try to deliver a breech baby outweighed the risks.
Having said that ^^, I was told that the only u/s I'll get this time will be at 20 weeks. And I'm kind of okay with that. I might opt into the n/t scan, but hearing baby's hb on the doppler at my appointments is enough to ease my mind at this point. I kind of feel like they all look the same at this stage anyway, so I'll just scroll through the pinned u/s picture post when I want to see what LO looks like
I just looked at the appointment schedule my ob gave me and there are only three sonograms listed, one for dating at 8 weeks, one at 12 weeks after you have had your blood work done, and an anatomy scan at 20 weeks. That doesn't seem too bad.
@ShilohRyan I'm almost 8 weeks with my first and not showing at all. I think I'm a bit bloated though. Maybe that's what is making it look like you are showing?
@kadeephd It is hard waiting until 20 weeks! But it's standard where I'm from, unless they deem an earlier one necessary. Like @runrinserepeat I'll hear the HB on the doppler every appointment and that is great reassurance!
ETA my doctor also delivered me. I trust if she thinks I need to go earlier she will send me. She's usually pretty cautious. I'll change to my OB around 28 weeks and he has a machine in office so I might get an extra one here or there but he tries to limit those unless necessary.
@ShilohRyan I wouldn't say I'm showing, but I can definitely tell that things are different. I've been measuring myself every week, and nothing has changed, but some days I feel so bloated that it looks like I'm showing.
@kristah2 I didn't realize the doppler alone was an option for checking the heartbeat at the dr. I guess since my dr is calling this a "dating scan" they also want to check the growth and make sure it lines up, which a doppler can't do.
I'm not sure if this is the right thread, but I have my first prenatal appointment tomorrow (after a painstakingly 3-week long wait). What questions should I have prepared to ask my Dr?
@kadeephd absolutely! a doppler will allow you to hear the heartbeat and check BPM but can't tell you how far along you are. A lot of doctors will use dating scans to confirm how far along you are. My cycles are very regular and I know the date conceived so my doctor doesn't think it's necessary at this point. Only time she will is if she finds my uterus is measuring behind. She will start measuring it around 10 weeks. If she finds the growth is behind (or ahead) then I'd be sent for a dating scan to make sure things are progressing properly and get a new EDD if necessary!
I was high risk with my first pregnancy so I got ultrasounds once a month for the first few months then every other week then it would have been once a week if I hadn't delivered at 35/36 weeks. I have switched practices for this one and I will get far less ultrasounds (unless there is a problem).
With my first pregnancy, I had at least 7-8 ultrasounds and he turned out fine. I had 2 early on for dating purposes because I ovulated late.I then had the standard 20 week anatomy scan where I was diagnosed with polyhydramnios. The rest were to check on the baby and the fluid, which kept increasing. I definitely wouldn’t have unnecessary scans, but if your doctor needs them to obtain medical information, I would hope that need would outweigh the risks.
I just read the article and I can’t say I’m overly concerned about it. I had more than the normal number of ultrasounds last time because they found a septum at my anatomy scan, and I presume I will again this time for the same reason. Another example of the benefits outweighing the risks. @kadeephd But before they found the septum, my doctor also did Doppler only except for the first dating scan and one other scan because of some spotting. So I think that may be standard practice.
@ShilohRyan a lot of noticeable bloating at this point is super normal (as is some regular weight gain), but your uterus is still quite low and behind your pelvic bone for another few weeks yet. People who know I'm pregnant have accused me of "showing," but realistically it's just bloat and when that goes down a bit I'll have a bit more time before I start actually getting the baby belly.
@kadeephd I've seen that. My read on it is that there's no real reason at this point to suspect that modern ultrasound technology poses any risk to a developing fetus, but that since absence of evidence is not evidence of absence, they can't say with certainty that it's 100% safe, yeah? I'm okay with that level of potential risk, especially weighted against the benefits. Maternal stress has demonstrably deleterious effects on fetuses, so if ultrasound technology helps alleviate that stress.... I've gotta make tougher calculations than that with virtually everything I do in pregnancy (says the woman on Zoloft, sipping her cup of coffee), so it's pretty low on the list of concerns.
That said, now I'm curious how many scans I'll have this time; my last OB was wand-happy, and I got an ultrasound at literally every single appointment from the first on up through the last (no Doppler for us). Different practice this time, and I'd be surprised if the same is true.
