Yep. 41 hours total. In large part my choice because I was induced and wanted to give my body time to get ready. I think it sounds worse than it felt in the moment because I wasn't really aware of time for the most part (except when nurses changed shifts).
Any experience or thoughts about the Mason Bottle? Facebook's advertising is hitting me pretty hard, but so far this is the main one that's seemed to be a real contender. I like the idea that the jars are easy to clean and then can be used later for holding baby food (or even other things later on down the line). I swear I'm not a hipster, but already use mason jars to hold dried goods (cheaper than the plastic containers), smoothies, and take things like soups/smoothies/parfaits to work (when I used to leave the house), and find them very useful.
@akoros I don’t have any personal experience with the mason bottle, but they seem pretty pricey to me. You can get 4 plastic Tommee Tippee bottles (which we loved) for $16 and a 3 pack of glass Avent bottles for $24 on Amazon, and one diy kit without the mason jar is $20. I think they look great, but it really depends on how much you like them and the number of bottles you will need. If you are staying home, and you don’t need very many then it might be worth it to you. If you are having to pump and send bottles to daycare you will need considerably more. One other thing to think about is if you are planning on pumping you may be able to get a plastic thread to attach your bottles directly to your pump if you get a name brand bottle like avent. That is what I did last time whenever I needed someone to give the baby a bottle. I just kept a few ready to go in my fridge, and after they got used, I would pump again. Definitely something I didn’t realize I could do the first time!
@readermom1 Thank you! I haven't looked at bottles yet, so didn't realize the price differential. I'll definitely be pumping and need to send bottles to daycare, so that's a good point.
@gingkomama Good point, I don't remember (I went on a tour last fall). For the most part they seemed to use whatever you send, but definitely worth asking. The only thing I remember was them telling me to buy many different types of bottles/nipples, because whatever I choose the kid won't like
Any mamas NOT gain weight for awhile? I am 17 weeks and pretty much gained 3lbs and I dont even know if that was just natural fluctuation that I always have. It kind of sucks to be honest, seeing talking about how they're consistently gaining weight (as we should be!) and Im like is something wrong? Im going to ask my doctor tomorrow at my ultra sound but I feel like Im failing. I dont know what to do. Im reading on some sites some mamas dont start gaining til after 20 weeks but are there any anecdotes to help me feel better?
@maisas I'm the same way. I'm bigger to begin with but at this point baby only weighs a few ounces, so unless you really need to gain weight (as in you're underweight to begin with) OR you're just going HAM on snacks it's not much of an issue. I started at 209, immediately went up to 215 (progesterone bloats me like crazy), then was down to 212 by 12 weeks, and now just today I'm 213. That's it, no concern. I only expect to gain another 10-15 pounds total and probably won't start until around 26 weeks (if I follow my pattern from my son).
@maisas I was just thinking that myself today. I initially lost 16 lbs and have gained like maybe one back. It seems weird to have another month before my appointment. I hope to gain some weight back before then. But thanks @willashbaby for the reassurance. I just eat when I can and stay hydrated. Also a friend always told me that the baby will take what it needs (even if that means stealing it from you!). Let me know how your appointment goes and what your Dr says.
@dobiemom11 I will definitely let you know! I have also been told that too, baby will steal from you haha. Hopefully it's just being hyper focused on what everyone says is normal. @willashbaby Thank you! I guess its important to remember our bodies will do what theyre meant to do as long as were not neglecting it too hard. Its kinda nice to know too with your previous son that it was a bit later in your pregnancy you started gaining.
@maisas for sure. By the end of my first pregnancy I never even regained what I had lost in the first trimester. My Son was 8.4lbs with a 4lb placenta, lol. He was lacking for NOTHING. I lost over 25lbs from just delivering him.
@maisas It’s taken me a long time to start gaining. I lost 3 lbs during the first tri because I was so sick. Then I was just staying just a couple lbs over my original weight for a few weeks. I’ve only started gaining more regularly in the last 2 weeks and I’m now about 7 lbs over starting weight (I’m 18w3d).
I was eating plenty but also working out so it was tough getting enough good calories in. I’ve started adding a protein shake in each day just for some good calories to supplement.
As long as you’re not feeling sluggish or starving, you’re probably doing just fine. I wouldn’t worry too much and I’m sure you’ll start seeing the scale tick up soon!
