Welcome @alisongem and I'm so sorry to hear you feel that way! I particularly relate to the anxiety. I went off of anti-anxiety medication when I found out I was pregnant, but it's definitely been difficult. I posted about this before, but I've been suffering from pretty bad insomnia, primarily as a result of the anxiety. I'm seeing a psychiatrist specializing in maternity and post-natal care on Monday to see how to best handle symptoms while using the safest possible medications. I sometimes think that, in an effort to preserve the purity of a pregnancy, the mother's health becomes secondary. Talking about it definitely helps and you feel less alone with all the yucky symptoms.
@hayhay2501 so jealous but so happy for you! Congrats that will make all the difference
@alisongem never too late to join the party! Glad you found your way here. I couldn’t eat until about 14 weeks too (had no problems my first pregnancy), and then had a glorious week or two before getting a cold/stomach bug/influenza all within a few weeks of each other. It was awful! And the drainage made the nausea linger for forever. My daughter currently has the other kind of influenza so I’m bracing myself for another bout. Being pregnant is no joke already and then getting hit with feeling so sick is just miserable. Hang in there! Once I finally started feeling better from all the nasty bugs (by which I mean, like, two weeks ago) it has gotten easier from a physical standpoint. And don’t worry about movement too much. Check out the January randoms and symptoms discussions-we’ve all felt or not felt things at different times!
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17 EDD: 5/16/18 DD born 5/10/18 Postpartum Complications
@alisongem You are definitely not alone in the not-glowing through this pregnancy thing. Some of us here have complications (I have gestational diabetes), or have been battling illnesses along the way, or have scary prior experiences that they're dealing with anxiety about.
We've also had a pretty extensive discussion this month about not feeling movement yet.
Welcome to the group. I hope your pregnancy gets easier from here. ❤️
@alisongem I'm having a hard time too. Financially we're not ready, this was an unplanned baby, so we're not really emotionally ready, both my other kids are young and in difficult phases...one isn't walking or talking yet and is almost 18 months old. And I suffer with bad SPD-meaning I can't really carry kids around without pretty strong pain, also walking and stairs is hard-but I stay home with my kids, have a walk to the bus stop twice per day, carry the younger one, and my husband travels.
I actually loathe being pregnant in all honesty. I'm grateful that my body can get pregnant and carry babies to a safe gestation-but it leaves me in severe pain somewhat disabled to do it. It's worth it, but not at all pleasant for me.
No shame at all in not enjoying it, or having a hard time. And no shame in needing medication to handle anxiety or nausea either. Healthy moms are important too!
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
I got my first unsolicited "unhelpful" comment today. The neighbor asked what we were having and when I said another boy, they immediately suggested that we should try again for a girl. Nope. Two is the number. Two has always been our number. Three is right out. Baby's assigned at birth sex changes nothing about all the reasons that two is our upper threshold. Among them: #neverpregnantagain
@kyrwyn Uch I HATE that. Why do people think you need to have a mix of genders? I‘m one of three girls and my dad constantly got “poor you” comments. Why does having three girls mean my dad was disadvantaged as a parent? I’m an 100% certain if this baby is another girl we’ll get the same comments
@hayhay2501 I definitely imagined having a daughter when I used to think about someday being a mom. I had huge anxiety that I wouldn't know how to be a boy mom when I was expecting DS. Turns out, I'm great at it! And a bunch of the things I imagined doing with a daughter DS1 is interested in (because duh activities aren't gendered if you don't make them gendered).
I suppose people think I'll miss out on some parts of the parenting spectrum by having only boys. 🤷♀️ I figure I'll have two different kids and we'll see what happens.
@kyrwyn Ugh. I selfishly wanted a daughter due to less pee on bathroom floor (and all over me as in infant), but I wouldn't have had more kids than planned JUST to have a girl or a boy. Our activities and toys aren't gendered. Our daughter wears mostly my son's passed along clothes, etc. We didn't plan this third baby, but even if all were boys (or girls) that wouldn't mean I would want a fourth!
