@zande2016 we are 3 wks our and LO has a small scab still and pedi said he can take a full bath now (he’s had two because he likes to pee on himself). It’s been slowly coming off.
I still check in on DS (27 months) every night. Mainly to check if he’s hot or cold because he won’t cover himself up if he’s cold. I still listen in for his breathing since he tends to have a lot of congestion.
I check baby's breathing too, but once she moves to the crib later I won't be checking unless I'm already up.
Thanks about the skin issue I posted about earlier. I have been reassured by the doctor and a pharmacist that it's not a concern and if anything they may be small warts and are easily covered with a bandaid ban treated if needed. I feel better knowing this.
+1 for checking DS's breathing. Until we got the monitor in there just recently I went in every single night to make sure he was breathing fine. Now his door makes noise and he wakes too easily so sometimes I have to actively fight the urge to go in and check on him because I know it will actually wake him up and then screw with my night.
@kissableviv do you think if you guys have another you'll invite your mom to stay as long? I told DH when DS was born that I didn't want anyone in the house helping because I thought I'd be super annoyed with help and advice. I let my dad and bro come at 2 weeks but made them all stay in a hotel and they entertained each other basically. This time around I still feel like I don't want anyone around to help and I told my dad he wasn't allowed to come til October because he's no help and cannot drive due to his DUI so he'd be in the house 24/7 or I'd have to shuttle him.
Where do you all out baby when they nap? We haven’t had LO our of our eyesight during daytime naps...she’s either in our arms, in a swing or a lounger on the couch with us. Night time she goes in her bassinet in our room, but I haven’t thought to put her there during the day time naps.
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
@rachelsogo I put him in the bassinet when he is deeply sleeping, can't explain it but sometimes I can tell when he's just going to nap for 20/30 minutes lol then swaddling and bassinet is just not worth it. But yes normally he is in the stroller bassinet, the lounging pillow (similar to Dockatot) or in his usual bassinet, I just put the monitor up if he's upstairs and I check on him a few times.
@SmashJam while I do get annoyed sometimes, I can't imagine how different things would have been without my mom! She cooks and cleans and brings us coffee in bed, and has been buying lots of food too. Plus she lives out of the country so I see her once a year and I really wanted her to have some time with her first grandchild. I'll say if we have another I may arrange childcare with my in laws instead and have my mom come a little but later like at 3-4 weeks or just have her stay not in our house from the get go. As i said there are advantages to that but 5 weeks in our place is a bit much - we just didn't have a choice this time because I did not want to have her be by herself in a bnb/pay for accommodation for one person and my stepdad could not come until August (he'll be here in 10 days).
@rachelsogo if no ones holding him we do the rock n play in the living room and I keep a close eye on him, or I’ll wear him in the k’tan so I can multi task. Sometimes he naps in the dock a tot but I have to be there next to it the whole time because of the dog and toddler. If we’re up in the playroom we have the swing but he hasn’t napped in there yet. I’ve never had him nap in the bassinet, mostly because I am still trying to get him to figure out day vs night so I keep him in bright loud environments for naps during the day. Eventually When he’s on a schedule I’ll bring him up to his crib for naps but that probably won’t be for a couple months.
I want to thank you all for the reading material since I legit cannot sleep haha. and the laughs with some of these posts, love it. Congrats to all the moms over the weekend and all the moms juggling multiple kids. I cant wven imagine taking care of one let alone 2, 3 and 4 kids, you go mamas!
So my mom/sister/brother etc live in CT (I live in NH) and they usually stay with us when they come to visit. Now this will be great for the 2 days we are in the hospital with LO recovering bc they can feed our cats, do laundry etc but idk how long they expect to stay. Idk if I am going to want to just be a family of 3 and enjoy bonding time or if I am going to want them all here.
I figure I wont know until she comes, but any suggestions? I know a bunch of you have mentioned your moms helping out- any of them stay with you since LO was born and for how long?
@babygagnon2018 For some reason I’m having an aversion to my parents since having LO. I would hate if if any of them stayed for a significant amount of time. They all live within 20 mins of us so we see them all the time and they get on my nerves.
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
@babygagnon2018 every family is different but I will say I'm grateful for my mom's help. DH and I have definitely had our space and she has been pretty respectful of letting us bond. If I could, I would have had her not stay with us just because we have a smallish place, however she doesn't speak English and doesn't drive here (I'm from italy) so it was way easier this way for us. She'll move to a bnb in a week when my stepdad joins us.
ETA: as an FTM I was terrified of the lack of sleep and the mayhem so that's why I'm glad I had help( although it hasn't been as bad as I thought)
@babygagnon2018 I wanted no help out of the hospital. I told DH when we had DS that his mom could not come help at our house for at least a few weeks bc I would feel weird having someone run around me doing what I'm "supposed" to be doing. She only lives 45 min away. My dad, who is not helpful, is not coming till October, but mostly bc he can't drive due to a DUI so wed be stuck shuttling him or he would be here constantly.
