How to Tell if You are a NEWB

allymp13

I wish I could just do a mass "love it" on every single post in this thread.

jennlin

if you don't know @nryan55 has an adorable toddler that uses a doggy as a step stool to turn on a light switch.

karo112

Charlie1178 said:

@karo112, hahaha, I had completely forgotten about that until now! Amazing...I wish I could show that to a girl on my facebook. She's been posting weekly "bump pics" since 6 weeks.

To be honest even I forgot how creepy it was until I found it again....

bkeane619

You guise are gonna make me cry.  I feel all nostalgic and shit. 

MissLauraPants

dh13 said:

taylormarie923 said:

If you don't know that @misslaurapants has a pole in her living room.

I think there are actually 2 poles!

lol!  Yep totally two you have to have two for spinning and static!

SuperSecretStatus

dh13 said:

..and if you don't know everything about @supersecretstatus 's life.. which is kind of ironic considering her screenname!

I was so stumped trying to come up with a user name since I was trying to keep my pregnancy a secret from family. The rest of my life, as you ladies have learned by now, is completely an open book. I'd much rather get judged/hear advice from neutral parties because even the tough love feels like this:

MissLauraPants

I wanna play!

You may be a newb if you don't know that @anamouse will find you the best prices on any nursery/baby item out there and researches it all!  Did she ever figure out her chair dilemma on which to pick?

Chrisanna0508

This thread just made my day. I think all I can add is you are a newb if you think it's ok to add "no rude comments please" to any of yours posts.

pmarie33

if you don't know what witch hazel is

if you got ignored when you posted about your 1 or 3 hour glucose test

if you've never read about a young lady shooting snakes

sleepy33

MissLauraPants said:

I wanna play!

You may be a newb if you don't know that @anamouse will find you the best prices on any nursery/baby item out there and researches it all!  Did she ever figure out her chair dilemma on which to pick?

...if you haven't voted on either @anamouse's glider choice or name/middle name combo

sleepy33

And now this thread is stickied. My life is complete.

karo112

If you don't know about the ORIGINAL Nov '13 ladies....the One Directioners....and why they hate BumpJackie

kimbo1216

sleepy33 said:

And now this thread is stickied. My life is complete.

@sleepy33



but I confess, it was @yesthisiskim's idea.

pmarie33

if you think FFFC means that you wont actually get flamed

if you don't understand what UO actually means

fantasticmrsfox

Not sure if I'm considered a
newb, but....

if you've never wondered if @cousinvicki and @auntedna were the same person!

allymp13

If you don't know that ally909 catfished us into thinking she had a baby at 24 weeks

OR this is old

someone (I forget who) tried to prove that @cousinvicki was faking her pregnancy

MissLauraPants

you may be a newb if you do not know what December 13's Jimmy Johns Watergate cold cut scandal was!

amber0529

I've been on for months but I only have internet on my phone so I don't even think I can do tickers, gifs or siggys

ajjf1026

quartermisses said:

NRyan55 said:

You might be a newb if:
-You think @huntjul has a vet
-You don't know that @DH13 has a pool
-You think that @Gwyneddlesliegrace doesn't have a recipe/sewing pattern for every single thing on your baby registry
-You did not know that @sooner1981 's husband is a neonatologist
-You don't know about @Amjoy25 's "name thread-gate"

I could do this all day

I feel so left out. I need to do something truly amazeballs to make @Nryan5 's list. 

Me too!!

MegN423

You may be a newb if:

- you think throwing a few tea sandwiches as your guests is acceptable

-you don't remember the MrEDvag post. 

LetsGoToDisney

taylormarie923 said:

If you are shocked when @lanajax flags you for no good reason.

To add to ^, you use the flag as a 'dislike' 

MrsKocal

EmJ&B said:

If you think Fox is just the name of an animal

If you don't know that @quartermisses would like to MOVE

If you cant remember that @MrsKocal had the worst morning sickness in the history of the world and suggested she might try peppermint or ginger.

LMAO, thank you for remembering.  I try to block that horrible time, and all those "helpful" suggestions, from my memory...

megs1409

Or....you don't know about how thoughtful filling your Baby Journal with tales of plowing the land may be

shelley1002

I wish I could just love this whole thread.  So many good memories.

shelley1002

Dup post.  TB crashed on me and it posted twice.  Have a cat gif.

SuperSecretStatus

dh13 said:

Brandontricia said:

Brandontricia said:

Your a newb if you don't know it is NOT okay for your DH to fist you to help prepare you for birth. Lol!

MEMBRANESSSSSSSSSSS

OMG! I forgot about that! The girl who tried to convince everyone it was a good idea that her paramedic DH was trained to strip her membranes! MEMBRANES!

@SuperSecretStatus !!!!!!!! MEMBRANES!!!

LIES and blasphemy!!! You'll never pin that on me. I never tried to convince everyone that it was a good idea, and he's not a paramedic. :P
 

MrsKocal

this thread is HILARIOUS.

layali

taylormarie923 said:

This is my favorite thread ever.

You know you're a newb if @cousinvicki hasn't called you out to insinuate that you are doing life wrong.

Crap, I was feeling great about not being a newb until I read this one!!!

sleepy33

xkittyxbearx

I answered no to the avatar pic, and the siggy ticker but I've still been pretty regular here for the last couple months. I'm just handy capped when it comes to tickers and lazy when it came to the avatar pic, though i suppose I could use my 3d pic now.

sweettwilight16

megs1409 said:

Or....you don't know about how thoughtful filling your Baby Journal with tales of plowing the land may be

Plowing!! Does anyone remember that girl's name? I want to find her "poem"!

SuperSecretStatus

Brandontricia said:

 

Was that you!? Maybe it was a military medic or something like that. Did your DH strip your membranes? Tell me!?

@Brandontricia

It was me but like I said I wasn't trying to convince anyone that it was a good idea for them to try it.. DH's MOS  was Combat Medic (he recently changed it), and the hospital where I'm seen is a teaching hospital. He asked my OB if there was anything he could do to help get labor going since his R&R was almost over and I was over 41w. She taught him how to check for dilation and how to strip my membranes. We have a ton of medical supplies, including sterile gloves, at home so yes he stripped them.

megs1409

sweettwilight16 said:

megs1409 said:

Or....you don't know about how thoughtful filling your Baby Journal with tales of plowing the land may be

Plowing!! Does anyone remember that girl's name? I want to find her "poem"!

pepper1922...or that was atleast the one she posted the plowing poem under.  I think we determined she had multiple AE's (and maybe wasn't even pregnant???) or maybe I'm thinking of someone else who made up a bunch of stuff and then came out that she had some mental illness of some sort.

SuperSecretStatus

nuggetsmama

I dont have a ticker or avatar and dont do GIFs - but have been a very regular lurker since the beginning. And I cant believe no one remembered to mention the awesome constipation cure that was suggested! my DH still brings that one up! 

sweettwilight16

Didn't find the plow poem, but I did find this gem...
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/72601164#Comment_72601164

IT COMETH!!!

jnsmith85

Holy crap, after all these months I finally have a ticker!! Hopefully it actually worked

HFrizzle

We can't forget the first tri gem about anal sex to relieve her constipation.

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/8989385/help-with-constipation-naturally

megs1409

sweettwilight16 said:

Didn't find the plow poem, but I did find this gem...
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/72601164#Comment_72601164

IT COMETH!!!

I think this is the one....

 

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/8875853/since-i-cannot-sleep/p1

Jalee85

Wow I got one of the badges to come back but I can not get a ticker! Using Kimbos method doesn't work for me because there was no information there! Maybe I should just update my siggy every week saying how far along I am