Chiming in here to say it really sucks when inlaws have to act like that, its like do you want to be estranged or not? We haven't told my future inlaws yet because my bf literally can't bring himself to stand trial in front of them. It makes me feel so awful that he has to feel like a failure to his own family for something HE wanted. We aren't 15 year olds just being silly. We wanted this baby and planned for this baby. Ugh. Definitely shed a few tears today, they live 4 minutes away and my family who lives out of state will know before them just because they're actually supportive.
@BarefootContessa that is beyond awful. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. I wouldn’t tell her either.
@baya5 My DH has 4 sisters and all but 1 has at least 1 kid. But she only dotes on one grandkid. Which is not even the kid of her favorite kid. She didn’t even wish DD Happy Birthday the year we were unfortunately living with her. She doesn’t like my DH cause he’s a boy but she loves the first boy grandkid. She so awful and manipulative. She hates me cause I won’t bend to her will and throw money at her.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
Thanks All for the support. Ironically, I am married to her favorite child- she does not hide this fact. It's just this weird control thing with her and she believes no one should have more than two children. Because we've always said we want three, she goes to great lengths to show her disdain (obviously). ALSO IRONIC, she, herself, has three children.
@kaleesi93 I’m sorry the in laws probably won’t respond well. We have a similar problem with the wrong side living close with my unhelpful parents living 45 minutes away and my super helpful in laws across the country.
We've told parents, siblings, and 1 girlfriend. I'm waiting until our first ultrasound to tell anyone else, which will probably be in another 3-4 weeks, when I'm 8-10 weeks along.
I don't know when I'll tell work. We have one guy in our office, and is wife is due with their second in December. One woman here is due in March. Everyone's been asking when DH and I planned to start, and I've just kept it quiet.
@wearegroot, thank you for sympathizing, doesn't it just suck? What's going to be the hardest is we're actually moving and not going to be close to them at all, but instead of viewing that as positive, buying our first house etc, everytime it comes up his mother turns full snark mode on about how if I was more responsible her precious son wouldn't have to move away from her. And in reality it's like, lady.... rent outside DC absolutely kills us. Why wouldn't we move to a cheaper area and save money for more important things? But its never looked at like that and somehow I'm always the problem. I actually have no relationship with my birth parents , so at least I'm only dealing with one set of problems for now lol.
@kaleesi93, oh yeah, DC is crazy expensive! I have a lot of family who live/work around there. And if she lives there, she should know that and understand. But asking people to be reasonable often doesn’t work out.
@wearegroot, yesssss it's insane. Also I'm not a government worker with a killer salary, we aren't filthy wealthy, and my bfs parents gave up a lot of what I think is important in life to work jobs they hate so they have tons of money... So their issue with the way my boyfriend and I do things is why are we -purposely- making our lives hard.. the only option is to live like them and stay right outside DC... "you wouldn't need to move to a more reasonable priced area if you tried harder". Like gee thank you for pointing that out, I thought this was my life, not yours. I hate to rant but it makes me so mad. This is the happiest time in my entire life, and we have to dread telling people we should be overjoyed to share the news with... it sucks.
@molecularmolly I am Catholic. DH actually works for the church too, it's nice to have the extra support and community! We've not been successful with timing any of ours. My cycles were all over the place before and after we got married so my oldest was conceived about 4 months after we married. With our second he was planned and it only took one cycle. The last three were "surprise" because I ovulated like one day late. Creighton has worked and not worked. lol. The second you let your guard down with it it comes to bite you. We haven't told family yet but each of us have reached out to a few of our friends from church. I just met with My good friend who has 6 kids tonight to tell her. We spent two hours just talking. It was so life giving for both of us to realize we all share the same struggles.
We told just our very best friends the day we found out. I’m now regretting it bc I told them I was a little too skeptical to ride the jet skis we just bought (this is our first, I’m scared!), and later one of them told me to get like a triple shot at Starbucks and I had to say no - after this one of them had a convo with DH acting so annoyed and asking if I’d be like this the whole time
of course I’ve been extra hormonal so it was days ago, they’ve never been around a pregnant person or babies so it’s a little understandable, but I’m STILL grumpy about it
I've told two close friends, and my previous birth month board mamas. I'm not sure when we will tell family. My mom is very chatty and my MIL made my miscarriage all about her when she found out. But...my first appointment is not until October 2nd, and I'm not sure I will be able to make it that long, gah. I told the same people when I lost my previous pregnancy & it was a nice to have their support. Though, with my first I told everyone as soon as the pee dried.
