Low AMH Level

mbradfo2 · April 2021

@tangerine32
Good luck with your stims -- hopefully it continues to be an improvement over your first cycle! I think each cycle the doctors learn a bit about what works with the individual patient and even if you had a bad cycle, you can still have good come out of it!

@JamieH2000
I slept OK last night except for having to wake up to use the bathroom a couple times. The anxiety is real though. FX for good numbers for both of us!!

@andreamm31
Thinking of you today!

Just got back from the lab and now the wait begins. Trying to figure out how to stay busy. Probably going to continue organizing toys, maybe go to the beach if it isn't too hot.

andreamm31 · April 2021

**TW** nothing good here

So she stopped growing at 6 weeks 4 days, but she still has a faint heartbeat so I have to continue my meds and check again next Monday where by then if she the HB stops then I can schedule a D&C with my OB. Im just so upset. This is my 7th fucking miscarriage. What the hell!!!! She had no idea what to do with me because there is nothing they can find wrong with me why my babies don't grow. I'm just so upset I have to continue my meds and keep going. I just want it to be over. The thought of starting over, again and doing this all again is so daunting. And I only have 1 girl embryo left. It's so much pressure. I'm just so sick of all these failures.

JamieH2000 · April 2021

@andreamm31- NO NO NO!! how?! I'm heartbroken for you and tears in my eyes. No one deserves this more than you! I dont get it. I wish I had answers. My only suggestions is a Reproductive Immunologist? I think there are only a few in the country. Everyone in the midwest usually sees Dr. Kwak Kim in Chicago. I have had two friends with RPL get and stay pregnant with her. gosh girl, I am just so devastated for you.

AFM- relief below...

After causing myself a near panic attack anxiously awaiting a message from my nurse (the RE would call if it was bad news only at this point), I got the result- Beta is 414!! good rise from 128 on Friday, so I will take it. I requested a 4th beta on wed or thurs, just since it still seems so low. I think i will also have an early scan on Mon or Tues to make sure its in the uterus and not ectopic.

mbradfo2 · April 2021

@andreamm31

My heart is just absolutely broken for you. This is so frickin' unfair and cruel. I agree with you -- this is just too much. You are incredibly strong but no one should have to deal with this kind of pain. It's horrible when this gets dragged out -- I had the same experience with my first miscarriage. They couldn't really diagnose it at the first scan so I had to wait for a second scan just to talk about what steps for moving forward. That m/c pretty much devastated me for months so I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through -- I thought that pain was so much that I wasn't sure I wanted to continue on the path to bio kids.
Take the time you need -- we're always here for you, as you know - and we're all thinking of you.
Whenever you feel ready to think about your next steps, I was wondering if you had ever thought of doing a consult with Dr. Kwak-Kim in Chicago? She's pretty much the expert in RPL and I'm fairly sure she'll do consults with patients even over video chat/etc to work with their RE to figure out a game plan (she did pre-covid; I haven't heard anything recently but I have no reason to think it's changed). I've heard all sorts of amazing things about her and it was the first thing that popped in my mind that you might want to think about as you take time and consider your next steps.
https://www.rfuclinics.com/our-providers/kwak-kim-joanne/
Thinking of you

AFM

My nurse called a little bit ago with the 4th beta -- 5268!! Yay!! I'm feeling a little relieved now since I was feeling pretty normal over the weekend. We scheduled the first ultrasound for 4/16 which will be 6 weeks 5 days (I think!). So I have 2 weeks to be anxious over everything. She said the plan is to do an ultrasound every week until 10 weeks just as we did with DD. I'm back with the hot flashes and headaches today, starting to get a little bit of nausea. I hate to do it, but I let DD watch youtube kids after lunch because I just don't have the energy to play outside with her right now.

mbradfo2 · April 2021

@JamieH2000

I think we were both posting at the same time! I thought of Dr. Kwak-Kim too; I've heard so many good things and she's really on the cutting edge. AND Your beta is awesome!!! Grow, little one, grow!

tangerine32 · April 2021

@andreamm31 Oh my heart sank when I read your post. I'm so sorry. You're right: this IS totally unfair and cruel. I can't understand the depths of your pain right now but I'll be sending you my prayers.

