The Great Question Thread - Page 5 — The Bump
February 2020 Moms

The Great Question Thread

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Re: The Great Question Thread

  • @brookert615 glad I’m not the only one and glad to hear that your nurse said that! 
    @ibabyloveb87 and @daffodil_shoe thank you for the encouragement, I feel so much better <3
    daffodil_shoebrookert615
  • @lanie1000, @daffodil_shoe, @alseltzer Thank you for your comments! I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

    Good luck on your twins, @alseltzer! I'll let you know in a month if I'll be twinning alongside you.  :)
    brookert615alseltzerlanie1000
  • Loading the player...
  • I gained fast with my MC and pregnancy with my son. I didn’t gain anything in the second trimester and then it piled more on in the third. 
    It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*

    Me: 36 DH 35 
    TTC  9/2016     BFP 12/9/16    EDD 8/21/17    NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
    TTC  2/2017  BFP 3/6/17   EDD 11/17/17   DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
    TTC 12/2018   BFP 6/2/19   EDD 2/12/20  NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
    TTC 7/2019   BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
    TTC 8/19    IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone  BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
    IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20

    AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
    Swiftlet
  • @NYTino24 it’s good to know that everyone gains differently. I’ll mention it at my first US and make sure they’re OK with it. I know rationally I didn’t gain 3lbs of fat but it’s still a shocker to see the number in the scale climbing so quickly!
    NYTino24brookert615elmann1
  • So, I found out I'm pregnant about two weeks ago. About two weeks before that, a dear friend asked me to be the matron of honor in her wedding. I'm stoked and truly honored! But...bride is asking us to go ahead and send our measurements to the dress shop now. I think I'm going to try to stall as long as I can--I'm not sure we're ready to share our news beyond our parents yet. We haven't even told our siblings yet. But. If stalling stops working, anyone have any suggestions for how to handle this? If this pregnancy sticks, I'll be starting Week 24/5.5 months pregnant for the wedding. The dress she picked is GORGEOUS, and it's a high waist, but not an empire waist.
    First baby due February 21, 2019
    Located in Columbia, SC
    craftywitchNYTino24
  • Also, paranoid stupid question when all of the pregnancy books seem to say caffeine under 200 mg/day is a-ok, BUT, do most people here still drink caffeinated beverages while pregnant? I've gone back and forth between like oh, one latte is fine, and then swearing it off for days at a time. It's really okay to keep having my latte right?
    First baby due February 21, 2019
    Located in Columbia, SC
    craftywitchelmann1
  • @babylawyer my friend's sister who is a Dr had a coffee a day for her pregnancies! I think the only thing to look out for is the size of your one coffee... Our sizes have gotten so big that a cup of coffee can have more than 200 mg of caffeine.

    Question for everyone (especially nurses) : when are you going to tell work? I'm inclined to tell them sooner rather than later because I need to make sure to get appropriate pt assignments... I'm 7.5 weeks, we had a good ultrasound recently, so I'm inclined to tell work this week. It's that too early you guys think? 
  • @clearlyclara I’m not a nurse, but I’m a Surg Tech working in L&D. I told my manager on Friday, and I was only 6 weeks. My reasoning was that I’m nauseated, often out of breath, and constantly exhausted right now, so I didn’t want her thinking I was just being lazy if she saw me sitting around! She was very happy for me.
    craftywitchelmann1
  • @clearlyclara I’m telling my boss around 8 weeks so plans can be made accordingly for busy season next year, but I won’t tell everyone else til probably after the NT scan. 
    Me:33
    DH: 34
    Married: May 2011
    TTC #1: May 2015
    DS: 10/20/2016
    TTC #2: June 2019
    #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
  • @babylawyer with each of my pregnancies my doctor has told me the one cup of coffee I drink each day is perfectly fine. When I’ve tried to cut it out I just end up miserable so she said for me personally it’s better to just keep drinking that one cup a day. 
    babylawyer
  • Thanks @clearlyclara and @char245! I appreciate it.

