@lizanet I know!! I’ve been feeling some of the kicks but not everyday. I’m just starting to feel movement more often and I love it but ugh. When I want it to happen it doesn’t.
But when it does it’s just the best 😊
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17 EDD: 5/16/18 DD born 5/10/18 Postpartum Complications
Not entirely baby related, but I'm starting a remote consulting job (part time) today. I am hoping to make enough to pay for DS's daycare and put the rest towards the deductible/copay on maternity, delivery, and my GD counseling and meds. It's with the new incarnation of my old team, so I feel comfortable with most of the key players. FX it's a good fit, productive, and helps us close a financial gap until this baby is born.
Also, I'm so done with getting 5 days notice that my husband is going out of town, when he's already out of town. I'm too broken to be solo parenting so much, especially with school back in session, so back to twice a day bus stop trips.
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@pourmeanothermocktail I had to solo parent DS for one night while DH was out of town (last night) and by the time I got him home from daycare/me from work I had an hour 15 mins to make us both dinner, eat, clean up, jammies, read books and do all the things before rocking him to sleep. I am exhausted and don’t know how people do this often or with multiple kids! I’m super fortunate that DH most often works from home so is available to help because wow that is not.easy.
@lizanet I feel the same way. Logically I know they have so much room to hide from the dopler still. I know they aren't big enough for constant movement either but I'm just always worried. This go is so much more worry than the last.
I’ll join the club. I really wish I were feeling movement. I get about a week after each OB visit where I feel reassured that baby has a heartbeat and is otherwise doing ok, and then I go back to worrying until the next appointment. At least the anatomy scan is breaking up the four week cycle this time, right in the middle, so I don’t have to worry for as long.
My latest agita is about sleeping position. I can’t seem to get comfortable enough to fall asleep except on my back and I know I shouldn’t sleep on my back at this point, so I’m convinced I’m going to hurt the baby.
@FigTreeMama do you have a pregnancy pillow? Sometimes I lean slightly back onto the pillow and the pressure on my back will get me comfortable even though I'm still on my side. I have awful insomnia and was up from 2 to 4 for no reason but I can get comfortable to start.
@runwmusic same here with my daughter I had no worries especially after I hit the 2nd tri. But this pregnancy I have had the worst anxiety ever. At least we arent alone in this... or crazy lol
We’re back from our cruise! Had a blast even though DD literally only ate ice cream and fries, which was a bit stressful. Disney cruises are AMAZING for kids!
Add me to the movement anxiety club. I’m still not entirely sure if I’m feeling movement or digestive things. I can’t wait until it’s consistent. My next appt is the 24th and that feels so far away.
@pourmeanothermocktail I had to solo parent DS for one night while DH was out of town (last night) and by the time I got him home from daycare/me from work I had an hour 15 mins to make us both dinner, eat, clean up, jammies, read books and do all the things before rocking him to sleep. I am exhausted and don’t know how people do this often or with multiple kids! I’m super fortunate that DH most often works from home so is available to help because wow that is not.easy.
That sounds about right. I have no idea how I manage on a daily basis. Just keep going and ignore the dog hair that needs cleaning up...
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@pourmeanothermocktail gosh I’m sorry. That sounds so difficult, especially pregnant and in pain. My DH worked long hours before this year so I solo parented regularly and it was so hard! I was so relieved when he got a new job opportunity. It’s been hard at times starting over financially but the time we have now has been so worth it. I hope this is a temporary season for your family! Sending you love and strength from afar!
I'm in the same boat as everyone else regarding the worry! I don't even really get fully reassured after the ob visits and hearing the heartbeat because then I'm like—oh, but is he growing properly?? I then try to compare how much I'm "supposed" to be showing with how much I'm "actually" showing, which of course is utter nonsense. I haven't had an ultrasound since 7 weeks, so it's been a loooong time without a visual. Anatomy scan next week has me both excited and anxious. heh
I go back an forth on whether or not I've felt movement. I'm pretty sure I have... but then it's infrequent and inconsistent so I think maybe I haven't. Our anatomy scan is at the end of the month and I'm hoping everything's good but I'm also trying not to borrow worry. I didn't feel movement early with my first either so maybe I'm just oblivious. FX that the anxiety calms for everyone and you all can enjoy the "good" trimester!
