Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: QUESTION Thread
@ashorkey Yeah, I'm a little nervous about the spraying too, lol! We'll see how it goes!
I’ll probably keep the Lansinoh at home for at hone pumping where the environment is more conducive and I can use baby stimulus to help. And use the Spectra at work.
Married 1/28/17
TW:
BFP #2 10/10/17, MC 11/4/17
BFP #3 12/17/17 Birth 8/13/18
BFP #4 4/21/19 Birth 12/5/2019
@Peachie89 - We plan on cloth diapering too! I did a ton of research on it (including months before I even got pregnant lol) but no first hand experience as I am a FTM. However, based on what system we want to use, it doesn't make sense to cloth diaper until she is at that 10lb/size 1 stage. We are doing the pocket cloth diapers. Those can be used starting at the 10lb mark. Some newborns are already that big at birth (hopefully not ours!) And others are out of newborn sizes in a month. So it doesn't make sense for us to cloth diaper during the newborn stage. We are going with disposables until she can fit the pocket diapers. We are getting ours from Nora's Nursery. Great reviews, patterns, pricing and free shipping there 😁
Also, unless biodegradable diapers are better for your baby, I don't think they're necessarily worth the extra cost. In the US they'll likely be landfilled, and because it's an anaerobic environment they won't decompose. Scientists have dug up old landfills to learn about trash and human behavior and have found newspapers from 50 years ago that are still legible, hotdogs that are still recognizable, and so on. Without air, even a biodegradable diaper won't decompose. I study trash, so this is a bit of an interest of mine...
I don't often go on Twitter but I logged in this morning to see that earlier this week she announced she has asherman syndrome and will need to travel to Boston to have surgery with a specialist. The syndrome is related to the 3 miscarriages she's has and the d&c required of them. Now I understand more about why she pulled away so much.
Does anyone know about this syndrome? I was thinking I would reach out to offer support but concerned this would just be too upsetting if I did. Thoughts?
if i were you friend, and I have been in similar shoes, I would think it best for you to reach out, but I would do it through text or email to give her a chance to process emotions and respond when she is ready.
When I was pregnant with DS I had a friend dealing with infertility. I met up with her just before she was scheduled for her 2nd round of IVF, and I gave her a card with a heartfelt note. She told me afterwards that she was so touched by my words that she actually brought the card with her to the procedure for good luck. She did conceive that cycle and had a son 6 months after DS was born.
Edited about 6x because words are hard.
DS - 7.5
DD #1 - 6
~ mmc 7.11.2018 @ 9w ~
DD#2 - born 12.24.19
@ashorkey we made it to 2 years nursing on demand and had to stop because my thyroid levels were going crazy. My son never liked the texture of baby food so we did baby led weaning too and we've not had any choking scares either. He actually now at 3 doesn't like "soft" stuff like pudding, applesauce, etc
I will be 19 weeks next week and I have maybe gained 1 pound. I lost 8ish lbs initially and have not gained any back. Nausea is to blame. I'm 208 now. So I started overweight. (Chart says obese) Is it possible to gain little to no weight this pregnancy and baby still be a healthy weight at birth? I have major food adversions and nausea. It's kind of letting up but I still eat very little but as healthy as I can.
One of the reasons women with a healthy weight gain so much more then overweight women is because their bodies are building a fat layer. That is used as a backup to provide nutrients incase they cannot eat for a longer period of time. Overweight women have the "benefit" of already having a fat layer stored up. I've never been so happy to be fat in my life then in the past month because even though I'm not eating every day, I know she is still getting what she needs.
I've been sneezing and a bit snotty throughout this pregnancy, but yesterday I woke up with a sore throat after a night of Post nasal drip and today I am feeling awful.... (Still eating, hydrating, and all that good stuff)
Any strategies for dealing with post nasal drip and sore throats?
I'm also low key worried I have a cold but I can't tell the difference right now.
@CapricaAndrea - if I recall this is something you've been dealing with too? How are you coping these days?
Married 1/28/17
TW:
BFP #2 10/10/17, MC 11/4/17
BFP #3 12/17/17 Birth 8/13/18
BFP #4 4/21/19 Birth 12/5/2019
*Edit words are hard
@bookworm492 *TW* One of my friend's was diagnosed with asherman's about a year ago. She already has a 5 year old who was an "oops" baby, but has been trying again since then. They did IVF, IUI, and even with genetic testing to find a "perfect" embryo, she miscarried last Christmas day. HOWEVER, she had given up completely after that, to the point that they took a trip to an area known for Zika, and on the plane ride home she was throwing up. Her husband said she should take a pregnancy test to which she responded "f*ck you!" and it turns out she's due around Halloween! So it is possible!
@Peachie89 yup, still having some morning sickness here too.
@babynumbero3 I lost some weight 1st trimester with my first pregnancy and the midwife wasn't at all concerned. With morning sickness and food aversions it's relatively common. I've also read that for women starting out overweight it can actually be healthy to lose weight over the course of the pregnancy if it's for the right reasons, like changes in diet leading to a reduction in sugars etc and healthier eating overall. But definitely talk to your midwife/OB at your next appointment.
@CapricaAndrea - thanks for the tips, I'm in a hotel this week and will see if they can put a humidifier in my room and hopefully that will help
This is actually my first post and I have a question.. I'm 21 weeks pregnant and about 2 weeks ago I've come down with sore throat, nasal congestion, and a bad cough. As it didn't get any better, I went to PCP -- test showed a bacterial infection. Now I got prescription for antibiotics.. has anyone taken amoxicillin during pregnancy?