I have a question! I’m pregnant for the 4th time (one miscarriage this January), just wondering if any 2nd time or 3rd time moms are showing (bloating) super early?!?
I am 6 1/2 weeks and my pants are snuuuuug. I didn’t show until 20 weeks with my 1st and 16 weeks with my 2nd. I am struggling keeping pants done up at the end of the day... lol!
Oh yes. I swear my uterus has already popped. So normal.
What do you all think of this? A friend of mine told me she opted to have only two ultrasounds during her pregnancy after learning that they don't know much about the safety of the newer machines. I hadn't heard of this before. I have my first one scheduled for 8 weeks + 4 and now I'm a bit nervous about it. Thoughts?
For me, I am very cautious with u/s. Ina May talks some about limiting them. I will have a dating one, because my cycle length is very irregular and we need an accurate due date. I always do the 20week one, just to make sure everything is good with baby. After that, I avoid them.
DD1 | Jan 2009 DD2 | June 2011 DS1 | Oct 2013 ADD3 | Oct 2014 (April 2001) DS2 | June 2016 DS3 | Dec 2018
Hey all just wondering if the fatigue and lack of motivation will go away lol I'm about 8 weeks (will know for sure exactly in a few days) and I'm just so tired all the time I get up to do anything and I'm just exhausted in a few mins really missing getting up.and getting things done around the house without feeling like I need to nap again
@donnawicks typically by second tri you're energy levels will increase! But third tri you can be pretty tired/worn out again just from carrying so much extra weight in your belly, but in my experience not as bad as first tri!
Re: ultrasounds...with my son I only had the one at 20 weeks, the anatomy scan. This time I'm not sure. I saw a midwife with DS, but the Hospital I use no longer has them, so I'm seeing a regular OB. I know I'll be getting a dating scan since my cycles are irregular and I'm pretty sure I ovulated later than I thought, and of course the anatomy scan, but if I can avoid any unnecessary extra USs, I plan to. I think I'm going to add that to my list of questions for my appointment tomorrow!
@musicalmommy3 it's all bloat. As a PP said, your uterus is still hidden behind your pubic bone way low in your hips. Typically I think it stays low until about 12-14 weeks, then it starts to grow higher.
I stand by my statement that the First Trimester is worse than the newborn stage. You body is so effed up with hormones right now that you're physically being drained.
Are we using this one question thread for everything? I have a question about mine & my SO’s parenting ideas vs our parents’ & conventional “this is what you do because it’s what everyone does”. Hopefully this is the place for it. It’s in a spoiler because it’s long.
I’ve been looking into nursery ideas, and I came across Montessori floor beds rather than cribs. It’s a low mattress on the floor, and baby has the autonomy to get off the bed and be in their room. The room gets thoroughly babyproofed, and a baby gate goes across the open door.
We wouldn’t even be doing that until the baby is probably 6mo+. Baby would sleep in our room in a bassinet, cradle, or maybe a side cosleeper by the bed.
SO told his mom yesterday that we didn’t want a crib and she just kept saying, “eventually you’ll need one” or that “we’ll change our minds”. Our concern is her purchasing one for us despite our wishes, but also that these sorts of “grandparent knows best” battles will happen forever. Our baby has 7 grandparents (because mine & SO’s parents are divorced & most remarried).
How do you handle that sort of thing when you have kids? (Parents blatantly ignoring you because they were parents first & have more experience or some other adultist annoyance). Just graciously accept it and then not use it? Of course, I could also completely change my mind on all things parenting and I am open to that possibility.
Any personal experience with similar parenting clashes? (Doesn’t have to be about cribs/where baby sleeps specifically)
@tumbleweed-1 I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but it doesn't. Grandparents think because they raised us an we survived and we have't raised kids yet they know better and best. I struggled with this a lot with MIL. I decided with DS i was going to do BLW insteasd of traditional weaning. She made such a big deal about it telling me it's not right and she doesn't want to see it and we will change our minds and why mess with a good thing, etc, etc, etc. I struggled the most because when my plan didn't work and I had to go back to traditional weaning I was embarrassed and upset. (I am usually a really laid back mom. I had no real birth plan other then some instruction, I had a schedule cscection due to baby being breech and that was ok. I was going to "try" to breastfeed -- which I did for a year -- but I was open to the possibility it may not work) Because she was so insistent that my idea was stupid I was so upset it didn't work and it's horrible to feel like that. The best advise I can give is to try not to let it bother you too much. You know what is best for you and your family and even if your plan changes 1000 times and even if you end up doing what she said in the first place, try not to let it bother you. It's really hard. Make sure you tell your spouse how you feel and ensure that he is in your corner 100%. It's the only thing that helped me!
