The Great Big Question Thread

jellie603 · December 2021

@runnergirl2018 thanks! I just switched to full water from weeks of half Gatorade and half water because the taste was starting to not sit well with me. I have my first US next Monday so I will definitely check with them and ask for their suggestions. And it definitely fluxgates day to day - some I am pushing the 100oz and some days I get in like 50oz.
STM mom here and I'm only 7 weeks but I definitely feel much more bloat this time around!

runnergirl2018 · December 2021

@tuxielove93 that's exactly what it is. I'm still able to wear all my normal pants, but when I zip things up its definitely a little tighter, and i wore button up pants yesterday and could tell that my lower abdomen was popping out a little (it doesn't help that i've had a c-section)! making sure to wear looser fitting shirts and cozy flowing cardigans!

tuxielove93 · December 2021

Anyone know anything about ear drops and pregnancy? My ear is being, for lack of a better word, f**ky. There is no way I can get an ear infection and take antibiotics. So I need to fix this before it starts.

stardustskies · December 2021

@tuxielove93 Mine were doing that a couple weeks ago. I put a couple drops of peroxide in my ear, let it sit for a few minutes, and then let it drain out. Repeat on the other side. Definitely helped, and the weird symptoms/ beginning ear infection disappeared by the next day.

melanier26 · December 2021

@tuxielove93 Garlic oil can be used for ear infections. Not sure if it would help as a preventative

melanier26 · December 2021

Does anyone know if Braxton Hicks can start as early as 7 weeks?

I had them a lot during previous pregnancies and swear I’m having them again already. Google gives conflicting answers

elmann1 · December 2021

Does anyone recommend some comfy shoes? I've been wearing platform converse (wooo Spice Girls/90s throwback) because my feet are already widening but I need something more comfty/nice shoes for work. What do you all wear? I tried my Doc Martens and they also hurt my feet. I also am not fitting in my jeans anymore, my lower tummy is def wider. Any cozy pant recommendations that aren't pjs?

@tuxielove93 for ear aches pre pregnancy I used Flonase. I think it's safe during pregnancy, but I'm not sure. Last spring I had horrible allergies that made me get constant ear infections and the only thing that worked for me was Flonase. It dries up all that ear drama.

courtneyqdk · December 2021

@elmann1 during my previous pregnancy I experienced a lot of swelling and my feet grew a size and a half - I didn't want to spend a ton on shoes that I would only wear for a few months but I also really wanted comfort and I found the Dr. Scholl's slip on sneaker options from Wal-Mart really worked for me! I'm in Canada so not sure if they are available everywhere but I wore them everyday for the last bit of my pregnancy. I definitely found them supportive and comfortable! (I'm on my feet a good majority of the day too)

LJMoon6 · December 2021

@elmann1 My go to work shoes are my Toms and/or Ked sneakers right now. I wore ballet flats a lot last time too because my feet were always so swollen. But ballet flats and the snow don’t mix lol. I do like that the sneakers can be loosen for when my feet need some extra room.

As far as pants go, I’m only 7 weeks and already can’t button my pants. I know it’s 100% because I’m just fat/bloated lol. It makes me somewhat depressed. I’m starting out much much heavier this time around. I really hope I pop early so I can start blaming it on the baby and not the cheese burger and fries I’m about to go eat lol.

Anyways, there’s no shame in busting out the maternity pants already! Or vuori joggers would be a super comfortable non pj option.

tuxielove93 · December 2021

@elmann1 Target has cheap comfy looking shoes! Maybe something like that? I don't wear them myself, but they always seemed like a cheap but useful option

stardustskies · December 2021

@elmann1 Adidas Cloudfoam!! I loved them so much, I bought 2 other pairs in different colors. They start a bit tight for a day or two and then conform to your feet really well. I've had the first pair I bought for 3 years now and then are more stretched out but still so comfy.

blf2072 · December 2021

This has been an ongoing debate in my house… sounds like a silly question but I’ve read and heard different response ….