@maisas I still haven’t gained a pound over my pre-pregnancy weight, just had my OB appointment this week and they are not concerned. I’m 17+3 and I started off overweight, my BMI was right at 30 although I have a very muscular build and doctors usually tell me not to be as concerned about that #. Between weeks 4-9, I lost 4-5lbs. I have since gained it back as of my Tuesday weigh in. About 2lbs a month. I would have sworn I would be over my pre-pregnancy number and was shocked not to be. I also think some weight loss is due to muscle loss since I’ve been on bed rest for the past month and normally exercise 3-4 days a week. I’m getting back into exercising now, and I’m going to try my best to keep future gain in check although I know the majority of the weight gain is coming up!
@maisas - I asked my OB about this at my telehealth appointment 2 weeks ago, because I also hadn't gained anything yet. She said that as long as I'm eating at least 3 good healthy meals a day, and I'm not starving myself or restricting calories she's not concerned about my lack of weight gain. I am 18 weeks today and I am finally up 4 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight, and it's also the week that I popped and finally have a real bump. (For reference I was 118 pre-pregnancy and 123 now at 18 weeks)
For all of you who have hardly gained and everything looks healthy...I am so jealous! Already put on 14 lbs over here by 16 weeks. So I am on the opposite end of stressing. I try to eat moderately decent and exercise daily but it always comes on so fast! Hoping I can get it to slow down.
@maisas I'll chime in as someone who hasn't gained anything and didn't gain the last time. With my first pregnancy, I lost weight for the first two trimesters and ended up 9 lbs under my initial weight at the end. After giving birth I was down 30 lbs from my initial weight. I'm plus size and diet had a big effect. A lot of the weight loss was cutting out beer and wine. This time around not eating out (especially fried food) is contributing to some of the weight loss.
ETA - To clarify I wasn't trying to lose weight with either pregnancy. Dietary restrictions due to being pregnant were what I meant
A friend of ours bought us a Fisher Price infant to toddler rocker, and now I’m debating if we really need a swing, too (it’s on the registry, but not purchased yet). We have limited space, and I tend toward the practical, so we’re trying to look into items that can grow with the baby. I guess I’m just wondering if it’s really necessary. What do you guys think? I’m also considering that the more “seats” we have, the more places our cats will end up sitting when baby’s not in it 🤣
@dreamscapes_ I didn't get a swing until my 3rd baby, and it changed my world! I highly recommend everyone go with the swing if they are only going to go with one style of baby seat. A swing that goes both front to back and side to side as you never know which way baby will prefer on a particular day.
My first was meh on the swing, but the bouncer was awesome! We had an automatic bouncer and I could usually get a few minutes sans baby to shower or grab some food.
@maisas you can do hands and knees on most birthing beds WITH or without an epidural! The problem is if there is anything that goes “wrong” ie shoulder dystopia or massive tearing or nuchal cord it’s harder for OB’s to react appropriately... so it’s better for you to deliver anatomically speaking on your hands and knees (upright) or left side laying with your right leg in the air but better for the docs and nurses etc on your back. Overall it’ll be up to you!
@dreamscapes_ that's exactly what we had with DS. We never used a swing, only the rocker. He used it until he was two so it was a great purchase for us. His favorite spot was on the coffee table looking out the big window.
@willashbaby O wow thats honestly super awesome news!
@laurenspdx Yeah I am definitely trying to be chill about it, but it turns out Ive gained 13lbs though my doctor said she still wants me to make an effort to eat enough to gain more
@shelmcclel Fff you are meeeeeeee in that the shock seeing that I wasnt gaining. I do eat more so I was like wtheck. But my ultrasound check up at 17 weeks said (meh kind of) otherwise. I started at 143 lbs at 8 weeks and was 151lbs at the check up. But she put my starting weight at 138 because i typically flucuate between 135-145 pre pregnancy.
@feather_heather I kind of wish my OB was more open like that. She was like "Were gunna watch your weight" with concerned o__o even though from my first appointment with her I gained... 8lbs? and overall according to her I gained 13 but Im glad to hear that other OBs arent as concerned
@tryingktogku Yeah I started reading about that stuff too! Ultimately in my head I think maybe I just want to be sat up, no feet in stirrups, hopefully no epidural and NO guided/coached pushing.