    Anyone have thoughts on the bridesmaid dress issue?^

    Grateful to everyone for your answers!
    First baby due February 21, 2019
    Located in Columbia, SC
    char245
  • @ibabyloveb87 I’m just trying to take it one day at a time. Sometimes I have to rest and I just tell my boys that they need to give mommy a break. I’m not shy about having them play on their iPads sometimes so I can rest. The harder part is managing my 11 month old. He’s really active right now and into EVERYTHING. Sometimes resting isn’t a luxury I have these days. 
  • @therealbitts yeah the 2.5 year old will only entertain himself so much. Thank goodness my mom is here right now to help. She was a godsend yesterday!! 
    Me:33
    DH: 34
    Married: May 2011
    TTC #1: May 2015
    DS: 10/20/2016
    TTC #2: June 2019
    #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
    therealbitts
  • @babylawyer That 1 latte is totally approved! Like others have said, just watch portion sizes. 1 cup is 8oz and a Starbucks tall is 12oz (they do make "short" drinks which are 8oz on request). A tall latte should contain just 1 shot of espresso though with the rest being milk/foam so you should be good there.

    @clearlyclara I told work already. I told a few people at 4 weeks because they noticed my barfing, but it's an open office so I've gone ahead and told everyone in my department and put the 6 week U/S photo out on my desk. I told everyone it's early and we can't be sure it'll survive yet, and warned them we will have awkward exchanges in the future if it doesn't. Honestly I don't mind hearing "it wasn't meant to be" or "you can always try again" because that's what I would be telling myself/ doing anyway. I think it depends how much is TMI in your book- I'm a huge extrovert. 
    elmann1NYTino24jessieR358
  • @babylawyer I’m a HUGE
    diet Pepsi addict. Like multiple cans a day or large sodas from the drive thru. Not good for me on many levels but I don’t drink coffee or alcohol, smoke, etc so figure it could be my one vice. Once I found out I was pregnant though I cut back to one caffeinated can per day and then had caffeine free for any others I would want. I’m making a conscious effort to drink more water too. It’s been smooth sailing so far!
    babylawyer
  • @clearlyclara I am with @craftywitch. I told my whole job the moment that pink line showed but a) I am super open b) I wouldn’t have issues discussing a miscarriage if one happened and c) I work with things that aren’t safe for pregnant women (xrays, surgical things etc) that I basically had to in order to keep Fergus the Fetus safe. 
    craftywitchjessieR358
  • All those career questions are hot button topics for me.  I was unhappy with my job for some time and the thought of having a child is expensive, like cannot afford to pay the medical bills with my current salary and lackluster insurance expensive.  While TTC I thought, it's ok, I will be pregnant soon and then I can quit my job when I have a baby and start fresh somewhere new when I'm ready to return to work.  Well that didn't work out as planned and I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility, so everything was taking a long time and I was stuck in this job I didn't want to be in for a long time, and the medical bills related to fertility testing and treatment were not covered at all by insurance so our savings was shrinking.  So then I started seriously looking for a new job and got excited about the prospect of something new and had decided I cannot put this on hold any longer while trying to have a baby because who knows how long that will take.  And now I am pregnant, so now I've stopped looking and like you other women, feel completely trapped in a job I don't want because it's not a good time to find a new job and changing insurance right now would be bad and I have PTO saved up etc. etc.  So yeah, had to chime in and vent, I get the whole being trapped in a job thing and having to put a career on hold thing.  How long are you ladies planning on staying home after the baby is born?  I know at least in the US maternity leave policies are pretty bleak looking.  Also daycare here is ridiculously expensive with a really long wait list.  My co-worker got on a wait list BEFORE she was even pregnant and her daughter was accepted to daycare when she was almost ONE!  What will you do with your baby once you return to work?  Can you even continue to breast feed when you return to work?  Is that even an option?  It's all so complicated to think of juggling a career and a baby!
    With my first, I worked full time until I gave birth. I had 12 weeks FMLA but I only took 8 weeks maternity leave (huge regret). I went back to work full-time for about 6 months and eventually found a part time (M-TH, 8-3pm) job. Did that for 2 and a half years while my mom watched my daughter M-TH and I was home with her Fridays. At 2.5, we put my daughter in daycare, which was the greatest thing ever because she loves it, has learned so much and I'm back at work full time for the last year. Daycare is STUPID EXPENSIVE. My entire paycheck goes to it. I literally only work full-time to pay my student loans and daycare. But it's so worth it. I breastfed for 12 months, I pumped three times a day at work, 9am, 12pm and 3pm. Got out at 5pm and nursed her at home. It was really challenging but with a routine, it was easier. My job was super supportive with my nursing. Each session was 20 minutes away from my desk and they were fine with it. But I told my bosses super early on that I'd be doing it.