We've told our parents, siblings, and my best friend, and they're all currently sworn to secrecy. I'm so bad at keeping the news to myself when I'm so excited. We were going to wait until my first prenatal appointment before we told any more people, but that's not going to be until September 26 and there's no way I'll hold out that long. Chances are I'll announce publicly on my birthday next Friday, but I'm still kind of undecided about that.
We've just told my best friend and her husband. Last time I was early pregnancy, my mom told EVERYONE she knew (including people she had just met, and that extends to the time of TTC before I was pregnant. Super awkward). It's been blissful just keeping it to ourselves. We have a few big events coming up though (weddings and group outings), so I'm not terribly sure how to cover the not drinking. I was just thinking of saying I hadn't been feeling great or something but I don't know if that's too obvious. I'm a terrible liar.
We will tell my ILs after our 10-week appointment, they will be in town anyway. Not sure when we will tell my parents, probably around the same time.
Oh, and our dog 100% knows. He has been keeping his little fluffy self at my side at all times. It's funny to see he has this protective reaction when he's already not sure about the Bald Puppy he currently resides with. He used to serve some serious side-eyes when she would cry at night.
DD born PPROM preemie at 36 weeks on 10/1/17 after over a year TI, then 3 failed IUIs, and finally a successful IVF FET.
Due with #2 5/2/19 after HIO once in my FW, because apparently that's how life works now. Team Blue!
@chrissdee, I'm telling my family next weekend and considering it kind of a late birthday thing (my birthday is next Thursday) . Happy early birthday! Mostly because a lot of my siblings are getting together at my parents cabin, so it's a good opportunity. Next time won't be until Thanksgiving, so....
@mrsdee15 my dog always knows too. She gets super attached to me, likes to snuggle and lays her head on my belly. I swear she knows before I even know. She’s been great with our first two.
@kayceebaby1: We've been hiding it by serving shrubs to guests at home, because you can't tell who has gin and who just has soda water. But I did just cave and text my best friend yesterday, because she gave me the shrub book!
@molecularmolly : Catholic NFP party! We used the sympto-thermal method successfully for a total of about 5 years. Everyone I know uses Marquette after they have a baby, because the monitor's so awesome even if it's a little expensive (like $200).
@LeslieCHNC , my best friend (also on NFP) just had a crazy unlikely pregnancy happen to her too, because she ovulated like a week early. It happened to her right as I miscarried, and in the end we both realized we were actually in the same boat, because we were both asking WHY GOD WHY. It sounds like you guys are lucky to have a supportive "village" despite your worries about your in-laws. I LOVE big families, and have found that they are SO generous in helping other people because they've been through everything.
@barefootcontessa & @baya5 : I'm so sorry you guys have these stresses! Hopefully you also have good communities around you who can be as excited as news of a new life deserves.
Ended up telling all my coworkers today. I was so hormonal today and cried for over an hour at work. Going off my meds mixed with pregnancy hormones is NOT a good combo right now. I think people were seriously worried about me. I HATE crying at work. It’s so embarrassing! They all understood once I told them what’s up though
I’ve told a few close friends and obviously my husband. After our ultrasound on 9/10 I might tell my family. And I’m going to get my daughter a shirt that says big sister and have her come out with the ultrasound
I told the ladies from DD2’s BMB and one of Dh’s friends knows but otherwise that’s it. We have talked about waiting to tell everyone once we get to the 2nd trimester. *TW* We had a late first trimester loss last year. We had told our girls, families and friends at about 6 weeks after our first u/s. I liked having our friends and family to support us through the loss, but it was incredibly hard telling our girls who were 7 and 4 at the time, about the m/c. I can’t bear putting them through that again if we had another loss. So we talked about it and while we could tell the family and not them, but I think the family would have a hard time not talking about it around them and it would be easier to tell everyone around the same time. *End TW* I was thinking about announcing at Halloween with a special “pregnant” costume and seeing who figures it out.
Ivy: July 2010 | Stella: Dec 2012 | BFP#3: MMC at 11Wk's, July 2017 | Wyatt: April 2019 | BFP#5: Twin Girls due Sept 2020
@chrissdee, I'm telling my family next weekend and considering it kind of a late birthday thing (my birthday is next Thursday) . Happy early birthday! Mostly because a lot of my siblings are getting together at my parents cabin, so it's a good opportunity. Next time won't be until Thanksgiving, so....
My birthday is also next Thursday! I may be biased but August birthdays are the best. My youngest was born on the 9th.
I told my grandma way earlier than I would prefer because I visited her last weekend and didn't think I could hide the perpetual nausea. I'll make a decision on everyone else after the first ultrasound. I'm not necessarily looking forward to the conversation with my husband's family, my sister-in-law is pregnant and due in January with a baby the family is pretty jazzed/surprised about (mainly because my brother-in-law has never, ever been on the kid train) and I don't want to take the wind out of their sails.
