Babyshower Thread - Page 4 — The Bump
October 2018 Moms

Babyshower Thread


Re: Babyshower Thread

  • @halfanewt I would say to get her the store names of where you registered by the time she wants to make/order invitations. Even if you are only partly done now (or just starting) but you know the stores you're making registries at, you're good. That way she can add "Registered at Amazon and Buy Buy Baby" to the invites whenever she makes them and then you have until they are sent out to finalize the items on it. 

    Me: 33 DH: 31
    Location: Castle Rock, CO
    DD: 10.13.18
    baby #2 due: 7.14.20

  • @sarahzett good luck tomorrow! Hopefully she understands. Good idea with the store names, too. That feels like way less pressure than having a completed registry! 

    @mamabearcj good point. It’s nice that it doesn’t have to be finalized when she gets it. The options for items are seriously overwhelming! 
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  • So I am a little late to the party on this one. I am a FTM and not sure if anyone is really planning on throwing a shower. I have talked with my momma about it now a couple of times and she thinks that it is best to have one after baby is born. My fear is that having a late October due date we are in full swing of flu season by then ( live in northern Canada). 

    What are other peoples thoughts on having a shower after baby is born? From reading all the posts I see most people are planning to have the shower is September. Help!!
  • Plenty of people have sip and see's after baby is born, have people wash their hands and ask if they have any cold or flu symptoms to not come. I can see the concern for sure though and would explain that to your mom if she plans on hosting one for you. Also explain that if you have the shower before you'll have time to go through gifts and finish setting everything up that may require assembly before baby comes(:
  • edited May 2018

    My mom and my brother’s girlfriend are hosting a Sip and See in late December for me and Blast.  Same concern with it being flu season.  I am planning to go ahead and go with it.  

    However, this is a very personal decision.  Part of the thing for me is that roughly a week later, Blast will be going to daycare full time, where xer exposure to all the germs will be far higher than the 15 or so ladies attending the Sip and See will cause. 

    (Note- I am due at the very beginning of October, and planning to return to work first business day in January if Blast arrives on time.  Sip and See is planned for the Saturday after Christmas.)
  • @jandmnumber1 in lots of parts of Canada it’s more common to do the shower after baby is born. Mine was, and all my friends/cousins as well. At work we throw a FTM shower for coworkers and that’s always after baby as well. 
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  • @mamabearcj @knottieamusements @jennybean80

    thank you! I will let go of my control issues and let them plan the party for whenever they like. It’s my moms first grand baby so she is pretty excited to be able to show baby off, so I will let her do whatever she wants. 
  • @jandmnumber1 - Keep some of those control issues in place!

    Part of the reason for the timing of the Sip and See for me and Blast was I put my foot down on traveling at inconvenient times.  My parents live 6hrs away, and I wasn’t willing to take a day off work close to my due date to drive there, do the party, and drive back.  I also wasn’t willing to do the same in the first few weeks after the birth.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed for good weather.  :D 
  • l_hazl_haz member
    My friends are really excited for my shower, and said they would help, but no one offered to host. I wouldnt take offense, its stressful and a lot of work. Im gonna throw it at my house and that way I get to do it to my liking. 
  • Just found out my closest friend officially can’t make it bc she has a wedding out of town that weekend. Knew this would happen with my mom arbitrarily picking a date that worked for her. Trying to still be happy and grateful but since I don’t have a big friend group, it’s definitely a blow that hurts right now. I can’t imagine her not being there and am getting in the downward spin that no one is gonna come. First world problems, but I’m sad.
  • @chopchop25 I’m sorry this happened to you! I don’t think it was fair of your Mom to pick a date without your consent.
  • chyviechyvie member
    What would be the best wording to include on my Evite that hand-me-downs are welcomed and appreciated! Then to also put my new stuff registry? DH has a lot of friends with older kids. 
    Me 33 DH 41
    TTC since 2016
    Due: October 12, 2018
    Location: Ontario, Canada

  • @chopchop25 Im sorry your friend wont be there! My BFF lives out of state now and was not able to travel twice (once for the shower and then again after baby was born).  I was sad she wasn't there but I was happier she got to meet my daughter sooner than after she was a year old.  Maybe you guys can have a special friend date to celebrate your shower?