JamieH2000 · April 2021

@tangerine32- just saw your other post! I am glad things are going better and I'm hopeful for you! I have not really heard of luteal stims, but i do think some have tried it. I never did myself. Keep us posted!!

@mbradfo2- that is a great beta my friend! i wish they would see you before two weeks tho!!

Hopeful_mom · April 2021

@andreamm31 - I wish this was just a nightmare we could wake up from. I can't believe this, I wish I had the right words, I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's all just so cruel and you don't deserve it, you just don't! Did they say theres a chance she could bounce back? I'm sick for you!! I was going to suggest immunology testing too, the NK cells, have you ever had that tested before? I would've suggested dr braverman, not sure who has taken over for him now. Are you on Facebook? There's a group that I've found pretty knowledgeable on the subject.
Can I ask you about your previous headaches, what medication were you prescribed and did it help? I was in the hospital over the weekend to make sure there was no brain bleed as the headaches just escalated and it was debilitating. Worst pain of my life! Was diagnosed with Trigeminal Neuralgia, which is not promising either

@JamieH2000 @mbradfo2

great news ladies, wishing you both continued success, just keep taking it easy! And try to keep the anxiety at bay...they're saying y stress and anxiety could've brought all this on for me. I know its not easy but just try and stay calm whatever you do! And Jamie my HCG was never super high, its the doubling game and thats what happening, so let baby girl do her thing, you're exactly where you need to be!!

Hopeful_mom · April 2021

@tangerine32 every cycle is different and you'd be surprised how your body can pleasantly surprise. Everything you're doing is new to me, good luck and keep us posted!

@Imajin99 thinking of you friend!

@BusinessWife are you doing a transfer soon?

nothing good for me... TW..

AFM: I mentioned I was having headaches but once I started bleeding I thought OK now I will balance back, NOPE, the jolts of pain only kept getting stronger, like someone was tasering my head over and over. Someone said its a sign of covid...really, who knew. Went to go get that tested so far negative thank gd...funny thats the first time I was wishing for a negative result, go figure. Long story short the pain was unbearable and I had to go to the ER at this point to rule out a brain bleed which thank g-d there wasn't one. Left being diagnosed with Trigeminal Neuralgia, happy to hear if anyone has any input at all on it. The meds they prescribe is for convulsions and first have to work up in your system to take any effect....so a lot of good that's doing

I had to stop BF immediately which makes everything that much harder as this was not the experience I wanted for either of us in BF coming to an end. Not sure what the universe is trying to tell me here. Some drs did think the progesterone caused all of this, which is not what my family wants to hear...why would I ever do another transfer then. I'm at a loss and in so much pain and its a joke trying to get an appointment with a neurologist that's not 3 months away!
The last time I was at this ER was with the loss of my twins over 3 years ago, and how odd with bleeding on the current loss I'm back again but for a different reason...trying to look at it as I will leave the ER and then my positive pregnancy will come to me like last time. Trying to find the silver lining here...

mbradfo2 · April 2021

@Hopeful_mom
I know titrating up on those anti-seizure meds is such a (literal) pain. I hope you start feeling some relief. Do you have a primary care doctor who you could reach out to and see if neuro can get you in earlier?

c-town18 · April 2021

andreamm31 - I'm so sorry. I know that's not helpful but I don't know what else to say. This is so f*cking unfair, I'm just angry for you.

Hopeful_mom · April 2021

@mbradfo2 yes my thoughts exactly, its like they cared and wanted to make sure i wasn't dropping dead, ok that's great, but the constant pain is ok to be in every second...I don't get it! I need the good doctor!

hopefuljj · April 2021

@andreamm31 NO!!!! I’m so so sorry lady, I’m heartbroken for you. I’m just so sorry. This is all so cruel and unfair. And having to wait and scan again just makes it all the more painful. I wish I had something to say other than that I’m just so so so sorry. I think it might make sense to see a specialist for RPL, it’s so hard to know what to do and so hard when there isn’t any visible issue to fix but it’s just not working. I’m so so sorry.

