Sleep training - Page 4 — The Bump
June 2015 Moms

Sleep training

124

Re: Sleep training

  • ^^^ exactly. He cries for 5-10 minutes for naps and will sleep 2 hours. Nights it sounds like we are beating him. The cry is totally different.

    We've given up trying too. I told DH we should start him out in the crib and just hope that stretch gets longer & longer but after that first wake up, just put him in with us.
    henrytviiivirginiaunicorn11
  • . ETA: yes, I recognize that I both cried when he was waking every hour and I had to comfort him, and I am also crying now that he's waking and I'm refusing to comfort him. Motherhood is so awesome that way.
    Seriously, I was just (crying and) trying to explain that DH this morning. The frequent night wakings were SO draining and we were all ready for them to stop. But, they got me accustomed to snuggling my baby practically all night long. Now it's been emotionally exhausting to go cold turkey on the snuggling marathon. By 4a.m., my body is practically aching to hold him. (so I cave and go nurse him and mess up his schedule and DH and I fight. Ugh.)

    I'm enjoying the extra rest and optimistic that this will pass quickly, but at the moment it feels like one big a lose-lose.
    Me-37, DH-38
    Married in 2006, TTC #1 since Jan 2012

    Baby Boy born June 1, 2015

    He settles her in her home as a happy mother of children, praise the Lord! (Psalms 113:9)
    And the peace of God, which surpasses all understand, will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:7)

    klkonwivirginiaunicorn11lovethatcolosun
  • @virginiaunicorn11 I rejoiced when I read your post
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  • @virginiaunicorn11 I laughed outloud. He slept all night last night. In our bed. Now if we could just transfer that to the crib we'd have it made in the shade.

    I'll give him a nice warm bath tonight along with some sleep dust. I'm sure that'll do the trick!

    You should brag! So happy your LO is sleeping so well!
    lovethatcolosunmindaahudson202virginiaunicorn11
  • LO has started having separation anxiety. Is this a side effect of sleep training, or just the age?

    Give it to me straight, I can handle it.

    (read: I will cry either way, so...)
    cbrtncanadianaddingon
  • I've written this before but I hired a sleep consultant to help me with sleep training. She didn't come to my house and everything was done through google docs. Best money I have ever spent if any of you are desperate pm me and I would be happy to email you the package she sent me. Her website is the goodnightsleepsite.com ( sorry if I'm not supposed to solicit) lol. I feel for you guys
  • LO has started having separation anxiety. Is this a side effect of sleep training, or just the age?

    Give it to me straight, I can handle it.

    (read: I will cry either way, so...)

    At our 6 month appt the doctor asked if DD was having separation anxiety yet. We said no and she said "she probably will soon." I take this to mean that it's pretty normal around this age.
    Me: 36 DH: 36
    Married 5-31-14
    DD1 born 6-21-15
    DD2 born 6-11-17
    DS born 9-5-18

    virginiaunicorn11henrytviii
  • LO has started having separation anxiety. Is this a side effect of sleep training, or just the age?

    Give it to me straight, I can handle it.

    (read: I will cry either way, so...)

    From the front page of my Bump:




    virginiaunicorn11
  • So just coincidentally awesome timing for the Mom Guilt. Sweet. Thanks, ladies!
    lovethatcolosun
  • We call it stranger danger here. She's good with us and her usual teachers at daycare. But if there's a sub - watch out! She does not like new people.
    virginiaunicorn11
  • Sammy K said:

    We call it stranger danger here. She's good with us and her usual teachers at daycare. But if there's a sub - watch out! She does not like new people.

    It's not Stranger Danger here. He freaking LOVES his dad, but even when DH is holding him, he cries if I leave the room. (It's only an issue if I pass him off, come to think of it.) LO's easily distracted, which is the saving grace.
  • @virginiaunicorn11 yup daycare ladies told me after 6 months they begin to have sep anxiety. Fun right?!!
    virginiaunicorn11
  • beemaya83beemaya83
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Photogenic
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    edited January 2016
    I just posted in the Nightime Still Sucks, but I think this is a better spot:

    Ferber method in full force tonight! Naps sucked! Put LO to bed at 8:00pm, 50 minutes of CIO. Looks like he sleeping for now..... We'll see how the rest of the night goes! Mentally prepared for little sleep.also, sleeping without the Merlin tonight!

