The Inappropriate Comments Thread

themadcamel

Say what?!

Got a coworker who says the darndest things? MIL? Friend? Stranger at Target? Use this thread to share the outrageous comments and questions you've received from people who just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.

lillywonderland

I have a vice-versa situation.

When someone I know comments on my growing midsection, I say something completely inappropriate like “I know! I feel like maybe I should stop drinking so much beer!” 🍺 😂

mamaber2204

This doesn't really rise to the level of outrageous but was definitely annoying.  My paralegal, who talks with a five-year-old's voice/whine anyway (and SUPER slowly, making it worse) walked in the other day while I was focusing on work and goes "What do I need to do to get you to turn that frown upside down?"  Then immediately follows it up with, "You're getting so big!!!"  If looks could kill, I would no longer have a paralegal.

zuuls_mom

I was in the break room earlier talking to someone and she asked how far along I was and I said "19 weeks". She proceeded to respond with "Oh wow, you're so big already!". Gee, thanks 

themadcamel

@mamaber2204 oh my goodness, what an idiotic thing to say. The “frown upside down” comment alone would have annoyed me 😆. 

I have one with a coworker from today and one about my mom.

The coworker approached me today and said, “oh my gosh, madcamel, a little birdie told me you’re pregnant! (sotto voce) Was it a whoopsie?” What the actual fuck. 

My mom is constantly throwing shade and generally being a passive aggressive weirdo, but the latest incident was the magazine article she cut out and sent to me via snail mail. It was something about how to lose weight postpartum and there was a sticky note attached that just said, “You’re probably going to need this. It may seem far off, but you should be thinking about this now!” 🤦🏻‍♀️

zuuls_mom

@themadcamel I have no words for yours. WHAT. 

themadcamel

@zuuls_mom people really suck lol. 

RedBreast35

@themadcamel your mom 😱

I had a coworker (one I consider a friend) tell me that at the end of my pregnancy with DS, my entire hallway was hoping I’d go early. Apparently I was a huuuge bitch (which I totally was) but hearing it still kinda stung 😢

scrappie1186

This one creepy guy at work won't leave me be and being pregnant has made it worse. He wanted me to tell him the names we have, I told him we don't have any.He has decided to call the baby Gazelle for some reason. he laughs every time he says it and asks every day if "Gazelle let me sleep last night"  and then laughs hysterically. He then tells me how privlidged I am to be statting a family. I have tried ignoring him and shrugging my shoulders when he talks but he won't leave me be. it's really annoying. Vent over

septoctkids

Not really “inappropriate” comment but my MIL always makes comments about how we don’t share our baby names before birth. She made a comment the other day about when our son was born and his name. She was like when my grandson was born I said to myself wow I would’ve never thought that name. She said it in a tone like ugh what an awful name. Then she said but it grew on her. Exact reason why we don’t share baby names ahead of time with family and close friends. No time for opinions before hand. 🙄 So now she keeps asking about this name all annoyed and laughs to make it seem like she’s funny... ugh can’t stand her.  

supermom34482

I have a great one....when I told some coworkers casually one of them responded with "you whore!".......cue major wtf face. I was so shocked I couldn't think of anything to respond with. I haven't talked to him since then, so about 5 weeks now and I have no plans to.

kgg2241

@themadcamel your mom 🙄. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Passive aggressive people are the worst. 


I haven't had any wtf comments yet. I did have a wtf experience though. Not super related to this thread, but I'm sharing anyway.

DH's good friend knew of our fertility struggles and that we miscarried last year. Well, we saw them in January and they told us they were going to start trying. Then DH sees the husband again in February. Keep in mind that we haven't told them we are pregnant yet because we are so nervous that something will go wrong. The friend tells DH he wants to give him a present and pulls out a bag of all these OPK's and pregnancy tests. He tells DH something like "surprise, we won't need these anymore!" I know it doesn't sound that bad when I tell the story, but it really upset me and was super tactless. They tried for one month and thought the way to break their pregnancy to their friends who have had infertility and loss struggles was by giving them your bag of leftovers? It was so insensitive and inconsiderate. I know it wasn't intentional, but seriously, who would ever think that was a good idea? 

supermom34482

@kgg2241 wow...I would be upset too. That was really inconsiderate. Sorry you had to deal with that

lillywonderland

@kgg2241 That’s super douchey. And such a weird way to tell someone your wife is KU. I’m sorry that happened to you. 

kgg2241

@supermom34482 @lillywonderland ugh yeah it was so weird. And thank you-- DH doesn't think it was a big deal, so it feels good to be validated for being upset by it.

zuuls_mom

@kgg2241 ew yeah, that was super tactless and awful. I would have been upset too. 

swamplass

@themadcamel Lol "sotto voce." Your mom sounds tough. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Passive aggression via snail mail, just wow. That's like next level passive.

