**June TWW**

Spartanrd4

Lurking from WTO

Yay @coonmom!! So happy for you! 
@SnobunnieMel that chart is crazy for sure...I think the chart overlay feature is the death of me, I am always comparing past cycles to eachother and scrutinizing every symptom/temp.

Will continue to stalk/lurk all of you and hopeful for you and everyone still stuck over at WTO. Hope to be here soon!! 

dubcompanion

@MooFish2364 @BrightenMySky @brooklyngirl18 @roper2617 Thank you for the kind words and support

I definitely agree that therapy doesn't have to be for depression, and I should not have snapped at DH for mentioning it. I think I was just mad that he wasn't saying what I wanted him to say (even though I had no idea what those "magical words" would be and still don't.) He brought it up because I have been considering it in anticipation of being pregnant again; I am prone to anxiety issues and can foresee struggling. Plus, if we have another loss, it'd be helpful to have established professional support. I've been busy with last week's trip to Kansas, summer college coursework starting, and prepping for our upcoming trip to Alabama. Ultimately, it was good of DH to bring it up because it reminded me that I need to make seeking out therapy a priority this summer.

I do wish he could have brought it up during a less heated moment, but I fully understand that it might be weird to him to mention it when I seem to be doing fine. Also, he's a typical guy, in that he prefers to solve problems, not talk about feelings. If he thinks therapy is the answer, he'll bring it up, because it may be the only answer he can think of. You'd think I'd remember these things when I'm in one of my moods, but apparently my rational thinking goes *poof*!

dubcompanion

@SnobunnieMel Your chart gives me chills!! Eek! FX for you for a great Friday! Sorry, don't mean to feed into the crazies... ::bites fingernails::