@hopeful_mom oh good grief, You poor thing! WTF is happening! And I’m so sorry about having to stop BF!! I know it’s a totally different kind of pain but I deeply empathize with waiting on medication to build up and start working, I just made it past a month with mine and know it takes about 3 to see if it even will work or if I need something else:-/ I’m going to cal my sister tomorrow and see who her neurologist is (if she recommends him) I assume he’s in brooklyn but she may have been going into the city to see him. I’ll text you

@JamieH2000 @mbradfo2 oh ladies, I’m so happy for you both! I am crossing all the things and sending good vibes for things to continue perfectly on the path they are already on!!

Tangerine31 my doctor did check every cycle to see if we could jump in and do a luteal stim! My ovaries never cooperated so I was never able to do one but I really really wanted to because I know that works well for some DOR ladies. Sounds like you have a dry low AMH knowledgeable doctor so that’s great!

[Deleted User] · April 2021

@andreamm31 What devastating news. After all you have been through, I'm sure it was an incredible feeling to think maybe FINALLY things were going to be different this time. I'm so sorry. Take all the time you need to process and regroup. You are an absolute warrior. You will get through this.
<img alt="Hello here are 3 GIFs of cats hugging other cats Enjoy " src="https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.giphy.com%2Fmedia%2FSgZtvjwcfq0ww%2Fgiphy-downsized-large.gif&f=1&nofb=1">
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@Hopeful_mom I am so sorry you're going through this right now. I will PM you in a minute here with whatever info I can provide! <3

AFM: I am just waiting for CD1 here... Meds are coming Wednesday, should be transferring by the end of the month! I have butterflies.

mbradfo2 · April 2021

@hopefuljj
Your little one's first birthday is coming up next month, right? Can't believe it's been a year already!!

@Hopeful_mom
I've always found knowing someone in the medical community helps -- or having your doctor call to see if there's an appt. I would think this would be more urgent than something that can wait 3 months!

@BusinessWife

It's getting real! 4/21 tentative transfer date? If you get a BFP, you will literally miss joining me and @JamieH2000
in the December club by a week! FX for all of us!!!

[Deleted User] · April 2021

Not sure about transfer date yet!? @mbradfo2

<div class=" Spoiler">but yes, I am hoping so hard for the January '22 club! 🙏🙏🙏</div>

mbradfo2 · April 2021

@BusinessWife
I don't know why I thought it was the 21st!

JamieH2000 · April 2021

@lmajin99- been thinking of you lots my friend. No need to come back but know we are all thinking of you.

@andreamm31- same for you my friend. I wish we lived closer in RL so I could do more. Here for you whenever and however we can be

mbradfo2 · April 2021

@JamieH2000
The fact that we're all over the internet really does suck.

@andreamm31
Been thinking of you and angry at the world. Please take care of yourself

@Imajin99
Hopefully your amnio went as smoothly and possible and you have a little clarity moving forward.

I know life's not fair -- but does it need to be cruel?

mbradfo2 · April 2021

@JamieH2000

I meant to ask --
are you doing another beta today or tomorrow?

JamieH2000 · April 2021

@mbradfo2

One more beta tomorrow and then first scan on Tuesday

I don’t love that it’s 5+6, so too early for heartbeat, but they like to make sure it’s not ectopic. Then I go back the following Tuesday as well.

Kp214 · April 2021

Hi,

I’m back for those who may remember me from 4-5 years ago. We are trying again after two failed fet of pgs normal embryos. We debated about doing two more cycles, had put down the payment, and then I caught covid. Then ds(4) got strep and had his tonsils and adenoids removed. It’s been a crazy spring. We are now ready to start again, although our cycle reservation is for July.

Lots of luck to us all!

andreamm31 · April 2021

@JamieH2000 @mbradfo2 so I asked my doctor and she called me today and left me this lengthy voicemail about how reproductive immunologists are not really accredited or go through a residency program and that she gets worried when her patients start going down these rabbit holes and think snake oil salesman can help. So basically she is not open to me seeing one. We have done a pretty extensive RPL work up last year and they literally couldn't find a single thing wrong with me. Ive had biopsies of the uterus, all the blood work , and they cant find anything wrong. Its only my 2nd PGS tested failure with this donor....so I guess its not really time to freak out and think this will never happen, but that is kinda how im feeling right now.