@kgg2241 Ew tactless is the perfect word for that. I validate your feelings! What an ass.

@zuuls_mom Ugh can commiserate, why do people feel the need to comment on weight? (Co-worker: I knew you were pregnant, you've been looking rounder especially in your face ... and [gestures to my entire frame] overall. 😶 )

own rant cont'd: I just spent 5 days with my grandparents in Florida (I love my gparents I really do), but good old grandpa told me every damn day that I'd "better watch it that you don't gain too fast." There was also, "When's your appointment again, Monday? Don't be surprised when the doctor tells you to lose some weight." Personal favorite: "Avocados again this morning? You know those are very fattening. And boiled eggs that's a lot of cholesterol." Extra annoying because he's overweight, please don't lecture me on nutrition while you eat fistfulls of salted cashews from a Costco-sized jar. [Ok my rant is over. I feel so guilty complaining about my gparents. I came back home today so I can stop being a brat, start missing them, and write them a thank you note.]

mamaber2204

@phillyftm Grandparents can be the best and the worst at the same time.  Those comments sound exactly like what one of my now deceased grandfathers and grandmothers would have said.  My living grandparents aren't likely to say things like that but can be counted on to start sentences with, "I'm not a racist, but..."  Gatherings get awkward and tense quickly.  Haha.  

mommyshark13

Two weeks ago, DD (she's 3) had a really bad stomach virus to the point where our pediatrician sent us to our ER for fluids and a CT scan to rule out appendicitis. Obviously CT scans use radiation so I couldn't go with her. DH ended up having to take off work and meet us bc I couldn't go ahold of anyone (not surprisingly bc this always happens). Afterwards when MIL finally got back to us hours later she said that it was a shame he had to take off and that I "couldn't handle everything I had going on". 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

blitzybee

@themadcamel wow. Both of those are really bad. And wtf! Weight loss postpartum!? That is definitely not something to think about now, and no one’s business or concern! 

To anyone getting weight comments in pregnancy-that’s just horrible. Everyone has a different body type, carries differently, and has different cues for what to eat. In my book, excessive weight gain is way more than 35 pounds.. I’m not a doctor, but I’ve known many healthy woman to gain 40-50 pounds in pregnancy. 

@phillyftm ummm eggs and avocados sounds extremely healthy to me unless there is a known high cholesterol issue. And the healthy fats from those foods are really good for the baby’s brain development. I’m trying to eat all of that stuff! 

@mommyshark13 can’t handle everything!!!!?? My gosh! F off! In the nicest way to your mother of course. 

Whew. These comments you all are getting has me fired up this morning! Keep on keeping on, everyone here is wonderful, and making a baby for goodness sakes! 

mamaber2204

@mommyshark13 I'm mad for you!  OMG!  That's outrageous.  My DH worked 16 hour days (from home, but he was sequestered in the basement office and NOT upstairs at all) for the two weeks after DS was born.  You know, those super hard two weeks after you push a baby out of your body.  I understood completely, but it was still really hard.  And, since I was BF'ing, I did all night feeds (forever - the man has literally had to get up two times ever at night in DS's 19mos - not complaining; that's just the way it worked for us).  EVERY time MIL came over during those first two weeks she would rave about what an involved dad DH was and how he was doing "more than his share" of baby care and how "lucky" I was that he was doing so much to help me out since I "couldn't do it".  I certainly didn't want to snap and tell her how her son had done virtually NOTHING to help since DS had been born because that would have hurt DH's feelings.  But come on.  And I didn't feel resentful towards him, for the record, I just hated her raving about him doing "the majority" when he was doing nothing.  

themadcamel

@RedBreast35 I'm probably a bitch at work, but it would definitely suck to hear it confirmed. 
@supermom34482 I... what...? I can't even. 
@kgg2241 what a shitty way to break the news. People have no tact.
@phillyftm my mom is a bit of a handful for sure. She has good intentions overall, but she's from a different era. She'll be 75 in a month and is way too set in her ways to change. Your grandparents' comments sound pretty irritating. It sure is easier to feel warm and fuzzy about some family when you're not staying with them for a while!
@mommyshark13 aren't MILs just the best? *eyeroll*
@blitzybee aw thanks for being fired up on everyone's behalf! 

kiddiesandkitties

So much WTF in this thread. I promise to come back and @ soon. (Have been on ‘vaca’ with the kids for school break and not at my computer at all!) 