In other news, this baby is 40% baked! (16 weeks yesterday). I love counting milestones, because it helps me feel like the MNT/insulin regime will end some day. My hips feel more spread-y this pregnancy and all the walking I'm doing has left me with perpetually sore butt muscles. I also managed to gain half a pound in the last month (this is huge for me... I struggle to gain any weight during these hyper managed pregnancies and last time lost 15 lbs over all before delivery)! I'm still down over all, but holding steady or even slight increases are a win.
Any of you second/+ time moms had an iron crib? My son’s was wood and I assumed I’d get a wood one for this baby, but I’ve found an iron one on FB market that is just dreamy. Just curious if the sides would be uncomfortable for a baby to lay against, as my son is always against one of the walls of his crib.
@kjack86 the amount of times ds has banged his head on the crib, an iron one would make me more nervous. I'm sure he'd of chipped a tooth by now and he was sturdy early on.
Has any used or is considering using a Doula? I’m going to have a hospital birth but think I will want the extra support even though I am probably considering having an epidural.
This is my first pregnancy and I am planning to go without an epidural. I am not an all natural, granola person, I just want to give my body the chance to do what it was created to do. I feel confident that I can do it but I am not opposed to an epidural if I strongly feel that I need it. I'd love to here from other mommas' natural birth experiences and any advice that helped them! This might be a good topic for a new thread.
@spvern we used a doula for DD and I ended up having an epidural! To be fair the plan was original to not but I had some complications which meant I got one after 24 hours 😅. I loved having her with me! Not sure I’ll do it this time but she was great when I was a FTM
I think this would be a great new chain? Birth stories and a place to ask questions for FTMs?
In the meantime, consider checking out he podcast “The Birth Hour”. I listened to it religiously starting at about twenty weeks to prepare and I’m so glad I did since I ended up being induced. Many of the interventions I learned about happened to me so I was really glad I took the time to be informed.
I did not have a doula and also got an epidural after the first 24 hours though so not any help on these questions 😂
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17 EDD: 5/16/18 DD born 5/10/18 Postpartum Complications
I'm up for a thread on not-medicated birth/labor or whatnot. I hesitate to call it "natural" if only because that seems to me to be calling birth with medication "unnatural."
I hired a doula with my first, but due to crazy circumstances she was unable to attend, and I ended up abused and coerced into a section at the hospital.
For my second we did a home birth, with a doula, and I'm so happy she was there. It was 31 hours from start, and I was up for way too long and my husband and mom are both useless when tired.
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
I went unmediated with both of my previous births and it's the plan with this one.
One thing I'll say is many I speak to have an idea that pushing is the painful part. In my experience, contractions are painful once the water breaks; pushing did not hurt. It was hard work, but pushing with the contractions actually reduced their pain. Toward the end of dilation I naturally started gently pushing into the contraction and it helped reduce the pain.
I was very lucky that my water didn't break until 9.5cm with my second delivery and I went almost the whole labor in reduced pain. I mean, it's not fun, but it's not agony. And it's not the ridiculous scream fest shown on movies/TV. Just focus on your body, view contractions as the opening tools they are and you can do it!
I would share on a birth stories thread but did get an epidural and plan to for this one as well hoping for a vbac! I personally had no issues with my epidural and would get another in a heartbeat, and also had an SIL with major issues after getting hers so understand both sides.
I’ll plan to start the birth stories thread on Monday when we have a little more action on the board usually! May had one at one point so I’ll dig that up and copy some of their stuff.