@Hopeful_mom Im so sorry this is happening to you. Did you recently get your covid vax? Ive seen a few people come into the ER with TN after the vax. In terms of meds I took....NOTHING took my headaches away. I was on nortriptyline (a super high dose) fiorinal and oxycodone and nothing took it away. So im not a good person to ask. The only thing that ever took my pain away was Healing Touch and Reiki. Ive seen clients with pain like this and Ive always been able to bring it down a notch or take it away completely, so I would look up practitioners near you. Check out www.healingbeyondborders.org and www.healingtouchprogram.com

@tangerine32 and @c-town18 @BusinessWife and @hopefuljj thanks for all your support ladies. I appreciate the love.

AFM: Just trying to survive each day. We have been through a rollercoaster of emotions. We started looking at adoption as an option but then I watched This is Us yesterday morning and Randall was in a transracial adult adoptee support group and there was this lady who said she wished she had never been adopted and all these people had such complicated emotions with their adoption. It made me realize that its just not gonna be easy and its just as expensive as using a surrogate. Plus, we lose all control over genetics...so we could get a baby whose both of their parents have schizoprenia and drug addiction and a mother who used while pregnant and I just cant deal with all that. So that's off the table.
We have 4 embryos left and im thinking I want to do 2 at a time now because we are having so many losses, I deserve a better shot with putting 2 in and if 2 stick...then Im done! Plus doing 2 more transfers feels a lot less daunting than going through 4 more. Ive had 2 losses with PGS tested embryos with this donor. They say its only a 60% chance of success each time, so I guess its not totally abnormal. I need to just pump the breaks and stop thinking so catastrophically because one of these will work eventually. I have zero auto-immune problems, no clotting issues, no infection, no uterus problems, so we just need to try again. I think if we try 2 more transfers of 2 embryos each and they all fail, I am going to try one more donor cycle with a new donor and then either we try once more with me and then we try with a surrogate. Im not ready to give up having my husbands baby. I just hate that Im gonna be 40 in May. It feels like im running against a clock. I really hope my HCG just stopped climbing and it goes down quickly after this D&C. I already scheduled it for next Thursday because I know it takes forever to get on the schedule with covid. So im having my covid test Monday right before my ultrasound. If her HB is still there, then I will just cancel. Im trying to not fall to pieces, but I cant lie, im so depressed. This sucks so bad

mbradfo2 · April 2021

@JamieH2000

I actually asked my doctor why he doesn't do scans earlier -- he says he does if the beta numbers are concerning for ectopic as ectopic pregnancies will double slower than intrauterine! But since my beta numbers are good, he'd rather me just come in a bit later so we can hopefully get a HB on the screen at the first scan. I suppose I can wait!

@andreamm31
All the creepy internet hugs for you -- I wish there was something more we could do. You deserve this so much and you've been through the ringer. I know your beautiful baby is out there; the road just keeps twisting and turning. I'm glad you have a plan, obviously I would have much preferred if you didn't need one

We also explored adoption but were hesitant for many of the same reasons (plus the risk involved as scams, etc). I think transferring two is a good idea -- my doctor let me do the same thing because of my history of early loss. And you are right about the probability -- 60 percent is practically like flipping a coin and we would never really freak out if we got two tails in a row and think there was something wrong with the coin. Hopefully your HCG goes down quickly and you can get back on the horse.

lrynwnab · April 2021

@andreamm31 I have been following your posts and I'm so sorry. I am interested in your thought process going forward because I had 2 unexplained losses last year at the same time period after transfer as you did, with PGS normal embryos. Honestly if I had more than 1 donor egg left I would probably pursue a surrogate. It seems like a lot of work with just one embryo though. I'm so sorry, and I'm thinking of you.