@tumbleweed-1 Maybe go about it with the kind of open mindedness you've already mentioned. I'd probably say something like this "Thank you so much for your offer! I'm really excited about trying the montessori method because I've learned that it can lead to x, y, and z. Could we table your offer of the crib and if this method doesn't work out for baby, we could revisit it? "
@tumbleweed-1With that particular situation I would make it clear that you’ve made a decision on this (once it’s final) and strongly suggest you’d rather have gifts a, b, or c. If she still gets it for you anyway, that’s her problem and I’d return it at that point and get what you need. I do agree that if she’s doing it already it probably will keep going and you’ll have to set your boundaries early.
Thank you all for your great ideas. I really didn’t expect this sort of stuff to start so soon. She started asking where we were going to register for supplies, asking about how many baby showers we’d have (comparing to SO’s step SIL), and just kept talking about baby gear that I think is a waste of money. Plus I haven’t completely decided on some things because I’m only 5 wks.
I’m a FTM, so according to many parents I don’t know what I’m talking about, but I was an infant teacher for 2 years, so I have a lot of experience with baby gear (activity seats, bumpos, boppy pillows, plastic & glass bottles, disposable & many styles of cloth diapers etc). I’m not going into this having no idea about what babies are/need. I just haven’t had one of my own.
Re: Question Thread
I have a question! I’m pregnant for the 4th time (one miscarriage this January), just wondering if any 2nd time or 3rd time moms are showing (bloating) super early?!?
I am 6 1/2 weeks and my pants are snuuuuug. I didn’t show until 20 weeks with my 1st and 16 weeks with my 2nd. I am struggling keeping pants done up at the end of the day... lol!
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
Definitely a switch in mindset from tracking the consistency so closely to conceive, though.
She was comfortable with me setting a 20 pound weight gain max goal overall (I brought it up) but she didn't want me to aim for ten or anything really low. (She normally recommends 30 pound weight gain.) I think there are general guidelines, but your OB or midwife might have his or her own ideas about it. I think as long as you focus on healthy eating and exercise they'll be happy.
@bkcl629 Cramping can be normal as your uterus grows. I've had some cramping with this pregnancy and have been told not to worry unless it lasts an extended time and the pain "takes your breath away". I didn't have any cramping with my last either.
BFP #1: 7/15/15, SB: 11/14/15
Rainbow baby DS born 9/29/16!!
BFP #3 3/26/18 | Due 12/3/18
@PensiveCrayon I haven't been experiencing EWCM but I've read that it's very normal!
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
I think a lot of it is preference and your doctor. I'll most likely only have 1 this pregnancy (at 20 weeks)
Last pregnancy I had one at 10 weeks (due to pain), 20 weeks (anatomy scan), then I had 2 more growth scans (due to losing a lot of weight in pregnancy after having my appendix out) plus about 4 in my OB's office (to check position of baby).
I had a 6 week, 8 week, 12 week, 20 week, 28 week, 36 week and then weekly after that.
I tried to fight the weekly’s after 36 weeks but loss that battle.
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
@kristah2 Wow you are waiting until 20 weeks! I'm planning to just ask for a very quick US next week. Limiting exposure seems like a good idea, but I am also very anxious and seeing a heartbeat would set my mind at ease a bit.
With my first, I had three scans (quick in the OB's office at first appointment, dating scan the week after, and a/s at 20 weeks). With my second, I had four - same as before, and they also scanned me when I was admitted to the hospital to give birth to make sure he was head down. That was silly, and I objected because I knew he was head down (hello, baby booty pushing out the top all day err day), but they insisted. Again, I think knowing for sure they weren't going to try to deliver a breech baby outweighed the risks.
@ShilohRyan I'm almost 8 weeks with my first and not showing at all. I think I'm a bit bloated though. Maybe that's what is making it look like you are showing?
