August 2021 Moms

Questions thread

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Re: Questions thread

  • @Panaceia I am really hoping the same covid rules stay in effect over the summer for EI. I'd take home what I make now and it would make taking the 18 months off so much easier on us! Where in Canada are you? I am in BC just outside of Vancouver.
  • @baby_yoda1986 I'm in Ontario...not far from Toronto:) I hear you on the EI! I'm going to try to save as much of my salary as I can between now and the summer and hopefully I can have a nice chunk saved so I can feel comfortable being off for another 18 months.
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  • Are you guys going by LMP or O date for your EDD? There is only a difference of 2 days for me, so I know it doesn't really matter, and I know my OB will give me my official EDD...BUT...just curious what everyone else is doing.
  • @Panaceia the app I used for tracking BBT, OPKs, etc. goes by O date. So that’s what I use. My doctors uses LMP. There’s actually only 1 day difference between the two.
    For my first pregnancy at the u/s I was measuring 4 days ahead, but my doc was like “eh, that’s not a big difference let’s just stick with your LMP”. Kiddo arrived 4 days early, right on time with the u/s! 
  • Thanks @pickle-chips :) My OB changed my date by 3 days last time (moved it up) which I guess really only mattered for chosing an appropriate RCS date. I know it's not really a big deal but so early on I like seeing 4+2 that O gives me rather than 4+0:)
  • @Panaceia I'm going by O. This was my first cycle post MC so if I went by LMP I'd be like 6 weeks instead of 4 
    I'm not sure what my dr will go by right now but I know she will go by the dating scan when I get that. 
  • Oh, totally @Panaceia! Even though mine is only the difference between 4+0 and 4+1 I am taking that extra day tyvm! :D
  • Thanks @baby_yoda1986 and @pickle-chips :) I'm switching to O and taking those two extra days...so that would make me 4+2 and puts EDD August 25th (which won't matter since my RCS will be at least a week before that 🤣)
  • @kiwimangohoneylemon, I’m also a high school teacher. Honestly, I have put off TTC for months and months over fear of COVID. And...then I got it the week I found out I was pregnant. It’s been a roller coaster ride of emotions to say the least. Because I’ve now had it, I’m actually less anxious to be in the classroom, if that makes sense? We’re on a hybrid schedule and have only 2-7 students in the classroom at any given time. And I’m in a highly active area (southern CA), so I don’t see us going back full time any time soon. I actually think we’ll probably move to full distance learning again soon. I’ll take a full semester of maternity leave when the time comes (August-January) but Canada’s 18 month mat leave is looking REALLY good to me right now! 😂
  • @Panaceia My midwife goes by O date if you know it. It’s been accurate according to dating scans with both babies so far.
  • Thank you @jynjer3 :) That makes me feel better about it!
  • Any mama’s hoping for a VBAC this time?  Anyone had a successful VBAC? 
  • @emily1052 I'm going RCS again mostly because of age and the fact I've already had 2 CS but I have lots of friends who had successful VBAC. Good luck!
  • edited December 2020
    @emily1052 🙋🏻‍♀️!

    Before getting pregnant I discussed with my OB and she wasn’t opposed. I had a csection after a failed induction due to emergent pre-e. Every pregnancy is different so I hope I can have a vbac this time around. Only caveat (other than the pre-e) is that my son was born at 36+5 and weighed almost 9lbs. I am 5’1 and very petite. I can’t imagine how big he’d be if he cooked for 40 weeks. 😳
  • What special drinks are you drinking over the holidays? It is only a few weeks in and I’m already sick of my Topo Chico/Waterloo seltzer rotation. What is your favorite mocktail or special drink? 
  • @surrenderdorothy SO always buys me sparkling grape juice. It's in a bottle that opens just like champagne so it feels special:)
  • @surrenderdorothy @Panaceia
    if you love prosecco (like me), you’ll love Grüvi Dry Secco.  
    https://www.getgruvi.com/shop/non-alcoholic-prosecco 

    if you like mocktails, there’s this non-alcoholic spirit called Lumette. I haven’t tried it so can’t say if it’s worth it. I’m sure they have recipes on their cite https://enjoylumette.com/

    Also - pasteurized egg nog is DELICIOUS! 
  • @Panaceia @joellelamb thank you! I plan to research recipes today, too, so I’ll post what I find here. Drinks with herbs in them (like rosemary) and tonic sound really good to me now so that is what I am after. 
  • Okay, two questions! 