Thank you to everyone that responded, Im a bit slow at responding But yeah Left my check up at 151lbs that felt really good I was so relieved but it kinda sucked that my OB was like ehhh" youre supposed to gain 20-30lbs" well Im only barely hitting 18 weeks I have time dont freak me out
Also, regarding weight gain, I basically don’t pay attention to the weights I get at the doctor. I’m always wearing clothes, it’s late in the day, and they started me at a lower weight than I really was so it’s just a mess. I’ve been weighing myself every couple days in the morning without any clothes so it’s actually accurate. According to my own measurements, I’ve now gained 8 lbs. but my doc thinks I’ve gained like 13. Just goes to show that the exact numbers can vary wildly and you shouldn’t get tooooo hung up on the number unless it’s vastly (10lbs+) off of where it should be.
I wouldn't get to hung up on weight gain, unless you aren't gaining at all, and the dr. is concerned. I've had pregnancies where I've gained 50#s and where I've gained 20#s at the end. In most cases breast feeding and birth took most of the extra weight off. The only exception was at my last birth I had a 9# baby, but only left the hospital 2#s lighter!
@maisas I'm 16 weeks and think I've just started to gain weight (I'm saying "I think" because this gain came after I gorged myself on nachos this weekend and ate way too much the weekend before, so it could come off still), but even still we're talking about 1lb. That said, I've gained about 8 inches around my waist. So far my doctor isn't concerned, I had about 20lbs to lose before I got pregnant and my BMI was just over 30, so I have some extra that can be repurposed. I'm mostly just shocked, because I assumed that I'd be gaining like crazy given my body's history with weight in general. That said, there's still time...
The other weekend my MIL told me she gained 75lbs while pregnant with my husband. She admitted that she was probably eating too much, but in the end both she and he were healthy with no complications. My mom gained 25lbs with me. Bottom line: don't stress too much about it. While there's general advice to gain 20-30lbs, that gain isn't necessarily steady throughout the whole pregnancy (at points you'll gain, and some points you may lose). Make sure you're eating enough and (more or less) healthfully, and you should be fine. If it's not fine, the doctor will notice and talk to you about it.
Hi guys - we are starting to think about prenatal classes. Our OB offers a 1-day class that we will do, and we’re both going to do a refresh on infant/child CPR through the hospital. Any other recommendations or things we should consider? I keep getting advertisements for Tiny Hood but it looks like the “classes” are very brief - like 10 mins or less.
I also follow Taking Cara Babies and saw she offeres some.
@shelmcclel Before my first, I also went to a breastfeeding class as well. You don’t really know what it’s going to be like until you’re in it, but it was helpful to have an idea of what to expect, different holds you can use, as well as having somebody to call for support when it wasn’t going well!
ETA: It isn’t exactly a class, but Harvey Karp’s happiest baby on the block is also very helpful. You can read the book, but there’s also a short dvd that summarizes the good stuff from the book. Both are available at my library. It helped me, but REALLY helped my DH with our first.
@readermom1 awesome! Thanks! And I’ve already read it! I loved the common sense concepts and real life lessons/how to info. Planning to fully adopt the 5 S’s method if it works. Planning to get the DVD for my husband and our parents to watch closer to our due date!
We took Bradley Method classes which really did help me through the first 18 hours of labor before I eventually got an epidural. It helped DH really understand what was happening a ton as well.
I am starting to look at baby carriers. I know that we would like a structured soft carrier, since it seems the easiest for newbies!
My husband and I are similar in height, but he probably weighs 150lbs more than me with big broad shoulders. I am not opposed to finding two different carriers, but didn't know if anyone had suggestions on one that might fit both our body types. We have been looking at boba and tula brands, but are open to suggestions. Also if you have a favorite brand, we would love to hear why you love that one.
My friend suggested we just go try them on at the store, but that is a little more complicated now with the virus situation than when her kids were born. I would love to have a target in mind if we choose that route.
@dobiemom11 we have a soft structured carrier that works great for us. I am curvy and my hubby is a similar amount of weight bigger than I am that you stated (and almost a foot taller too) and it has worked well for us while sharing it 😊 it's a Lillebaby 4 in 1 carrier. I recommend when you purchase a carrier, see if you should also buy an infant insert to be able to safely use when baby is fresh and teeny tiny! We did purchase the infant insert for our Lillebaby and I felt a LOT better using the carrier when my baby was very very small (7lbs) and through the first 3ish months.
