Random question for you all... When I announced my pregnancy at my surprise birthday party a month ago, a friend of mine who I knew had recently started trying shared that she was pregnant as well (about a week or two behind me)! This is a friend I see a handful of times per year and don't talk to super often in between, though we make it a point to catch up as often as life allows. Anyway, I haven't heard from her since the party and I've been dying to text her and ask how she's been doing. But I'm a bit hesitant for fear of the possibility of something having happened and not wanting to put the spotlight on it, if that were the case. (I have no reason to believe that something has gone wrong - just the realistic possibility at hand.) So, is it a social faux pas for me to reach out to her? Am I thinking too much into this?
Random question for you all... When I announced my pregnancy at my surprise birthday party a month ago, a friend of mine who I knew had recently started trying shared that she was pregnant as well (about a week or two behind me)! This is a friend I see a handful of times per year and don't talk to super often in between, though we make it a point to catch up as often as life allows. Anyway, I haven't heard from her since the party and I've been dying to text her and ask how she's been doing. But I'm a bit hesitant for fear of the possibility of something having happened and not wanting to put the spotlight on it, if that were the case. (I have no reason to believe that something has gone wrong - just the realistic possibility at hand.) So, is it a social faux pas for me to reach out to her? Am I thinking too much into this?
Nah, I would simply let her know you were thinking about her and were wondering how she was doing and feeling? If something happened, I am sure she will let you know.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
Agreed. Just a text or however you communicate to say you were thinking of her and was great to see her last month. How are things going? I think she'll know you're referring to pregnancy but will be a bit less of a trigger without asking specific pregnancy questions? This is what I would do or even "Hey I know how stressful the early weeks of pregnancy are, if you need anything let me know!"
I told my BFF today I'm thinking of her and wouldn't be pestering her about her pregnancy but to please reach out as needed and keep me updated. Wanted her to know my lack of texts was a respect of space rather than disinterest . If I had my way she would text me an update every morning lol
Thanks, ladies! I just texted her and she says things are going great! She's finding out the baby's sex on Sunday (not sure how, exactly...on a Sunday...at 13ish weeks) but exciting nonetheless!! I was overthinking things, as usual. Thanks for the reassurance.
My little guy is up in his crib. Singing himself to sleep and I just realized how excited I am for all of us, and especially for the first time mamas here. There's nothing like the love you experience for/from your little squishes.
My little guy is up in his crib. Singing himself to sleep and I just realized how excited I am for all of us, and especially for the first time mamas here. There's nothing like the love you experience for/from your little squishes.
Ok done being mushy.. time to eat!
So agree with this. My littlest was saying "ilubyuu mommy!" today and it was heart melty. There's nothing quite like squish love
Wife to A; Mama to C (2009), N (2011), H (2014) & baby F due 09/16/16
I'm going crazy. I swear I feel flutters and I just didn't think it was even possible yet (12 weeks tomorrow) with my first I noticed kicks at 20 weeks. I didn't have flutters that I recognized as flutters. So weird and so cool if that's what it is!
@mamadomino omg that looks so good! Culvers has the best frozen custard! And it doesn't upset my stomach like normal ice cream. I'll be stopping tomorrow after my sons appointment!
@mamadomino that looks SO good. I need that!! We don't have Culvers near me, but a turtle sundae sounds like heaven.
@AmMcc12 I'm so glad it went well with your grandparents!! How great to have him walk around and introduce you/share the news. They must have been so excited!!
I told my grandmother the other day, and she said "oh, that's wonderful", and then immediately changed the subject. Um, thanks? Casual news, I guess.
@diagonalley I think I felt some flutters yesterday. Im 12w4d and this is baby #2. I've heard subsequent pregnancies are often felt earlier, so maybe we aren't crazy?
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
@runningisrad- Even last pregnancy (my first) I thought I was feeling flutters super early like 12-14 weeks, but convinced myself it was just a muscle twitch/gas. This time I'm having similar feelings, and they're feelings unlike anything I have when not pregnant. Hoping it's the little bean flapping his/her arms/legs. I mean.. at 14 weeks the baby is 3 inches long - that seems pretty reasonable to feel? Either way, I want to fast forward to the big old kicks!!
