@midwestbaby I'm so sorry that you're in so much pain. I only had a second degree tear and it felt worse than my med-free delivery, so I can't even imagine what you're going through.
From my experience you're doing everything right -- lots of fluids, stool softener, and fiber. Rest as much as you can. I found that trying to do too much, too early, while standing up and moving around really slowed down my recovery. It sounds like your DH is already helping a ton, so keep letting him.
Also, although the ice packs and witch hazel pads are amazing for the first few days, remember to keep the area dry so that the wound can heal (I wish I had done that sooner). Lastly, keep taking ibuprofen to keep the swelling down. I had lots of pain from swelling when I missed ibuprofen doses.
Good luck mama, I feel for you and will be thinking about you. It does get better! So happy that your sweet Aria is here.
@lynnlove28 the laughing is the worst!! You know when you start giggling and you aren't supposed to be so it just makes it worse? That's totally me .. I'm just like please everyone don't be funny - it hurts too much and then it makes everyone laugh even more .. Ugh
@midwestbaby I had a c-section, but it also took me several days after leaving the hospital to poop. Have you been passing gas? They wouldn't let me leave until I did. I was worried it was taking so long, but everything was fine. Just keep up the stool softener!
Married May 2014 DD born August 2016 Baby #2 due December 2017
@midwestbaby I had a c-section, but it also took me several days after leaving the hospital to poop. Have you been passing gas? They wouldn't let me leave until I did. I was worried it was taking so long, but everything was fine. Just keep up the stool softener!
I finally went today! It wasn't so bad. I am definitely going to keep up with the stool softener though!
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Has anyone found anything worth using on pp stomach? I used berts bees belly butter while pregnant with each of my kiddos. Somehow I managed to avoid stretch marks with my first, but this time I have some very dark ones. I know there isn't much I can do, but just wondering if there is something that at least helps them fade?
I think I over did it yesterday with lifting things and being too active. (5days PP, last night) TMI, I had a good sized clot, soreness in my belly, and had the chills for about 10mins.
I started freaking out a little bit. 4am is always a good time for a freak out, ugh. But realized I probably just did too much yesterday and need to relax more today. I'm not soaking a pad and feel fine this am.
@tmk0325 I hadn't even thought about the fact that it might be worse with twins. I'm finally feeling normal now, but those first two weeks were so awful with the random crying and whatnot. So glad that seems to be gone. Question about your period... did your milk supply drop at all once you got your period? I've read this can happen, and I'm already under producing as it is... we're having to supplement with formula at night right now.
@court5608 When it spread to your kidneys did you have back pain? I've been having really bad back pain (around where my kidney is) on my right side and I'm wondering if it could be a kidney infection. I dropped off a urine sample at my Dr's on Friday and they put me on some antibiotics in the meantime until they get the labs back.
So I went to my follow up postpartum appointment today (I'm 6 days out). And I cried and cried and couldn't stop. I still can barely stand or walk or function. My midwife looked and said I probably would not be able to deliver another baby vaginally because of how extensive the damage is down there. Baby Aria tore me all the way through my rectum sphincter and vaginal wall. I guess it's so bruised down there and swollen that my midwife is putting me on some extra narcotics and an estrogen cream to help with healing. It could be a good 8 weeks she said until I am feeling better. I'm so discouraged and I want so badly to be able to get up and pick my baby up on my own.
It did make me feel a little better her reassuring me that there was absolutely nothing I could have done to prevent this. Baby was just positioned wrong and she said one little tip of the head on even a small sized baby can cause this delivery.
I also got checked for a UTI and am waiting back on those results because of back pain. (Thanks to the above ladies who mentioned your back pain, made me think to ask about it today). I'm thinking this could be all related to my recovery in general.
Does anyone have experience on this type of recovery? Or know someone who has?
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
I seem to get queasy every afternoon about 5 pm. I've been staying on top of eating plenty and snacking plenty, but by dinner, I can barely get dinner down because I feel pukey. 10 days post delivery, and on some pain meds but not too heavy duty. Anyone else?
I'm glad you were able to see your midwife and she had some suggestions for you. It is hard not to be discouraged. But remember, this too shall pass. This is not forever, and in time, the pain and bad memories will fade.
Your DD is lucky to have a momma like you. You'll get there, girl.