WHAT WEEK BEGINS THE SECOND TRIMESTER?!?

ive heard beginning week 13 and also beginning 14.. which is it ? Lol

zinnia19 · December 2021

@blf2072 I keep reading that it's week 13. But in my mind i keep thinking of it as week 12. Somehow that makes me feel better. I'm ready for the second trimester and the end of nausea!

runnergirl2018 · December 2021

@blf2072 looks like the medical community doesn't even agree on that one. it's either 13 or 14. i'm going with 13 to make myself feel better

inthewoods23 · December 2021

@blf2072 lol all my apps say 2nd tri starts at 14 weeks

jamidine · December 2021

@elmann1 if you’re allowed to wear casual shoes I’d suggest looking at New Balance sneakers - they are my favorite, pregnant or not. I’d also say crocs but those are probably too casual even for “casual” dress codes. I’m also a fan of Clarks if you need to dress it up - even the sleeker styles have comfort and support and they are not expensive. I’m grateful to wfh now and wear addidas slides and crocs around the house all day.

blf2072 · December 2021

@zinnia19 @runnergirl2018 @inthewoods23
well I guess it helps to know the medical community doesn’t even know 😂! I like to think it’s week 13 because it’s closer lol but my apps say week 14.

I’m glad I’m not alone in the confusion here ! Lol

inthewoods23 · December 2021

@blf2072 I just looked at what Fertility Friend says and it says 2nd tri starts at week 12 but then 3rd tri starts at week 26! That's not even at all 😂

msspoon12 · December 2021

So, question… I have been having a decent amount of discharge since my FET. Ever since starting the progesterone shots. My hoohaa stays overly juicy and it’s starting to feel raw and irritated. My doc says the discharge is normal but my goodness. Does this last the entire pregnancy or am I the oddball?

tuxielove93 · December 2021

@msspoon12 It can last the entire pregnancy. You can wear a panty liner to try to keep it dryer. And definitely only wear cotton, breathable underwear. If you can sleep naked (at least on the bottom) that will help tremendously too.

Yeah….. pregnancy isn’t really nine months either, it’s more like ten. And due dates are big fat estimates in what amounts to five weeks of potential baby time (37-42 weeks) So it doesn’t split evenly. Annoys me every time 🤣 I always say it’s actually week 12 when I turn 12 weeks because that’s what I NEED to tell myself to get through first tri. 11 days and counting!!

malloryballory · December 2021

hi all, new here! Kinda going through it, my LMP was Oct 15 so when I called my ob (I had a MC in September!) she got me in right away to test prog/hcg which were great/rose well, but when I called to schedule my prenatal she couldn't get me in til my 10th week. I got a little peeved and called another OB and she'll see me at 8 weeks, but I'm still not sure which to go with! the new OB won't let my husband come to my appts (but he can come to the sonograms) - is that normal??

ETA: I'm 8w3 and see the OB tomorrow... I partially scheduled with a new OB because I wanted to know before Christmas - I want to tell my dad

tsh2021 · December 2021

@malloryballory - ftm here too. My OB wouldn’t get me in until 8-10 weeks either. I called around and even called a prior ObGyn that I loved and trusted (out of state now). They said that was normal. I’m not sure why that’s the norm. It seems like at such a critical/ risky period, they would want to see us sooner.

mamadino_ · December 2021

I received a letter in the mail today from my ob about owing them a global maternity fee… I have never heard of this… is this a North Carolina thing or everywhere thing? I’ve talked to a few people I know and they’ve never had to pay one so I am just like what the heck!

