We just told my family yesterday! For some reason I was SO nervous (with no real rhyme or reason to it - except, since this LO is coming so close after our daughter, I worried that people would just have crazy blurt-reactions out of shock). My nerves were completely unwarranted. My best friend was the most shocked (mostly because she knew when we planned on aiming for #2, and it wasn't now) but ecstatic. My mom was thrilled and my step-dad happy cried. Even my aunt, who tends to be very "slow down and be young!" was outrageously excited. Now it's all very real and crazy!!!! We're on our way to tell my husband's family now. What a ride!!!
So my family knows already but we are planning to take photos for our official announcement Wednesday and then announce on Friday (13 weeks exactly). I’m getting pretty excited. It’s harry Potter themed. I couldn’t resist embracing my inner nerd this time. Lol.
I’m posting a photo of what our announcement was going to be. Instead I’m making a post today about hope in relation to pregnancy and infant loss Remembrance Day on Facebook where we announce this pregnancy. Our first pregnancy ended in a second trimester miscarriage. But, I didn’t want our announcement to go to waste so thought I’d share it here.
Mommy to an angel baby and a sweet little girl Earth side.
immediate family already knows. I've kept this pregnancy pretty close to my chest, after miscarrying earlier this year. but today, I finally officially broke the news to my boss, who admitted he had suspicions. he kept pressing me w/ plans to send me on various business trips next year, so I finally had to tell him today to table those ideas for about the next 2yrs.
it's a relief, b/c while my belly has gotten too big to hide, I've been trying to not dress up the bump TOO much. but now, I don't have to worry so much about what I'm going to wear every day!
this is our 2nd, so i'm still super on the fence about a fb announcement. I rarely post anything on fb these days anyway, why should that change b/c we're expanding our family? not that babies aren't worth celebrating. I just don't want to share the celebration with everyone.
am I being weird? I'm probably being weird. blame it on hormones and way too much wes anderson lately. (my son has been obsessed w/ fantastic mr. fox for the past week.)
I feel bad. I still haven't told my dad. We are not close and and LOVES to share my pictures and things on facebook and I hate it (even when I ask him not to) I have told lots of work people and friends but not my Dad. I know I need to tell him but I just hate having to deal
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #2 since January 2018
Baby #1 DD Born 8/25/2016 BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
@kosmo86, I kind of relate. my dad is not my favorite person, but he forces this totally fake relationship that I mostly indulge. but it makes me cringe. and what's worse is him & his wife know I'm sort of on edge w/ this pregnancy b/c of MC earlier, that they're especially awkwardly positive about this one. (especially his wife). I wish they never knew about the last one.
she gave me a thumbs up during our last face time when I updated them on this pregnancy. what the fuck??
@batmama31 I get it - this is our second and I'm not planning on a social media announcement either. That being said, I do post to Instagram about once a month, so at some point I'm most likely going to post something where it's obvious. I figure whenever that is I'll just slip in a hashtag like #yeahthatsababybelly or whatever the hell. I had been thinking it might be Halloween because if we get a cute family photo with our son I'd want to share, BUT I'm also stalling on telling work and I think one or two people from there follow me, so I couldn't unless I told and I DON'T WANNAAAAAA (I mostly work from home so nobody has seen me).
I'm being super weird about telling people in general. We're over 13 weeks and have gotten nothing but great test results and nobody knows but our parents. I saw one of my very best friends last night that I rarely get to see and I clammed up and didn't say anything, even after she asked if we had plans for baby #2. I don't know what my deal is - I'm like...nervous. We're going pumpkin picking this weekend with friends I've had since childhood and I have actual anxiety about possibly having to tell them.
@Piccola1988 I know your two are coming in very quick succession just like mine, and for me, that was a huge source of anxiety! This past weekend we told our families and friends and this week we told work, and I was SO NERVOUS every time. Part of me feels like people will judge or say something negative because our kids will only be 14 months apart. Logically, I KNOW what other people think doesn't matter - and I know that everyone knows we want a big family and probably won't be surprised! - but for some irrational reason, I still felt anxious.
@ashtuesday oh yeah that's definitely a big part of it. I am absolutely expecting some people to be like "ALREADY?!" and I may kill them. When H told his stepmom she was like "are you ready for another one?" and I wanted to reach through the phone and choke her because WTF kind of question is that? But really it's much less awkward to tell people now than to wait until I look like I'm smuggling the Thanksgiving turkey under my shirt so I need to just suck it up. I hope your telling everyone went well and that nobody gave you any annoying reactions!