    1): This is probably a dumb one, but I'm totally confused by the online due date calculators I've used and I'm wondering if someone can explain how they work? I know when I O'd so I've been calculating based on date-of-conception (I figured that would be more accurate than LMP, since I have a slightly longer than average cycle), but I'm just curious how they are getting the date they are giving me (I O'd on December 5 and the calculators say I'm 4 weeks and 2 days pregnant... but obviously it hasn't been 4 weeks and 2 days since December 5!).

    2): Anyone have any must-read pregnancy book recommendations? This is my first, I've barely ever even been around babies or pregnant people, and I feel like I need a crash course!
  • @the_most_happy it's super confusing, they start calculations based on 2 weeks before conception as that's the time your egg is maturing. 

    I don't have any recommendations on books but I am sure others will. 
  • @the_most_happy
    1. if you go by ovulation you still add the extra two weeks.  That's just how they calculate it.

    2. Depends on what your looking for.  What to expect when you're expecting has a lot of info.  I didn't like it as much because it just wasn't my style.  I've heard good things about the Natural pregnancy book, but I haven't read it myself.  Personally, with my first (this is #4) I asked my midwife a ton of questions and that taught me way more than any books I read about pregnancy itself.  I would write questions as I thought of them in my phone and then pull out my phone and ask all of my questions at my appointment.  For birth prep I had a ton of books I loved like hypnobirthing and Ina May Gaskin's book about childbirth.  Her book about breastfeeding and the Le Leche League breastfeeding book are great too.  Not a book, but if you use Instagram, look up @mommybabylabornurse she is AMAZING and has so much info about pregnancy, birth, and newborn care.
  • thereisalightthereisalight member
    edited December 2020
    @the_most_happy yes like @baby_yoda1986 said, they date pregnancy back to the first day of your period, so ovulation would typically be day 14 before the start of your new cycle. It threw me off with my first too!

    My favorite is “Pregnancy Day by Day”
    it has wonderful info and graphics, and gives you more info everyday of your pregnancy instead just by the week. 

    Congrats!!
  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    edited December 2020
    @the_most_happy if it helps my O date was December 2nd. I'm 4+5 today with an EDD of August 25th. So you should be 4+2 with an EDD of August 28th:) They normally calculate using the first day of your last period as day 0 (and do this with the blanket assumption that everyone ovulates on cd 14) so you're considered pregnant on the first day of your last period. Weird right?

    No recommendations for baby books. I read a few but didn't like any:(

    ETA...typos...
  • Thanks for the explanations about the due date, everyone! What a weird way to calculate things, I guess it makes sense though since officially most doctors count from LMP, so giving you a due date that more accurately reflects the amount of time you've actually been pregnant would put you on a timeline that is out of sync with the traditional 40 week pregnancy.

    Definitely taking note of the book recommendations! @Panaceia, any particular books you'd recommend avoiding? Haha.
  • @the_most_happy Honestly reading any of them just stressed me out. It made me feel like I was doing something wrong if I wasn't following the books. No 2 babies are the same and you will always know what is best for your baby. I know many people who swear by certain books and I'm sure there are lots of good ones out there with some great advice. Personally though I preferred the advice from the women in these boards when I needed advice/suggestions/tips and tricks etc.
  • They do it that way because most women know LMP but won't necessarily know conception especially considering fresh sperm can survive for 5 days in a women's body. Silly but yeah you're "two weeks" pregnant at conception. If you so IVF you're 19 days pregnant at the transfer date if you use a 5 day embryo. 