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
@midwestbaby I have no advice or anything to offer other than creepy internet hugs to you! I can't even imagine that kind of pain. Lots of T&Ps your way!
Thanks ladies. I think the lack of sleep is getting to me as well. One day at a time. @Lynnlove28@no more miss
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
@midwestbaby I am so sorry, fellow Sconnie. I had a 3rd degree tear with DS1 and that was pretty bad, but I can't imagine the pain you must be in. I really don't have any advice, just sympathy and creepy internet hugs. Listen to your midwife and your body. Don't overdo it or rush your recovery. You will feel better soon, though it feels like forever. A year from now this will all be a distant memory. Hang in there.
Thanks ladies. I think the lack of sleep is getting to me as well. One day at a time. @Lynnlove28@no more miss
Try and get some sleep as hard as that sounds right now. You are absolutely right in taking it one day at a time. I only had 2nd degree tear and it hurt like a mofo to even sit still. I can't imagine the level of pain intensity you are feeling right now. And if you feel like crying, let yourself cry it out! I found it more stressful to try and hold in my tears. With or without reason. At times, everything and everyone sucked around me.
I know it doesn't help to hear right now that time will heal (with lots of rest) but it really, really does. *Hugs*
I seem to get queasy every afternoon about 5 pm. I've been staying on top of eating plenty and snacking plenty, but by dinner, I can barely get dinner down because I feel pukey. 10 days post delivery, and on some pain meds but not too heavy duty. Anyone else?
I felt the same way around that time. It just passed after a week or so.
@midwestbaby My SIL had a really tough recovery after her first baby. She didn't have a bad tear, but her hips were seriously damaged (pelvic muscles tore during labor) so she couldn't walk for the first three weeks. It was awful for her, and it wasn't until she started accepting more help from both my brother and other family members, that she finally started to heal. I know we all want to be able to do it all, but it's so important to ask for and accept help. You need it for your body to heal! There's nothing wrong with letting others take over some of the responsibility, even if it means giving formula/bottles so that you can get some sleep!
I seem to get queasy every afternoon about 5 pm. I've been staying on top of eating plenty and snacking plenty, but by dinner, I can barely get dinner down because I feel pukey. 10 days post delivery, and on some pain meds but not too heavy duty. Anyone else?
I felt the same way around that time. It just passed after a week or so.
That gives me hope! I was so hoping I got done with nausea after having the baby!
@midwestbaby You are such a champ. Hopefully every day will feel a little bit better. I keep hearing people say that this is a phase that will pass--hopefully you'll be able to manage the pain through this temporary phase.
@midwestbaby My heart goes out to you! I am happy you saw your midwife and she was able to give you some things for healing and pain.
Have you tried using frozen pads with Aloe and Witch Hazel? I would ask DH or family member to make them so you don't have to stand or sit for too long.
Me (32) DH (34) | | BFP #1 4/5/12 | Natural m/c on 4/18/12 (6w1d) BFP #2 8/23/12 | DS born 5/3/13 BFP #3 12/6/15 | DD born 8/23/16 BFP #4 2/22/19 | EDD 10/28/19
@telicious2 We just made some up tonight. I didn't have any aloe, but we put water and witch hazel on them. I hope it helps with the swelling so I can somewhat sit again.
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
@midwestbaby FWIT I would have cried like a baby too. Sometimes when I read your posts about how you're feeling or what you went through I could cry from the unimaginable pain, stress and exhaustion that added on to what is already an exhausting, emotional and trying time. Having babies is incredible - but let's face it newborns are a lot of work and a lot of change! A total madly in love hate relationship with life. I don't have a clue on where to begin with advice. But one of my dear friends also had a 3rd or 4th degree tear can't remember which though I'm leaning towards 4th degree. And she took a lot time to fully recover. And like you the dr told her c-section next time. The Dr. Said there is no reason to chance vaginal after what happened this time. She nearly had to have some surgery down there. She said in terms of sex (which you may not even be worried about yet lol) that it took a few months to feel normal again and there was some pain with that. But she's totally excited to have another baby. So as bad as it was she isn't letting it stop her though she will definitely have a c section.