So I'm trying to come up with an announcement for social media (and I may not, that's part of it). I want to incorporate DD (duh) but I also want to announce this baby while honoring our baby that is in heaven. I'm stuck on any meaningful ideas. And maybe that's where I'm stuck. I want to make sure that I don't leave our second baby out of it. (and now I'm crying at work).
@Piccola1988 The most shocked reactions came from my best friend and co-teachee, both of whom knew we were planning on waiting at least a year to try for #2. Everyone else seemed to basically expect it lol. Hopefully your spreading the word will go smoothly too!
@mrstmoose I totally understand your thought process. Does your way of incorporating your angel baby have to be meaningful/recognizeable to others, or is it more for you? What I mean: my best friend gave me a gift for our first baby as soon as I told her I was pregnant, and then we had a miscarriage. I could see myself incorporating that gift into an announcement - no one else would know it's significance (very few people knew about our mc), but I would.
@mrstmoose along the same lines as what @ashtuesday said if you do want it to be recognizable do you have something that your DD could hold and have a sign that says “we”re getting a sister/brother/sibling!”
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
omg, @mrstmoose, now i’m crying! i hope you find an idea that speaks to your heart & fulfills your need.
i love the subtlety of @thatbaintforbetty’s idea! if i do decide to do an announcement, i thought i would do something referencing rainbows, which i know is super cliche, but i don’t think its meaning is known too widely that most people would get it (at least as they my social media friends) but those that would, i think would sort of have some solidarity w/ me? idk...
@Piccola1988 & @ashtuesday, i’m so angry for you guys that other people’s potentially insensitive reactions are giving you guys such anxiety! 😤 i personally have always kind of been a “don’t give a shit” person, so i have little helpful advice, only long distance support that you two find peace and celebration soon
Y’all are giving me courage! I’m 13 weeks right now & we have only told 2 friends. I am a private person & worry about other peoples opinions & worries ... I have enough anxiety on my own!
But my uncle is sick & the family’s gathering together impromptu this wknd & we are flying in ... at 13 weeks the timing feels right & Way better than having to wait until Thanksgivings which was the original plan. I think once I have the additional support it will feel good and way More real!
This is what we are using. My SIL did a whole Harry Potter themed photo shoot with us, and there are a lot of cute ones, but this is the main one I’ll use. We took them on Wednesday and are announcing today.
a lot of people at work have been whispering amongst each other, speculating to whether or not I'm pregnant. but it's mostly people who I don't shoot the shit with. but they keep asking around, and they have asked someone who does know, but he knows that I don't really have any intention of making any kind of "work announcement," so he's keeping mum. (really, I think he's just trying to set someone up to ask me the awkward question, b/c I've more or less committed to making anyone who asks me feel like shit if they dare ask about the change in my figure- I live for awkward moments.)
I guess what bugs me most about all of this is people who I don't talk to regularly, and who have never cared about my personal life before, suddenly think they're entitled to know about my personal life just b/c I'm pregnant? it feels intrusive.
I did share the news w/ another co-worker this morning, a) to vent to him about the above, and b) b/c he will be my backup during maternity leave, so I'll need to train him soon, anyway. but he had a great idea. he suggested that I send out a mass email w/ my baby registration info.
but it got me thinking, for working moms who've been through this, did you make an official announcement at work? how did you do it? email? a note in a meeting?
@batmama31 I told my boss and my counterpart in my department, along with a few work friends. Other people have overheard me discussing it with friends/my department and inquired, but I really don't plan on making some mass announcement.
@batmama31, that is frustrating. It's something inherent in people I think, to be drawn to "gossip," even if it doesn't affect them.
My job is fairly relaxed and casual, so all I did was tell my boss early because I was so sick I worried it would affect my performance, then the other employees kind of found out from word of mouth amongst themselves. I did an official announcement online at 10 weeks. The kids I coach learned through word of mouth also (I guess I should've asked the coaches to keep quiet, but once one person knows...).
Are you in a department that will need to know you'll be gone for awhile? You could announce a "leave of absence," kind of jokingly and add your baby registry link at the bottom.
@kangstadt, no. not everyone I work w/ has to know I'll be out. the people who DO need to know already do. I guess people have asked my boss about me, and he asked me if he could say anything. I asked him not to. I told him that it will be obvious enough in a few weeks and it's really no one's business. (my boss is also awkward as fuck- he's the perfect combination of michael scott and dwight schrute, so I can only imagine how an announcement from him would come.)
yesterday, my old boss just casually asked me, "so when's the baby due?" and I didn't think that was inappropriate or intrusive. and another manager in another business unit just casually said, "congratulations, you must be excited, blah blah.." I didn't find either of those encounters awkward or inappropriate. but the gossip kinda grinds my gears.
my co-worker & I were just talking now about how even more strange it is b/c most everyone on the shop floor are men. so it's all men talking and speculating. like, when did men care so much about a pregnant woman? do they plan on throwing me a shower?? it's so odd..