Still working my way through Me Before You. I just keep it up online on my second monitor at work. Productivity is a thing of the past. The book's main focus is a really sensitive subject for me (I won't get into it for those who haven't read). I'm getting nearer the end and feel like the ending is inevitable and I just want to stop now where all is rosy and pretend it's the ending.
I still have to catch up on what I missed yesterday, but I have to mention that I slept so well last night. Went to sleep around 9:30 and didn't get up until 8 this morning. Only had to get up to pee once and fell right back to sleep after. It was glorious. I'm sure insomnia will be back tonight, but I'll take what I can get.
@diagonalley@runningisrad@AnnaS930 I'm 13 weeks today and swear the last week I've felt flutters that felt like what DD did at the beginning. They've freaked me out every time because I was sure it couldn't be baby yet. I'm all too happy if it is. For me, feeling daily movement is very reassuring all is well.
Also, when I go to tag someone now, my phone always suggests @AnnaS930 or @JennM205. I must tag the two of you more than anyone else. Haha.
I still have to catch up on what I missed yesterday, but I have to mention that I slept so well last night. Went to sleep around 9:30 and didn't get up until 8 this morning. Only had to get up to pee once and fell right back to sleep after. It was glorious. I'm sure insomnia will be back tonight, but I'll take what I can get.
Yeah! Must've been a good bladder night, I didn't get up once (I usually get up 4-5 times)!
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
Sparking from daycare and the one car issue we are now thinking of not only moving but buying. The original plan was 2.5 years more of renting (hopefully were we are) and then buy a house. We cannot afford one around here (DC metro is insane expensive) but we can afford to buy a 2 bedroom 1k square feet condo. After doing the math mortgage, tax and HOA fees will be the same or less than what our rent is now, we won't be in the this awesome area but I knew we could never afford to buy within 2 miles of here. Now where to start.... Pre-approved loan right? So, I want to move July-Sept 5th-ish when do I start looking? When you find a place how long does it take to close?
Still working my way through Me Before You. I just keep it up online on my second monitor at work. Productivity is a thing of the past. The book's main focus is a really sensitive subject for me (I won't get into it for those who haven't read). I'm getting nearer the end and feel like the ending is inevitable and I just want to stop now where all is rosy and pretend it's the ending.
@AnnaS930 Do NOT read the ending at work...say last 30-50 pages. It will not end well for you at the office. Just an FYI.
Sparking from daycare and the one car issue we are now thinking of not only moving but buying. The original plan was 2.5 years more of renting (hopefully were we are) and then buy a house. We cannot afford one around here (DC metro is insane expensive) but we can afford to buy a 2 bedroom 1k square feet condo. After doing the math mortgage, tax and HOA fees will be the same or less than what our rent is now, we won't be in the this awesome area but I knew we could never afford to buy within 2 miles of here. Now where to start.... Pre-approved loan right? So, I want to move July-Sept 5th-ish when do I start looking? When you find a place how long does it take to close?
@jhems776Loan/mortgage pre-approval is huge to getting a place and getting one to close quickly. Especially if there's other offers on the table, someone who comes with a pre-approved mortgage letter always gets the leg-up. So get your finances together, go to a bank or mortgage company and get your pre-approval. Also - my recommendation - know what you want to spend and ONLY spend. My husband and I were pre-opproved for $30-$40k over what we knew we'd be comfortable paying for. This happens a lot. So make sure you stick to the number you'll be comfortable with. I can't tell you how many friends or colleagues I've had who jump at the higher number, only to realize they have to count every penny every week because they didn't stick with the initial budget.
@jhems776 Yes, getting pre-approved for a loan is your first step. Also start researching realtors. Once we got our preapproval, we contacted the realtor we had decided we wanted to use for the next step. I'd say give yourself 3-ish months to find a place, though you could honestly look asap, just to get an idea what you do and do not like. You may find something right away that you love, but it could take a while. It typically takes 6 weeks to close, but you can ask for longer or shorter in your offer to the seller.