Hang in there! Cry as much as you want. I would cry and it would be long and ugly. This phase is hard enough. You're so in love and so tired. Learning how to be a parent, even me a STM I feel like a FTM lol it's been near 3 years since I did this last! And I think I blocked some of it from the exhaustion and emotions from last time!! In the end you'll always have Aria, she will always be your trophy from the entire situation. The whole reason for your suffering. And you get to have your beautiful baby girl and watch her grow. You will heal, and things will get waaaay better. The exciting awesome part is that babies aren't mobile day 1! So you aren't missing out on much if you need extra sleep, help, etc.... Just hang in there. Emotionally week 2 gets better. And by week 3 you're a new person.
@jacmkelley Thank you for taking the time to write such a long and encouraging post. I cried reading it this morning during a nursing session. I am not sure what I would do without this supportive board of women. It helps so much just to read about similar situations and not feel so alone ya know?
I'm glad to hear your friend is doing well after a similar delivery and considering more children. Right now I am in "no more kids camp." But I'm sure that's normal to feel that way.
As far as sex, my midwife looked straight at DH and I and said it could be up to 12 weeks before she recommends any sexual activity. Bless her heart.
I'm almost thinking I may be able to get my short term disability extended by two weeks because of the delivery.
I just have a whole new appreciation for moms in general. Especially moms with more than one baby/children. You are the real rock stars! And moms who have to recover at the same time. Being a mom is the most rewarding, emotional, and scary thing I have ever done. But when I look at her, I feel so proud to call her mine. It's a good thing God created babies to be so adorable!
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
@midwestbaby I'm so glad you can feel the sincerety through the Internet lol I seriously wonder sometimes if people can! I literally I have never utilized any online chat room or community. I stumbled upon this and didn't intend on using the boards whatsoever until I one day felt panicked due to a previous miscarriage and wondered if other women were feeling similarly. When I saw that I wasn't the only one I felt comforted. On top of that I'm totally one to over analyze and I know I wear out those closer to me do it was an awesome outlet to be able to talk to a group of other people who were over analyzing their pregnancies and worried too (haha sounds sooo fun). The feeling of being understood is just nice and the main focus is just to talk babies and that's nice too. It's a great place just be able to say everything you're feeling because chances are someone gets it or has something to say that can help. It's pretty awesome!
Edited because I wrote precious miscarriage (thanks auto correct) and I meant previous... #kindofawkward lol
@jacmkelley DH loves that I'm on here chatting with women going through the same thing. In a world where it seems there are less and less safe and supportive places, I am thankful for this one.
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Does anyone's pelvic area hurt really bad after sitting? Sometimes I'll get up and it is so painful to walk. That I end up doing this funky walk to get to my destination.
Also my lower back feels as if I have a huge bruise and hurts. I'm not sure if it's because of my epidural or what.
Does anyone's pelvic area hurt really bad after sitting? Sometimes I'll get up and it is so painful to walk. That I end up doing this funky walk to get to my destination.
Also my lower back feels as if I have a huge bruise and hurts. I'm not sure if it's because of my epidural or what.
Sorry to to be such a nag.
My lower back hurts too. I gave a urine sample the other day to make sure it isn't a UTI. If it comes back negative, I'm thinking your idea sounds like the culprit, epidural.
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Does anyone's pelvic area hurt really bad after sitting? Sometimes I'll get up and it is so painful to walk. That I end up doing this funky walk to get to my destination.
Also my lower back feels as if I have a huge bruise and hurts. I'm not sure if it's because of my epidural or what.
Sorry to to be such a nag.
My lower back hurts too. I gave a urine sample the other day to make sure it isn't a UTI. If it comes back negative, I'm thinking your idea sounds like the culprit, epidural.
Same! It hurt for weeks!! Still does occasionally if I'm sitting like I'm meditating or something. I felt like the back where they gave me epidural was bruised. It probably is bruised internally.
@midwestbaby I have been so behind here since being home with LO. I have not neen able to read birth announcements since being off work because this app is horrible. I don't know what you went through but just reading all of the recent posts catches me up a little. I am sending internet hugs and good vibes your way! Look...we aren't the last ones pregnant!
@jamiesc58 thank you I definitely thought I was going to be the last one pregnant, but I guess my intuition was wrong.
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Re: All Things Postpartum!
From my experience you're doing everything right -- lots of fluids, stool softener, and fiber. Rest as much as you can. I found that trying to do too much, too early, while standing up and moving around really slowed down my recovery. It sounds like your DH is already helping a ton, so keep letting him.