When DH went back to work he immediately got a nasty cold and we all got it. The babies are still so stuffy! It sucks. I’ve been so worried about them getting ear infections but yesterday noticed my poor dog actually has one! We’re going to the vet today. Such weird timing. We moved three months ago and have had a terrible time with planning outdoor work, lots has gone wrong. We now have sod and a deck though and DH was able to schedule our fence so we will have one in like 9 weeks! So excited
I'm like @rachelsogo when I say my parents are close but get on my nerves lol. My mom tries to call everyday or come visit every other day (some may remember my BF over this) yet she doesnt help at all. She doesn't care if it's time for me to feed she will literally ask me to wait so she can hold DD... not happening. FIL is the only one actually helpful as he will come and do the yard work and throw my trash often. My SIL will often text asking if I need help with anything but I hate when people ask me that because 1. When your exhausted in the early days only nursing etc. You have no idea what you need other than sleep and probably a shower. 2. I always feel like people should just take initiative and do what they found helpful when they had their babies instead of asking. 3. I am so not one to ask for help, so with me you just have to say this is what I'm gonna do. And the company my husband worked for prior to leaving for training for a new job, the guys he worked with have done a great job with checking in on me or coming and picking up DS to play with their kids.
All that to say @babygagnon2018 it depends what you are comfortable with and dont feel bad for changing your mind after baby arrives. If it's your first it's so hard to know the adjustment coming as well as how you will feel with it all. So many people tend to focus on the new baby that they forget that mom is recovering too, so if your family comes in and you start to feel overwhelmed then ask for a break, or let them know what you need and dont feel bad for asking.
I was in such a bad mindset when I woke up this morning. Like, oh, another day of being in pain and having fake contractions and not going into labor YAY. I didn't get out of bed until 6:15. But when I showered I tried to take a minute to think about what my intentions were going into the last few weeks of pregnancy and trying to speed things along: Originally, I was just trying to dilate so I would have a better chance of going on my own, not going early. I'm not even at my due date and expecting to go early when I have never even gone on my own is silly. Also making it to Saturday night means I get to eat at a favorite restaurant and I'd get a full paycheck from the library, both awesome things. I just gotta keep reminding myself of these things!
@SmashJam same here. I've thought I was in labor at least 3 times. Today I'm 40w3d and trying not to stop moving so I can keep these contractions going. I'm more worried of it suddenly stopping than I am of actual labor. Lol. Good luck to you, hopefully things start moving. I know how you feel.
Re:help I agree that everyone is different, personally both my mom and ILs were super attentive with me as well as LO and they knew I was recovering, so they did a lot of the heavy lifting. Having our bed made everyday, the trash taken out, food ready whenever we were able to eat and no dishes was pretty great! @SmashJam that's a great mindset to have!
@babygagnon2018 my mom and stepdad came to visit and help out and stayed at our house. They live across the country from us so we don’t get to see them often. They were here for a week and generally I enjoyed having them here! Since we only get to see them once a year usually, I felt like I needed to do all the fun things with them instead of just taking it easy, but it was nice to have extra hands for not only the baby but the big kids too!
Apparently according to Facebook today is international self care day. What is everyone doing for self care today? I for one fully intend to take a 10 minute shower when my H gets home From work. I may even brush my teeth! Haha.
@zande2016 i think i also saw its national tequila day... maybe combine the two? Lol i actually got to shower this morning before 10 am and wearing my new skirt. I feel accomplished!
@zande2016 lol love this! I took a shower yesterday so might have to pass on that today. going to my moms today with LO and at this point just getting out of the house some is self care for me. They have an amazing backyard and I plan to go sit by the pool and enjoy some part of this summer.
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
Hmm I do have some jalapeño tequila in the freezer. I also have two bottles of wine people brought us. Maybe I’ll have a glass of wine between feedings later, if my heartburn cooperates (Sorry to anyone still suffering from pregnancy induced heartburn but apparently it doesn’t always go away postpartum).
LO is sleeping sideways on me and I cannot move. I guess no shower or leaving to go mail a letter until later! Have to go to the post office because it is a heavier envelope with my disability docs
Soooo for those yesterday (I think? Lack of sleep = time blurring together) who joked about my toddler drinking breast milk since we ran out of milk....I had my hakaa on the coffee table with some milk in it, and I wasn’t paying attention and then looked over to see my toddler had taken the top off and was happily drinking the milk out of it. He seemed to really enjoy it
Late to the conversation, but I had no help on my first and reaaaallllly wish I would have had it. She was not a great sleeper, I developed "mommy thumb", which was awful. I hated motherhood at first and I think I had PPD.
This time it's totally different. My mom has been over every day (except today, this is my first day without her), my husband has been helping watch our toddler, and Cecilia is a much better sleeper so far. I don't have that PPD fog. This time has been great, so far! Keep in mind I am only a week in, but the difference is huge! My mom also is not very invasive. It probably helps that this is my 2nd though, if it were my first I could see her being a lot more opinionated.
Annnnd for a random AW moment, here is a side by side of my oldest and Cecilia in their coming home outfits
Thank you @kissableviv I totally feel you on having a tiny little guy!
