Sleep training - Page 2 — The Bump
June 2015 Moms

Sleep training

245

Re: Sleep training

  • The last 3 nights lo has been back to screaming! she's been great for the past month .. No crying, just rolling around talking until she falls asleep. I think we've just gotten off schedule and messed her up.
  • We are starting sleep training tonight. New year, new you ;)

    Not looking forward to her normal 4am wake up.
    klkonwiSammy K
  • @henrytviii - we've been constantly reminding ourselves how healthy and important a good nights sleep is for LO, and its our job as parents to give it to him. Doesn't totally make the process easier, but keeps us committed.
    This has definitely been a tough transition from our co-sleeping, baby-wearing, feed-on-demand ways.
    Me-37, DH-38
    Married in 2006, TTC #1 since Jan 2012

    Baby Boy born June 1, 2015

    He settles her in her home as a happy mother of children, praise the Lord! (Psalms 113:9)
    And the peace of God, which surpasses all understand, will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:7)

    henrytviiibeemaya83Emilywooddesignvirginiaunicorn11
  • klkonwi said:

    30 minutes....... That's how long it took for him to cry/fall asleep.
    10 minutes in I was bawling crocodile tears and dh was yelling at me "do not go in there".
    Just an update for anyone who is going to do this and needs a realistic scene set.
    I'm not dying..... Though it felt like it for awhile....
    The baby is not dying.
    We can do this ladies

    Thanks for the update! Worst 30 minutes ever, but a positive that it wasn't even longer.
    Me-37, DH-38
    Married in 2006, TTC #1 since Jan 2012

    Baby Boy born June 1, 2015

    He settles her in her home as a happy mother of children, praise the Lord! (Psalms 113:9)
    And the peace of God, which surpasses all understand, will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:7)

    virginiaunicorn11KaLikeAWindbeemaya83
  • @klkonwi how long did he sleep after that 30 minutes? We totally need to do this but I'm terrified of all the wake ups.
  • ^^ we struggled with wake ups last night for sure. If anyone has tips on what to do to get them to go back to sleep after their motnf, I would love to here them. We fed her and put her down awake, but then she cried for an hour, with us checking on her every 5-10 min. I got her up for the day at 7, but she was so tired that she is already taking a nap now at 815.
  • One thing that helped me is to understand that falling asleep on their own is a skill they have to learn, just like grasping objects or swallowing food. It's crazy to think we aren't born knowing how to sleep. But it's a skill most babies need help with and a very important one for overall growth, development and well-being for the whole family.

    Hang in there everyone! You are doing a tough job and you're all great moms!
    lovethatcolosunvirginiaunicorn11KaLikeAWindbeemaya83
  • Another question for sleep training experts..... Am I screwing him up if I just want to hold him while he naps ever???

    I love snuggling him while he naps.
    virginiaunicorn11
  • @klkonwi I think once he has been sleeping good for a few weeks/month it's ok once in a while. The other morning I let lo fall asleep after nursing because I thought she wasn't going back to sleep since it was already 6:30. She slept on me for about 45 minutes then I had to get my dd breakfast so I then put her in the crib and she stayed asleep.
  • @klkonwi With DS, once he was sleep trained, he had no interest in sleeping on/with us. LO still likes to, but doesn't sleep as well at night as DS did. But DS was a magic unicorn baby when it came to sleep. So...dunno. Follow you mom-tuition.

    And I think for shots or illness you can forget the rules and just make them comfortable.
    aj1327klkonwivirginiaunicorn11
  • aj1327aj1327
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited January 2016
    @klkonwi what time does your LO go to sleep? It's 7:30 here & I couldn't keep him awake.

    ETA:anyone can chime in on this one!
    virginiaunicorn11
  • klkonwi said:
    Another question for sleep training experts..... Am I screwing him up if I just want to hold him while he naps ever??? I love snuggling him while he naps


    Stuck in box
    4am, thats awesome! We only got a 3 hour stretch the first night.
    We were told to treat naps like bedtime, just without the bedtime routine. Except for the afternoon nap is shorter/more casual, so if he falls asleep while wearing or holding him, oh well.
    I'm hoping that once we get the routine established we can be more flexible - will be heartbreaking if he ends up with no interest in being held for naps.
    Me-37, DH-38
    Married in 2006, TTC #1 since Jan 2012

    Baby Boy born June 1, 2015

    He settles her in her home as a happy mother of children, praise the Lord! (Psalms 113:9)
    And the peace of God, which surpasses all understand, will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:7)

  • 7425cait7425cait
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited January 2016
    @hudson202 when I feed LO at 5, I change her diaper first. She cries for a couple minutes while I'm doing it, but then once I pick her up to go nurse her, she calms right down. Then the act of nursing relaxes her and she starts drifting again after a few minutes of eating. I also keep the lights off. I use the flashlight on my cellphone to dimly light the room. This way the stimulation is kept at a minimum, and she usually falls asleep back to sleep soon after going into the crib.