I’m with you @pourmeanothermocktail. I hate when people call an in medicated birth a natural birth and imply that other ones aren’t. Not everyone has a choice when it comes to the birth they’d like (ex. I have lupus and have to have a hospital birth for bleeding issues) but I’ve been told my epidural, vaginal birth was unnatural. But considering the induction when I actually had platelets of my own to use took 45 hours I’m so glad I had the epidural or I wouldn’t have had energy for pushing. I just wish women could stop judging each other on their birth choices. Carrying a baby for 9 months, any form of birth, and postpartum recovery are all hard enough without the stigma involved. If you reach your goal for unmedicated birth, you absolutely deserve respect for that. But my birth wasn’t unnatural simply because I used pain meds.
Sorry for the rant. It drives me crazy sometimes how hard it is to find resources for interventions and hospital birth that are compatible with unmediated birth strategies. Both are so important to know going in but there’s not much out there that speaks to my situation.
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17 EDD: 5/16/18 DD born 5/10/18 Postpartum Complications
@alli392 It's so hard. On one hand, some people get shamed for having a surgical birth or medicated one, on the other many get scoffed at for saying they don't want drugs, get told "there's no medal" etc. Sigh. What I want for every one of us ideally, is a low stress, uncomplicated, safe birth that they choose.
My only argument or frustration is when people are abused, coerced, or even downright lied to to have interventions forced upon them, or even just strongly suggested to them, without being given the total risks or full story. It's not an informed consent if you think baby is in a crisis, and later find out doctor was just impatient. Ditto though on not wanting interventions withheld if you need or want them. It's just irritating.
I've had two drastically different births, one was abusive and forced, one was non-medicated at home. NEITHER ONE WAS EASY OR SIMPLE!!! They both were hard and hurt. But being shamed about my first was ridiculous. I was already in bad enough shape. End rant.
I'll share my stories in detail if we start a thread, but in spoiler and with massive TW on parts.
To note for first-timers, epidurals and spinals don't always work for every person. They don't work for me.
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
Not all the way pregnancy related. But after 4 years of dialysis my momma got her kidney yesterday! I got the phone call at 4 am, the hospital said she was a back up X3 and the only match. I was so emotional. I think the baby was doing backflips with me because I felt him/her extra all day. My 4yearold accidently plopped down on me to sit on my lap and fell on my stomach. I ended upgoing to the doctor just to make sure everything was okay since I had enough stress going on and was having discomfort. It may of been all the excitement. But baby's good, my mom is good, LIFE is good.
@lizanet Hooray for your mom, that's so exciting! I hope she continues to do well!
Toddlers and pregnancy are no joke together! Luckily our bodies are pretty good at protecting our babies! Glad you're both doing well too! I've had way too many toddler belly smashes in the last two pregnancies. Way. Too. Many.
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@lizanet that is great news about your mom! Sorry for the baby scare but glad alls well there too.
I had planned on laboring without meds as long as I could and knew I wanted an epidural eventually. Induction contractions combined with my water breaking were paaaiiinnfffuulllll and I ended up getting it early into the process. It worked great for me and I plan on getting another. Really hoping I go into the labor on my own and can wait a bit longer since it slows everything down. One thing I learned is it's OK to have a plan but be flexible. Nothing I was hoping for happened and that's just fine. Ds is OK and I'm OK and that's what matters.
@pourmeanothermocktail@alli392 "Natural" is what I hear it commonly referred to. I appreciate your perspectives on the wording and agree that referring to it is as medicated vs. unmedicated is a better choice!
I also hate the term natural. I had a 36 hour labor and got an epidural after 24 as they thought I’d have to get pitocin (my water broke first and I got a temperature) but I don’t view myself as having failed for getting that intervention. Every labor deserves a medal!
@lizanet That’s so incredibly great! I hope she has a smooth recovery!
I was induced at 41 weeks. I honestly felt ashamed of having to be induced and very few people knew about it. Even now. I'm definitely not ashamed anymore. It was the only way to ensure my husband was home for the birth because of his job.
I will say that whatever decisions you make in regard to your birth make sure your partner knows. My plan, because I'm an anxious person and need detailed plans, but majorly struggle if things dont go according to my plan was that this is what I wanted to happen but I was going to go with the flow of what worked for me and my body and listen to the midwives. It worked for me and I was happy with my birth experience.