H and I went to the movies last night (Breakthrough). I wore jeans and a SUPER flowy top that suggested literally zero. When we gave our tickets to the lady, she immediately goes ‘you gave me two tickets, but you have three?’ I spent a minute looking to see if there was someone she was assuming was with us, but nope. We went back and forth with her making rude and awkward commentary about our ‘extra person’ till I finally said ‘I’ve got three at home and enough kids to worry about counting.’ and she dropped it. But like, WHAT? 

ternsetc

@septoctkids I get so annoyed when people want to know the name ahead of time - if their response stopped at something like 'Oh!', fine, I don't mind, it doesn't even have to be a positive response, but it irks me so much when instead they start offering alternative suggestions! If I didn't ask for you to brainstorm about it, please don't! - you aren't going to name our kid!

@kiddiesandkitties whaaat?!

@mommyshark13 WHAT?!!

@kgg2241 that was so thoughtless and rude of him - your feelings are completely justified, I can't get my head around thinking this would be an OK way to announce to you.

@themadcamel ugh on both counts. This is for sure not the time to be thinking about postpartum weight loss. And the snail mail part of this has me beside myself.

@phillyftm that sounds beyond annoying. Absolutely agree that avocado and eggs are among the best food choices for a growing baby. Can't believe how many people think commenting on weight is acceptable.

@blitzybee I gained 45 lbs last time and even though all the paperwork said I should only gain 35 not a single person ever mentioned my weight to me as an issue at any appointment, which I assume they would have if they were concerned. I also know a lot of women who gained around 50, and were perfectly healthy during/after pregnancy. We are all so different.

I'm sorry if I missed anyone! This thread is getting me worked up, haha!

kgg2241

@kiddiesandkitties um... Did she think she was being funny?? That is so weird. Some people...

mommyshark13

@mamaber2204 I seriously wanted to flip on her. I would have lost it on your MIL too.

mommyshark13

@kiddiesandkitties Wow.... awkward, lady. Awkward.

cheshyre319

Holy crap, this thread is crazy! I already have a problem with keeping my comments to myself, my sarcastic ass would get me in so much trouble with these people. As this has gotten stupid long, I'm going to put it behind a spoiler tag to not stretch the thread too long. Also, I'm sorry in advance if I offend anyone! Sarcasm and tone (and my sense of humor) don't always translate via text well.

Ex. A few years ago, my ILs would ask regularly about getting grandbabies from me. I hadn't had enough therapy at that point and a few times just let my mouth go. It stopped after my FIL offered to cut me a check *per* grandchild with exponential increases for multiples. This man is obsessed and didn't know twins run in my family. I told him my vagina is neither ATM nor clown car. He never brought up grandbabies to me again.
In the spirit of that, I'm going to respond with sarcasm to as many of yall as I can. All in good fun! I promise! Not trying to be hella bitch. 
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@lillywonderland Yes, this! I can never keep my sarcasm in when the stupid is strong!
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@mamaber2204 Oh man, my mean girl goes, "I know! We can almost wear the same size now!" Followed by a specific food request. 
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@zuuls_mom *gasp* "It's almost like there is another human inside of me taking up space!"
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@themadcamel to your coworker, "What, you don't do your hubs raw on the regular?" (Sorry, that's totally the kind of comment that would get me email from HR. But so worth it for the look on their face). And damn, even your mom's method of communication is passive. We need to find you a Buzzfeed list to print and mail back of '10 Things NOT to say to a pregnant person' with sections highlighted.
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@RedBreast35 Please tell me there was a betting pool and that you so would have been in on that. For spite, if nothing else. Also, you are entitled to be bitchy when pregnant. If they don't bring snacks, they get no slack.
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@scrappie1186 if dude is making you uncomfortable, please tell HR. Chances are he is making inappropriate comments to others too. That said, you could always come up with a random name to ask him the same things. "Of course! Did Jacob keep you up all night?" If he asks who's RandomName, reply with Who's Gazelle?
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@septoctkids Find the most obnoxious name possible and tell her that instead. Like Lemonjello or something. I keep telling my ILs I'm thinking Fred and George or Marco and Polo (or something else obnoxious every time they suggest a name).
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@supermom34482 That's really rude. Is this the kind of thing that normally fall out of his mouth? Because I'd say something like, "Last I checked my husband doesn't pay me to fuck. So I'm pretty sure whore doesn't cover it."
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@kgg2241 that is absolutely rude and wildly inappropriate. Please tell me you don't still consider them friends?
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@phillyftm Grandparents are so hard, because we love them but damn the stuff that comes out of their mouths is rough. I'd ask about his weight as often as he is bugging you about yours. And something like, didn't your doc say to watch your sodium intake? How much salt are on those things? 
Oh! And if you have never done it, try cooking an egg in an avocado. Like toad in a hole but without toast. So tasty!
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@mommyshark13 Oh damn, I'd be so pissed. Is she usually unhelpful? My sarcastic comment would be something along the lines of, "Well, I didn't want to douse the coming grandchild with radiation while trying to make sure the current grandchild didn't die or need major surgery, so... guess I can only be on top of so much." Major brownie points to you for coping with sick kiddo while pregnant.
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@kiddiesandkitties that is just so weird! I would point blank ask the person what they are talking about needing 3 tickets for. Then if they mention baby bump I would so lie and say I wasn't pregnant. Embarrassing people does wonders for learning to keep their mouths shut. 
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Again, I apologize if I offended anyone! I'm hoping I made a few of you laugh, about the possibilities of nothing else. 