    Is it too late to change the date? I know it wouldn't be the best idea but I have had a close friend change their date after invites were sent out and everyone seemed ok with it.  Also for my sisters shower we sent out invites saying it was a girl but later found out she was really having a boy so I had to text/call everyone to update them on that change :D

  • My BFF said she wants to throw us a “shower.” I know etiquette says otherwise and I was/am fine without one, but she wants to do it since we’re having twins. It’s super sweet of her and we won’t be putting any registry info on the invite, so hopefully it’ll just be a celebration of the babies. My SM is all in an uproar about it though saying we shouldn’t have a meal, only finger foods (my friend wanted to do a taco bar), and that we shouldn’t invite that many people (for DD we had 50+ people, I named 15 this time and it was mostly grandparents and aunts). She’s probably going to make it a headache, and I don’t have the patience to deal with it.
  • After not saying anything for a long time, my mom finally asked if she could have a shower for me when we visit in August. I said of course, gave her the likely date of our trip, and next thing I knew, she told me that her good friend had volunteered to host it at her house. It's really nice of her to offer of course, but it's way out in the suburbs, and I'm feeling bummed that one of our few days at home is going to be spent so far away from the city that I love and miss so much. And of course I'm feeling super guilty for being ungrateful. 
  • @chyvie I wouldn’t include hand me down stuff with your evite. If your on social
    media, maybe a general post. If your not I think it’s okay to say to friends, hey keep
    me in mind if you’re cleaning out you kids closets this summer. Personally, I’ve found that people are great about offering hand me downs. 
  • @melbo444 - I completely understand feeling that way.  I have a round of visits I always try to make when I go to visit my parents for a week. One of my friends always makes it super hard to plan a date because she wants me to give her more time than I am able to and still do the other things I want to do on my trip; I always resent her a little bit for it.  It doesn’t mean I don’t visit her, but I do often wish she would consider what I want a little more.
  • @chyvie we are including hand me downs and second hand items welcomed in the same paragraph where we put our registry link. 
  • @krzyriver That was my thoughts exactly! We have everything from Bean, but we are going to need a double of some things. Not to mention if people want to buy us diapers, I will take all the dipes we can get!
  • @missmaehurt I am not anti-etiquette and think it’s fine to have a second shower for twins, especially since somebody offered to throw one with twins being the reason. A lot of people don’t think about this until it’s pointed out to them, but having twins is more expensive than having 2 children close in age. You can’t pass down a lot of stuff because they both need it at the same time.  I’d say definitely do a registry for it because you likely have stuff you can reuse, but will need a second one for the second baby (car seats, high chairs, cribs, etc.). Even if you don’t put that info in the invitations, have it ready for people that ask.  And I agree - ignore the party pooper. She isn’t hosting so she doesn’t get to decide what happens at it.
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  • @chyvie keep it simple 
    "Hand me downs welcome and appreciated" 
    On the bottom of your invite some where 
  • So originally I wanted a book themed shower, however my mom is planning a woodland themed one. I don't mind at all, since that's the nursery theme, but I'm a little sad. My mom has already gone to town on cute decorations and I found a gorgeous cake idea to send to our designer.
  • Okay, another etiquette question. When making an invite list, should I be including out of town friends/relatives? Realistically, I doubt they'll come to it but I feel like they would appreciate the invite/thought. That being said, I don't want it to read as gift-grabby...
  • @halfanewt JMO but I would only include out of town people if they're very close to you. My mom did this just for our nearest and dearest who would want to feel included/involved.
  • krzyriverkrzyriver member
    edited June 2018
    @halfanewt My cousin insisted on sending me an invite to his wife's shower even though he lives in New Mexico and I live in Michigan. I appreciated being thought of and didn't feel the need to send anything because of the invitation (although I did plan to send something because family, but I forgot! :# ). His sister did not send me an invite to her baby shower and I didn't notice (and ironically, I did remember to send her gift :lol: ).