runnergirl2018 · December 2021

@francesgs in FL my office did the same thing - I think we had Cigna at the time but I can’t remember. Essentially I paid my fee ($1600) to the OB office up front and it covered all of my OB visits and delivery except for labs and ultrasounds. It was nice to make payments over time instead of being billed a ton afterwards. My understanding is that it was more of what my insurance company did but I’m not positive. The only annoying thing was not everything got billed right away to my insurance and didn’t apply towards my deductible, but it all evened out and the OB office ended up having to refund me $$ by the time they billed since I had already paid other providers and the hospital

i will say I’m in IL now and have United HC. I owed my OB office nearly $2k for 4 visits and ultrasounds and doing a d&c (plus 2k to the hospital) which is more than I paid for my last full pregnancy

twentythree19 · December 2021

@francesgs Yep, I've always had a global maternity fee with my OB. My office has a patient rep who sits down and goes over it with you in person so its not so out of the blue though. Beyond that, all I can do is echo @runnergirl2018

peppylilfoxy · December 2021

We just got back from our ultrasound today and the doc asked if we wanted to do the NIPT (Harmony) test. I'm torn my Hubbs is on the boat of knowing won't change anything and I'm on the fence cuz a) I like being prepared and b) I want to know the sex 😂 but Hubbs doesn't care to know sex. Is it worth doing? I don't know

stardustskies · December 2021

@peppylilfoxy yeah, do it

tuxielove93 · December 2021

@peppylilfoxy A couple of us already discussed why we think the NIPT is worth it over in that thread. I’ll tag you 🙂

tsh2021 · December 2021

Hi everyone- I wanted to run this by you all and see what you think. Apologies in advance for the lengthy post.

Yesterday I had my first OB appt. I was 9 weeks 5 days. Before I went I was told that I would meet the doctor, who would confirm pregnancy by ultrasound and get me an official due date, meet my nurse, who would get my medical and family history, and visit with the financial planner.

When I first got there they had me fill out basic paperwork, but nothing really about previous pregnancies or family history of prenatal issues (which I have). I figured they would probably go over that when the nurse spoke with me. They also wanted me to sign something saying I understood this was my annual exam and I informed them that this wasn't my annual- I was there because I am pregnant, I had my annual in June. The lady said "ya we know, but you will have to sign this eventually anyway." Okay, whatever.

They called us back. The doctor came in with some lady that wasn't introduced. I assume she was a nurse (ore on that later). The doctor did the transvaginal ultrasound. She said the baby looks great, measuring 10 weeks 1 day. We even got to see her move. She then said I could get dressed and they would take me into another room. I assumed I would have time to talk with her as I had some questions and wasn't given any time before the ultrasound to ask them.

They took me to an office-like room where a financial advisor gave us paperwork about how much we had to pay them every visit. A nurse then came in and gave us more paperwork and then said "do you have any questions." She never asked about genetic history or family history of prenatal problems. I volunteered part of it and she didn't seem to know what I was talking about. I told her I did and wanted to know if the doctor was coming back in. She said that usually doesn't happen and I would have to until my next visit to talk to the doctor. But that I could ask her my questions. The gist I got from the three questions I asked- COVID booster right now, I can only have ANY kind of over the counter "stuff" including ANY kind of tea if I am willing to risk my baby for my own comfort, and she no idea what a nuchal translucency scan was. I explained and she was like "Oh you mean like a reassurance ultrasound." At that point, I told her I needed to speak with the doctor.

They took us to another exam room. The doctor comes in with the lady from early that I assume is the nurse. I had lots of questions I wanted to ask but understood that this wasn't their precedent so I kept it to what I thought needed to be asked between now and the next appointment. COVID- wait until 3rd trimester if possible bc that will give the baby the greatest amount of antibodies. A cup of tea at night (and a cup of coffee in the morning) is perfectly fine. The clinic doesn't offer nuchal translucency testing. In fact, it is not offered anywhere in my area. They can do NIPT testing, but she seemed hesitant to do so. They said they normally wait until 11 weeks (fine), but said I would have to wait until after the holidays. That would be pushing week 13 then. I told them that I really wanted to get it done earlier rather than later if possible. The longer you wait around here, the harder it is to terminate for medical reasons if needed (this showed up in my medical records as "Pt wanting NIPT ASAP so pt can terminate." The lady I assume is the nurse cut the doctor off midsentence and said you actually can't terminate for ANY reason in Arkansas right now. (This is actually true. Except in the case of a medical emergency, termination isn't an option in Arkansas right now). According to the nurse, the nearest state that would allow for termination for medical purposes, including lethal fetal anomalies, is Colorado. I haven't had time to look that up yet to see if it is true.