They're all individuals anyway, trying to assume interests and personality based on their sex parts is weird.
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@kyrwyn if I’m having another boy I’m considering telling people we don’t know again just to avoid those comments. We’re done at two (tbh, DH is done at two, I could for sure be convinced for a third but he is DONE) and I swear as soon as I returned to work from my first maternity leave people were asking me if we were going to try “for a girl.” 1. Rude 2. Not how it works, but thanks. There’s definitely a part of me that will be sad if I never get to have a daughter, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love my son(s) just as much. And no, we aren’t having a third just so we can try for a girl. Thanks but no thanks, Karen.
People have absolutely no respect when it comes to that stuff. After we had DD, people would literally stop us in a store and say stuff like "oh wow, a boy and a girl. So you're done, right?!". Like, mind your own business and stop trying to family plan for us. Maybe we want two kids, maybe we want a dozen, but it's up to me and my husband, not some random stranger in the grocery store. Why can't people focus on the positives? "Oh, two boys, how nice that they will have a forever teammate to play ball with" or "two girls, wow, they will love being able to grow up and share clothes". Ugh. We are blessed with any and all kids that we have regardless of their sex, and it's a shame that other people can't mind their business or share in the blessings!
We’re having our second girl and could not be more excited About it. I keep thinking people will be “disappointed” for us but so far everyone has been great! Maybe because we hope to have more than two kids if possible. But I love that they’ll be able to share so much (and not just clothes) or maybe because I never had a sister. Either way, we’re excited!
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17 EDD: 5/16/18 DD born 5/10/18 Postpartum Complications
I hated the "Oh, you have 1 of each, good job" like I had ANYthing to do with it.
I wanted my second to be another boy because we could stay in our two bedroom house I loved, bunkbeds, hand me downs...I loved the thought. Our second being a girl actually opened me up to the idea of more kids. Well, now we have to buy a bigger house, might as well fill it with kids! Even though this one was a surprise...we're actually tossing around the idea of a fourth.
@mariabele Thank you! I feel so much less alone knowing it’s not just me. I hope you’re able to figure out a good plan with your psychiatrist!
@alli392 ugh that sounds awful. A lot of family and coworkers have been getting all sorts of illnesses and viruses and I’m terrified of the neverending crap going around! @kyrwyn thank you! And sorry about your neighbor and their comment. People just don’t realize that families can be any mix of boys and girls 🙄 I’m honestly hoping for another girl 🤷🏼♀️ (But feeling like it’s a boy!) @pourmeanothermocktail thank you and I’m sorry! I honestly LOVED being pregnant the first time around. A lot of my food allergies temporarily went away so I could eat what I wanted and my body aches went away.. I was silly and thought it’d be even better this time.. HA. We’d always planned on three but this one is making me think we might be done after 😭. I also have a chronic illness that got worse after the delivery of my first, that is in high gear right now. My LO wants to be carried all the time and I feel so guilty having to tell her I can’t.
Thank you so much for all your responses. I needed this 💞
Woke up to the coldest day so far this winter AND a broken boiler 😱. Really can not afford a new one right now so I pray it’s fixable!!!
Ick, I'm sorry! Our boiler wasn't working a few weeks ago, and it was an easy fix-just the thermo-coupler apparently. Maybe $20 for the part, had our friend not had one to give us. Good luck! Waking up early, using toilet and noticing that the radiator right next to my foot was freezing cold was super unsettling and then scary. Fingers crossed!
eta-posted too early
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
So this morning my amazing 4.5 year old slept till after 730 (which he never ever ever does) and I woke up in a panic because it was light outside and he was not up. Yall I'm so used to an early bird I dont know what I'm going to do if this kid isn't an early riser...I mean I want a kid that sleeps later than DS (mister I believe in the early bird gets the worm deep down in my soul and need to beat the sun up) but I'm afraid it's going to give me an heart attack like I almost had this morning.
