Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Genetic Testing Results Thread
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
@Katzalia thank you!
Sorry for the double (or quadruple) posts. For some reason, I missed a bunch of your responses earlier, and I don't want to seem like I'm ignoring anyone because your support has been incredible and much needed!
hello all,
I just got a call from my doctor that me AFP came back high risk for spinal bifida. I was at my specialist on Friday for ultrasounds and she said everything looked fine, blood test was done on Saturday. My ob is not worried since the specialist didn't see anything but that's not sitting easy for me so I am hoping I can see or talk to her tomorrow (office closed today) about the ultrasound. Its going to be a long night for sure!
Unless something comes up during the anatomy scan, we're all done with genetic testing. If sh!t hits the fan on LO's birthday, we have a level III NICU in town (but not in the hospital I'll be planning my delivery).
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
@babyluv1234 I really hope it's nothing. Did they give you any numbers? Sometimes what they consider "high" is still lower than 1%. If they didn't see anything during the ultrasound I would try not to worry too much. I know it's easier said than done, but try. And waiting to see the doctor and get answers will seem like forever. No sugar coating that. Try to relax if possible.
At risk of sounding dumb, what is AFP? Obviously it is a genetic test but what does it stand for?
On a personal note, at my blood draw today for part 2 of my sequential screen, my nurse reviewed the results of part 1. Low risk for trisomy 18 and 21! But she said those numbers aren't "final" until part 2 results come back. Part 2 tests for spina bifida and trisomy 13 in addition to retesting for 18 and 21. Hopefully all will come back low risk. Now, WAITING. 7-10 business days is so long.
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
I haven't cried like that in a long time. So stressful and frustrating.
I am so sorry you are having a tough time. Sounds like you need to fill your days with hobbies/movies until your next round of tests. Stressing out isn't going to make it better, but maybe filling your days with other things will distract you enough..
@scaredunprepared yay for DH not being a carrier!! Sorry, I just opened this thread for the first time in a while, so belated congrats!!
DS2 due 12/12/18
@CecilB93 thank you so much!
Here is the trippy news: my NIPT told us we were having a boy back at 11wks. This ultrasound clearly showed us that we are having a GIRL!! We decided to proceed with the amnio to test for the chromosomes to see if the baby is chromosomally male but anatomically female.
They said likely the first blood test was wrong but small chance of discordant gender. So crazy.
As for the NIPT, could it be that early on you had 2 sacs and one didn’t develop and then disappeared?
I had two sacs at the 5 weeks scan. It was obvious that one has not developed. Then at 9w I had only one sac, the other one disappeared.
They said I can’t do the NIPT because my blood might still have DNA from the first sac. So they won’t be able to tell what belongs to disappearing sac and what belongs to the one that remained.
As for amnio, not sure if you had one in the past or not. I had one done 2 weeks ago. And it was really not a big deal. Didn’t hurt at all. I just tried to focus on my breathing when they performed the procedure. After that I was a couch potato for 2 days. 1 day would have probably been enough. But the second day was the 4th of July. So I figured I’d just continue to rest.
Hysteroscopy: 2013
IUI #1-2: 2013 BFN
Surgery 10/2015: Planned to start trying again but had a surgery. (Not related to fertility)
Surgery 5/2016: Planned to start trying again but had another surgery. (Not related to fertility)
IUI #3-5 (with Clomid): summer 2016 BFN
IVF #1: 11/2016. 30R; 21M; 20F; 8B (6 day5 & 2 day6); 4 normal after PGS
Medicated FET #1: 1/31/2017 transferred 1 embryo 3AA. BFP. Embryo stopped growing at 6w 1d. MUA at 9w 3d.
Medicated FET #2: June 2017 - cancelled...
Hysteroscopy #2: June 2017
Medicated FET #2: 8/7/2017 transferred 1 embryo 5BB. BFP. Ended in CP.
Medicated FET #3: 10/11/2017 transferred 1 embryo 3AA. BFN
ERA: December 2017 - need an extra 12 hours of PIO
Medicated FET #4: 1/24/2018 transferred 1 embryo 4AA. BFN
Out of embryos. :'(
IVF #2: 03/2018.
Hey. So I thought about that and I had an early ultrasound due to bleeding (around 5wks and 6wks), there was only 1 sac. But the maternal fetal medicine doctor said that my fetal fraction was so low they should have re-drawn me and should have never reported on that. It irritates me that they just gave me the results all willy nilly like that. So most likely the blood test is inaccurate. She said we all have some parts in our bodies that can express XY even if we are XX and that can be picked up sometimes. I did the amnio on Tuesday, i hated it but I was also extremely emotional and I was having braxton hicks that were causing extra cramping/tightening. I just talked to the genetic counselor and since i already did the amnio they are going to send it out for SMA testing anyways. At least i'll be able to tell her later in life if she is a carrier or not before she conceives *hopefully.
Thanks to everyone for listening.
Best wishes to anyone also going through all of this very stressful testing.
I've been very careful out in public at stores to avoid seeing a lot of ppl who don't know ha! I am showing pretty good.