JamieH2000 · April 2021

@kp214- of course I remember you! Wow, what a spring

do you have to go thru retrieval again? Or still have one frozen? I so hope this will be easier this time!!!

@andreamm31- gosh girl, let me just say, you are a true warrior for continuing and fighting on for your baby! I know that baby is out there. If you want to try again right away, then I hope that everything goes smoothly ans quickly for you. No one deserves a smooth journey more. Sending all my love.

@mbradfo2

Yes that makes sense! Good to know about the slower doubling with the ectopic. That is reassuring for me too. I think the early scan is just extra conservative and part of me doesn’t want it. But hopefully things will be right on track and it will be reassuring

angelicabr1972 · April 2021

@andreamm31 Like PP I have been following this thread and I wanted to share my DE experience with. I started my IVF journey a little late (42). After a failed egg retrieval, we moved to DE. **TW** My first donor was 22, healthy with proven pregnancies. I got 8 eggs and ended up with 3 embryos, the first 2 transfers I got pregnant but MC both at around 6 weeks, the 3rd transfer was BFN. My second donor was older, 28 also healthy but no proven pregnancies. Also got 3 embryos and got pregnant with DS with the first transfer at 47 y/o.**TW**
Please do not lose hope. It took us 6 years, it was a bumpy road and more than once I was convinced this was not meant to be, but give it time. Focus on yourself and all the other blessings in your life.

Kp214 · April 2021

@JamieH2000 congratulations!! I’m so excited for you and cannot wait for an update. We have to start over again, retrieval, testing, and fet. We did a transfer in 2018 that failed and a transfer in nov. **tw** that was bfp the day before beta and then beta came back less than 5. We did find out that I have inflammation of my uterine lining so that may be why the one in 2018 didn’t work.

@andreamm31 I watch This Is Is also and really related to it for the first couple of seasons. I’m also adopted, from Korea when I was 3 months old. I do not regret being adopted. Was it awkward at times being one of a handful of minorities in school? Yes. But it is so wonderful to have parents who love and want me. So, if you want to explore adoption, you may be able to meet the birth mother, get a history, etc if you want to keep this option open. You don’t have to though. I just wanted to give another side of it. Whatever you decide to do will be fine. It will be what’s right for you.

mbradfo2 · April 2021

@Kp214
I'm new-ish here -- -TW- I joined the Bump at the tail-end of my pregnancy with my daughter (okay, I thought I had 5 more weeks! but someone was impatient!). Just had my first transfer in the journey to #2 and currently a little over 5 weeks along!

@andreamm31 @angelicabr1972
I lost hope too -- and that was only after 1 m/c (but 5 years of TTC + treatments). Fortunately, no one else around me lost hope and I was able to rely on my doctor and his team to be positive even when I felt very depressed and negative. I don't know if I would haven't gotten through the journey without them. I hope you have similar support from your team.

andreamm31 · April 2021

@angelicabr1972 thank you so much for sharing your story, that definetly gives me hope. And congrats on getting your miracle baby.

@mbradfo2 thanks friend. I'll take creepy internet hugs everyday. Thanks for your support.

@Kp214 thank you so much for sharing your journey. I think I'm just not ready to give up on my body yet. My husband wants to spare me the trauma of going through miscarriages, but I think a birth mother backing out after the baby is born would be just as traumatic and losing all that money just seems so risky. I've read some horror stories and I've also read some great uplifting stories. But the reality is, I have 4 embryos left and not ready to give up on my body. I know I'm meant to have a baby. I can see if I had some diagnosable problem that would make me incapable of carrying or if I had like a hysterectomy, but I need to try.

@JamieH2000 I hope this next part goes smoothly so I can move forward. Hopefully my body cooperates this D&C. I'm sure my doctor will be having ptsd nightmares the day before after my uterine artery rupture last time.

@lrynwnab I guess my thought process Is with a 60% chance each time, I can't give up after 2 failures with this donors eggs. I still have 4 embryos left. I've heard of so many women who its taken 3 or 4 transfers to be successful. Im sorry about your struggles.