@batmama31 With DD i was around 10 weeks about the time we had our office holiday dinner, which consisted of my office coworker, our direct boss and our consultant, it wasn't a big company. My boss was a big drinker and knew that i generally didn't turn down a glass of wine with dinner. So i announced then, it was pretty informal and we just talked a bit about it and then we moved on. My office coworker actually already knew since he caught me in the act of throwing up a couple times.
I haven't told anyone at my current job. I think my boss might suspect but she's also technically the HR manager and probably won't actually bring it up. I will probably have to spill the beans soon though since she will be out of the office and working from home for a lot of next month and it's something i feel i should do in person.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
I started a new contract job with a company I have worked with for 5 years. I don’t know my new colleagues that well and am very uncomfortable sharing my news. TW- what complicates it all is that I have had losses at 11, 13 and 26 weeks, so I never really feel “safe” sharing with people outside of my closest family and friends. I have my 14 week appointment tomorrow (And my pgal brain is so triggered), so I might be more open after that. I feel so awkward and I comfortable though.
but it got me thinking, for working moms who've been through this, did you make an official announcement at work? how did you do it? email? a note in a meeting?
No official announcement. I always tell my boss first. Then I start to tell coworkers and team members that will be impacted by my absence. At some point I'll bring it up in a staff meeting (for planning purposes). I make sure to tell them it is no secret and they are free to share with others. Most don't. I work with all men so honestly it is awkward as hell any way. Other than that I just let word spread and honestly after awhile there will be absolutely no hiding it and people will figure it out (I carry babies all out front, by 5 months it will be glaringly obvious). There are a few random people at work that I absolutely dread finding out simply because I KNOW they will bring it up every time they see me and probably make inappropriate comments/ask inappropriate questions. In that case I deploy the stealth bulky sweater in the hallways, lol. It is only a matter of time though...
@batmama last time I told my boss and she helped spread the word to the few that needed to know. From there people just figured it out. A few asked and I answered honestly. This time I just told my boss yesterday, but this situation is a little different because I'm a department of one now and my manager is just somebody slightly higher up than me that I report to for the sake of reporting to someone, so I think I likely have more people I need to tell myself, like our CEO.
Regardless, I didn't make a work announcement last time and I won't this time. If people want to gossip and speculate I don't really care, honestly. I didn't tell any coworkers at all until I was far enough along to be comfortable with people knowing, so when I did I told them there was no embargo on the information and some of them probably filled in the blanks for me, which was kind of nice. At a certain point everybody just knew.
@batmama31 I work for a fairly large company but in a very small lab. Everyone in my lab, including my direct boss, knew I was going through IVF - I guess I could've hid it, but I had so many appointments and I'm a pretty open person anyway. So they all knew because they knew when I was having my embryo transfer. Outside my lab, I don't really work with anyone directly, so I haven't told anyone. However, I am planning on wearing a Halloween shirt next week that says "Something's Brewin" with a cauldron on it. My bump isn't that big yet, but hopefully people get the idea. I thought it'd be funny! I also just applied for my STD and parental leave, so it's official through HR. I'd be super annoyed, though, if I had a bunch of people whispering about me! I don't think anyone really knows me enough to care lol. Plus there are lots of pregnant women at my company.
@batmama31 I'm a teacher, so my situation is a little different. I told my principal, then the co-teachers I work with everyday, and then I made an announcement to my students. With kids, I feel like it's different: they need to have time to adjust to me leaving before I do, and they're going to gossip anyway. I don't make announcements to anyone else on the staff, and the gossip you're experiencing from adults would drive me completely bonkers!
@batmama31 I told my coworkers with my last pregnancy. However, my situation was different. I work in a smaller group and am close to most of my coworkers. My work assignment sometimes depends upon people knowing as well. (Certain diseases I can’t have as patients.) I bought cookies with a note that said “Eat up so I won’t be the only one gaining weight in the next few months!” Lol
Re: Have any of you told everyone about being pregnant? And if not how do you plan to?
it's a relief, b/c while my belly has gotten too big to hide, I've been trying to not dress up the bump TOO much. but now, I don't have to worry so much about what I'm going to wear every day!
this is our 2nd, so i'm still super on the fence about a fb announcement. I rarely post anything on fb these days anyway, why should that change b/c we're expanding our family? not that babies aren't worth celebrating. I just don't want to share the celebration with everyone.
am I being weird? I'm probably being weird. blame it on hormones and way too much wes anderson lately. (my son has been obsessed w/ fantastic mr. fox for the past week.)