MissPrint1219

~~~ Lurking from WTO ~~~~~~~
Congrats @CoonMom! Keep the BFPs coming ladies! :-)

lilylover27

@coonmom congrats on the BFP!! happy and healthy 9 months!

@snobunniemel your charts looks awesome! FX crossed for you!!

I was on the benched side but since we were NTNP and BD before my FF ovulation day I am joining in here. I loved reading all your posts and love that this thread is judgement free! Currently I am only 6 DPO and plan on testing on the 16/17 just to see if I can have a class of wine on our 5 year anniversary date on the 18th! We are also planning on hitting up the winieries too but of course will not be bummed if we can't! Caved and told DH about my obsessing and to my surprise he was too and he doesn't even look at my chart! By the 16th/17th I will be 14/15 DPO so of AF doesn't show up and my temps look good I will test! Also I am already with you guys on the SS! I have been feeling exhausted lately which was the first sign with my last BFP but this time can also be due to working out, who knows!

chloe97

@CoonMom Congratulstions!!

@snobunniemel agreed that looks like a great chart!

@dubcompanion sorry about the BFN. My due date is 4 days after yours. I cannot stress the importance of therapy in this process. For me, I need someone to help redirect my thought processes or I would go crazy.

rainbowturtles

Eeeee! Congrats @CoonMom !!!! I hope I have more BFP dreams for you ladies!!!

SnobunnieMel

When you are riding the pretty chart confidence high and your world crashes. Just found I am positive for 2 copies of the MTHFR gene mutation and that's probably what caused our second miscarriage. Starting medication ASAP in case I get a BFP hopefully we can hold on to it 

BrightenMySky

@SnobunnieMel yikes.  I am glad you found out now and can start meds right away, fx for you this cycle!

rainbowturtles

Oh no @SnobunnieMel !!! So sorry but glad you can start on meds ASAP  

brooklyngirl18

@SnobunnieMel so sorry! thankfully you are starting meds now. FX for you.

Wishilivedinflorida

Yikes @SnobunnieMel I'm sorry you got that news, but also glad you have some answers. Your chart looks super promising also, still fx for you! 

@dubcompanion I'm sorry about the BFN and also the approaching EDD. And I completely understand about DH's being not timely or what you wanted to hear. I've encountered that a bit as well. Sending hugs. My first EDD is in July, and I think once the month turns over, especially if I'm not KU by then, my disposition will change. For right now I try not to think about it. I hope you can look into therapy soon though, since you've been meaning to. 

@lilylover27 Fx even though it was NTNP! And happy early anniversary! 

AFM, I had a temp dip today when I was really hoping for more upward momentum. Deciding if I should test tomorrow at 10dpo or not. Maybe....depends on my temp tomorrow. I'm thinking maybe Friday or Saturday as originally planned would be better. I swear I'm only this crazy and indecisive when it comes to TWW, not IRL. 

lilylover27

@SnobunnieMel sorry about the news! Good that you can start the meds asap though! FX for you!

BornReady

@snobunnieMel Sorry for that news, but glad you at least know about it now. A blogger I read recently wrote about her experience with MTHFR. Here is the link to her post and a video that she had attached to it. In case you are up for some reading/viewing.

Femme Infertile

dubcompanion

@SnobunnieMel We're all rooting for you. I am also glad you were put on medication right away. 

@lilylover27 FX for you! 

@Wishilivedinflorida @chloe97 Thank you ladies. As soon as we return from our trip, I am going to contact a local clinic. I'm anxious, as I always am when I have to 1) call pretty much anyone and 2) when I don't know what to expect. But I'll power through, because I think seeking therapy will really help me in the months to come.

fivetimesnoluck

@SnobunnieMel I am sorry for the diagnosis, but glad they're being proactive about it. Curious, what protocol are you starting?

I don't chart, but if everyone else says it's good, then I believe them!  FX for you!

I have been staying super busy and it's a good thing. Nice to be distracted. (That said, Monday feels like it's forever away.) I have not spiraled into any SS (yet).

I feel everyone on the impending EDDs. My last loss was an EDD of June 30. Fortunately for me, we are leaving on our annual pilgrimage to the northeast on June 29, so I will be super distracted and busy with our friends, whether I am PG or not...  Big hugs to all y'all. xo


Edit to add an apostrophe. I was a copy editor in a previous life. Typos drive me crazy. If you ever see me edit, 99% of the time it's to fix a typo or a grammatical error.

SnobunnieMel

@fivetimesnoluck I am continuing my baby aspirin and I am being put on 15mg of L-methylfolate daily. I have read some people go one lovenox but she didn't seem to think that was necessary. I am gong to ask her again when I go in for my homocysteine level blood draw Friday 

roxgibbons

@SnobunnieMel I'm so glad you got those results and you are able to get on meds right away.  Your chart looks awesome btw and it's making me want to start temping again. 

roxgibbons

@dubcompanion I'm sorry for the BFN and the EDD coming up. It's really hard and such a roller coaster of emotions that only we can understand. Hugs to you

yolandamunoz

Wow @CoonMom congratulations!!! I hope you have a pleasant pregnancy!

i am lurking from the benched ladies board.

SnobunnieMel

Thanks for all the support guys. Just freaked out about adding one more stressor. It will make it that much harder to ever "just relax" if we do get pregnant again. Hate when the odds keep stacking against you 

catiecatp

Well AF isn't here yet - but job stuff (over in the check in thread) has been keeping my mind off of it pretty well. 

@dubcompanion - when we are emotional (sad, mad, etc) we don't think clearly. I'll put on my teaching hat for a moment. Many cognitive theorists propose that we have a certain amount of cognitive capacity - some tasks are high load and use up more of that capacity and some are low load and use up less of that capacity (think driving once it has become an automatic behaviour = low load versus when we started driving and it was more of a controlled process = high load). Emotions are a load on our capacity to make decisions. There is also a really neat study that I call the "chocolate cake study" that relates to it. I'll attach a photo of the section in my textbook - it is really neat - and again shows that when we have a cognitive load it impacts our ability to make other decisions. What I'm trying to say is that it is hard to remember truths and things that we know when we are emotional.

dubcompanion

Thank you for a lovely, incredibly insightful response, @catiecatp. I am endlessly fascinated by the human mind and our emotions. I haven't heard of the "chocolate cake study." What textbook is this from? 

Sometimes I feel like a fake, because I teach special education and work with students exhibiting emotional/behavioral disorders and poor coping skills. I should know to not immediately attack my husband when rationally, I know he means well. I really like the chocolate cake study, because it correlates so well with my struggles to listen to my voice of reason in a moment of despair. 

Wishilivedinflorida

Temp went back up this morning so I caved and tested. BFN on an FRER. I know I'm not completely out at 10 dpo but I feel out. I think this is the most wicked PMS I've ever had. I'm going to hang out here until AF if that's ok with you guys. 