Has anyone given birth in an upright position? I keep reading it's literally 'better' but like 60% of women in the US lay down. Why was this or why was this not your experience?
*dirty lurker from August*
I did with my first! I was at a freestanding birth center, though, so unmedicated. I agree with others that having an epidural would make it a lot harder. Potentially IVs would as well. Some hospitals will cap the IV off if you don't need it so you have more freedom of movement.
My experience with birthing upright was amazing. I was on a birthing stool. It looks like it'd be super uncomfortable and like you'd constantly feel like you're falling through a hole, but it's not. My birth center's had padding and was quite comfortable. It was set against the edge of the bed, and my H sat behind me supporting me. You can't use it by yourself because then you might actually fall! You have to have someone supporting you. It was so nice to have his arms around me and be able to hold both his hands and lean against his chest between contractions.
I ended up being partially reclined with my second, which wasn't near as nice. That's where I just ended up being. The pushing was harder, and the biggest thing was I had nothing to brace against. With the stool, I could push my feet into the floor and push on H's hands and chest.
As the baby came out, the midwives grabbed her and helped me hold her against my lower belly (very short cord!) Then I stood up with their support, they pulled the stool out from between my legs, H stepped out from behind me, and I basically just backed up a step and sat down on the edge of the bed, and they helped get me into the bed and comfortable.
I'm due in about two weeks with my third, and I'm definitely planning to do the stool again at this point.
@shelmcclel Depending on your goals for birth/ideal birth, I would also consider an independent birth course. I think it's especially important if a natural or pain medication free birth is a goal of yours. I also think the idea of some breastfeeding education is a good one if you're planning to breastfeed.
@dobiemom11 We have multiple carriers, and my husband and I prefer different things. Plus, I don't like sharing a carrier with him because it's annoying to fully adjust it every time. When baby was really little I liked the stretchy wrap and ring sling (I'm currently in the market for a new ring sling for this one) and when slightly bigger, I loved our Beco Gemini because it didn't require an infant insert (this was my husband's favorite for a long time). My favorite and longest-used carrier was our Tula, but it doesn't fit until baby is quite a bit older (I forget exactly how old but maybe 8 months or so?).
@dobiemom11 I am the same hight as my husband too and he is much more broad shouldered then I am. We have loved the lilliebaby 4 in 1 as well as also used the Boba wrap when the kids were really little. Both worked well for both of us.
@bkinn26 and @gingkomama and @hadassah2020. Thanks for the advice. It seems like there is so many options and can be a little overwhelming. I will check out the Lilliebaby and Beco. They make a Tula Free to Grow which is supposed to work for infants 7lbs and up (if you love that brand and want to use the same carrier for longer).
@dobiemom11 I have loved my Ergo since I got it 6 years ago! My 6 year old could still sit in it if he wanted lol. I’ve used it with all 3 of my kiddos and will with #4. My hubby uses it with no problems also.
@dobiemom11 - I have an Ergo 360, which you can technically use at any age, but it did seem to swallow DD when she was tiny. I preferred using a soft carrier when she was a newborn up to ~3mos. You can change their position from a totally-enveloped carry to one where the baby's legs splay out against you. I have a K'Tan, but the Solly and other similar wraps are all supposed to be great.
So I have a question about baby carriers. Does anyone have any suggestions for one if you have chronic back pain? I’m looking into a wrap for now, but I’m a bit concerned because of my back. I’m also on the high end of plus size, so I don’t know if they even make carriers (besides wraps) that would fit me.
Re: Ask a BTDT Mom
older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7
@babymakes9
Yep. 41 hours total. In large part my choice because I was induced and wanted to give my body time to get ready. I think it sounds worse than it felt in the moment because I wasn't really aware of time for the most part (except when nurses changed shifts).
@willashbaby Thank you! I guess its important to remember our bodies will do what theyre meant to do as long as were not neglecting it too hard. Its kinda nice to know too with your previous son that it was a bit later in your pregnancy you started gaining.
I was eating plenty but also working out so it was tough getting enough good calories in. I’ve started adding a protein shake in each day just for some good calories to supplement.