    E will be 18 on July 24th
    Z was born October 16, 2016
    #3 Due October 9, 2018

    MC - November 29, 2012
    CP - November 15, 2014
    D&C for MMC - October 13, 2015

  • pajamagramspajamagrams member
    edited June 2018
    @halfanewt I included my one of my best friends who I know won't be able to make it because she lives across the country...I'm also invited/supposed to be a BM in her wedding which I'm can't attend because it's one month after my EDD.  My mom told me I also need to include my dad's family who lives across the country as well because they like to be involved, but I know won't attend. Plus, my aunt/cousin were asking for the registry anyway. I also included my best friends' moms as well, since the shower is in our home town, and they were also invited to my wedding. So yes, I would say include them.
  • I’m only including 3 out of town people in my invites.  

    I am friends with a couple that live about 6 hours away who became friends specifically because they are interested in being active in the St. Louis community.  While I don’t know that they would be hurt if they were excluded, I know that they will be delighted to be included- regardless of whether they are able to attend

    Also, my best friend from college specifically asked to be invited.  She lives in Arizona, so it is a hike that she may or may not be able to make.  However, she is absolutely welcome.  

    Otherwise- nah.  If the people who are hosting want to add someone to the invite list, I’m not worried. To me, that is part of their prerogative as host.  
  • Thanks, ladies! My friend is hosting and said “whoever I want” - trying to balance not leaving people out with not inviting unnecessarily! 
  • edited June 2018
    @halfanewt I felt the same way about wanting to be inclusive without seeming gift grabby.

    All my aunts, cousins and a lot of my friends live back east while my husband and I live in CO (along with my parents, brother and in laws). My mom was miffed when my cousin on the east coast didn’t send her an invite to her shower a few years ago. She felt excluded and said she would have sent a gift with one of her sisters if she knew about it. She was adamant we invite people from the east coast to my shower even though I thought it was a little silly and unlikely they would come. One of my aunts is actually coming and turning it into a vaca for a week. I’m excited to see her. 

    So I guess i’d say to invite anyone you would want there if distance wasn’t an issue!

    Me: 33 DH: 31
    Location: Castle Rock, CO
    DD: 10.13.18
    baby #2 due: 7.14.20

  • Are others going to include their in laws relatives? The grandmother of the baby and great grandmother or DH’s side, or his aunts?
  • @rabtaido1214 I included my DH’s side. My MIL’s family is fairly small and they live close so I included them (Grandma, aunt, and I think my MIL included some others from their family, but she is throwing the shower so she invited who she wants). My FIL’s side is a little different...I included both sets of grandparents on his side (FIL’s parents are divorced and remarried) but didn’t include the aunts from that side because we aren’t close with them and they are out of state (the only time I have met both of them was at our wedding almost 6 years ago).
    Me:29 DH:30
    TTC #1: 12/2017
  • @rabtaido1214 yep, I told my MIL to invite whoever she wanted. It's the first grandbaby for her, so I know she's excited and wants to include her friends and family. So we have cousins/aunts/grandmas/friends coming from DH's side.
  • @rabtaido1214 I am - or at least the immediate circle of in-law family. I have a coworker who didn’t get invited to her DILs shower and she was very upset! 
  • We have my mom's side (which includes my grandpa's side we aren't super close with), my step dad's side, my bio-dad's side, and DHs side. A lot of DHs family is out of state, but we invite his aunt's because they will want to be included. My guest list is huge...
  • I am getting a shower from each side of the family. I think both dates will be on most of the invites so they can choose the one that works for their schedules and location. 

  • We did a shower for my side of the family (my mom’s best friend hosted), and my DHs step-mom hosted one for his side of the family. We both have biggish extended families with most living here. 
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