    Eta I hope this helps!
  • One thing that has been much better for me since sleep training is car rides. She would scream bloody murder if she was tired. There were 3 times when she screamed the entire 40 mins- 1 hour in the car. Other times also but we weren't driving as long. Now if she's tired, she rubs her eyes and passes out. The last couple days I've been out a lot and the Same in the stroller, once it's been about 2.5 hours I close the cover, turn on sound machine and she is out in 1 minute! Thank god because the screaming in the car was horrible.
    7425caitklkonwiSammy KAPago
  • @amccoy129 how are you Hun?!?

    It's so rough.
    Like I said I bawled basically until I saw him asleep on the monitor.
    We put him down at 815pm
    virginiaunicorn11KaLikeAWind
  • @amccoy129 what time is your lo's last nap? I'm asking because my lo is exhausted by 6 and I keep her up to feed her at 6:30 and put her in bed around 6:45. she was waking up at 2 something from her nap and wouldn't take another around 4 so we stopped trying. If we're in the car and she gets tired she will fall asleep but we kept her on her normal schedule and she just fell asleep a little later (closer to 7:30 instead of 7)
    virginiaunicorn11KaLikeAWind
  • @amccoy129 That sounds like major progress, nice work! We are getting this kid back on track with sleeping well and going down on his own (sleeping through the night isn't a goal because he reverse cycles) but now he's walking up at 5am happy and ready to go for the day. I remember this with DS, I tried everything but they end up screaming and miserable at 7pm, so we put them to bed but they are then wide awake at 5am. Everything sleep book suggestions this shouldn't happen. I can't really ignore him because his happy noises wake me up anyway and if I don't get him he wakes up his brother. The only thing that sometime works is trying to skip his 3am nursing so he wakes up starving and miserable at 4:30, then I can change him, nurse him and get him back down until 6 or 6:30. But that also wakes everyone up. Anyone have any thoughts on this? I'm leaning towards just setting the coffee timing to 5am and enjoying the sunrise but I'm open to other ideas!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Has anyone tried to let LO nap around 6 but only for 10-15 minutes? We don't follow the sleep suggestions of last nap no later than 4. LO naps from 3 ish to 5 ish most afternoons, and then is good until bed around 8. However, sometimes she wakes up early and needs a quick snooze around 6. She will sometimes fall asleep on the couch for 10-20 minutes, but then is good until bedtime. If she goes down around 8, she will sleep until 5:30, eats, and goes back down until 7:30-8. I'm wonder if this will help some of your early to bed, early to rise babies. Unless that schedule works for you, then ignore everything I said. We would rather keep LO up a little later, and then we are able to sleep in on the weekends
    henrytviii
  • ^now that I think about it I think a catnap at 6 does let us bump his bedtime to after DS's and then he sleeps in a bit more. Unfortunately that evening time is when DS is so hyper, there's no way to consistently get LO the nap.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @henrytviii could you guys separate the two to get LO a quick nap? Like one parent take your son into a playroom, and LO into his room to rock or lie down.
  • amccoy129 said:

    We all survived. He fell asleep for good around 10:30 and didn't wake up again until 4am which is really good for him! I nursed him then & he went back to sleep until almost 7. So it was a good night but my heart broke into a million pieces between 8 & 10:30.

    Thanks for asking @klkonwi. I'm going to try to start keeping him up a bit later & stick to a routine.

    So he cried from 8-10:30? I ask because it seems like everyone else's baby cries for only up to 45 minutes or so. The few times we've tried CIO for a time she would normally nurse she's cried for an hour without calming down, at which point I give in and nurse her. If she wakes up for any other reason about 10 minutes of crying will put her back to sleep but then she still wakes up at her regular nursing time.

    We are still up to nurse 2-3 times per night here. She usually goes back down easy unless she's constipated and its Poop Day Eve. She's also still in the Merlin.
  • aj1327aj1327
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited January 2016
    ^^^^ No! I couldn't have dealt with that long. He fell asleep at 7:30 no problem, then woke at 8ish crying and cried for about 35 minutes, fell back asleep, and woke up at 10 again crying. I actually fed him at 10, and then put him back down. He cried a bit but not as bad as the earlier round and was asleep by 10:30. His issue isn't as much going to sleep initially. It's staying asleep. And he wants to nurse for comfort, which I'm trying to break.

