Hey all! We are expecting our little girl in September and I am head over heels for the Irish name Saoirse. It’s impossible to spell and somewhat difficult to say (though I think it will stick after a few encounters). The pronunciation is SEER-SHA). I am second generation Irish and my husband is Irish/Scottish. My side of the family all have very traditional Irish names so it doesn’t seem too far-fetched to me BUT will my teenage daughter hate me for it? Should I give her an easy middle name that she can choose to go by if she wishes? Or should I just shelf my love of the name out of fear of difficulties her entire life?
The opinions of anyone, but particularly those with a difficult name would be much appreciated!
@finneganclan do what you want! That’s a beautiful name and I don’t think it’s that obscure anymore (Saoirse Ronan is a popular celeb, one of my favorite animated movies Song of the Sea features a little girl named Saoirse). You’ll have to deal with teaching people how to say it, I’m sure, but it’s a traditional Irish name and it’s lovely.
@finneganclan I personally love that name! I would use it, if I were you. Don't worry about preparing the world for your child; prepare your child for the world. Teach her to be proud of her name and how to kindly teach people how to say it.
I agree with what the ladies above have been saying. I tend to run on the conservative/safe side and would likely go with a scheduled C-section. I feel for you in wanting the VBAC and experience, but with the things you mentioned it just sounds like the safest option to go would be to schedule something ahead of your due date. I also agree with the compromise at 38 weeks if baby is looking not quite ready at 36. So sorry you have to make these tough decisions, but glad you're already considering the options! Here's hoping for a successful birth with a healthy baby and happy mama no matter what your birthing experience looks like!
@kboydbowman Certainly a tough decision, but I'm glad that you have/and are considering the options. Medically, there are facts and figures out there that can drive your decision as to what is safest for you and the baby. But given the physical and emotional trauma you've endured, I imagine you have to dig a bit deeper to find the right answer for you. If it were me in your position, I would list out every option and every outcome, and write out my thoughts/fears/hopes for each one. In my experience, putting pen to paper and externalizing all the thoughts in my head helps me arrive at a rational decision that is the best one for me. Wishing you all the luck, and keep us updated, if you wish!
@kboydbowman I do not envy having to make this decision! Is there any point in seeking out other opinions from other doctors ? Specifically ones with a lot of Vbac experience ?
@JRae2015 Unfortunately, this is a universal opinion from obgyns that is based on American college of obstetrics and Gynecologists recommendation. The problem is that all of the data that they based this on is from the 1910s and 1920s. There literally have been no studies since then. So the argument in favor is that medical science has changed and improved dramatically since then. Based on the old data, it's a 5 to 10% chance of rupture, in which case there is a 10% chance of a catastrophic consequence for either the mother or the baby If you have a classical Cesarean scar. Compared to a 2% chance of rupture for a typical Cesarean scar, with the same 10% chance of catastrophic consequence if you do have the rupture. The very limited data that comes from non controlled studies in modern times suggest that the actual rupture rate is only maybe 3 to 4% for classical rate of rupture versus the 2% for regular. But there's no controlled studies.
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
@finneganclan I don’t think my name is hard (Laurel Anne), but the number of times I have to repeat it, spell it, or get called something else contradicts that lol. That being said, I love my name. I never got teased, and I really didn’t recognize the difficulty until college because I had the same classmates/friends through high school. I know my mom had to explain the double name throughout my childhood. As an adult, constantly in contact with new people, I go by my initials, but family and old friends still use my full name.
I think you’d have less trouble with introductions though. I only see an issue if someone is trying to pronounce it based on spelling. Honestly, any kid can decided they don’t like their name. My brother Kyle started going by his middle name Will in college, and his name isn’t hard, uncommon, etc.
My name is Ashee. The amount of times people have called me Ashley is insane. Every introduction. I’ve had doctors and teachers “correct” my name when I’ve written it because they think I misspelled it. BUT! I love my name. Teach your daughter to love her name and it’s all good. I start out now “my name is Ashee, not Ashley” and it’s pretty easy to deal with.