catiecatp

That is from Psychology Around Us - 2nd Canadian Edition by Comer Ogden Boyes and Gould - I love it too - talk about it in as many of my classes as possible because it is fun AND insightful. I have other favourites that relate to distracted driving and study techniques too...

In case you want to look up the original study - the citation is apparently

Ferraro, Shiv & Bettman 2005 - let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we shall die:  effects of mortality salience and self-esteem on self-regulation in consumer choice - journal of consumer research 32, 65-75.

But that doesn't sound quite right in terms of title so I'll go look up the original when I get in to work and will edit this if it is inaccurate.

EDIT - yeah, I was right, the citation in the textbook is wrong (off to email the publisher) - the right one is 

Shiv &  Fedorikhin (1999) - Heart and mind in conflict: the interplay of affect and cognition in consumer decision making - journal of consumer research volume 26, edition 3 - pages 278-292    

catiecatp

In other news 15-16DPO and still no AF - was planning to test tomorrow but am terrified and may wait until Saturday/Sunday. I suppose that is new insight into why I can avoid POAS

roper2617

I'm officially out. Slightly disappointed but I was also expecting to be out after my negative FRER in Tuesday, just had to wait for AF to confirm. DH is working again and because of his work schedule this current cycle is the only time we even have a possible chance of conceiving before October. No pressure! But first, back to WTO for this girl. 
FX for all of you! 

SnobunnieMel

@catiecatp I am envious of your will power. You are stronger than most of us to keep holding out

catiecatp

@SnobunnieMel - also terrified - especially given the changes that hopefully will be happening in August. I suppose that means it is more likely to be happening then - as stated in the weekly check in thread, if it feels like a good time then it won't happen... I'm not saying this is a bad time, but it was feeling like a better time about 24 hours ago.

It is currently looking as if there will be a period of 2-4 weeks where I will be in San Antonio alone with the cats and DH will be here in Canada. What if something happens and I need to go to the hospital? What if I have another miscarriage and he isn't there? These thoughts kept me awake last night... And then there is the health insurance stuff - first off, having to pay for things that I think no one should have to pay for. But also 60 days before my work benefits kick in - which means we have to get temporary coverage, but... 

And on top of that I had light cramping yesterday so I'm still trying to protect myself from the disappointment of a BFN.

JDMRS

@roper2617 sorry you're out. 
@catiecatp I hate night thoughts.  They are so weird, dark and can be so very scary.
@SnobunnieMel I just so desperately want you to catch a break for once. FX for you. 

Some friends of ours just announced that they are expecting and it just overwhelmed us both. DH is normally stoic and last night, he was very open with me. We BD'ed one more time for good measure (OPK+ positive yesterday morning and my chart was blown out because of the fever last week).  

BrightenMySky

@roper2617 sorry you're out.  

@catiecatp I lurked in the weekly thread...congrats on the upcoming move.  We've spent some time in San Antonio to visit DH's family and it seems nice.  Some fun outdoor stuff.  The health insurance stuff is quite frustrating, totally get that.  

catiecatp

@JDMRS - I'm sorry you got overwhelmed, it can be hard to TTCAL. 

Wishilivedinflorida

@catiecatp I'm sorry you have all of these worries, and every one is completely legitimate, too! I'm in awe that you have kept your cool thus far and haven't POAS. You are one strong lady to be considering these big life changes and be in the midst of TTCAL. I'm hoping everything works out smoothly in all areas where you're struggling. I also wanted to thank you for sharing those textbook passages! I was a psych minor in college by default because I was required to pick up a minor and that was the easiest one to complete based on my credit/course load. I wish sometimes I would have buckled down and double majored, because I ended up loving the courses I did take. Stuff like the study you shared is right up my alley.

ETA: Hugs for @JDMRS.  I totally understand that feeling. I've had that happen to me at the worst time.

dubcompanion

@catiecatp Thanks for the sources! I especially love studies of attachment and bonding. I was adopted when I was a year old and often wonder how that's impacted my relationship with others and my coping skills. I have a great relationship with my parents, but I have strong fears of abandonment and have for as long as I can remember. Sorry, I'm off TTCAL topic now, but in sum, I love reading psychology studies even just for fun. 

Back to TTC - I'm officially out. The two small bright sides are that AF only spotted about a couple hours (rather than a couple days) before opening the floodgates, and also - considering I didn't temp or do OPKs this month - I did a nice job of predicting when she'd arrive. Today would've been just about 14 DPO. ::self-loathing pat on the back::

@roper2617 Sorry to hear you're out as well. Back to WTO for both of us!

@wishilivedinflorida It ain't over til AF sings! Keep us posted!

dubcompanion

@JDMRS Love and hugs to you. I hope this is your month. 

Wishilivedinflorida

@dubcompanion Thanks. No further testing plans unless AF doesn't show, which should be Monday or Tuesday by my estimates. I'm sorry about AF showing. I have to agree that it's more ideal to just have the floodgates open at the start so it gets done and over with. Are you going to temp or use OPK's this next round?

BornReady

@dubcompanion Sorry about AF. This whole process if so hard. On the adoption front, have you ever read "Primal Wound"? My friend is adopted and specializes in counseling adoptees and their parents. She said it is the book that best captures the experience for her. I have read it for insight on working with my families also dealing with this and found it to be very thoughtful and a great resource. 

brooklyngirl18

@catiecatp that study is so interesting. i sometimes wish i could go back to my college years and choose to study psychology instead of history but hindsight is 20/20 right?
@roper2617 i'm sorry you're out  

i foolishly poas this morning at 9 dpo, obviously negative. why did i even do that to myself? i know it's too early but i did it anyway  send help.

catiecatp

@dubcompanion - I'm all over the place off topic with TTC - so much on my plate right now that I've been sharing. I'm sorry you're out but glad AF came the way she did.

@brooklyngirl18 - oh goodness I love psychology - and I stumbled into it because my brother is a psychiatrist and I wanted to know more then I had an amazing intro prof and changed majors after 1-2 classes. If you want some light reading I recommend the following book - each myth is a bite size read

https://www.amazon.com/Great-Myths-Popular-Psychology-Misconceptions/dp/1405131128/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1465480821&sr=8-1&keywords=50+myths+in+popular+psychology

SnobunnieMel

@brooklyngirl18 you and me both sister!! I can't stop POAS and then falling into a funk as if I actually expected a glaring line at 9dpo. 

Temp shot hit back up today so now my charts are exact copies. The tiniest amount of light brown in CM today has me freaking out both directions.