The Great Question Thread

leksiL · June 2019

@um_thor My feeling about the RHR is not to track it our your temps. You are causing yourself way too much stress. Same goes for googling anything. There a bunch of crazy nonsense stories out there especially on places like babycenter.

kiwi2628 · June 2019

leksiL said:

@um_thor My feeling about the RHR is not to track it our your temps. You are causing yourself way too much stress. Same goes for googling anything. There a bunch of crazy nonsense stories out there especially on places like babycenter.

Don't ever diss that place. That is my bread and butter for entertainment when work is slow. Its AMAZING. If you are ever bored, go down the rabbit hole of the 'marriage and relationships' board. WOOF.

um_thor · June 2019

@kbrown2385 @leksiL thanks for your insights. It probably would do me good to just not track... I liked that it was reassuring me when the numbers were doing what I expected, but if it becomes a new stressor, who needs that. Two more weeks til the first appointment... soooo far away!

brookert615 · June 2019

@kiwi2628 Bahahah BC is quite the read! But we’ve had some gems drive-by on the bump that will never be forgotten lol.

kiwi2628 · June 2019

brookert615 said:

@kiwi2628 Bahahah BC is quite the read! But we’ve had some gems drive-by on the bump that will never be forgotten lol.

Oh I know. There are some amazing classics. I was on TTGP from June 2016 until Feb 2018, and since then I have lurked quite a bit, mostly in the IF thread, to root for people I 'know', so I have seen some greats.

agesandstages · June 2019

Thanks so much @clearlyclara @daffodil_shoe @craftywitch and @leksiL!! Sounds like I should look in the 2nd tri!

Also @um_thor I have an Ava and decided to stop wearing it after the BFP, because it was stressing me out! I still love the app though for tracking things like water intake and exercise, and while little, I also really appreciate how it shows you data about the week you’re currently IN as opposed to the week you just experienced!

alseltzer · June 2019

Couple random questions....

-- is there any special sunscreen that any of you use? There's just so many harsh things in most of them I'm not sure if they're safe per say. I work as a mail carrier so I really should be using sunscreen every day, especially on my one arm that's always out the window. It's usually about 3 times darker than the rest of my body in the summer, lol

--also have you guys switched to any super comfy bras?? I saw the one that was posted, but kinda thinking I may look into maybe a zippered in front sports bra type? I can't be stretching and squeezing a regular sports bra on and off every day, its exhausting sometimes. Figured I'd see if anyone had any more recommendations, I'd trust your guys opinions most

DDRRT1982 · June 2019

I use Alba sunscreen on myself and my kids.

Are you guys stopping Vitamin A use topically? I use Mad Hippie Vitamin A, but am wondering if even topically that should be avoided?

brookert615 · June 2019

@alseltzer Check out Pure Haven for all natural sun care! I posted a link in the randoms but Victoria’s Secret has Heavenly bralette with thick straps that’s AMAZING! I bought three last week because I don’t fit into any of my bras and everything felt so uncomfortable. The fabric is great. TMI my nipples were hurting rubbing on t-shirts and this fabric they don’t hurt when rubbing lol

Edit: I can’t spell lol

craftywitch · June 2019

@alseltzer Raw Elements is my favorite "natural" sunscreen- zinc oxide, reef safe, non nano- that RUBS IN! It's technically a physical sun block, but I swear it doesn't leave those terrible white streaks and melt off a white, runny mess.

alseltzer · June 2019

Awesome, thanks ladies! I'll look into those now. I see VS has their sale going on. Maybe I'll get a few different types to try out. I may only buy one or two since I don't know how fast they're going to grow.

brookert615 · June 2019

@alseltzer This is what I got! Just a wind of caution I did get the v neck ones too and the straps were thinner and cut a bit with the boob weight lol. Plus I fell out a bit 🥴. But the ones below are GREAT! 10/10 lol

https://www.victoriassecret.com/vs/sale/clearance-bras/victoria-s-secret-heavenly-bralette-7045186e-9e5c-4577-912d-e73ac4076098?stackId=99a29fc6-de1d-413a-93ff-82bdedcf8f7a&filter=subclass%3ABralettes