ETA: Have fun! Buying a house is so fun and stressful and exciting, all in one!
@jhems776 Not sure how different things work regionally but here in IL, we have the option of using mortgage brokers to get pre-approved (and then take us through the full buying process). They do the "shopping around" of a mortgage for you to get the very best deal. When you go straight to a bank, you work with them and them only - if you want to see how their rates/etc compare, you have to do all the legwork yourself and each institution will draw your credit independently, which can reflect poorly on your scores. If you work with a broker, they draw your credit and then share it on your behalf with each institution, compare everything for you and then present you with the best option(s). Their closing fees don't cost anything more than that of a regular bank (plus, they tend to save you money in the long run). So, long story short - try to find a broker if you can! If you don't know who to go with but have a trusted Realtor (or someone who was highly recommended by friends/family), they can usually recommend a broker to you as well.
When it comes to looking, start now! (Or as soon as you get pre-approved.) It's never too early to get an idea of available inventory, what you can get for your money, how far (or not) your money stretches in different neighborhoods, etc. Self-educating (with the help of Realtors, etc) really goes a long way when it comes to finding "the one" you're ready to commit to!
I finished the book. I was not a blubbering mess but I think I had detached myself from the characters at the happy point that I posted here about. I'll still see the movie - it was a good story.
Good luck in shopping @jhems776I love house hunting! I know very very little about buying a condo so I won't offer any advice, but I agree that you will probably get approved for more than you have budgeted yourself and to think twice about that. We stayed within our budget although approved for more and now with 2 car payments and eventually 2 in daycare I'm extremely happy we didn't go any bigger on the house payments!!
I love Harry Potter. I grew up reading the novels, I stood outside at midnight to claim my book and even waved a magic wand around Universal Studios in Florida. I've seen all the movies in theaters and wasted many hours of my young life trying to dissect who RAB might be, or whether or not Snape was ultimately a good or evil fellow. Harry is truly one of my best "literary" friends and the stories helped shape my childhood.
I love Harry Potter, but I truly HATE how JK Rowling just can't let things lie. She keeps coming up with new stories, movies and tidbits long after she claimed there would only be seven novels and that was it. I love the wizarding world, it truly is magical, but all this extra bull is ruining it for me. She's like an artist with a perfect painting, but she just can't stop tinkering with it and at some point it just turns out to be a big thick gloopy mess and I'm really sick of her messing up a story that is already perfection with her own, unnecessary add-ons.
@PoodleDoodleOoo Like you, I went to every midnight release of the movies (although they aren't really my favorite), waited a bookstore for 3 hours to get my pre-ordered copy of Deathly Hallows and didn't sleep until I finished it that night/next day, spent hours upon hours reading fan theories before the series was finished.
And I used to love JK Rowlings. But after the series finished, I've come to believe she's an AW that will say anything to keep her series relevant and in particular, in the news. The thing is, I'm with you... she didn't need to do anything to keep it relevant. People love it now, I'm sure our children will love it in the future. There's no need to keep changing things or doing 3 movies on freaking "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them". If she doesn't want to write any more novels about HP (the screen play does NOT count) then let it lie and let your fans remember things as they were.
I love Harry Potter. I grew up reading the novels, I stood outside at midnight to claim my book and even waved a magic wand around Universal Studios in Florida. I've seen all the movies in theaters and wasted many hours of my young life trying to dissect who RAB might be, or whether or not Snape was ultimately a good or evil fellow. Harry is truly one of my best "literary" friends and the stories helped shape my childhood.
I love Harry Potter, but I truly HATE how JK Rowling just can't let things lie. She keeps coming up with new stories, movies and tidbits long after she claimed there would only be seven novels and that was it. I love the wizarding world, it truly is magical, but all this extra bull is ruining it for me. She's like an artist with a perfect painting, but she just can't stop tinkering with it and at some point it just turns out to be a big thick gloopy mess and I'm really sick of her messing up a story that is already perfection with her own, unnecessary add-ons.