septoctkids

@cheshyre319 hahah now we’re talking! We told her with our first we were naming him after my nephew who is a 4th.. that we were going with the same name so he can be a 5th. She believed us. She’s something else. 😂 Now I need to brainstorm a ridiculous fake name. Maybe like Beatrice or something super old school.  

swamplass

@blitzybee thank you! I was thinking the same thing "this is good for brain development" !! Also my grandma is so sweet she knows I love me some avocados whenever I visit she buys 1 for each day I'm there. So thoughtful. 

@ternsetc thank you for validating my feelings! 

@mamaber2204 I'm glad I'm not the only one whose gparents seem to get under everyone's skin.

themadcamel

@cheshyre319 🤣🤣 loving the Buzzfeed list idea!

RedBreast35

@cheshyre319 “my vagina is not an atm or a clown car” 😂😂😂 Ded. 

mommyshark13

@cheshyre319 She is mostly unhelpful. About just about everything.

cheshyre319

@septoctkids oh! Is there a sneaky way to find out the name of an Aunt she absolutely hated? Then use that name? 😆

@themadcamel How about HuffPost instead of Buzzfeed? 😁 https://www.huffpost.com/entry/10-things-not-to-say-to-a-pregnant-woman_b_57ba6dcee4b007f181990bf7

mamaber2204

@cheshyre319 OMG your comebacks are amazing.  Can you just come everywhere with me so you can pop off with those when necessary?  I always think of amazing responses about five minutes after I've left the scene - I can't do it on demand!  

zuuls_mom

This isn't super inappropriate and more random, but I was at Carter's yesterday buying DS a hat and got my first unsolicited bump touch. It was by a little boy who had to be about 8 years old and it was while I was waiting in line to pay. He just turned around, saw my belly and then poked it and said "You've got a big baby in there?" and I was kind of startled so I just said "Yep!" and then he asked if I feed it often 😂 It was so awkward, but also kind of adorable. 

MsBeachNJ

@zuuls_mom aw! As much as I LOATHE people invading personal space, the fact that it was a little boy is kind of adorable  

sunshine2417

Last time I was at my doctor she said "so, it looks like you've gained 7 pounds so far this pregnancy... what do you think about that?" I replied, "I think I'm pregnant... and my grandma just died, I just got back from traveling for her funeral, I have heartburn every day and have been vomiting at least 1x per day so there are limited foods I can even stomach right now and I haven't pooped in 5 days... sounds about right to me!" At my first 'pregnancy education' appointment for this pregnancy, the nurse told me she thought I should only gain 10 pounds this pregnancy. DS was 9 pounds 5 oz at birth... so basically they want me to lose weight while pregnant. Cool. Cool. Right on, doc! WTF! 

threes_companypu

@sunshine2417 I’m in the same boat as you with only gaining 10lbs. I gained 60 with DS and was active as a server pulling doubles everyday. This time around I’m at a sit down office job so 10lbs seems impossible 😩. 

kaceyallan

@sunshine2417 @duewithpu2 Yeesh! My doc said gaining anywhere from 20-35 lbs is what they like to see, but that it really differs with each person and pregnancy. Don't get too hung up on the 10 lbs max weight gain, that's ridiculous! 

MsBeachNJ

@sunshine2417 your doctor wouldn't want to see me then. I gained 60 pounds with my daughter, and so far this pregnancy (19+2) I'm up close to 15 already.