The Great Question Thread - Page 6 — The Bump
February 2020 Moms

The Great Question Thread

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Re: The Great Question Thread

  • So here is a question I have not seen yet, if anyone is comfortable answering it. Is anyone else 225+ lbs and concerned about gaining even more weight? I will be honest, I am at 255 lbs, and have only gained 3lbs for the 8 weeks I am. With both my other children I started around 220, and was right at 260 at 37/39 weeks. I was on Nexplanon for 2 years, depo-provera for 2 years before that, and the pill for 2 years before that. The lowest I have been in the last 6 year's was 200. And I think all the hormonal bc has caused an increase in appetite resulting in weight gain.

    Anyways, I got the nexplanon removed April 22, Lmp April 27, and turned a positive test 10 days after missed period. Morning sickness just set in today. I had hoped to lose some weight before getting pregnant but it happened so easily. I'm usually comfortable about my weight but all i can think is that i dont want to gain anything more. Although I know that's not a reasonable expectation.
  • @robynlynn2000 I am at my heaviest weight ever currently. :(  I am 205 and am only 5'3". I definitely wanted to lose weight before this baby, but it just didn't happen like I had wanted. I started my previous pregnancy at 175 and only gained 24lbs. So I am praying that the same will happen this time around as well. I am nervous for my first appointment and whether or not the midwife I am seeing will say anything regarding my weight. But I am just trying to not focus too much on my weight right now. I am eating fairly healthy (when I have the appetite) but I just can not let myself stress over what I see on the scale as long as I do not gain excessively.  This is my last pregnancy and I will have the rest of my life to get the weight off. I am also really hoping I only gain the 24lbs like my last one! So fingers crossed! 
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  • I’m about 236 I had already lost 128 lbs prior to becoming pregnant, last week I popped up to 240 and decided not to weigh anymore...til today lol I’m just trying to stick to healthier choices when I can but I’m not depriving myself just because I’m worried about gaining weight back. Healthy baby is what I’m focusing on and maintaining my exercise routine 
    Swiftletlanie1000
  • Good for you losing so much. I had hoped to be closer to 200 or at least down to 220. But like I said I got pregnant really quick. I think im going to do some serious Keto after the baby is born and I go back to work. I did Ketoonce for 3 months and i was strictly below 25 carbs and around 1500-1800 calories a day and I lost 40 pounds. Then after the holidays I fell off the wagon and gave up.
  • What books are you all reading and loving? I had so many issues with the condescending and opinionated advice in pregnancy books the last time around that I didn’t finish a single one. I think I’m finding my style more this time (just started “Like A Mother” and liking it so far). Anyone have any recommendations off the beaten path with regards to pregnancy?
    brookert615
  • @daffodil_shoe Oh I LOVED Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and her Midwife's Manifesto. I wish she'd write something about pregnancy stages honestly, but I imagine it'd go something like "continue living your regular life, your body knows what it's doing and no one knows what your body needs at this time more than you."

    There have to be more books written by women for women that are about the wholistic experience of pregnancy- both emotional and physical- that are less prescriptive and infantilizing than what's out there now.

    daffodil_shoechipsnsalsa20DDRRT1982doodleoodle
  • So how big a deal is sleeping on your back?  I seriously cannot figure out how to get a good night's sleep any other way!  Surely sleeping is better for you than not sleeping, even if it's on your back!?!?  I'm exhausted and at a loss here.
  • @pirateduck I believe (check with your doctor on this) that sleeping on your back in the beginning is fine. The issue is when the baby gets bigger and can push on certain blood vessels or arteries. At that point it is safest to sleep on your left side to avoid that and get adequate blood supply to your baby. Again, I’m not positive on this but that is what I remember when I had my daughter. 
    brookert615mb228doodleoodlejessieR358
  • @pirateduck I don’t think sleeping on your back (or your stomach) is an issue in the first trimester. Unless you’re trying to train yourself to be ready for later in pregnancy, I wouldn’t worry about it now. With this fatigue, I’m sleeping anyway I can!! 
    brookert615mb228
  • @char245 & @lanie1000