As long as you’re not feeling sluggish or starving, you’re probably doing just fine. I wouldn’t worry too much and I’m sure you’ll start seeing the scale tick up soon!
ETA - To clarify I wasn't trying to lose weight with either pregnancy. Dietary restrictions due to being pregnant were what I meant
Diminished ovarian reserve
BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7
@laurenspdx Yeah I am definitely trying to be chill about it, but it turns out Ive gained 13lbs though my doctor said she still wants me to make an effort to eat enough to gain more
@shelmcclel Fff you are meeeeeeee in that the shock seeing that I wasnt gaining. I do eat more so I was like wtheck. But my ultrasound check up at 17 weeks said (meh kind of) otherwise. I started at 143 lbs at 8 weeks and was 151lbs at the check up. But she put my starting weight at 138 because i typically flucuate between 135-145 pre pregnancy.
@feather_heather I kind of wish my OB was more open like that. She was like "Were gunna watch your weight" with concerned o__o even though from my first appointment with her I gained... 8lbs? and overall according to her I gained 13 but Im glad to hear that other OBs arent as concerned
@tryingktogku Yeah I started reading about that stuff too! Ultimately in my head I think maybe I just want to be sat up, no feet in stirrups, hopefully no epidural and NO guided/coached pushing.
Thank you to everyone that responded, Im a bit slow at responding
@dobiemom11 heres my very late update
older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7
The other weekend my MIL told me she gained 75lbs while pregnant with my husband. She admitted that she was probably eating too much, but in the end both she and he were healthy with no complications. My mom gained 25lbs with me. Bottom line: don't stress too much about it. While there's general advice to gain 20-30lbs, that gain isn't necessarily steady throughout the whole pregnancy (at points you'll gain, and some points you may lose). Make sure you're eating enough and (more or less) healthfully, and you should be fine. If it's not fine, the doctor will notice and talk to you about it.
ETA: It isn’t exactly a class, but Harvey Karp’s happiest baby on the block is also very helpful. You can read the book, but there’s also a short dvd that summarizes the good stuff from the book. Both are available at my library. It helped me, but REALLY helped my DH with our first.
My husband and I are similar in height, but he probably weighs 150lbs more than me with big broad shoulders. I am not opposed to finding two different carriers, but didn't know if anyone had suggestions on one that might fit both our body types. We have been looking at boba and tula brands, but are open to suggestions. Also if you have a favorite brand, we would love to hear why you love that one.
My friend suggested we just go try them on at the store, but that is a little more complicated now with the virus situation than when her kids were born. I would love to have a target in mind if we choose that route.
I did with my first! I was at a freestanding birth center, though, so unmedicated. I agree with others that having an epidural would make it a lot harder. Potentially IVs would as well. Some hospitals will cap the IV off if you don't need it so you have more freedom of movement.
My experience with birthing upright was amazing. I was on a birthing stool. It looks like it'd be super uncomfortable and like you'd constantly feel like you're falling through a hole, but it's not. My birth center's had padding and was quite comfortable. It was set against the edge of the bed, and my H sat behind me supporting me. You can't use it by yourself because then you might actually fall! You have to have someone supporting you. It was so nice to have his arms around me and be able to hold both his hands and lean against his chest between contractions.
I ended up being partially reclined with my second, which wasn't near as nice. That's where I just ended up being. The pushing was harder, and the biggest thing was I had nothing to brace against. With the stool, I could push my feet into the floor and push on H's hands and chest.
As the baby came out, the midwives grabbed her and helped me hold her against my lower belly (very short cord!) Then I stood up with their support, they pulled the stool out from between my legs, H stepped out from behind me, and I basically just backed up a step and sat down on the edge of the bed, and they helped get me into the bed and comfortable.
I'm due in about two weeks with my third, and I'm definitely planning to do the stool again at this point.
@dobiemom11 We have multiple carriers, and my husband and I prefer different things. Plus, I don't like sharing a carrier with him because it's annoying to fully adjust it every time. When baby was really little I liked the stretchy wrap and ring sling (I'm currently in the market for a new ring sling for this one) and when slightly bigger, I loved our Beco Gemini because it didn't require an infant insert (this was my husband's favorite for a long time). My favorite and longest-used carrier was our Tula, but it doesn't fit until baby is quite a bit older (I forget exactly how old but maybe 8 months or so?).
Diminished ovarian reserve
BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020