    Can anyone recommend a baby name book that isn't absolute trash listing like 7 variations of each name as unique names? I like classic names if that helps. Not looking for unique spellings or anything like that. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker TickerMarried DW <3 08.2013; AI 2x; IUI 6x; IUI #7 05.2015; DD born 2.2016 o:); Reciprocal IVF FET #1 on 11.18.2020 
  • @claireloSC I have an old school one my sister bought me years ago. I'll try to find it and let you know what it is:) I love it!
  • @the_most_happy I agree with @obsessedwithoranges that Expecting Better is a great book!  I love all the statistics.  I’m a preparer so I did the same when I was pregnant with DS, read all the books trying to figure out what I was supposed to do next lol.  
  • @the_most_happy I hated what to expect when expecting and most others as well. I find them patronizing and fear-mongery.
    Same! Hated that book. @the_most_happy my favorite book is Birth Day by Dr. Mark Sloan. It is in narrative form. I found it informative, not fear based, and very tender. I give it as a gift to my friends when they found out they are pregnant and have gotten rave reviews from them as well. I am not sure if it is in print anymore but you should be able to get it used on Amazon.

    Also... and completely un-baby related but I love the shout-out to Anne Boleyn in your screen name. :)
  • I feel like I read ALL the baby books when I was pregnant with my first. And the fact that I can’t remember a single one shows you how helpful
    I found them! The book that I DID love (and which was actually really informative as a FTM) was Ina May’s Guide to Breastfeeding. That book was a lifesaver for me! I agree with @MrsPyrowiz on that recommendation!
  • @surrenderdorothy aww thank you! I get so excited when people get the reference lol, love Anne Boleyn.

  • @the_most_happy me too! If you have any good book recs let me know. The Other Boleyn Girl is one of my favorites. 
  • @surrenderdorothy omg, me too! I know it's totally not historically accurate at all, but that book is such a comfort read for me, I revisit it like once a year.

    If you're interested in nonfiction about Anne, a couple months ago I read "The Lady in the Tower" by Alison Weir- it focuses on the 2-3 weeks between her arrest and execution. Obviously a bleak read, but I enjoyed it! 
  • rgn12rgn12 member
    edited December 2020
    ***TW***

    Unfortunately, I am likely leaving this birth month group. I have experienced cramping and period-like bleeding since yesterday morning. I called my OB right when they opened today, and they suggested waiting it out at home and once the bleeding stops to take another pregnancy test to see if I am still pregnant or if it is negative. Does that sound right? I would have been 5+2 today. 
  • Hugs @rgn12. I haven’t had direct experience with this, but personally I would go ahead and take a pregnancy test and see how it compares to what you saw previously. It might assist in making the determination of MC or not, but hopefully they would do a US or beta later, since that would be most accurate. US would be best indication. Bleeding wouldn’t alter hcg concentration unless the bleeding was massive. Try wiping first, then peeing? I know I wouldn’t be able to wait ❤️  You can always repeat it as the bleeding slows down. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @rgn12 oh no! I'm so sorry! 

    *TW*

    With my chemical in September my line was still getting darker 2 days after bleeding started...it darkened for 2 days and then faded out. I think the line was gone by the time the bleeding actually completely stopped. I'm so so sorry ❤
  • @rgn12 I'm so sorry you are going through this. I would ask them to order betas (at least two) to see if your hcg levels are dropping or an ultrasound. 

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  • Thank you @emmylou78 , @Panaceia , and @Kenneylynn3

    I will definitely try these things, just to verify for myself. This is not what I expected at all, but maybe part of it is covid and they’re trying to limit people that come in the office. I really thought they would have had me come in. 

    Thanks again for the kind words and advice! 
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