    I'm not sure what I'd do if he had woken up at 2, which he normally does. I probably wouldn't nursed him.
    virginiaunicorn11
  • Yes, we do full naps at 9am and 1pm, then a 20 minute catnap at 5 to keep him from getting over tired. Night sleep is 7pm - 7 am. Goal is to stay within 1/2 hour of those times.
    Me-37, DH-38
    Married in 2006, TTC #1 since Jan 2012

    Baby Boy born June 1, 2015

    He settles her in her home as a happy mother of children, praise the Lord! (Psalms 113:9)
    And the peace of God, which surpasses all understand, will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:7)

    KaLikeAWind
  • ^^^ okay good. I have trouble keeping LO up past 7:30 and he usually takes a short nap in the evening.
  • Last night we heard her cry at 3am, our ped told us unless we know for sure something is terribly wrong, to let her cry. I got up, shut our door, and fell back asleep. I have no clue how long she slept for. DH thinks she cried for 35 minutes. I'm starting to not feel as bad doing it, but it's definitely worse when you can actually hear them crying. If she does it again tonight I'm going to turn my alarm on for 45 minutes and see if she's still crying.
  • amccoy129 said:

    ^^^^ No! I couldn't have dealt with that long. He fell asleep at 7:30 no problem, then woke at 8ish crying and cried for about 35 minutes, fell back asleep, and woke up at 10 again crying. I actually fed him at 10, and then put him back down. He cried a bit but not as bad as the earlier round and was asleep by 10:30. His issue isn't as much going to sleep initially. It's staying asleep. And he wants to nurse for comfort, which I'm trying to break.

    I'm not sure what I'd do if he had woken up at 2, which he normally does. I probably wouldn't nursed him.

    Ok, good for you guys! Guess I still have the only baby crying for that long. We have staying asleep problems too, and I know sleep training would fix them but I just don't have it in me to go past an hour of crying. Hopefully by the inevitable Merlin transition she'll be a bit more mature and won't cry so long.
  • cait7425 said:

    @henrytviii could you guys separate the two to get LO a quick nap? Like one parent take your son into a playroom, and LO into his room to rock or lie down.

    Good idea but I work 3 nights a week and DH works one night a week so we are often soloing it until 9pm. That's part of the reason we go with the flow so much. It's hard to do what needs to be done to make changes. I'm sure everyone feels that way though.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • ^ gotcha. I hope you find a solution, or these babies need to get the sleep memo.
  • @ChardeeMacDennis I don't think I could do an hour straight either. I just wish he'd stay asleep for longer than an hour or two.

    These babies definitely need to learn that sleep is a good thing!
    klkonwi
  • Popping in because things are bad over here.

    At one point, people talked about sleep training on here, with interval comforting. Now you guys are talking about Cry It Out, which seems to have no comfort and no time limit. Baby can just cry forever if needed (obviously not, but 30+ minutes). Why?

    I've started letting my guy cry up to 10 minutes, which seems to be working but I'm a wimp, and I usually cry, too - and sometimes pick fights with DH because I'm a jerk and he's my scapegoat. After 5-10 minutes, I have to comfort myself and the baby.

    Also, it's interesting to hear many of your babies are still doing three naps. My kid seems to be trying to figure out how to drop one, but it's screwing everything up. He's taken a three hour nap at 5:00 pm, for example. I thought we weren't supposed to wake sleeping babies? Is that done now, too?

    ciennah99
  • I did wake up one time with the monitor turned off like I must have hit it off like I would "snooze" I felt so horrible but as DH pointed out I can hear her cry without it so she was not crying without me hearing it.... I can't imagine hearing her nonstop and just letting it go.

    What is the appropriate time to let a baby cry? I can't even go a few minutes so I can't imagine longer but there is a difference between sleep training and just crying it out right? I would love to make great sleepers but I can't get on board with crying for a long period of time. I do let her cry and whine a bit before I rush in but those panic cries need comfort!
    virginiaunicorn11ciennah99henrytviii
  • klkonwiklkonwi
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    member
    edited January 2016
    There's a huge difference between cio and sleep training. The bad part is you can't let him nap past 4 pm.... They need to be tired enough to go to sleep. You also need to wake him at the same time each morning.
    For naps these last 3 days I have held him/snuggled still for a few.

    @virginiaunicorn11 research it online and then talk to your ped. You also can get great reassurance on here (these ladies have helped me so much)
    virginiaunicorn11Sammy K
  • Popping in because things are bad over here.

    Also, it's interesting to hear many of your babies are still doing three naps. My kid seems to be trying to figure out how to drop one, but it's screwing everything up. He's taken a three hour nap at 5:00 pm, for example. I thought we weren't supposed to wake sleeping babies? Is that done now, too?

    I did read in the weekly email ( I think it was last week?) That a lot of kids will drop a nap right about now. We are still a mess with naps, but don't have a lot of control with it because of daycare.
  • LO was down to two long naps a day, but since we've been on vacation, she's back up to 3 short ones. I don't know if it was the atmosphere, or the fact that she's cutting her first teeth. I'm hoping with a little work we can get it back down to two.
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