Kp214 · April 2021

@andreamm31 I completely understand not giving up on your body. Definitely keep going with your 4. you have a great chance with the four remaining to be successful. I wasn’t sure if you had researched other adoptees stories and wanted to share in case you hadn’t.

lrynwnab · April 2021

@andreamm31 I think that makes sense. Thank you, you are giving me inspiration. I feel the same way about adoption; infant adoptions are very rare nowadays and overseas adoptions are largely over or on hold. My cousin fostered-to-adopted two half siblings from the same mom and it’s been quite a difficult journey years later due to drug use in the womb. You’re also helping me realize I could get another donor if need be. Thank you.

andreamm31 · April 2021

@lrynwnab I was told in this group about Utah Fertility Clinic which was way more affordable for a donor cycle than here in San Diego. @lucyb1954 is my hero for guiding me to there and @ladyp0tter shared a cycle with me and she is 18 weeks. It was about $20,000 if I hadn't shared the cycle. And I had my embryos shipped for about $500 back here to San Diego for my second transfer after the first was a chemical. Right now, adoption is like 60k + and same with surrogacy...so for me, it makes sense to keep going with what we have. And if I ran out of embryos, I think I still might do another donor cycle with a different donor through UFC.

@Kp214 thank you🙏

mbradfo2 · April 2021

@andreamm31
We actually had our full packet into a local adoption agency + attorney before I decided to give IVF one last ditch attempt so I didn't have regrets about giving up on my body. Obviously the rest is history! None of us can predict how our journey will go, even though we would love to!

JamieH2000 · April 2021

@andreamm31- just curious if your husband ever had karyotype testing? If he had a translocation or anything, I would think most of the embryo wouldn’t be genetically normal, but I think PGS only counts that the genes each have a pair, and maybe not any translocation... perhaps that could be causing late losses?

andreamm31 · April 2021

@JamieH2000 yup, she did a full RPL workup of him and me last year after my loss at 10 weeks. His karyotype was completely normal, as was mine.

JamieH2000 · April 2021

@andreamm31- gosh what a medical mystery. Clearly more research is needed. I’m so sorry you have no answers. It’s hard when there is nothing to “fix”. I’m sure your RE and OB are out of ideas? Have you ever followed Our Journey to three on Instagram? She did eventually use surrogacy but also had unexplained losses and saw Kwak Kim but they could never find anything wrong either.

andreamm31 · April 2021

@JamieH2000 there are so many accounts with that handle!! One girl I found actually goes to my RE clinic haha. But its not her that you are talking about. Can't find that girl.
With my 5 losses with my natural pregnancies, those are all chromosomal issues causing losses. 3 were chemicals. My eggs are TERRIBLE! These last 2 were with donor eggs. So the last 2 are really the only unexplained as they were pgs normal. I've see so many on here have 3 or 4 failures before having their success, so I don't think I'm too far off the norm here. My friend just told me about a friend of hers who had 13 losses before she had her 3 kids. Dear God, I hope that is not me!!! But I don't think I'm at a surrogate just yet.

mbradfo2 · April 2021

@andreamm31
It's so frustrating when it's 'unexplained' -- which just basically means, we can't figure out WHY right now. My eggs aren't too great either -- all of my losses have been chromosomal abnormalities. I just lucked out that I had 1 healthy one in the bunch -- and a sticky one at that. (And to be fair, DD continues to be very stubborn and persistent!) You have more embryos left; no reason that your golden eggs shouldn't be among those!

I am in a moms group in facebook and the ladies are always talking about TTC and how "omg it's taking so long, it's been 5 months!". I mean, 5 months sounds brilliant. And it's so quaint to have sex to make a baby, isn't it? -sigh- I was talking to one of my friends who has twins and telling him about my recent success, waiting for u/s. He was like, "Well, it seems to be going much smoother this time!" I thought to myself, "I suppose if you consider having to do IVF and genetic testing -smooth-." Heh.

JamieH2000 · April 2021

@andreamm31- I get that!! With 4 pgs left you def have to try again. I just never want you to go through this again. You have been through more than anyone I’ve met. Praying so much for this next embryo to be your THB!!!!

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