@pourmeanothermocktail , @runwmusic thankfully it was an easy fix! We were missing the part you needed to repressurize it but the guy who came to check it out sorted us out and our boiler lives another day! THANK GOD. Having financial hits when you’re saving for maternity leave is not ideal!
@alisongem hey girl !!! Every pregnancy is different, every woman is different. Try your best to stay hydrated. Try pedialyte, it worked for me. The baby may just be a little shy or less active. So you may not feel anything now but soon you will. Trust me everyone else may SEEM like they are fine and have everything together but they probably just are going through anything near what you are or keep things to themselves. Sending love and hugs
Does anyone else have any interest in a freebies/deals thread? My last BMB shared what they got in their welcome/freebie boxes, when good sales were up for Carter's or diapers (examples), how they got on the coupon lists for formula, etc, and I found it really helpful.
Happy Monday. I spent most of last week fighting with my insurance and struggling with a sinus cold. 🤧 FX this week is better! I have an OB check-in tomorrow and I'm excited to hear that heartbeat. The roofers also start on our house tomorrow, and hopefully that goes smoothly.
@ReneeJ2011 My DS1 is an up before the sun kid too. 🥴 He adjusts in the summer so that he can still wake up before sunrise, and seems to immediately adjust to 530am in whatever time zone we visit. If DS2 swings the other way, I think I'll cry my way through the early years. Sleeping in means making it to 6am these days.
My car's brakes went out yesterday right before I went down the sizable hill to get into town after the snow - rain - snow storm the day before. I had enough to make it down the hill safely and get back up it to go home. This is definitely not an expense we need right now. Happy Monday....
@alli392 This week we're doing chili (I make a big batch on Sunday and we reheat & add toppings Mon & Tues), roasted chicken and potatoes with broccoli on Wed, fish taco bowls on Th (shredded cabbage, lightly battered and fried cod, toppings), taco bowls part 2 with leftover chicken on Friday, and take out on Sat.
@alli392 I am not a good cook and racking my brain for things to make is the worst part. I can't just "throw things together from what's in the fridge". This is why I love the app Mealime. You can set dietary preferences (veggie, vegan, pescatarian, eat everything) and they let you choose from a ton of different recipes to create a weekly "meal plan". All the ingredients are then grouped into one grocery list, which I've found super helpful. You can just tick things off the list as you shop. Nearly everything I've made from that app has been superb. It looks like they got an influx of investment or something because they're coming out with new recipes more often than ever these days. The app is free, but you can pay for a premium version if you want. It unlocks more recipes and nutritional info.
I also just signed up for Dinnerly, which is one of those meal services that just ships all the ingredients to your house. It's more affordable than other similar services so I have some doubt about how yummy the recipes will be, but we'll see. I'll be making the first dish today. I did a trial of Blue Apron and loooooved it, but it's just too expensive per serving.
@alli392 As I chow down on lunch, I figured I'd come back and share my current favorite thing to eat for lunch 😂
Thin some hummus with olive oil and lemon juice to taste (probably add a pinch of salt). Use this as dressing for baby spinach + feta + pepitas + (optional) protein of your choice (leftover salmon or hard-boiled eggs both work well).
I've had this 5 says in a row and I'm still not sick of it. We almost always have hummus for DH and DS.
@alli392 I am trying to get better at meal planning. I have all the meals set but don’t really know which day is what meal. That is a huge improvement for me though Tonight is baked tilapia with oven fries. We also have planned: homemade chicken soup(I use the store bought rotisserie chicken) with grilled cheese, tacos, chili, and whole wheat pasta with ground sausage and tomato sauce.
@kyrwyn see I cant plan that far in advance lol. But you gave me some ideas so THANKS!
I am now positive that I am quitting my job once I have my lovebug. If I could get another job that would take me pregnant I would but I have way too many appointments to quit right now.
@lizanet You're welcome! And I usually plan so I cook a few times a week and we just remix things as leftovers the other nights. (See: roast chicken -> chicken taco bowls). It's really just a function of me being supremely lazy.