    ETA: He woke up after 10 min and threw up. So changed him real quick, changed the crib sheet and put him back down. I went to the bathroom and cried. This is hard! 

    **** so I use the lullaby music I usually play for him before bed. Does anyone else use music? I known Ferber considers this an "association" however, for my LO, the problem was that we were rocking him to sleep then he would wake up and cry when he realized he was in his crib. So hoping the music is not a problem!
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  • Home girl has rough separation and stranger anxiety...right on cue. My dad came over last night and made a funny face at her and she screamed bloody murder. I think he was hurt.
    TTC: 1/2014 BFP: 9/24 EDD: 6/8/2015 Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
    lovethatcolosunvirginiaunicorn11cbrtncanadian
  • Ladies, I've read through the previous posts, I mainly see responses of night sleep. Are all of those mommies that have done Ferber been successful for naps in a crib? My little one is an excellent napper in the rock n play, yes I did have to rock but he would sleep for hours. Now with the ferber naps in the crib have been a nightmare! Day 2 today. Advice!

    @mellymar @Sammy K @klkonwi anyone???
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  • beemaya83 said:

    Ladies, I've read through the previous posts, I mainly see responses of night sleep. Are all of those mommies that have done Ferber been successful for naps in a crib? My little one is an excellent napper in the rock n play, yes I did have to rock but he would sleep for hours. Now with the ferber naps in the crib have been a nightmare! Day 2 today. Advice!

    @mellymar @Sammy K @klkonwi anyone???

    I read the Ferber book but when I sleep trained, I didn't use all his methods. Namely, I let LO go for 10 minutes right away. I also pick up LO if he's crying hard when I first put him down, and I put him to bed calm and almost asleep. So I don't know if any of this would work for you, but here's what I've been doing:

    I use lullaby music from the Sleep Sheep. I turn on Twinkle Twinkle when we go into the nursery to start his bedtime routine (which is fairly loose) or his naps (breastfeed to a very drowsy state). It's his "sleepy time" cue. Then when I lay LO into the crib, I either turn off all sound - or if he's not fully settled or the house is loud, I change it to the sound of ocean waves. I am not consistent, per se, but this seems to work for my baby, personally.

    I haven't done sleep training for naps. I've only done it for nights. We have a hard time getting him to nap, but he eventually goes down, so we don't push it. He naps two or three times a day, and they can last anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours, with an hour being typical, maybe longer in the morning.

    My LO didn't cry very much during training (which I guess we are still kinda in - night five or so), but I cried three nights in a row, and also picked fights with my man the first two nights. It's f'ing torture hearing your baby cry. I turned the monitor off and would go where I couldn't hear the baby. Then I would turn the monitor back on at my planned check-in time.

    I hope it gets better quickly for you.
    KaLikeAWind
  • I sleep trained during naps. My main thing was getting rid of the pacifier. Ever since I did that, she's been sleeping so much better.
    Emilywooddesignvirginiaunicorn11
  • @virginiaunicorn11 thank you for the response! So I feel I was putting too much pressure on myself. Baby was napping great before I decided to go Ferber on him. So for some reason I thoght I should implement Ferber for naps and nighttime. But tonight I decided to go with my gut feeling. So just now at 7:00 (it's 7:30) now, I decided to rock baby and he has been asleep fine in crib so we'll see how tonight goes. My main thing was to get him back in crib and out of our bed. I regret letting him cry for 3 hours last night!!!!! Poor guy had a shit day with naps and I feel horrid. It did cause a fight with DH because LO fell asleep in his arms. Like really? I shouldn't be mad that DH wants to hold his baby.......I still have to apologize.
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    ciennah99virginiaunicorn11
  • @beemaya83 Naps? Ha ha ha ha ha. My LO has decided that during the week she only needs one or two 30 min naps and a cat nap on the car ride home. On the weekends, she'll usually take a 1 hour nap and a couple of cat naps. We do CIO at home, but if she escalates, we get her and try again in 30 min. So I'm not much help.
    addingonvirginiaunicorn11beemaya83
  • @beemaya83 I got nothing for you on naps. My LO's naps are all over the place. He used to take really long naps, then he was taking really short ones (like 15 minutes or less), and now he's back to taking 30 or 45 minutes to an hour and half naps. And he doesn't like to nap in his crib, but naps on the couch fine. He wakes up screaming in his crib when he naps in there, but wakes up easy as pie in there from overnight. Since I'm trying to reestablish an overnight pattern without the merlin, I'm not pushing naps in the crib right now, especially with him napping well on the couch
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    virginiaunicorn11beemaya83
  • klkonwiklkonwi
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
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    edited January 2016
    @beemaya83 our naps are in the crib with a portable sound machine playing a "waves" noise literally right beside his ear... I will look up which one we have a post a pic. We use it for our NICU babies at work as well.