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@ErikandAfton I am a planner too and tried to go with the flow but was a little too naive. I remember going to lunch with a friend the day before I was induced and she was giving me advice on what to do if I ended up with a c section and I completely ignored it because I figured I wouldn’t need one. Same friend ended up bringing me underwear to the hospital after I did in fact have a c section and needed something that didn’t hit my scar. Having a plan is great, but being willing to adjust that plan to what’s best for you and baby is better.
I was induced at 38 weeks after a NST where my BP was slightly high and the amniotic fluid measure was low. I was really upset about being induced, because my body clearly wasn't at all ready. My son hadn't even dropped yet.
To paraphrase: it went poorly, then it went horribly, fentanyl doesn't work for me at all, I cried happy tears when I got my epidural and could have kissed the OB who agreed that it was time to move to an emergency C. Immediately after my C my BP and glucose went back to normal and it is an all's well that ends well story whenever anyone asks.
Needless to say, nothing at all went to plan for me, beyond getting a healthy baby and mama out the other side. I sincerely hope you all get the birth experiences you want, but how you navigate through that intense time has nothing to do with the legitimacy of your birth experience. It's all valid. And no one's a failure for doing the best the can with what they're dealt. ❤️
One other request on this topic. I haven't seen it yet, so definitely NOT trying to call anyone out. But, while yes, healthy baby and healthy mom is a definite goal for everyone, I would love if we could avoid saying that "it's the only thing that matters."
If only because technically that was true after my first was born (3 weeks later), but that line was dropped on me all the time after his birth, and I was abused, traumatized, and my current doctors think the abuse during that birth was a major reason my pelvis got so broken up and didn't heal up after first baby like it was expected to. I was shocked when people told me to "just be grateful baby is healthy" when I had been subject to assault, battery, lies, forced into unnecessary surgery, and then being kept in the dark, being kept from my baby, refused a wheelchair,
TW baby health
etc, and my baby was on a total ventilator (completely unable to breathe at all, not just needing oxygen support or CPAP). During that time I was told "at least your baby is healthy." Except that he wasn't, and I wasn't, and even if we had been-seriously just surviving birth and being able to go home isn't the only goal. For sure, not everything goes according to plan, and you'll likely all need some flexibility, but, I also think everyone being respected and treated as a human being with feelings and brains is important. End rant.
End TW
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
Re: January Randoms
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17
EDD: 5/16/18
DD born 5/10/18
Postpartum Complications
BFP: 10/1/19
EDD: 6/12/20
Also, I'm so done with getting 5 days notice that my husband is going out of town, when he's already out of town. I'm too broken to be solo parenting so much, especially with school back in session, so back to twice a day bus stop trips.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
Add me to the movement anxiety club. I’m still not entirely sure if I’m feeling movement or digestive things. I can’t wait until it’s consistent. My next appt is the 24th and that feels so far away.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
In other news, this baby is 40% baked! (16 weeks yesterday). I love counting milestones, because it helps me feel like the MNT/insulin regime will end some day. My hips feel more spread-y this pregnancy and all the walking I'm doing has left me with perpetually sore butt muscles.
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17
EDD: 5/16/18
DD born 5/10/18
Postpartum Complications
BFP: 10/1/19
EDD: 6/12/20
I hired a doula with my first, but due to crazy circumstances she was unable to attend, and I ended up abused and coerced into a section at the hospital.
For my second we did a home birth, with a doula, and I'm so happy she was there. It was 31 hours from start, and I was up for way too long and my husband and mom are both useless when tired.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17
EDD: 5/16/18
DD born 5/10/18
Postpartum Complications
BFP: 10/1/19
EDD: 6/12/20
My only argument or frustration is when people are abused, coerced, or even downright lied to to have interventions forced upon them, or even just strongly suggested to them, without being given the total risks or full story. It's not an informed consent if you think baby is in a crisis, and later find out doctor was just impatient. Ditto though on not wanting interventions withheld if you need or want them. It's just irritating.