I agree completely. While I miss the magic and the anticipation of new book and movie releases, all the new stuff just isn't the same.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
Also, I am totally psyched about a new magical movie series coming, and the play, and whatever else comes out. I guess I'm the oddball! I don't think HP can be ruined for me. And it's probably hard to let something "die" that you have poured so much into. I imagine it consumes her life.
@diagonalley I guess my issue is that she's refusing to write any more of the series, is adamant she never will, but is still coming up with "shocking" new revelations and allowing new non-cannon movies and a screen play to be written. (She collaborated on these things, but didn't write them.) I'm to the point where I feel like shit or get off the pot already. Actually write something new for the series if you want me to believe you can't let it go and aren't doing it for the money/attention.
I have a random I'm totally ashamed of... Lately, I have been feeling extra self-conscious about my body. I feel like I'm showing way earlier than I did with DD and I can see the lost muscle tone all over my body from not working out for most of first tri...everything just looks flabbier now. There have been a couple of times that I've made comments to DH about my body while getting ready in the morning. Then, this weekend, DD all of a sudden started saying, "I'm fat," and "I look gross." She's two. Mothering fail. I want DD to grow up feeling strong and beautiful and not obsessing about her self-image. What a poor example I've been! Time to do better...for both her sake and mine.
@JennM205 Aw. That is my biggest worry about being a mom of a girl. I want the same for my daughter, and l know I complain about my appearance too much. She's too little to get it now, but I need to stop now before she can start understanding and repeating. I wouldn't say you had a mothering fail. You're pregnant and your body is changing, and you're already planning on not doing it again for her and for yourself. Don't be hard on yourself.
@JennM205- Sometimes it takes hearing it from a source you adore so much to realize just how hard you've been on yourself unnecessarily. She's perfect just the way she is, and you are too. I am right there with you, one day I wear the right outfit and I think "I'm so adorable with my bump coming" the next day I wear something that smooshes it and I spend all day thinking badly of myself and wishing my body was different (and being a grouch towards my husband because of how crappy I feel about myself). Think of the things you want your daughter to say to herself/feel about herself when she looks in the mirror and say those things about yourself!
@JennM205@camichael84 I agree it's not a mothering fail. The fact that you've recognized it now when your DD is still young enough to change her impression is so great. I'm definitely concerned about how to manage my own personal feeling about weight/body shape if I have a daughter. Or frankly, a son, too, since I'd hate to pass on either body issues or a culture of judging others by their body. Also, I am a habitual picker of acne/bumps/anything on my skin. I picked it up from my mother and have struggled with trying to stop since I hit puberty. I'm terrified of passing that habit onto my own kids, but I can only remind myself to try my best and not beat myself up too much when I slip.
My own random today is that I've started feeling these pokes and aches in my lower belly lately, and they're freaking me out! At 13 weeks, I know RLP is possible (plus any other number of growing pains/gas/etc. combos), but I don't know enough to self-diagnose. My PGAL brain is constantly on the lookout for negative signs, so this is stressing me out. I know to call my OB if anything gets worse, or if I just can't handle the anxiety. Right now, it's not painful or consistent enough to cause me any actual concern, but with my first major announcement this weekend, I keep picturing all the nightmare scenarios of making the terrible call to all my friends. I had great support from my closest pals last time, but it would be a much bigger crowd this go around.
The weather is fantastic today! It is supposed to rain the rest of the week, so I am going to leave work early (an hour or so) and go enjoy the nice day. It results in longer workdays the rest of the week, but I don't care. DS is really loving outdoor time right now - it is all so new to him.
@camichael84@AnnaS930@Jabreen Thanks. It's so easy to forget sometimes that parenting isn't just setting rules and making decisions and teaching lessons - it's being a good role model, too! It's weird for me but I've been trying to look in the mirror and say, "I'm beautiful," or "Look how amazing it is that my body is growing this little baby," out loud in front of her. It's kind of sad that it feels weird for those things to come out of my mouth but I didn't think twice about saying such negative things! I really hope I can instill a positive self-image in DD and, who knows, maybe I'll start feeling better about myself in the process!