I then got a very lengthy (I felt judgmental) lecture on chromosomal abnormalities and termination.

They did finally agree to do the NIPT testing.

At 2 AM this morning when I couldn't sleep I decided to go to a different OB. The visit as a whole felt unorganized and rushed. The nurse who was going over paperwork with me clearly didn't know what she was talking about. And I felt like I had to argue with them to get what I felt was best for me and my child. And then was judged for even considering termination for fetal abnormalities. (I feel like I should be clear that this is a wanted baby. We would be devastated by that outcome.)

Am I overreacting?

zinnia19 · December 2021

@tsh2021 This is my first pregnancy so i don't have the most experience, but here are my two cents. My first appointment was basically just filling out forms, an ultrasound, and me asking a few quick questions to the OB. It is a practice with both OBs and midwives, and I am choosing to go with the midwives for most of my care. In January I have a longer visit with my midwife in which she will go over health history, do labs, etc. She did let me know that the first ultrasound appt would be brief, so I expected it. The OB I talked to was curt and didn't have the best bedside manner so I was relieved that I won't be seeing her. I would say, go with your gut! You want to see a provider that you feel comfortable with, and it's early on so not a big deal to change. Doesn't sound like you are overreacting.

tuxielove93 · December 2021

@tsh2021 I’m a big proponent of shopping OBs until you are 100% satisfied. I went through 5 providers last time until I got one I was happy with. You want to trust this provider completely. They will make the call if you need something like an emergency c section and the last thing you want is to be questioning your provider in the middle of birth.

If you want someone who spends more time with you, I’d look for midwives. Not ALL of them are better, but as a general rule, midwives spend more time with their patients. I’ve had a number of them over time, and they were always happy to answer as many questions as I had and spend as much time as I needed.

rubyrose_0919 · December 2021

@tsh2021 - ultimately your provider is your choice and you want someone you trust and are comfortable with. If you don't feel comfortable, make the change. ❤

runnergirl2018 · December 2021

@tsh2021 there’s no way I would stay at that office. Trust your gut and find somewhere else.

peppylilfoxy · December 2021

@tsh2021 as someone who has had the good, the bad, and the ugly for not only losses but also for ob's I'd say explore your options until you feel comfortable that your needs are being met and you are being heard. *Tw* I had to literally kick an attending ob out of the delivery room because he was shoving his hand in my face to shit me up every time he tried to encourage me to do a full autopsy on my stillborn son who had not been born yet. Then when I asked for my own ob, he came running (I think freshly showered even) to me and reassured me that the plan he and I had in place for a non invasive external autopsy was the only thing that would happen and that other ob would not be allowed in my room again. Feeling heard is a MUST. *End tw*

stardustskies · December 2021

@tsh2021 You are absolutely not overreacting. I wouldn't step foot in that office again. As someone who has had a previous pregnancy as well as worked as an MA for an ob/gyn office, I can assue you that is not the place you want to be. I hope you have other options in your area.

LJMoon6 · December 2021

@tsh2021 Omg. I’m so sorry you had to experience that. That was not ok. I would be running away from that clinic real fast. At my clinic, the first appointment is always just with the nurse. But she does ask all the important questions (about previous pregnancies, family history, genetics… etc). The nurse for your OB/midwife should be very familiar with all of that plus all the genetic tests and ultrasounds. I’m shocked by your experience, truly. Do not even get me started on the abortion stuff. F*ck. That would be a hard enough situation to be in, you don’t need your doctor belittling you for that decision. I hope you’re able to find a new clinic, and fast! Damn.

tsh2021 · December 2021

Thank you everyone for your responses.