Edit: Ugh nvm looks like they’re only down to XS and S now 😭

alseltzer · June 2019

@brookert615 they look SUPER comfy, are they padded enough that my nips aren't going to be saying hello to the world? Cause if so I'm in. Also if not I can probably just switch out the pads if need be. I have a couple sports bras that I like the pads in now, but they're getting a bit tight.

alseltzer · June 2019

oh no! I'm starting off at the last possible size that fits into a small, lol. oh well, maybe I can find some in store and get lucky.

brookert615 · June 2019

@alseltzer my nips have been fine, more like can’t really see them if I’m wearing a lightweight shirt with the pads lol.

brookert615 · June 2019

Yeah they sold out fast hahah. Also these leggings have been my best friend and staple hahah

https://www.victoriassecret.com/victoria-sport/apparel-catalog/victoria-sport-anytime-cotton-high-rise-legging-136436fc-587e-4ee8-8c41-df33d66331b8?genericId=11113519&choice=2ZUO&size1=L&gclid=Cj0KCQjwi43oBRDBARIsAExSRQERaiuQWcKlISfHmuoQXQmA1eHuOLryAdLOlUcC7Z8rVN5YD6KSQU0aAngfEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

clearlyclara · June 2019

@alseltzer last pregnancy I just jumped to a nursing bra, figuring I would use it afterwards too with the baby and it proved to be long wearing! I haven't gotten out of nursing bras and gone back to regular ones yet, lol.

jessieR358 · June 2019

@DDRRT1982 yes, stop vitamin A topically.
I just came back from the beach and used all the “reef safe” sunscreen and all 3 brands were awful!! No Ad, aveeno, and neutrogena. It made my skin soooooo dry and I swear it’s still on my skin after 15 showers. My son broke out in a horrible rash, so...since there are no reefs in our pool, I’ll be going back to the other sunscreen.

brookert615 · June 2019

Anyone in management? I'm trying to figure out how I will break the news to my teams but not sure if one-on-one or as a group would be best? I'm waiting until after the 12 weeks but I'm already getting anxiety thinking about it lol.

ibabyloveb87 · June 2019

@brookert615 I am not in management.....but with DS, I told my direct manager first and then told the whole office together by bringing in donuts the next day. It was a big hit (and easy) and I’m thinking about doing the same thing again.

brookert615 · June 2019

@ibabyloveb87 Oh that's a good idea! I planned to tell the CEO and then HR and I kept going back and forth of what to do. I think the donuts and telling them together is a wonderful idea. Thank you so much!!!

creamcheeseplease · June 2019

*lurking from November* @brookert615 I was in management my last pregnancy and I told HR/my boss first, and then about a week later told my team at the end of a team meeting. I didn't bring donuts but I probably should have, haha. I just awkwardly stuck it in at the end of the other items we were discussing, like, "oh and one last thing.. I'm expecting." haha.

brookert615 · June 2019

@creamcheeseplease Hahah! Piggy backing it on a meeting is a wonderful idea, thanks!!!

um_thor · June 2019

@ibabyloveb87 Great idea! @brookert615 you’re ahead of me I’m thinking about this. Right now I’m mostly just like “How do I focus at work and not just think about being tired, or growing a baby, etc.?”

brookert615 · June 2019

@um_thor I'm definitely kind of in the same boat but I'm such a planner lol. Trying to hide my MS and feeling like a gremlin is quite tough LOL.

noxacanthus · June 2019

I am (sort of) in management. My direct boss knows, as well as the overall boss, because there's a policy that they must be notified in writing upon doctor's confirmation of pregnancy. Several coworkers know because they know I was going through IVF. I haven't told my teams yet, and honestly, I just kind of figured I would let people know as it came up or if it became obvious enough that they asked. I haven't had any obvious symptoms, so it's not interrupting my ability to do work yet.

brookert615 · June 2019

@noxacanthus That’s crazy you had to let them know right away!

um_thor · June 2019

Anyone had spotting? Just had a little bit tonight. Google says that it occurs in 15-20% of healthy pregnancies. Not a super high rate... I’m super worried.

brookert615 · June 2019

@um_thor I have heard it is normal but I would definitely get a hold of your doctor. Sending all the positivity your way, girl! ❤️

craftywitch · June 2019

@um_thor I had spotting when I was pregnant with DS. I called the MW and they basically told me it was normal and what they’d consider the threshold for not normal. It’s nice just to have someone monitoring you making sure you’re all good. I’d call for peace of mind.

noxacanthus · June 2019

@brookert615 I believe it has to do with health insurance and ensuring that work supports doctors visits and anything else you need.

brookert615 · June 2019

@noxacanthus I can understand that as long as it’s for the employee!