@thurstober, August birthdays definitely rock! Two of my siblings are also August birthdays, and my oldest sister had her first kid on her own birthday. Kinda cool that they share a birthday. Although I'm hoping I don't have this peanut on DS's birthday! (My due date is five days before his birthday.)
@BarefootContessa What an awful woman! I'm so sorry you have to deal with that, and hope you have other friends and family ready to love on you and baby like you deserve!
Both our families are super supportive, but I want to wait until the last possible moment to tell anyone. Lots of opinions started flying with my other pregnancies, and I'm pretty easily annoyed when it sounds like someone is trying to tell me what to do Ideally, I'd like to wait til Thanksgiving when we're all together, but I don't know if it'll be that easy to hide since this is number 3.
E (34) + A (35) m. 2009 DS2014, DD2016, #3 EDD 4.27.19
My DH, best friend and brother know. It was my best friends idea that I take the test so she was right there when I found out. As for everyone else I’m gonna try and keep it just for as long as I can
We told our parents and sisters. And I drew this picture and handed it to my in laws. Had to Facebook it to my family as they are in another state. Normally we would have waited until after the first ultrasound and then shared. But we were on vacation with the in laws when we found out and yelling in person felt better.
I made these tonight. I’m also going to make a sign that says “We’re adding another Blueberry to our patch” We’ll probably tell the kids and take pictures on Sunday. But I think I’ll wait a week or two to announce to the rest of the family. Next week is the first week of Kindergarten and then it’s Labor Day weekend so we’re pretty busy
I came so close to tell my MIL tonight. She was talking about coming to stay for a couple days in March and I wanted to say “You May want to stay for a bit longer”. And then she talked about coming to help me when DH is out of town but I don’t want her to spend the money to fly out here because she’s going to need it come April.
If we can wait, we’re hoping to tell her on her birthday (9/22). She’s had a lot of bad things happen on her birthday (best friend in a car accident, parents getting divorced, mom passed away) so it would be nice to give her something good on her birthday for a change.
Yeah I was supposed to be with my mom this weekend and tell her, but plans fell through. So my in-laws are throwing me a birthday cookout type thing. Guess they get to find out tonight because it will be obvious when I'm not drinking for my birthday.
@thrillsmomma, my DH asked if he could tell his father today since he was coming down to visit, and I said sure, makes sense to tell him in person even though we aren't telling my family until next week... well, my FIL made a comment today about tearing up yesterday when DH told him. When confronted, DH admits he accidentally let it slip on the phone yesterday and was hoping to cover for it . Face palm, lol.
Even though we both agreed to wait as long as possible to tell people, DH has been chomping at the bit, so he told one of his best friends tonight. So as we’re sitting on the couch this evening I was trying to say “I’m excited to start telling people.” But what came out of my mouth was “I’m excited to shart...[pause for a moment, realize what I said, realize that pausing made it even worse, DH and I burst into laughter for about 10 minutes]
Yeah, he’s not gonna let me live that one down for a while.
My husband and I are wanting to wait a while to tell everyone because we just had a friend announce her pregnancy last month, and it ended up being a chemical pregnancy. I do plan on telling my mom tomorrow when she comes to visit, though. And a couple of our close friends will find out sooner than later, because I'm not one to pass up a glass of wine, lol!
Well, our immediate families know. My IL's had fajitas and margs on Friday night and if I didn't drink, my SIL would know right away. We were happy to tell them because if anything happened again, we would tell them anyways. Most of the people I work with know and/or have guessed. Clearly I'm not showing but I have a tummy anyways and with the bloat, it's gotten a little more pronounced. I'm waiting to tell HR until I'm in 2nd tri.
We haven't told anyone yet, I'm 5w1d. (Well, that's not entirely true. I told my hairdresser lol) I have an appointment in 2 weeks and we'll probably tell immediate family and close friends after the appointment. That's as far ahead as I've thought at this point. I'm not sure when I'll tell work, but I also work with my mom and my cousin so I'm not sure it'll stay under wraps for long.
@kangstadt I guess it could be argued they are just so excited it slips out. That's funny he tried to cover for it! I also like to tell in person, but beyond that I want to be part of the telling! Hello, I'm the one growing the baby! I get to help tell people.
Re: Have any of you told everyone about being pregnant? And if not how do you plan to?
DD #1 born 6/12/14
DD #2 born 10/31/16
We haven't told my future inlaws yet because my bf literally can't bring himself to stand trial in front of them. It makes me feel so awful that he has to feel like a failure to his own family for something HE wanted. We aren't 15 year olds just being silly. We wanted this baby and planned for this baby. Ugh. Definitely shed a few tears today, they live 4 minutes away and my family who lives out of state will know before them just because they're actually supportive.