@zande2016 I got to take a shower and do a hair mask that I ordered from Sephora. It was splendid! Lol. My dh went back to work full time yesterday but we are lucky to have family close by. My dad brought me lunch and watched the baby while I got to shower.
Hey ladies. I'll catch up when i can but wanted to stop by to ask for your thoughts and prayers. I delivered by general anesthesia c section at 1130 this morning. Baby boy (still not named) has been in the nicu since for fast shallow breathing. I've been doing pretty rough myself with minor complication but major issues with the pain killers and vomiting so i haven't seen him yet besides pictures from my husband. My goal is to get over there in the next hour. My mil is going to stay with dd and doggy at our house and dh stay with me tonight but is doing bedtime and school routines since mil dosen't know how to use a car seat or where school is. The reports from nicu seem positive or confident but I'll feel better when i see him. DH was able to touch his feet and sing to him and get a mini smile.
Thank you ladies for your continued support these last months.
@gingerbride26 I’m so sorry to hear your little guy had to go into the NICU and that your recovery has been rough. I will be thinking of you guys and sending positive thoughts for healing for you both!
Definitely sending healing thoughts your way @gingerbride26. *hugs*
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
@gingerbride26 I’m so sorry your little one is stuck in the NICU and you’re having a rough recovery! Congratulations and I hope you’re both doing better soon!
Re: Weekday Randoms 7/23 - 7/27
I still check in on DS (27 months) every night. Mainly to check if he’s hot or cold because he won’t cover himself up if he’s cold. I still listen in for his breathing since he tends to have a lot of congestion.
Thanks about the skin issue I posted about earlier. I have been reassured by the doctor and a pharmacist that it's not a concern and if anything they may be small warts and are easily covered with a bandaid ban treated if needed. I feel better knowing this.
@kissableviv do you think if you guys have another you'll invite your mom to stay as long? I told DH when DS was born that I didn't want anyone in the house helping because I thought I'd be super annoyed with help and advice. I let my dad and bro come at 2 weeks but made them all stay in a hotel and they entertained each other basically. This time around I still feel like I don't want anyone around to help and I told my dad he wasn't allowed to come til October because he's no help and cannot drive due to his DUI so he'd be in the house 24/7 or I'd have to shuttle him.
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
I'll say if we have another I may arrange childcare with my in laws instead and have my mom come a little but later like at 3-4 weeks or just have her stay not in our house from the get go. As i said there are advantages to that but 5 weeks in our place is a bit much - we just didn't have a choice this time because I did not want to have her be by herself in a bnb/pay for accommodation for one person and my stepdad could not come until August (he'll be here in 10 days).
Congrats to all the moms over the weekend and all the moms juggling multiple kids. I cant wven imagine taking care of one let alone 2, 3 and 4 kids, you go mamas!
So my mom/sister/brother etc live in CT (I live in NH) and they usually stay with us when they come to visit. Now this will be great for the 2 days we are in the hospital with LO recovering bc they can feed our cats, do laundry etc but idk how long they expect to stay.
Idk if I am going to want to just be a family of 3 and enjoy bonding time or if I am going to want them all here.
I figure I wont know until she comes, but any suggestions? I know a bunch of you have mentioned your moms helping out- any of them stay with you since LO was born and for how long?
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
ETA: as an FTM I was terrified of the lack of sleep and the mayhem so that's why I'm glad I had help( although it hasn't been as bad as I thought)
And the company my husband worked for prior to leaving for training for a new job, the guys he worked with have done a great job with checking in on me or coming and picking up DS to play with their kids.
All that to say @babygagnon2018 it depends what you are comfortable with and dont feel bad for changing your mind after baby arrives. If it's your first it's so hard to know the adjustment coming as well as how you will feel with it all. So many people tend to focus on the new baby that they forget that mom is recovering too, so if your family comes in and you start to feel overwhelmed then ask for a break, or let them know what you need and dont feel bad for asking.
Also making it to Saturday night means I get to eat at a favorite restaurant and I'd get a full paycheck from the library, both awesome things. I just gotta keep reminding myself of these things!
@SmashJam that's a great mindset to have!
home From work. I may even brush my teeth! Haha.
@SmashJam I’m glad you’re in a good mindset!
oh how i miss tequila!
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
This time it's totally different. My mom has been over every day (except today, this is my first day without her), my husband has been helping watch our toddler, and Cecilia is a much better sleeper so far. I don't have that PPD fog. This time has been great, so far! Keep in mind I am only a week in, but the difference is huge! My mom also is not very invasive. It probably helps that this is my 2nd though, if it were my first I could see her being a lot more opinionated.
Annnnd for a random AW moment, here is a side by side of my oldest and Cecilia in their coming home outfits
@zande2016 I got to take a shower and do a hair mask that I ordered from Sephora. It was splendid! Lol. My dh went back to work full time yesterday but we are lucky to have family close by. My dad brought me lunch and watched the baby while I got to shower.
Thank you ladies for your continued support these last months.
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.