    I think you are right in that it is a bigger concern later on, but I do feel I need to learn to sleep in a different position.  How do you undo years of sleeping on your back!?!?  One more thing to ask the doctor about.  I need to start writing this stuff down.
    brookert615char245
  • @pirateduck, like others have said it’s not a problem until later in pregnancy. I am a stomach sleeper and did until it wasn’t comfortable with my 1st pregnancy. Pregnancy pillows will be your friend as you get bigger! They help you comfortably sleep on your side. You’ll figure it out.
    doodleoodle
  • leksiLleksiL member
    @pirateduck yes pregnancy pillows are the best and trained me so well to sleep on my left side that I still do! I just broke out my Snoogle and had a very good night sleep last night. I think it's the first time my alarm woke me up since i found out I was pregnant!
    Me: 38, DH: 36 
    Married Jan 2008 
    DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18" <3 so in love <3
    Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020


    pirateducklanie1000brookert615
  • @chipsnsalsa20

    I like to think our bodies know what's up.  Women have been having babies forever without doctors telling them what position to sleep in!  I just have extra issues because I have a bulging disk/pinched nerves in my neck, so yeah, I sleep the way I sleep now for a reason, and being pregnant, painkillers are a no-no.
    chipsnsalsa20
  • @pirateduck One issue I've been having sleeping on my side recently is my suddenly very heavy boobs pulling to one side and causing pain. But I found if I shove a pillow between them, it's waaay more comfortable to sleep on my side. It can also help to make sure your head pillow is fluffy enough to support your neck sideways (I've found you need a fluffier pillow for side sleeping than back sleeping) and to put a pillow between your legs if those are bothering you. I hope you find something that works for you by the time you need it!
    pirateduckchipsnsalsa20noxacanthus
  • @pirateduck Ouch! That doesn’t sound fun! I’ve been dealing with back pain on and off since having my first LO and once symptoms started showing up for this LO it’s been an intense on. Thankfully I’ve been able to find a few positions sleeping on my sides or stomach so I’m trying to enjoy my variety while I can lol!
  • @pirateduck another vote for a pregnancy pillow. I’m already ready to pull mine out of storage just because it’s so comfy! 
    Me:33
    DH: 34
    Married: May 2011
    TTC #1: May 2015
    DS: 10/20/2016
    TTC #2: June 2019
    #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
  • Question : has anyone had any experience with the fetal doppler you can buy to listen to baby's heartbeat at home? I'm on the fence about getting one. 
    NYTino24
  • leksiLleksiL member
    I agree with @daffodil_shoe ! They sound great until you can’t find the HB and freak out
    Me: 38, DH: 36 
    Married Jan 2008 
    DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18" <3 so in love <3
    Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020


    daffodil_shoe
  • I don't, but will be getting one after my 2nd OB visit since I will be doing virtual appts. Fingers crossed I can practice finding the heartbeat easily.
  • I’m just catching up on this thread, with having joined so much later than some of you it’s taken awhile. I saw you guys were discussing pregnancy books and just wanted to put out a PSA for anyone who is anxiety prone: stay far away from all things Dr. Sears. He definitely contributed to my PPD and anxiety after my first. 
    Swiftletcraftywitchbrookert615
  • @clearlyclara I’m a doppler owner and user! I think you have to be anxiety-free and risk tolerant to enjoy one though. There are times you can’t find the heartbeat and just have to know it’s because it’s a crappy internet doppler being operated by a non-medical lay person. Also our ultrasound tech at the 20 week had an interesting bedside manner and straight up told us it’s stupid and dangerous to use a doppler purchased on Amazon at all. The midwife rolled her eyes at that, but we were warned! (I’ll probably get my doppler out around 12 weeks so DS can hear the heartbeat this time.)
  • If you google about the fetal Doppler as well, they say it is a huge risk because we aren't really qualified to interpret what we do / don't hear. The example they used in their study (quite sad :( ) was about a FTM that thought something was off, used the Doppler thought she heard the heartbeat and didn't call her OB. Turns out there was something wrong and it ended poorly. 