I've had two drastically different births, one was abusive and forced, one was non-medicated at home. NEITHER ONE WAS EASY OR SIMPLE!!! They both were hard and hurt. But being shamed about my first was ridiculous. I was already in bad enough shape. End rant.
I'll share my stories in detail if we start a thread, but in spoiler and with massive TW on parts.
To note for first-timers, epidurals and spinals don't always work for every person. They don't work for me.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
But after 4 years of dialysis my momma got her kidney yesterday! I got the phone call at 4 am, the hospital said she was a back up X3 and the only match. I was so emotional. I think the baby was doing backflips with me because I felt him/her extra all day.
My 4yearold accidently plopped down on me to sit on my lap and fell on my stomach. I ended upgoing to the doctor just to make sure everything was okay since I had enough stress going on and was having discomfort. It may of been all the excitement. But baby's good, my mom is good, LIFE is good.
Toddlers and pregnancy are no joke together! Luckily our bodies are pretty good at protecting our babies! Glad you're both doing well too! I've had way too many toddler belly smashes in the last two pregnancies. Way. Too. Many.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@kyrwyn Thats so exciting for her!! How is she doing? Keep us posted!
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17
EDD: 5/16/18
DD born 5/10/18
Postpartum Complications
BFP: 10/1/19
EDD: 6/12/20
I had planned on laboring without meds as long as I could and knew I wanted an epidural eventually. Induction contractions combined with my water breaking were paaaiiinnfffuulllll and I ended up getting it early into the process. It worked great for me and I plan on getting another. Really hoping I go into the labor on my own and can wait a bit longer since it slows everything down. One thing I learned is it's OK to have a plan but be flexible. Nothing I was hoping for happened and that's just fine. Ds is OK and I'm OK and that's what matters.
@pourmeanothermocktail @alli392 I absolutely agree with you both about "natural" vs medicated and unmedicated.
I was induced at 41 weeks. I honestly felt ashamed of having to be induced and very few people knew about it. Even now. I'm definitely not ashamed anymore. It was the only way to ensure my husband was home for the birth because of his job.
I will say that whatever decisions you make in regard to your birth make sure your partner knows. My plan, because I'm an anxious person and need detailed plans, but majorly struggle if things dont go according to my plan was that this is what I wanted to happen but I was going to go with the flow of what worked for me and my body and listen to the midwives. It worked for me and I was happy with my birth experience.
To paraphrase: it went poorly, then it went horribly, fentanyl doesn't work for me at all, I cried happy tears when I got my epidural and could have kissed the OB who agreed that it was time to move to an emergency C. Immediately after my C my BP and glucose went back to normal and it is an all's well that ends well story whenever anyone asks.
Needless to say, nothing at all went to plan for me, beyond getting a healthy baby and mama out the other side. I sincerely hope you all get the birth experiences you want, but how you navigate through that intense time has nothing to do with the legitimacy of your birth experience. It's all valid. And no one's a failure for doing the best the can with what they're dealt. ❤️
If only because technically that was true after my first was born (3 weeks later), but that line was dropped on me all the time after his birth, and I was abused, traumatized, and my current doctors think the abuse during that birth was a major reason my pelvis got so broken up and didn't heal up after first baby like it was expected to. I was shocked when people told me to "just be grateful baby is healthy" when I had been subject to assault, battery, lies, forced into unnecessary surgery, and then being kept in the dark, being kept from my baby, refused a wheelchair,
TW baby health
etc, and my baby was on a total ventilator (completely unable to breathe at all, not just needing oxygen support or CPAP). During that time I was told "at least your baby is healthy." Except that he wasn't, and I wasn't, and even if we had been-seriously just surviving birth and being able to go home isn't the only goal. For sure, not everything goes according to plan, and you'll likely all need some flexibility, but, I also think everyone being respected and treated as a human being with feelings and brains is important. End rant.
End TW
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green