    With my current situation, I was just offered the job I applied for about two months ago! I told them I'm pregnant and they were totally supportive of it! I'm currently negotiating salary since I wont get the maternity leave I have at my current job and still waiting on approval. If they don't approve, I"ll stay at this job and do the same thing I did before. I'll have to pay for two day cares though which is pretty much a full-time salary which means my husband has been looking for a higher paying jobs. It's been stressful but I have to work due to my student loans. It's been great but definitely a challenge. My fellow working moms get me through the days! 
    craftywitchNYTino24
  • Thx everyone for your input! I think I'll tell work this week to keep baby safe. 
    craftywitchbrookert615
  • @elmann1 It was probably nice to establish a routine again after pregnancy and after being home with an infant.  I wonder if once I am home for awhile I will want to go back to work part time or if I will be happy at home.  It's hard to say as life will be completely different.  Besides paying for daycare there's stupid expensive medical insurance to pay for too!  Do any of you that are already stay at home moms miss working?
    elmann1
  • @pirateduck, I don't stay at home exactly but I'm a teacher so I spend all summer and all my school vacations with DD because her daycare closes.  Being a SAHM for even part of the year is the hardest thing ever for me.  I stayed home with her from when she was born in June until November and I didn't love it. I am an elementary school teacher and love kids but I love having a job to go to and then coming home to my family.  I honestly couldn't SAH forever.  Kuddos to people who can but make sure you are true to yourself when you make your decision.  
    daffodil_shoeNYTino24Knottie61514853
  • I miss working all the time, yes. I've been a sahm for almost 8 years. I am grateful for all the time with my boys when they were little, and now being able to volunteer at the school, but it's hard work and can get lonely. Hardest dang job I've ever had!!
     I recently got my real estate license, before this special surprise, but I do plan on working with this little one, whenever it feels right. 
    elmann1
  • @jennv0701 Yes, this, "whenever it feels right."  I think I am going to quit my current job.  Stay home as long as I am comfortable (emotionally, financially, physical recovery after labor, etc.) and then start fresh with a new job that will fit with whatever I think I need at that time, in terms of career goals, finances, and scheduling/hours.  
    craftywitch
  • @jvk2012 I am an elementary school teacher too. I always thought I would want to SAH but now I'm not so sure. Being a teacher and the time with them during the summer and on holidays is definitely a perk. The class I'm getting this year has so many siblings in it and I can't wait to have them! Being due in February, I'm not sure what maternity leave puts me back at as far as the end of the school year.
    jvk2012
  • @burr1371, In my district we can use up to 6-8 weeks of sick days (depending on what OB writes us out for) to get paid, then whatever the difference up to 12 weeks unpaid under FMLA or we can take off the remainder of the school year unpaid.  I will probably be taking the remainder of the year unpaid after my sick days because I won't have daycare set up for this one until school starts again the following September.  So I'll be home whenever this one is born until end of August.
    burr1371
  • @jvk2012 That sounds good! I am waiting to hear back from the HR lady to give me the specifics for my district. Thanks for the info on how your district does it :)
    jvk2012
  • @pirateduck Definitely! A routine was everything for us. For the first month of maternity leave, I was relieved to not be at work and binge Gilmore Girls. Sleepless nights and drippy boobs were brand new and I was so scattered. I dreaded leaving my daughter for the first time, and I cried a lot at work for the first couple of weeks, but I LOVED getting a hot cup of coffee, breakfast, sitting at my desk and just having solo-mom-time throughout the day.  It gave me time to process everything and then run back home to my baby. I felt human again. I loved chatting with my coworkers who distracted me from scary new mom stuff. I also loved my paycheck, I bought baby soooo much stuff. It's helped me maintain my identity and not totally lose myself. That and I got a massive tattoo to establish that I'm still me and not just a mom lol. I can't wait to go through it all again! Pregnancy Amnesia is REAL. 
    jennv0701DDRRT1982
  • Has anyone had any bleeding after intercourse? It wasn't like gushing blood, just mostly when I wiped. I don't remember this with my first. I emailed my Dr. to let her know, but everything I've read says it's mostly normal. GAH first trimester fears are the worst...
    um_thorDDRRT1982
  • Favorite panty liners??
  • @pirateduck I just buy generic. 