@zinnia19 - I guess I'm not sure what the point is (beyond billing) to bring us in then. If I hadn't gotten to see the baby, I would have gotten almost no information from that visit. Everything else could have been done electronically and saved everyone some time and resources. It was nice to see Tiny Human and all, but it seems like we could have saved a lot of time and frustration by combining the first and second visits.

@tuxielove93 - When you switched providers, were you able to actually talk to a provider and ask questions first, or did they make you formally establish as a patient? I called some other OBs yesterday and they said that I had to do initial appointments with a nurse first. I did some research on midwives in the area yesterday. It seems they mostly do home births. There was a doula that did hospital births, but she didn't have any type of training beyond a car seat installation certification.

@rubyrose_0919 & @runnergirl2018 - I think I'm going to. I'm just didn't know if that was typical for first OB appointments. Everything I've read about what to expect at a first OB appointment says you should have the opportunity to ask questions. I even had a list prepared.

@peppylilfoxy - I can't believe you went through that. Kuddos to you for having the courage to kick the doctor out. I know a lot of people, including myself, who may not have had that bravery. Unfortunately, I have seen a lot of doctors who are dangerous, controlling, arrogant assholes (I used to practice as a medical malpractice attorney). That doctor sounds like one of them. I'm so sorry you were treated that way. I would definitely stick with the doc that came running.

@stardustskies - Thank you. There are a few other options in my area. I'm hoping this isn't the norm around here though. My former ObGYN is technically still an option. He is about an hour away, which is fine for annuals, but not ideal when you are in labor. I would rather do the hour drive though than go back to the place I was at this week.

Does anyone else feel frustrated by how the first trimester is handled medically? I feel like I'm basically on my own with Google as my resource for what to do, not to do the first 3 months. It feels like such a critical period, that is seemingly so easy to mess up (heck, my camomile tea has a warning label on it that says it may cause miscarriage in the first trimester). I don't understand why doctors won't see us or answer any questions until 10-12 weeks. If all of these things out here are so dangerous, it seems like a lot of miscarriages and birth defects could be prevented by the doctor going over them with new mothers early on. If these dangers are simply rumors and the product of too many people posting whatever they want on the internet, it seems like a lot of unnecessary anxiety could be saved by the doctor meeting with the new mom. Either way seems like it would be good practice to meet new moms earlier in the pregnancy rather than wait until the first trimester is coming to a close. (End rant.

)

tsh2021 · December 2021

@LJMoon6 - It is a super conservative area of the country. I should have expected that and been prepared for it. To be clear, that is the worst-case scenario. I just feel really strongly that I know she (baby) is okay. If she isn't, at least I have the information to make decisions with and can prepare. I should have phrased my concern that way.

And honestly, I feel like I'm not really letting myself get attached yet. Which worries me. I'm hopefully that this will help.

skilouise · December 2021

@tsh2021

You definitely are not overreacting. None of that is OK.

I would also consider asking the next OB you talk to for a second opinion about the booster timing. Part of the analysis may depend on how long ago you got your initial series. The advice I was given was to get the shot ASAP, especially with how dangerous COVID is for pregnant women, and now particularly with Omicron. If you get the booster now, you might still have an opportunity to get another booster in 6 months, before your pregnancy is over. It isn't a guarantee, but they might have approved a fourth shot for at least immune compromised patients by then.

inthewoods23 · December 2021

@tsh2021 it drives me crazy too. It seems like most MCs happen before 8 weeks but my OB doesn't do the intake appointment with the nurse until 7-9 weeks. It blows my mind that they don't do HCG checks either. When I called to tell them I was pregnant they basically said "your home test indicates your pregnant so you're pregnant". What if it was a false positive?? I hate that we're expected to go around assuming everything is fine.

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