@baya5 My DH has 4 sisters and all but 1 has at least 1 kid. But she only dotes on one grandkid. Which is not even the kid of her favorite kid. She didn’t even wish DD Happy Birthday the year we were unfortunately living with her. She doesn’t like my DH cause he’s a boy but she loves the first boy grandkid. She so awful and manipulative. She hates me cause I won’t bend to her will and throw money at her.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
DS-9/2012
DD-7/2015
I don't know when I'll tell work. We have one guy in our office, and is wife is due with their second in December. One woman here is due in March. Everyone's been asking when DH and I planned to start, and I've just kept it quiet.
And in reality it's like, lady.... rent outside DC absolutely kills us. Why wouldn't we move to a cheaper area and save money for more important things? But its never looked at like that and somehow I'm always the problem.
I actually have no relationship with my birth parents , so at least I'm only dealing with one set of problems for now lol.
So their issue with the way my boyfriend and I do things is why are we -purposely- making our lives hard.. the only option is to live like them and stay right outside DC... "you wouldn't need to move to a more reasonable priced area if you tried harder".
Like gee thank you for pointing that out, I thought this was my life, not yours.
I hate to rant but it makes me so mad. This is the happiest time in my entire life, and we have to dread telling people we should be overjoyed to share the news with... it sucks.
We haven't told family yet but each of us have reached out to a few of our friends from church. I just met with My good friend who has 6 kids tonight to tell her. We spent two hours just talking. It was so life giving for both of us to realize we all share the same struggles.
of course I’ve been extra hormonal so it was days ago, they’ve never been around a pregnant person or babies so it’s a little understandable, but I’m STILL grumpy about it
We will tell my ILs after our 10-week appointment, they will be in town anyway. Not sure when we will tell my parents, probably around the same time.
Oh, and our dog 100% knows. He has been keeping his little fluffy self at my side at all times. It's funny to see he has this protective reaction when he's already not sure about the Bald Puppy he currently resides with. He used to serve some serious side-eyes when she would cry at night.
then 3 failed IUIs, and finally a successful IVF FET.
Due with #2 5/2/19 after HIO once in my FW,
because apparently that's how life works now. Team Blue!
@molecularmolly : Catholic NFP party! We used the sympto-thermal method successfully for a total of about 5 years. Everyone I know uses Marquette after they have a baby, because the monitor's so awesome even if it's a little expensive (like $200).
@LeslieCHNC , my best friend (also on NFP) just had a crazy unlikely pregnancy happen to her too, because she ovulated like a week early. It happened to her right as I miscarried, and in the end we both realized we were actually in the same boat, because we were both asking WHY GOD WHY.
@barefootcontessa & @baya5 : I'm so sorry you guys have these stresses! Hopefully you also have good communities around you who can be as excited as news of a new life deserves.
*TW* We had a late first trimester loss last year. We had told our girls, families and friends at about 6 weeks after our first u/s. I liked having our friends and family to support us through the loss, but it was incredibly hard telling our girls who were 7 and 4 at the time, about the m/c. I can’t bear putting them through that again if we had another loss. So we talked about it and while we could tell the family and not them, but I think the family would have a hard time not talking about it around them and it would be easier to tell everyone around the same time. *End TW*
I was thinking about announcing at Halloween with a special “pregnant” costume and seeing who figures it out.
I told my grandma way earlier than I would prefer because I visited her last weekend and didn't think I could hide the perpetual nausea. I'll make a decision on everyone else after the first ultrasound. I'm not necessarily looking forward to the conversation with my husband's family, my sister-in-law is pregnant and due in January with a baby the family is pretty jazzed/surprised about (mainly because my brother-in-law has never, ever been on the kid train) and I don't want to take the wind out of their sails.
Both our families are super supportive, but I want to wait until the last possible moment to tell anyone. Lots of opinions started flying with my other pregnancies, and I'm pretty easily annoyed when it sounds like someone is trying to tell me what to do
DS2014, DD2016, #3 EDD 4.27.19
If we can wait, we’re hoping to tell her on her birthday (9/22). She’s had a lot of bad things happen on her birthday (best friend in a car accident, parents getting divorced, mom passed away) so it would be nice to give her something good on her birthday for a change.
Apart from that, the plan was to wait AT LEAST until after our ultrasound this Thursday. However.....
DH is out with the guys and just text me "May need to start telling people soon, kinda slipped out of my mouth with the guys."
So apparently I need to tell everyone tomorrow so they don't hear it from "the guys".
Oh boy.
Yeah, he’s not gonna let me live that one down for a while.