Also, although the ice packs and witch hazel pads are amazing for the first few days, remember to keep the area dry so that the wound can heal (I wish I had done that sooner). Lastly, keep taking ibuprofen to keep the swelling down. I had lots of pain from swelling when I missed ibuprofen doses.
Good luck mama, I feel for you and will be thinking about you. It does get better! So happy that your sweet Aria is here.
Married May 2014
DD born August 2016
Baby #2 due December 2017
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
TMI, I had a good sized clot, soreness in my belly, and had the chills for about 10mins.
I started freaking out a little bit. 4am is always a good time for a freak out, ugh. But realized I probably just did too much yesterday and need to relax more today. I'm not soaking a pad and feel fine this am.
It did make me feel a little better her reassuring me that there was absolutely nothing I could have done to prevent this. Baby was just positioned wrong and she said one little tip of the head on even a small sized baby can cause this delivery.
I also got checked for a UTI and am waiting back on those results because of back pain. (Thanks to the above ladies who mentioned your back pain, made me think to ask about it today). I'm thinking this could be all related to my recovery in general.
Does anyone have experience on this type of recovery? Or know someone who has?
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
I'm glad you were able to see your midwife and she had some suggestions for you. It is hard not to be discouraged. But remember, this too shall pass. This is not forever, and in time, the pain and bad memories will fade.
Your DD is lucky to have a momma like you. You'll get there, girl.
Lots of love coming your way momma.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
I know it doesn't help to hear right now that time will heal (with lots of rest) but it really, really does. *Hugs*
Sending lots of healing vibes your way.
Have you tried using frozen pads with Aloe and Witch Hazel? I would ask DH or family member to make them so you don't have to stand or sit for too long.
Me (32) DH (34) | |
BFP #1 4/5/12 | Natural m/c on 4/18/12 (6w1d)
BFP #2 8/23/12 | DS born 5/3/13
BFP #3 12/6/15 | DD born 8/23/16
BFP #4 2/22/19 | EDD 10/28/19
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Me (32) DH (34) | |
BFP #1 4/5/12 | Natural m/c on 4/18/12 (6w1d)
BFP #2 8/23/12 | DS born 5/3/13
BFP #3 12/6/15 | DD born 8/23/16
BFP #4 2/22/19 | EDD 10/28/19
I don't have a clue on where to begin with advice. But one of my dear friends also had a 3rd or 4th degree tear can't remember which though I'm leaning towards 4th degree. And she took a lot time to fully recover. And like you the dr told her c-section next time. The Dr. Said there is no reason to chance vaginal after what happened this time. She nearly had to have some surgery down there.
She said in terms of sex (which you may not even be worried about yet lol) that it took a few months to feel normal again and there was some pain with that. But she's totally excited to have another baby. So as bad as it was she isn't letting it stop her though she will definitely have a c section.
Hang in there! Cry as much as you want. I would cry and it would be long and ugly. This phase is hard enough. You're so in love and so tired. Learning how to be a parent, even me a STM I feel like a FTM lol it's been near 3 years since I did this last! And I think I blocked some of it from the exhaustion and emotions from last time!!
In the end you'll always have Aria, she will always be your trophy from the entire situation. The whole reason for your suffering. And you get to have your beautiful baby girl and watch her grow. You will heal, and things will get waaaay better. The exciting awesome part is that babies aren't mobile day 1! So you aren't missing out on much if you need extra sleep, help, etc....
Just hang in there. Emotionally week 2 gets better. And by week 3 you're a new person.
I'm glad to hear your friend is doing well after a similar delivery and considering more children. Right now I am in "no more kids camp." But I'm sure that's normal to feel that way.
As far as sex, my midwife looked straight at DH and I and said it could be up to 12 weeks before she recommends any sexual activity. Bless her heart.
I'm almost thinking I may be able to get my short term disability extended by two weeks because of the delivery.
I just have a whole new appreciation for moms in general. Especially moms with more than one baby/children. You are the real rock stars! And moms who have to recover at the same time. Being a mom is the most rewarding, emotional, and scary thing I have ever done. But when I look at her, I feel so proud to call her mine. It's a good thing God created babies to be so adorable!
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Edited because I wrote precious miscarriage (thanks auto correct) and I meant previous... #kindofawkward lol
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Also my lower back feels as if I have a huge bruise and hurts. I'm not sure if it's because of my epidural or what.
Sorry to to be such a nag.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18