ETA my doctor also delivered me. I trust if she thinks I need to go earlier she will send me. She's usually pretty cautious. I'll change to my OB around 28 weeks and he has a machine in office so I might get an extra one here or there but he tries to limit those unless necessary.
@kadeephd I've seen that. My read on it is that there's no real reason at this point to suspect that modern ultrasound technology poses any risk to a developing fetus, but that since absence of evidence is not evidence of absence, they can't say with certainty that it's 100% safe, yeah? I'm okay with that level of potential risk, especially weighted against the benefits. Maternal stress has demonstrably deleterious effects on fetuses, so if ultrasound technology helps alleviate that stress.... I've gotta make tougher calculations than that with virtually everything I do in pregnancy (says the woman on Zoloft, sipping her cup of coffee), so it's pretty low on the list of concerns.
That said, now I'm curious how many scans I'll have this time; my last OB was wand-happy, and I got an ultrasound at literally every single appointment from the first on up through the last (no Doppler for us). Different practice this time, and I'd be surprised if the same is true.
DD2 | June 2011
DS1 | Oct 2013
ADD3 | Oct 2014 (April 2001)
DS2 | June 2016
DS3 | Dec 2018
Due with baby blob August 2021
Re: ultrasounds...with my son I only had the one at 20 weeks, the anatomy scan. This time I'm not sure. I saw a midwife with DS, but the Hospital I use no longer has them, so I'm seeing a regular OB. I know I'll be getting a dating scan since my cycles are irregular and I'm pretty sure I ovulated later than I thought, and of course the anatomy scan, but if I can avoid any unnecessary extra USs, I plan to. I think I'm going to add that to my list of questions for my appointment tomorrow!
@musicalmommy3 it's all bloat. As a PP said, your uterus is still hidden behind your pubic bone way low in your hips. Typically I think it stays low until about 12-14 weeks, then it starts to grow higher.
DS2 due 12/12/18
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
I have a question about mine & my SO’s parenting ideas vs our parents’ & conventional “this is what you do because it’s what everyone does”. Hopefully this is the place for it. It’s in a spoiler because it’s long.
We wouldn’t even be doing that until the baby is probably 6mo+. Baby would sleep in our room in a bassinet, cradle, or maybe a side cosleeper by the bed.
SO told his mom yesterday that we didn’t want a crib and she just kept saying, “eventually you’ll need one” or that “we’ll change our minds”. Our concern is her purchasing one for us despite our wishes, but also that these sorts of “grandparent knows best” battles will happen forever. Our baby has 7 grandparents (because mine & SO’s parents are divorced & most remarried).
How do you handle that sort of thing when you have kids? (Parents blatantly ignoring you because they were parents first & have more experience or some other adultist annoyance). Just graciously accept it and then not use it? Of course, I could also completely change my mind on all things parenting and I am open to that possibility.
Any personal experience with similar parenting clashes? (Doesn’t have to be about cribs/where baby sleeps specifically)
I struggled with this a lot with MIL. I decided with DS i was going to do BLW insteasd of traditional weaning. She made such a big deal about it telling me it's not right and she doesn't want to see it and we will change our minds and why mess with a good thing, etc, etc, etc.
I struggled the most because when my plan didn't work and I had to go back to traditional weaning I was embarrassed and upset. (I am usually a really laid back mom. I had no real birth plan other then some instruction, I had a schedule cscection due to baby being breech and that was ok. I was going to "try" to breastfeed -- which I did for a year -- but I was open to the possibility it may not work) Because she was so insistent that my idea was stupid I was so upset it didn't work and it's horrible to feel like that.
The best advise I can give is to try not to let it bother you too much. You know what is best for you and your family and even if your plan changes 1000 times and even if you end up doing what she said in the first place, try not to let it bother you. It's really hard. Make sure you tell your spouse how you feel and ensure that he is in your corner 100%. It's the only thing that helped me!
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
I’m a FTM, so according to many parents I don’t know what I’m talking about, but I was an infant teacher for 2 years, so I have a lot of experience with baby gear (activity seats, bumpos, boppy pillows, plastic & glass bottles, disposable & many styles of cloth diapers etc). I’m not going into this having no idea about what babies are/need. I just haven’t had one of my own.