    We do the exact same procedure for naps as bedtime.....

    We let him cry for about 3-5 minutes and then go pat/shush him...... We started Jan 1st night and tonight was actually the first night he gave us trouble and cried again....
    (Not bragging) he cries for naps now.... Not bedtime. I think the no naps after 4 pm seriously is the key. Maybe all the other sleep training stuff is bullshit?!
    beemaya83
  • Home girl has rough separation and stranger anxiety...right on cue. My dad came over last night and made a funny face at her and she screamed bloody murder. I think he was hurt.

    Awww, poor grandpa
    Me-37, DH-38
    Married in 2006, TTC #1 since Jan 2012

    Baby Boy born June 1, 2015

    He settles her in her home as a happy mother of children, praise the Lord! (Psalms 113:9)
    And the peace of God, which surpasses all understand, will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:7)

    virginiaunicorn11
  • Sammy K said:

    @beemaya83 Naps? Ha ha ha ha ha. My LO has decided that during the week she only needs one or two 30 min naps and a cat nap on the car ride home. On the weekends, she'll usually take a 1 hour nap and a couple of cat naps. We do CIO at home, but if she escalates, we get her and try again in 30 min. So I'm not much help.

    Our naps are like this too. I think she has trouble napping longer than 30 minutes at a time at daycare because there's so much going on. Some days she passes out on me as soon as I nurse her when we get home. And then she'll still go to bed for the night at her regular time like an hour later. Weekends we can usually get one longer nap a day though (60-90 minutes) and any others are 30 minutes or so.
    Me: 36 DH: 36
    Married 5-31-14
    DD1 born 6-21-15
    DD2 born 6-11-17
    DS born 9-5-18

    virginiaunicorn11beemaya83
  • @delujm0 @Sammy K Same nap schedule here!

    I think it's probably odd, when I compare to others, but she STTN so it's working for her ?? The ladies at daycare adore LO but always comment about how she's the worst napper and I'm starting to feel a little defensive like - hey, she's one of the most pleasant, calm kids in here so who cares if she cuts her naps short?
    virginiaunicorn11beemaya83KaLikeAWind
  • @swaugh14 @delujm0 It seems to work for her. But because she takes such short naps, we can't follow the 4pm rule. She's actually not the worst napper at daycare, so I don't feel terrible but I know the defensive feeling. She's taking 1-2 hors naps at home, so it's not entirely her fault. Just too much going on. She's happy as a clam all day, so they don't mind her lack of naps.
    addingonvirginiaunicorn11beemaya83
  • beemaya83beemaya83
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Photogenic
    member
    edited January 2016
    @klkonwi thank you I may consider buying this! Thanks to all ladies for their comments on naps!

    So LO woke up about 4 times last night. We rocked him back to sleep so whatever I'll roll with it. Naps were a little better, less crying and he actually stayed in his crib! Naps were short though. He is getting too big for the Rock n play so I think I'm going to stick to the crib....
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  • Sammy K said:
    @swaugh14 @delujm0 It seems to work for her. But because she takes such short naps, we can't follow the 4pm rule. She's actually not the worst napper at daycare, so I don't feel terrible but I know the defensive feeling. She's taking 1-2 hors naps at home, so it's not entirely her fault. Just too much going on. She's happy as a clam all day, so they don't mind her lack of naps.


    Oh yeah the 4pm rule is like a joke for us...at least three times a week, she falls asleep on me while nursing at like 5:30 and will sleep for 20-30 minutes.  Which would concern me, except by 7 she's still ready to go to bed for the night, and she STTN 90% of the time now.

     

    The daycare ladies are the same with me!  They're like "she fought naps today, but she just loves to play!"  Funny, on weekends if i don't force her to nap she LOSES HER MIND, but i guess DH and i are just boring.  As long as she's entertained, she doesn't seem to care about being tired.  Until i pick her up of course.  On days she doesn't nap she screams starting the second we get to the car and until such time as she is latched onto my boob at home.

