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September 2019 Moms
themadcamel
member
The Inappropriate Comments Thread
themadcamel
member
Say what?!
Got a coworker who says the darndest things? MIL? Friend? Stranger at Target? Use this thread to share the outrageous comments and questions you've received from people who just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.
Re: The Inappropriate Comments Thread
When someone I know comments on my growing midsection, I say something completely inappropriate like “I know! I feel like maybe I should stop drinking so much beer!” 🍺 😂
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
I have one with a coworker from today and one about my mom.
The coworker approached me today and said, “oh my gosh, madcamel, a little birdie told me you’re pregnant! (sotto voce) Was it a whoopsie?” What the actual fuck.
My mom is constantly throwing shade and generally being a passive aggressive weirdo, but the latest incident was the magazine article she cut out and sent to me via snail mail. It was something about how to lose weight postpartum and there was a sticky note attached that just said, “You’re probably going to need this. It may seem far off, but you should be thinking about this now!” 🤦🏻♀️
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
I had a coworker (one I consider a friend) tell me that at the end of my pregnancy with DS, my entire hallway was hoping I’d go early. Apparently I was a huuuge bitch (which I totally was) but hearing it still kinda stung 😢
I haven't had any wtf comments yet. I did have a wtf experience though. Not super related to this thread, but I'm sharing anyway.
DH's good friend knew of our fertility struggles and that we miscarried last year. Well, we saw them in January and they told us they were going to start trying. Then DH sees the husband again in February. Keep in mind that we haven't told them we are pregnant yet because we are so nervous that something will go wrong. The friend tells DH he wants to give him a present and pulls out a bag of all these OPK's and pregnancy tests. He tells DH something like "surprise, we won't need these anymore!" I know it doesn't sound that bad when I tell the story, but it really upset me and was super tactless. They tried for one month and thought the way to break their pregnancy to their friends who have had infertility and loss struggles was by giving them your bag of leftovers? It was so insensitive and inconsiderate. I know it wasn't intentional, but seriously, who would ever think that was a good idea?
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
@kgg2241 Ew tactless is the perfect word for that. I validate your feelings! What an ass.
@zuuls_mom Ugh can commiserate, why do people feel the need to comment on weight? (Co-worker: I knew you were pregnant, you've been looking rounder especially in your face ... and [gestures to my entire frame] overall. 😶 )
own rant cont'd: I just spent 5 days with my grandparents in Florida (I love my gparents I really do), but good old grandpa told me every damn day that I'd "better watch it that you don't gain too fast." There was also, "When's your appointment again, Monday? Don't be surprised when the doctor tells you to lose some weight." Personal favorite: "Avocados again this morning? You know those are very fattening. And boiled eggs that's a lot of cholesterol." Extra annoying because he's overweight, please don't lecture me on nutrition while you eat fistfulls of salted cashews from a Costco-sized jar. [Ok my rant is over. I feel so guilty complaining about my gparents. I came back home today so I can stop being a brat, start missing them, and write them a thank you note.]
To anyone getting weight comments in pregnancy-that’s just horrible. Everyone has a different body type, carries differently, and has different cues for what to eat. In my book, excessive weight gain is way more than 35 pounds.. I’m not a doctor, but I’ve known many healthy woman to gain 40-50 pounds in pregnancy.
@phillyftm ummm eggs and avocados sounds extremely healthy to me unless there is a known high cholesterol issue. And the healthy fats from those foods are really good for the baby’s brain development. I’m trying to eat all of that stuff!
@mommyshark13 can’t handle everything!!!!?? My gosh! F off! In the nicest way to your mother of course.
Whew. These comments you all are getting has me fired up this morning! Keep on keeping on, everyone here is wonderful, and making a baby for goodness sakes!
@supermom34482 I... what...? I can't even.
@kgg2241 what a shitty way to break the news. People have no tact.
@phillyftm my mom is a bit of a handful for sure. She has good intentions overall, but she's from a different era. She'll be 75 in a month and is way too set in her ways to change. Your grandparents' comments sound pretty irritating. It sure is easier to feel warm and fuzzy about some family when you're not staying with them for a while!