@kboydbowman I would absolutely not labour intentionally. The uterus can rupture just from the pressure of baby, without any labour, which I've seen in the OR. I would err on the side of extreme caution and schedule the C-section at 36/37 weeks. Babies do great at that gestation, especially with steroids prior. Will they do another classical incision?
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
Is there any pregnancy-related reason to avoid Red Dye 40 (or can I indulge in Takis Wavy/Doritos Flamas once/twice a month like my stomach is usually good for)?
@jhysmath that’s what I expected and all I found was… not really, studies haven’t shown averse impact on developing baby. However, they have shown exacerbation of ADHD/ADD.
I was wondering if the savvy ladies on here had insight I couldn’t find on Google. All this being said, it sounds to me like an area that wouldn’t have been studied. Women’s bodies/pregnancy are so often hard to find anything about.
@finneganclan my name is "Dana" and people manage to mess that up reasonably often. I have a few friends with exotic names that are hard to spell or pronounce, and they have mixed feelings - some of them love their names and some of them feel like it makes life difficult. Based on my time spent with them, I would say one big factor is how likely you and your family are to take offense or get worked up when someone gets the pronunciation wrong.
@pangolindrome I can't find any really solid research on red dye 40. I think I would happily follow your plan of "occasional indulgence." I mean, a steady diet of "nothing but doritos" wouldn't be good for you regardless of pregnancy! But I tend to assume that we would know for sure if such a ubiquitous ingredient posed a major risk during pregnancy.
First time mom-to-be, due 9/25/22
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
@dsmith211 hello, fellow Dana! I do not understand why our name causes confusion. I get "Dan-na," "Donna," "Diana," "Diana," "Dina," and the list goes on! Also, when I was a kid the only famous Dana's were two very beefy male football players, and I was this tiny little kid. I vividly remember being asked, "Isn't that a boy's name?" and having absolutely no idea how to answer the question.
I like my name just fine, but I was always a little envious of my friends with names that were easily nickname-able. If all goes well, I told my husband I'd like us to pick a name that has a few options, so kiddo can play a bit with names as she grows and gets a sense of identity. Outside of that, I like my name just fine...even if it's weirdly hard to pronounce!
First time mom-to-be, due 9/25/22
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
@babywiik I'm "Day-na," unless I'm around bilingual folks who struggle with that pronunciation. Then I'm "Dan-na," which I don't love but which I won't argue about.
First time mom-to-be, due 9/25/22
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
@lilienne I prefer names that can have a nick name. The name my husband loves for a boy, isn't nick name able I have no idea what I'd do with it. Fingers crossed we get a third girl and we find a name and it has a nickname.
@jhysmath yeah, we had the same issue with the boy names we liked. And actually, several of my very favorite girls names break my "nickname" rule, too. Decisions, decisions!
First time mom-to-be, due 9/25/22
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
- is anyone else still getting sick and sleeping a ton? I thought that would go away but I’m 16w6d and it hasn’t let up.
- when did everything start to feel real? I still don’t feel like it’s hit me yet… a baby is coming!!! Lol. I haven’t bought anything yet. Am I behind?
- I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I have been trying really hard to eat right and watch my sugar intake. My numbers are great! I just can’t get into a routine of tracking my food and checking my blood 4 times per day. It’s hard to be motivated when my numbers are always what they are supposed to be. That might sound bad?
@nb658310 my nausea let up around 16 weeks and I’m not sure the exhaustion has ever really stopped (I’m 18+3)… I’ve stopped falling asleep on the couch at 7pm for the most part but still not at “human being” level energy.
I’d say it’s an accumulation of small steps to make it feel more real. Each little moment can make it add up - the first purchase, working on the nursery, coming up with name ideas, journaling about baby, feeling the movements.
@nb658310 welcome! make sure you stop by the introductions thread and introduce yourself!