My cooking has been very limited since I had my first 15 months ago! I don’t know what areas of the US they service, but Schwan’s is a lifesaver for me! It’s a frozen food service with truck delivery, and the food is fantastic...more expensive than cooking from scratch, but cheaper than meal services or eating out!
Hey Moms, Most of us know of the amazon baby box and target welcome bag. Did you know that walmart and buybuy baby also have free goodies? It is completely free and all you have to do is start a registry with them.
Grove Collaborative also has a baby gift set. It is the baby organics brand and comes with 16 oz shampoo and body wash, 20 oz bubble bath, and a pack of 64 wipes. You have to spend $20 and if you spend $25 you get a free glass cleaning set. I like the Mrs.Meyers brand so it is totally worth it for me.
Not sure if any of you have thought of formula but Gerber, Similac, and Enfamil have their own rewards program and when you subscribe they send you freebies.
@lizanet My DS1 was formula fed and the Similac coupons helped a bit. They've got an option to get Amazon coupons or paper coupons, and Costco will take the paper ones (and typically has a better price than Amazon on the formula we used with DS1). If we end up FFing again, we'll definitely go the Costco+coupon route.
@kyrwy did you know the Costco formula and Similac formula are basically the exact same thing? Walmart private labels emphamil. I used the Costco formula with ds and will again once I stop bf this baby. What a $ saver! Also their diapers are amazing and again so much $ saved!
@runwmusic Oh! Thanks! I did not know, and we had so many feeding related troubles with DS1 that I was scared to change anything once he started eating and growing so I also hadn't looked into it. That will save us a ton this time! ❤️
Re: January Randoms
@alisongem never too late to join the party! Glad you found your way here. I couldn’t eat until about 14 weeks too (had no problems my first pregnancy), and then had a glorious week or two before getting a cold/stomach bug/influenza all within a few weeks of each other. It was awful! And the drainage made the nausea linger for forever. My daughter currently has the other kind of influenza so I’m bracing myself for another bout. Being pregnant is no joke already and then getting hit with feeling so sick is just miserable. Hang in there! Once I finally started feeling better from all the nasty bugs (by which I mean, like, two weeks ago) it has gotten easier from a physical standpoint. And don’t worry about movement too much. Check out the January randoms and symptoms discussions-we’ve all felt or not felt things at different times!
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17
EDD: 5/16/18
DD born 5/10/18
Postpartum Complications
BFP: 10/1/19
EDD: 6/12/20
We've also had a pretty extensive discussion this month about not feeling movement yet.
Welcome to the group. I hope your pregnancy gets easier from here. ❤️
I actually loathe being pregnant in all honesty. I'm grateful that my body can get pregnant and carry babies to a safe gestation-but it leaves me in severe pain somewhat disabled to do it. It's worth it, but not at all pleasant for me.
No shame at all in not enjoying it, or having a hard time. And no shame in needing medication to handle anxiety or nausea either. Healthy moms are important too!
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
I suppose people think I'll miss out on some parts of the parenting spectrum by having only boys. 🤷♀️ I figure I'll have two different kids and we'll see what happens.
They're all individuals anyway, trying to assume interests and personality based on their sex parts is weird.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17
EDD: 5/16/18
DD born 5/10/18
Postpartum Complications
BFP: 10/1/19
EDD: 6/12/20
@kyrwyn thank you! And sorry about your neighbor and their comment. People just don’t realize that families can be any mix of boys and girls 🙄 I’m honestly hoping for another girl 🤷🏼♀️ (But feeling like it’s a boy!)
@pourmeanothermocktail thank you and I’m sorry! I honestly LOVED being pregnant the first time around. A lot of my food allergies temporarily went away so I could eat what I wanted and my body aches went away.. I was silly and thought it’d be even better this time.. HA. We’d always planned on three but this one is making me think we might be done after 😭. I also have a chronic illness that got worse after the delivery of my first, that is in high gear right now. My LO wants to be carried all the time and I feel so guilty having to tell her I can’t.
eta-posted too early
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
Every pregnancy is different, every woman is different. Try your best to stay hydrated. Try pedialyte, it worked for me. The baby may just be a little shy or less active. So you may not feel anything now but soon you will. Trust me everyone else may SEEM like they are fine and have everything together but they probably just are going through anything near what you are or keep things to themselves.