@mommyshark13 aren't MILs just the best? *eyeroll*
@blitzybee aw thanks for being fired up on everyone's behalf!
H and I went to the movies last night (Breakthrough). I wore jeans and a SUPER flowy top that suggested literally zero. When we gave our tickets to the lady, she immediately goes ‘you gave me two tickets, but you have three?’ I spent a minute looking to see if there was someone she was assuming was with us, but nope. We went back and forth with her making rude and awkward commentary about our ‘extra person’ till I finally said ‘I’ve got three at home and enough kids to worry about counting.’ and she dropped it. But like, WHAT?
In the spirit of that, I'm going to respond with sarcasm to as many of yall as I can. All in good fun! I promise! Not trying to be hella bitch.
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@lillywonderland Yes, this! I can never keep my sarcasm in when the stupid is strong!
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@mamaber2204 Oh man, my mean girl goes, "I know! We can almost wear the same size now!" Followed by a specific food request.
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@zuuls_mom *gasp* "It's almost like there is another human inside of me taking up space!"
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@themadcamel to your coworker, "What, you don't do your hubs raw on the regular?" (Sorry, that's totally the kind of comment that would get me email from HR. But so worth it for the look on their face). And damn, even your mom's method of communication is passive. We need to find you a Buzzfeed list to print and mail back of '10 Things NOT to say to a pregnant person' with sections highlighted.
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@RedBreast35 Please tell me there was a betting pool and that you so would have been in on that. For spite, if nothing else. Also, you are entitled to be bitchy when pregnant. If they don't bring snacks, they get no slack.
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@scrappie1186 if dude is making you uncomfortable, please tell HR. Chances are he is making inappropriate comments to others too. That said, you could always come up with a random name to ask him the same things. "Of course! Did Jacob keep you up all night?" If he asks who's RandomName, reply with Who's Gazelle?
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@septoctkids Find the most obnoxious name possible and tell her that instead. Like Lemonjello or something. I keep telling my ILs I'm thinking Fred and George or Marco and Polo (or something else obnoxious every time they suggest a name).
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@supermom34482 That's really rude. Is this the kind of thing that normally fall out of his mouth? Because I'd say something like, "Last I checked my husband doesn't pay me to fuck. So I'm pretty sure whore doesn't cover it."
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@kgg2241 that is absolutely rude and wildly inappropriate. Please tell me you don't still consider them friends?
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@phillyftm Grandparents are so hard, because we love them but damn the stuff that comes out of their mouths is rough. I'd ask about his weight as often as he is bugging you about yours. And something like, didn't your doc say to watch your sodium intake? How much salt are on those things?
Oh! And if you have never done it, try cooking an egg in an avocado. Like toad in a hole but without toast. So tasty!
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@mommyshark13 Oh damn, I'd be so pissed. Is she usually unhelpful? My sarcastic comment would be something along the lines of, "Well, I didn't want to douse the coming grandchild with radiation while trying to make sure the current grandchild didn't die or need major surgery, so... guess I can only be on top of so much." Major brownie points to you for coping with sick kiddo while pregnant.
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@kiddiesandkitties that is just so weird! I would point blank ask the person what they are talking about needing 3 tickets for. Then if they mention baby bump I would so lie and say I wasn't pregnant. Embarrassing people does wonders for learning to keep their mouths shut.
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Again, I apologize if I offended anyone! I'm hoping I made a few of you laugh, about the possibilities of nothing else.
@ternsetc thank you for validating my feelings!
@mamaber2204 I'm glad I'm not the only one whose gparents seem to get under everyone's skin.
@themadcamel How about HuffPost instead of Buzzfeed? 😁 https://www.huffpost.com/entry/10-things-not-to-say-to-a-pregnant-woman_b_57ba6dcee4b007f181990bf7
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
Married 05/26/17
STM; DS 9/14/2019
EDD 6/13/2022