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
@nb658310 I’m at 18 weeks and my nausea is gone (although it wasn’t really bad to begin with) and the exhaustion which was terrible has let up some. I’m still tired, but I’ve joined the pregnancy insomnia group and once I get up to pee at night, I don’t really go back to sleep. However, it’s not the level of exhaustion where I literally cried because I wanted a nap and couldn’t take one.
I’ve made several baby purchases, but I know what you mean that it doesn’t feel real. It actually feels less real since the nausea abated! I have a few days after each appointment where I got to hear the heartbeat and I’m like “there’s a baby in there” lol but then it passes. I’m impatiently waiting for baby kicks because I think that’s when it will really sink in for me.
@nb658310 I’m almost 15 weeks and still feel exhausted. I was really hoping it would subside but no luck yet. I really can’t remember how it was with my first, it’s all a blur lol. I’m in a weird place where I also don’t feel like it’s fully real? I’ve told a lot of close people this last week and everyone is so excited and so am I but I’m baaaarely showing and I don’t feel the flutters yet so I’m like “wait, should I even be telling people?” 🤦🏻♀️ I think with my first, the anatomy scan at 20 weeks is what really made it real because it was the first time I got to see my son. It was a very special moment. And I don’t think you’re behind if you haven’t bought much yet. Realistically, you still have over 20 weeks to go and it doesn’t take long to stock up on the essentials (especially if you’re having a baby shower of some kind). So you’ll get there 😊
I have a question for the group too. For all you ladies that have bought and used the Snuggle Me Organic in the past, did you and/or your baby like it or was it a waste of $$? I’ve heard mixed reviews. I already have most of what I need for baby from my first (aside from needing to stock up on some clothes) and am wondering if it would be beneficial, especially if I need to put the baby down to do stuff around the house. Note that I’m in Canada and the Dockatot isn’t even sold here and shipping is insane so that’s not an option.
@ciscothedog2018 in short, yes. The point of the scan is to check that they have all their fingers and toes, as well as all organs functioning properly & in the correct position. I have a work colleague who it was discovered at the anatomy scan that her child's organs were developing on the outside, and another friend who's son was found to have a serious heart defect. However, as Lilliene has said the likelihood of that occurring is so extremely low that I would keep your expectations positive.
@kboydbowman I'm pretty sure since you have posted this that you have met with your Doula? From the course I did when I was learning about VBA#C they were saying that while traditional c-section does carry more risk it is still possible to TOL - the literature ranges from no increase in risk to a 12% chance of rupture, so it's not very conclusive - probably because they don't allow many women to TOLACC due to fear of the rupture. From memory the biggest consideration was the need for induction as this is more traumatic for the body and brings on stronger contractions which can increase your likelihood of rupture, so it is strongly advised against for women with a prior CC scar and to opt for a planned C section if this situation arises. I do like jhysmath's idea of 38 weeks with "gentle" c-section though. If I were you I would continue to research the risk v benefit of each, because we know that vaginal birth is not just a benefit for mum's recovery but associated with a whole heap of better health outcomes for babe. However, my opinion is such because I cried during my c-section and disassociated during the entire event, and still get very emotional thinking about the entire experience. I'm not sure how much that played a part but it took over a year to have the feeling of love for my daughter, rather than just going through the motions of caring for her.
@finneganclan love the name Saoirse! We have it on our list as well as Sadhbh, Aine and Cadhla, all of which are classic Irish spelling. My family is Dutch and my husband's is Irish, so we are going with an Irish name this time as our DD has a Dutch name.
@laj0217 my name is Hannah and people still can't spell it correctly. I get often get Hana, Hanna and Hanah, even though the way my name is spelt is the classic way of spelling it.
@wiseh Yes, all of those things are why I'm still strongly considering TOLAC. Complications from my Caesarean LITERALLY almost killed me, and it was recovery was more than 4 months, so naturally I'm a bit reluctant to do another one.