@JennM205- I grew up with a mother who hated her body and made it very obvious and I've struggled with the same things even though I am now a normal weight, I just have a hard time feeling "good enough" and focus way too much on the scale. I don't know how I'd be if my mother hadn't been so hard on herself, but I'd have loved (and would still love now that I'm 28 and she's 55) to hear her say that she loves her body or that she's beautiful. It's never too late (especially with your little peanut) and the more you say it, the less awkward it will be to say it out loud. I'm going to start doing the same!
Re: Randoms Thread: March Edition!
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
Ok done being mushy.. time to eat!
This turtle sundae is borderline orgasmic.
DS1 -- 9/30/2016
@AmMcc12 I'm so glad it went well with your grandparents!! How great to have him walk around and introduce you/share the news. They must have been so excited!!
I told my grandmother the other day, and she said "oh, that's wonderful", and then immediately changed the subject. Um, thanks? Casual news, I guess.
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
Also, when I go to tag someone now, my phone always suggests @AnnaS930 or @JennM205. I must tag the two of you more than anyone else. Haha.
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
ETA: Have fun! Buying a house is so fun and stressful and exciting, all in one!
When it comes to looking, start now! (Or as soon as you get pre-approved.) It's never too early to get an idea of available inventory, what you can get for your money, how far (or not) your money stretches in different neighborhoods, etc. Self-educating (with the help of Realtors, etc) really goes a long way when it comes to finding "the one" you're ready to commit to!
Good luck and have fun!
Good luck in shopping @jhems776 I love house hunting! I know very very little about buying a condo so I won't offer any advice, but I agree that you will probably get approved for more than you have budgeted yourself and to think twice about that. We stayed within our budget although approved for more and now with 2 car payments and eventually 2 in daycare I'm extremely happy we didn't go any bigger on the house payments!!
I love Harry Potter, but I truly HATE how JK Rowling just can't let things lie. She keeps coming up with new stories, movies and tidbits long after she claimed there would only be seven novels and that was it. I love the wizarding world, it truly is magical, but all this extra bull is ruining it for me. She's like an artist with a perfect painting, but she just can't stop tinkering with it and at some point it just turns out to be a big thick gloopy mess and I'm really sick of her messing up a story that is already perfection with her own, unnecessary add-ons.
And I used to love JK Rowlings. But after the series finished, I've come to believe she's an AW that will say anything to keep her series relevant and in particular, in the news. The thing is, I'm with you... she didn't need to do anything to keep it relevant. People love it now, I'm sure our children will love it in the future. There's no need to keep changing things or doing 3 movies on freaking "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them". If she doesn't want to write any more novels about HP (the screen play does NOT count) then let it lie and let your fans remember things as they were.
Edited to fix words.
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
Kidding. Clearly I'm a big HP nerd
Also, I am totally psyched about a new magical movie series coming, and the play, and whatever else comes out. I guess I'm the oddball! I don't think HP can be ruined for me. And it's probably hard to let something "die" that you have poured so much into. I imagine it consumes her life.
Think of the things you want your daughter to say to herself/feel about herself when she looks in the mirror and say those things about yourself!
My own random today is that I've started feeling these pokes and aches in my lower belly lately, and they're freaking me out! At 13 weeks, I know RLP is possible (plus any other number of growing pains/gas/etc. combos), but I don't know enough to self-diagnose. My PGAL brain is constantly on the lookout for negative signs, so this is stressing me out. I know to call my OB if anything gets worse, or if I just can't handle the anxiety. Right now, it's not painful or consistent enough to cause me any actual concern, but with my first major announcement this weekend, I keep picturing all the nightmare scenarios of making the terrible call to all my friends. I had great support from my closest pals last time, but it would be a much bigger crowd this go around.