Sending love and hugs
Happy Monday. I spent most of last week fighting with my insurance and struggling with a sinus cold. 🤧 FX this week is better! I have an OB check-in tomorrow and I'm excited to hear that heartbeat. The roofers also start on our house tomorrow, and hopefully that goes smoothly.
@ReneeJ2011 My DS1 is an up before the sun kid too. 🥴 He adjusts in the summer so that he can still wake up before sunrise, and seems to immediately adjust to 530am in whatever time zone we visit. If DS2 swings the other way, I think I'll cry my way through the early years. Sleeping in means making it to 6am these days.
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17
EDD: 5/16/18
DD born 5/10/18
Postpartum Complications
BFP: 10/1/19
EDD: 6/12/20
I also just signed up for Dinnerly, which is one of those meal services that just ships all the ingredients to your house. It's more affordable than other similar services so I have some doubt about how yummy the recipes will be, but we'll see. I'll be making the first dish today. I did a trial of Blue Apron and loooooved it, but it's just too expensive per serving.
Thin some hummus with olive oil and lemon juice to taste (probably add a pinch of salt). Use this as dressing for baby spinach + feta + pepitas + (optional) protein of your choice (leftover salmon or hard-boiled eggs both work well).
I've had this 5 says in a row and I'm still not sick of it. We almost always have hummus for DH and DS.
I am now positive that I am quitting my job once I have my lovebug. If I could get another job that would take me pregnant I would but I have way too many appointments to quit right now.
Grove Collaborative also has a baby gift set. It is the baby organics brand and comes with 16 oz shampoo and body wash, 20 oz bubble bath, and a pack of 64 wipes. You have to spend $20 and if you spend $25 you get a free glass cleaning set. I like the Mrs.Meyers brand so it is totally worth it for me.
Not sure if any of you have thought of formula but Gerber, Similac, and Enfamil have their own rewards program and when you subscribe they send you freebies.
every little bit helps right?!?!?! depending on what diapers you use they have a similar rewards program.
TTC#1 - March 2013
BFP 8/9/13 - EDD 4/14/14 - DS born 4/23/14
TTC#2 November 2015
Dx: Secondary IF June 2016
Medicated IUI cycle#1- Clomid+IUI -1/15/17 -BFN
Break Mid 2017 - Resumed TTC December 2018
"She believed she could so she did..."
Medicated IUI cycle#2- Femara 5mg+IUI 12/22/18 - BFP 1/4/19 - MMC 2/1/19
Saline Sono 3/15/19 - All Clear!
Medicated IUI cycle#3- Femara 7.5mg+IUI 3/28/19-BFN
Medicated IUI cycle#4- Femara 5mg+Gonal F 50iu+IUI 4/27/19- BFP 5/11/19 - MMC 6/12/19 - D&C 6/14/19-
Incomplete M/C Repeat D&C - 7/3/19 -Testing concluded baby was genetically normal
Dx: Unexplained RPL July 2019 - Tested + as carrier for Usher Syndrome & Familial Mediterranean Fever
Saline Sono 8/7/19 - Mostly Clear! All systems go for IVF#1
But will need a repeat Saline Sono between ER and FET
IVF #1 - Antagonist Protocol - 8/17/19
ER#1 8/27/19 - 12R, 6F, 4 biopsied+frozen! (3d5blasts + 1d6blast)- 2 PGS normal embabies!
Saline Sono 9/13/19 - All Clear! Onto FET Prep#1
FET#1 - 4AA -10/4/19 - BFP 10/14/19 - EDD - 6/21/20 -Beta#1-10dp5dt- 379 Beta#2-12dp5dt- 1007 Beta#3-14dp5dt- 2844
DD born 6/15/20