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
@lalarose22 I like to have nick names like James becomes Jamie not James becomes J-Man or something. I mean my daughters get called all sorts of silly nicknames, but I need one they can be called all the time that is actually a name. My husband loves the name Ezra and I do like the name too, but what would he write as a nickname Easy -E ? Ezzie? Ra? They're all terrible.
@kboydbowman adding to @wiseh my first csection though I was disappointed with having to have a csection was so much better than my second, and my second wasn't traumatic really in the grand scheme of things.
My first was planned because of breech presentation and I couldn't find anyone within 3 hours that would deliver a breech baby, perhaps if I headed to Canada instead I might have found someone but no one close in ME, NH or VT would willingly do breech. I had an entire plan put together for my gentle csection. I did not request a clear drape which I wish I would have now, because my husband is queasy and I couldn't do that to him. They allowed baby to hang out on my stomach until the cord stopped and then the pediatrician gave her a quick look over right next to my head so I could see everything. Then she went right on my chest. The drape was low and my cords and everything were set so I could attempt to breastfeed while they stitched me up. My midwife came to hold my hand they did "microbial seeding" for me and my baby never left me. I know that can't be the case for many csections especially for babies needing intervention, but it was so nice. They gave me my golden hour and didn't weigh her or do anything else. My husband thinks I should just go for another C-section because of how nice that was compared to my second.
@jhysmath If I end up with another c-section I’ve already expressed this is essentially how I would like it. I know of a few others who have delivered in the same hospital and their experiences in this regard were good so while I really want the opportunity for TOLAC I at least feel comfortable knowing I can have something like this.
@nb658310 I'm still sleeping a ton! I'm less sick than I was (today is 15w1d for me) but still eating pretty carefully or I get sick. It doesn't feel real, but that's because I'm trying not to let it feel real. (Details in spoiler in sig, it's possible this pregnancy won't move forward as planned/hoped.) Sorry to hear about the GD and motivation challenges, that does sound hard! I know it sounds silly, but I sometimes revert to straight-up bribery for myself - I'll keep a count of every day I do the thing I don't really want to do, and come up with a reward for day #10, #20, etc.
@lalarose22 I've had two nicknames in my lifetime, neither based on my name. One is a shortening of my middle name, and the other is a pun and a play on my last name, and the name I go by at Burning Man.
@wiseh I love that folks manage to misspell your name despite you having the most classic spelling. I can't say I'm surprised!
All the c-section/VBAC talk makes me feel like a total newbie. :P I've done some research into both and I know what my preference is, but I also know that birth is one of those things that does not always go to plan. @kboydbowman does having a doula make you worry less about which doctor(s) might be around when you go into labor? I've always thought one slight advantage to scheduled labor is the ability to aim to land on the schedule of a surgeon and/or doctor with whom you have some rapport...but having a doula might make that feel less critical, since you know you'll have someone there on your side no matter what.
First time mom-to-be, due 9/25/22
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
@jhysmath we’re big on initials in my family. I go by LA to just about everyone. My aunt is BA, cousin RA lol. My friends son, Ian, goes by “E” to a lot of folks. That could work for Ezra (great name btw).
@lilienne Having a doula will be a big relief, yes. But there is still no way I will let Evil Doctor touch me.
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
@kboydbowman obviously not! I would think that goes without saying. I was just curious if there were other doctors/surgeons who you liked enough to want to be sure you were around them when it happened.
First time mom-to-be, due 9/25/22
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
Re: The Great Big Queston Thread!
I am second generation Irish and my husband is Irish/Scottish. My side of the family all have very traditional Irish names so it doesn’t seem too far-fetched to me BUT will my teenage daughter hate me for it? Should I give her an easy middle name that she can choose to go by if she wishes? Or should I just shelf my love of the name out of fear of difficulties her entire life?
The opinions of anyone, but particularly those with a difficult name would be much appreciated!
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
I would absolutely not labour intentionally. The uterus can rupture just from the pressure of baby, without any labour, which I've seen in the OR. I would err on the side of extreme caution and schedule the C-section at 36/37 weeks. Babies do great at that gestation, especially with steroids prior. Will they do another classical incision?