    Me: 36 DH: 36
    Married 5-31-14
    DD1 born 6-21-15
    DD2 born 6-11-17
    DS born 9-5-18

  • @mellymar how is LO getting adjusted out of the Merlin? I think you mentioning no sleep sac either. With the cold weather I'm using two sleep sacs. But I think he likes the feeling of something heavy. I been using a blanket when he goes down for a nap then remove it after he is sleeping. But I'm thinking this is a bad idea because Idon't do this for night sleep.....why is this so hard! 
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  • Teething blows.
    Sleep training was amazing.... But now my poor baby is hurting and I'm just couldn't do it tonight......
    virginiaunicorn11
  • When we put LO down for the night (at 630) we do our nighttime routine, give him a bottle, burp him, rock him for like 2 min (or less) and he's knocked out. He has been consistently sleeping until 11:30-12. But, it's sooo hard to get him back to sleep! It takes up to 2 hours! 1 hour on a good night. So, we started doing CIO for the middle of the night. We still feed him because he still wants to eat a whole bottle. But then put him down sleepy but awake.

    My question is, is it bad to only sleep train for the MOTN wake up?

    He's just so easy to put to sleep at first...

    PS I haven't been on here for a couple months because my bump app kept crashing and I was over it. But, I'm so glad this thread is here!
    lovethatcolosun
  • Welcome back! I think consistency helps to make the process go faster. Would putting him to bed later by an hour or two help to keep him asleep through that time? Could the MOTN feeding also be habit? I always fed LO at 5:30 am because she would start to stir and I didn't want her to wake the house by crying. We notice on the weekends that she would stir a little and then fall back asleep. So this week we tested it out. She woke up on Sunday crying at 5:30. We let her go for a few minutes, then I went in, changed her diaper and gave her a pacifier to see if that would help get her back to sleep. Sure enough she went right down and slept until 7. Monday she scutched and then stayed asleep until 7:30. Yesterday she slept until 8. Monday and yesterday no pacifier was involved. Long story short, we think she was getting into the habit of just being fed, and not actually needing it, since she was able to go back to sleep and stay asleep. That being said, we did increase the 3 bottles she gets while I'm at work by an ounce each to make up for the missed feeding. Could you try not feeding him and see if nursing is overstimulatinng him? Causing him to not be able to fall back asleep.
  • @cait7425 thank you! Glad to be back!

    We've been trying to push his bed time a bit later but he's just exhausted by 6! Keeping him awake it like torture.

    We actually let him cry at bedtime tonight and he slept 6:30-3:30. Such an improvement! He still inhaled a 6oz bottle at that time. But, only cried for about 5 min before he fell back asleep. We've made attempts to feed him more during the day but he refuses.

    I think changing his diaper overstimulates him the most. But, if I don't do it, there is a 95% chance that he will soak his bed.

  • beemaya83beemaya83
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Photogenic
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    edited January 2016
    Ok so I feel like a total failure. Just to re-cap, full on sleep traing started this passed FRIDAY. Baby was starting to go down easier during nighttime, but not so much during MOTN wakings. So yesterday was just hard. We caved and put him in our bed again. So I tested the same for naps today. He can totally fall asleep on his own, in my bed. So I'm just gonna role with it. Perhaps, I can try again in a few weeks.

    ETA, I think I'm creating a little monster. But putting him in my bed is just so much easier.
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  • @rrcameron21 my little guy is the same way. Goes down easy for bed time. Wakes up on the dot at around midnight. We feed 4oz, change diaper. But now with CIO, it's a bit harder to get himself back to sleep. I agree with pp, that consistency is key, but damn it's hard!
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  • ^^^ This is my LO exactly. Falls asleep no problem but in 2 hours is awake screaming. We put him in bed with us and I really don't feel badly about it. He'll get there. I coslept and I'm pretty normal (I think).
    virginiaunicorn11ciennah99
  • For the ladies who are cosleeping, I say enjoy it! My LO pretty much doesn't fall asleep next to me anymore. I miss the cuddles! But I'm respecting her right to fall asleep independently. Apparently I'm more needy then she is!
    lovethatcolosunklkonwi
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