    For me personally, I think it would just make me MORE anxious if I tried but couldn't. 💁
  • So I'm a FTM and kind of wondering what the average number of doctor appointments is like throughout pregnancy? 
    I ask because I'm trying to decide if I need to tell my coworkers before I break the news on social media! The current plan is tell the families after the 8 week appointment, everybody else finds out at 12 weeks. 
  • kiwi2628kiwi2628 member
    edited June 2019
    babyroma said:
    So I'm a FTM and kind of wondering what the average number of doctor appointments is like throughout pregnancy? 
    I ask because I'm trying to decide if I need to tell my coworkers before I break the news on social media! The current plan is tell the families after the 8 week appointment, everybody else finds out at 12 weeks. 
    I think most people see their OB at like 8-9 weeks and then another around 12. You might do one at 10 if you are doing the blood screen for genetic abnormalities/sex since I think that can’t be done until week 10. Then it’s generally once every 6 ish weeks until you hit 28 weeks, then once a month, then around 34 weeks it’s every other week u til 37 weeks then it’s every week. Approx. some doctors vary a bit, but that’s the general gist. 
  • How long has the blood test for gender thing been around? I delivered my children in 2011 and 2010 and never heard of this. Im just wondering if this is routine now or just in case of high risk baby's.
  • How long has the blood test for gender thing been around? I delivered my children in 2011 and 2010 and never heard of this. Im just wondering if this is routine now or just in case of high risk baby's.
    They have been around for a while. Some OBs don’t offer it for normal pregnancies since it also tests for genetic abnormalities and there can be false positives, but a lot of OBs offer it since so many people want it
  • Is anyone finding increased conflict with their spouse lately? Small things are causing me to feel upset and he feels like he can’t win. If anyone has tips for avoiding conflict in pregnancy, I’d love to hear them. I’ve been spooked to have kids for years due in part to all the research about decreased marital/relational satisfaction. This is too early to head down that path. 
  • @babyroma my OB sees you about 13 times for a “normal” pregnancy. 
    Me:33
    DH: 34
    Married: May 2011
    TTC #1: May 2015
    DS: 10/20/2016
    TTC #2: June 2019
    #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
  • @um_thor those pregnancy hormones can be rough. I remember last time I was pregnant, I was SO angry all the time during 1st tri. I’m embarrassed to admit I punched my husband in the arm during an argument (I’m not a violent person, but I was filled with so much rage. I don’t even know what about anymore). It should hopefully pass when your hormones regulate a bit.
    um_thor
  • @um_thor I’ve been very irritable. I just try to take a deep breath and walk away and if I’m still upset after I’ve cooled off then I’ll mention it to DH. In my experience though the pregnancy irritability has nothing on postpartum irritability. So, I would experiment and find what works for you now. I was awful to DH after my first, but much better after my second and I’m hoping this go around I can behave like a normal person 😬 I feel like people don’t talk about this stuff and so women aren’t really prepared for it. How much you love your baby is supposed to conquer all, but that’s not realistic. So be kind to yourself, and be prepared for how you MIGHT feel. You could feel totally yourself. Everyone is different. I’m just speaking from my experience. 
    daffodil_shoeum_thorbabytimeagain
  • leksiLleksiL member
    @robynlynn83 I had the panorama blood test with my DD in 2016. It was offered to me because at 35 have a higher chance of DS. I’m having mine done in about 3.5 weeks and I can’t wait to have assurance of a healthy baby but also to find out about the baby’s sex. 
    Me: 38, DH: 36 
    Married Jan 2008 
    DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18" <3 so in love <3
    Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020


    babytimeagain
  • Question! So I scheduled an elective abdominal ultrasound for tomorrow - I will be 7 weeks and 5 days. My one friend just gave me anxiety saying "what if you don't see baby's heartbeat, that's a waste of money" etc. Does anyone have good experiences with abdominal ultrasounds that early? The place didn't see to worry how far along I was. My ultrasound at the OB isn't until July 25th. 
    TW
    BFP 6/3/19 EDD 2/14/20 BFP 4/15/21 EDD 12/20/21
    Diagnosed with PCOS & Hashimoto's
  • @brookert615 I always have dating ultrasounds that early because I have longer cycles. That being said, are you sure about how far along you are? If you are a week behind it might be difficult to see the heartbeat, although it should be there. If they are having difficulties doing an abdominal one they will switch to transvaginal for better imaging. Fx you get to see your baby's heartbeat soon!! :) 
    brookert615
  • @brookert615 my US with DS was at 10 weeks, and they did a vaginal. I’m at a different hospital network with this pregnancy, and they did an abdominal last week at 7 weeks. When I told the tech about the 10 week vaginal, she was so surprised. She said they can do abdominals at 6 weeks, and only switch to vaginal if they can’t see anything. 
    brookert615
  • I think you will be fine, @brookert615.  They do vaginal at my office to get a better view.  Yours isn’t diagnostic, so other than seeing a hb, there really isn’t any reason to go vaginal.  They should be able to do abdominal and get a good view at 7w.
    brookert615
  • @brookert615, did they tell you to have a full bladder? If not you may want to find out if you should because it makes things easier to see that early on. I had an abdominal at 5w6d to check placement but then a vaginal one to look for measurements and a heartbeat. 
    brookert615
  • @clearlyclara Thank you! Yes I know how far along I was - I was temping and everything! 

    @daffodil_shoe @DDRRT1982 Thank you so much! That gave me a sigh of relief :)

    @jvk2012 They said to have it full but not painfully full lol. They also said to drink plenty of water 4 days before. Thank you so much!!! 
    TW
    BFP 6/3/19 EDD 2/14/20 BFP 4/15/21 EDD 12/20/21
    Diagnosed with PCOS & Hashimoto's
    craftywitch
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