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
When my brother was in grade school, his doctor made us a red dye 40 free house to deal with what his teacher said was adhd.
@pangolindrome I can't find any really solid research on red dye 40. I think I would happily follow your plan of "occasional indulgence." I mean, a steady diet of "nothing but doritos" wouldn't be good for you regardless of pregnancy!
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
I like my name just fine, but I was always a little envious of my friends with names that were easily nickname-able. If all goes well, I told my husband I'd like us to pick a name that has a few options, so kiddo can play a bit with names as she grows and gets a sense of identity. Outside of that, I like my name just fine...even if it's weirdly hard to pronounce!
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
- is anyone else still getting sick and sleeping a ton? I thought that would go away but I’m 16w6d and it hasn’t let up.
my nausea let up around 16 weeks and I’m not sure the exhaustion has ever really stopped (I’m 18+3)… I’ve stopped falling asleep on the couch at 7pm for the most part but still not at “human being” level energy.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
I have a question for the group too. For all you ladies that have bought and used the Snuggle Me Organic in the past, did you and/or your baby like it or was it a waste of $$? I’ve heard mixed reviews. I already have most of what I need for baby from my first (aside from needing to stock up on some clothes) and am wondering if it would be beneficial, especially if I need to put the baby down to do stuff around the house. Note that I’m in Canada and the Dockatot isn’t even sold here and shipping is insane so that’s not an option.
@kboydbowman I'm pretty sure since you have posted this that you have met with your Doula? From the course I did when I was learning about VBA#C they were saying that while traditional c-section does carry more risk it is still possible to TOL - the literature ranges from no increase in risk to a 12% chance of rupture, so it's not very conclusive - probably because they don't allow many women to TOLACC due to fear of the rupture. From memory the biggest consideration was the need for induction as this is more traumatic for the body and brings on stronger contractions which can increase your likelihood of rupture, so it is strongly advised against for women with a prior CC scar and to opt for a planned C section if this situation arises. I do like jhysmath's idea of 38 weeks with "gentle" c-section though. If I were you I would continue to research the risk v benefit of each, because we know that vaginal birth is not just a benefit for mum's recovery but associated with a whole heap of better health outcomes for babe. However, my opinion is such because I cried during my c-section and disassociated during the entire event, and still get very emotional thinking about the entire experience. I'm not sure how much that played a part but it took over a year to have the feeling of love for my daughter, rather than just going through the motions of caring for her.
@finneganclan love the name Saoirse! We have it on our list as well as Sadhbh, Aine and Cadhla, all of which are classic Irish spelling. My family is Dutch and my husband's is Irish, so we are going with an Irish name this time as our DD has a Dutch name.
@laj0217 my name is Hannah and people still can't spell it correctly. I get often get Hana, Hanna and Hanah, even though the way my name is spelt is the classic way of spelling it.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
adding to @wiseh my first csection though I was disappointed with having to have a csection was so much better than my second, and my second wasn't traumatic really in the grand scheme of things.
My first was planned because of breech presentation and I couldn't find anyone within 3 hours that would deliver a breech baby, perhaps if I headed to Canada instead I might have found someone but no one close in ME, NH or VT would willingly do breech. I had an entire plan put together for my gentle csection. I did not request a clear drape which I wish I would have now, because my husband is queasy and I couldn't do that to him. They allowed baby to hang out on my stomach until the cord stopped and then the pediatrician gave her a quick look over right next to my head so I could see everything. Then she went right on my chest. The drape was low and my cords and everything were set so I could attempt to breastfeed while they stitched me up. My midwife came to hold my hand they did "microbial seeding" for me and my baby never left me. I know that can't be the case for many csections especially for babies needing intervention, but it was so nice. They gave me my golden hour and didn't weigh her or do anything else. My husband thinks I should just go for another C-section because of how nice that was compared to my second.
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
Having a doula will be a big relief, yes. But there is still no way I will let Evil Doctor touch me.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!