  • I'm up in the air about the job thing. I don't want to stay at home until it's time to send the kids to college, but I think I would like to until it's time for them to go to kindergarten. That'll be a Christmastime decision, I think. I'm conflicted because I adore my colleagues, and I generally like my work, but it's also very stressful all the time. 
    First baby due February 21, 2019
    Located in Columbia, SC
  • @elmann1 I’m not sure if it was related or not... but I had light spotting when I wiped in the evening after early morning intercourse. My doc said not to worry unless it’s bright red, and it’s common.
    elmann1DDRRT1982
  • At least right now, I’m planning to return to work. Not sure if I will cut back my hours a bit or what. Probably will see how I feel once I get back and go from there. I don’t see myself as a SAHM but I fully acknowledge that back to full time may not be what I want either!
    brookert615
  • um_thor said:
    @elmann1 I’m not sure if it was related or not... but I had light spotting when I wiped in the evening after early morning intercourse. My doc said not to worry unless it’s bright red, and it’s common.
    That makes me feel better. It makes sense since it's super sensitive in there right now, it was just so surprising!
    brookert615
  • @clearlyclara I’ll tell my boss right before I go back to work in September. I gain fast and show early. I don’t want a nightmare class either, so hopefully my leave will be factored in. 
    @pirateduck Carefree
    @jvk2012 I’ll be a repeat csection and can take a max of 8 weeks paid plus 8 more weeks paid by state disability. I also have private STDI, so I’ll be unpaid for about two weeks before summer.
    @babylawyer I was in between pregnancies (MC and my son) when I ordered a bridesmaid dress. I was 18 weeks pregnant and it was pretty obvious. I think I went up a size. By 25 weeks, people were definitely commenting like I was going to deliver soon. Everyone is different though, so I’d ask the dress shop their policy and ask them to be quiet about it. 
    It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*

    Me: 36 DH 35 
    TTC  9/2016     BFP 12/9/16    EDD 8/21/17    NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
    TTC  2/2017  BFP 3/6/17   EDD 11/17/17   DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
    TTC 12/2018   BFP 6/2/19   EDD 2/12/20  NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
    TTC 7/2019   BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
    TTC 8/19    IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone  BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
    IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20

    AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
    brookert615babylawyer
  • @elmann1 when I had bleeding after sex it, it ended in miscarriage. Sex didn’t cause it, it just released the blood.

    On the other hand, you most likely just irritated your cervix. Just keep an eye on it. Maybe consider pelvic rest until your first ultrasound.
    brookert615
  • @daffodil_shoe I just got back from my obgyn because of it. She asked that I come in asap. They did an ultrasound but couldn't see much because I'm so early. They did a blood test and I have to go back on Friday for another ultrasound and another blood test to rule out miscarriage. How much blood did you have after sex?

    daffodil_shoeNYTino24
  • @elmann1I don’t really remember, it was 5 years ago. I just remember DH seeing blood on him, and I spotted the rest of the day. The next day I started bleeding like a period.
    elmann1
  • @daffodil_shoe Ahh I see. I'm definitely going to monitor it. No period yet but just brown spots. It's kind of crazy how much we worry for our babies from the moment they're chia seeds.

    daffodil_shoe
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