DDRRT1982 · June 2019

@um_thor I would spot after sex in previous pregnancies. Not to ask too many questions, but the cervix is very sensitive and can cause spotting if irritated. I hope all is ok. I would definitely mention it to your doctor.

leksiL · June 2019

@um_thor I also spotted a good # bright red blood with my daughter and it was so scary, the doctor office was not helpful they were like call back if you soak through a pad. I was weeping in the work bathroom thinking I lost my baby and it all turned out fine. I think it was just due to sex like @DDRRT1982 mentioned. Hoping it goes away for you.

um_thor · June 2019

Thanks, ladies! So helpful to have this sounding board. My husband is amazing, but we process worry so differently that his staying positive makes me feel alone in my nerve-wracked state of worry. Appreciate your insights and encouragement.

NYTino24 · June 2019

@um_thor It didn’t end well for me during my
first pregnancy and I’ve had a tiny bit of light brown spotting a few times this time, but I know I have low progesterone and that could have been the cause when I first started it. I also had a biopsy a few days before my BFP and the doc said it could cause spotting. I’ll know more at my first appointment in a week. I know you had considered asking your doc office for some testing. What did they say?

therealbitts · June 2019

@um_thor I also had spotting with DS2 and DS3 pregnancies. It’s super scary, but can be very normal. All ended up fine. Sorry you’re dealing with that.

elmann1 · June 2019

Speaking of management roles, yesterday, I was offered a job I interviewed for two weeks ago, before I knew I was pregnant. Since I wont qualify for maternity leave or FMLA if I were to start in August, I negotiated the salary with HR. I used this as leverage because, truth be told, I'd hate to leave my current job, that's totally boring but has fantastic maternity leave, for a new exciting cool job with no leave and a small pay bump. She said she'd get back to me once she approved it with the department. It bums me out that women have to go through this with their career once they're pregnant. My husband was also offered a new super cool job, and I can't lie, I'm kind of jellybean that he can just take it with no strings attached (they included paternity leave for the partner after just two months). Has anyone taken a hit to their career once they found out they were pregnant? Or gave after they gave birth? I'm up to my eyeballs in student loans, so staying home unfortunately wasn't an option for our family.
Over the last couple of years I've taken several hits to my career and some days it makes me really sad. Although, I far more desire a baby over a new job, it's just a bummer that its so hard to have both.

tmk2021 · June 2019

@elmann1 I’m kind of taking a hit to my career right now too. I’ve been struggling the past few months since leaving a job I loved in December. I left due to really poor management and some serious anxiety issues that sprouted because of it. Anyways, I’ve been in a new job ever since and I just hate it. Im literally trying to figure out my purpose to this company with little to no direction from management. I feel like I’m wandering aimlessly.

I was in the process of looking for a new job when I found out I was pregnant. Needless to say, I feel stuck in my position now because I don’t think I’ll find something new before it becomes obvious I’m pregnant. And my current job doesn’t offer any maternity benefits OR paid time off.

The depression has has hit me hard over the past couple of weeks because of this. It’s sad that, as women, we have to fight and struggle for healthy careers and families. We just want to be happy professionally and personally.

beforeyou · June 2019

@um_thor You've had a lot of good responses, but wanted to add mine too! With my first I had a lot of spotting early on in the pregnancy and I was freaking out as well. I had mostly brown but occasionally a little pink spotting and it lasted for a couple weeks. My Dr. wasn't worried and everything ended up perfectly fine. However, it gave me peace of mind to call and go in for blood work. I'd call if you are worried and see what they say! FX it's just a normal part of pregnancy for you.

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