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
she gave me a thumbs up during our last face time when I updated them on this pregnancy. what the fuck??
I'm being super weird about telling people in general. We're over 13 weeks and have gotten nothing but great test results and nobody knows but our parents. I saw one of my very best friends last night that I rarely get to see and I clammed up and didn't say anything, even after she asked if we had plans for baby #2. I don't know what my deal is - I'm like...nervous. We're going pumpkin picking this weekend with friends I've had since childhood and I have actual anxiety about possibly having to tell them.
@mrstmoose I totally understand your thought process. Does your way of incorporating your angel baby have to be meaningful/recognizeable to others, or is it more for you? What I mean: my best friend gave me a gift for our first baby as soon as I told her I was pregnant, and then we had a miscarriage. I could see myself incorporating that gift into an announcement - no one else would know it's significance (very few people knew about our mc), but I would.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
i love the subtlety of @thatbaintforbetty’s idea! if i do decide to do an announcement, i thought i would do something referencing rainbows, which i know is super cliche, but i don’t think its meaning is known too widely that most people would get it (at least as they my social media friends) but those that would, i think would sort of have some solidarity w/ me? idk...
@Piccola1988 & @ashtuesday, i’m so angry for you guys that other people’s potentially insensitive reactions are giving you guys such anxiety! 😤 i personally have always kind of been a “don’t give a shit” person, so i have little helpful advice, only long distance support that you two find peace and celebration soon
This is what we are using. My SIL did a whole Harry Potter themed photo shoot with us, and there are a lot of cute ones, but this is the main one I’ll use. We took them on Wednesday and are announcing today.
a lot of people at work have been whispering amongst each other, speculating to whether or not I'm pregnant. but it's mostly people who I don't shoot the shit with. but they keep asking around, and they have asked someone who does know, but he knows that I don't really have any intention of making any kind of "work announcement," so he's keeping mum. (really, I think he's just trying to set someone up to ask me the awkward question, b/c I've more or less committed to making anyone who asks me feel like shit if they dare ask about the change in my figure- I live for awkward moments.)
I guess what bugs me most about all of this is people who I don't talk to regularly, and who have never cared about my personal life before, suddenly think they're entitled to know about my personal life just b/c I'm pregnant? it feels intrusive.
I did share the news w/ another co-worker this morning, a) to vent to him about the above, and b) b/c he will be my backup during maternity leave, so I'll need to train him soon, anyway. but he had a great idea. he suggested that I send out a mass email w/ my baby registration info.
but it got me thinking, for working moms who've been through this, did you make an official announcement at work? how did you do it? email? a note in a meeting?
My job is fairly relaxed and casual, so all I did was tell my boss early because I was so sick I worried it would affect my performance, then the other employees kind of found out from word of mouth amongst themselves. I did an official announcement online at 10 weeks. The kids I coach learned through word of mouth also (I guess I should've asked the coaches to keep quiet, but once one person knows...).
Are you in a department that will need to know you'll be gone for awhile? You could announce a "leave of absence," kind of jokingly and add your baby registry link at the bottom.
yesterday, my old boss just casually asked me, "so when's the baby due?" and I didn't think that was inappropriate or intrusive. and another manager in another business unit just casually said, "congratulations, you must be excited, blah blah.." I didn't find either of those encounters awkward or inappropriate. but the gossip kinda grinds my gears.
my co-worker & I were just talking now about how even more strange it is b/c most everyone on the shop floor are men. so it's all men talking and speculating. like, when did men care so much about a pregnant woman? do they plan on throwing me a shower?? it's so odd..
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
TW- what complicates it all is that I have had losses at 11, 13 and 26 weeks, so I never really feel “safe” sharing with people outside of my closest family and friends. I have my 14 week appointment tomorrow (And my pgal brain is so triggered), so I might be more open after that. I feel so awkward and I comfortable though.
Regardless, I didn't make a work announcement last time and I won't this time. If people want to gossip and speculate I don't really care, honestly. I didn't tell any coworkers at all until I was far enough along to be comfortable with people knowing, so when I did I told them there was no embargo on the information and some of them probably filled in the blanks for me, which was kind of nice. At a certain point everybody just knew.