Babyshower Thread

rabtaido1214 · May 2018

So interesting to hear all the different views, opinions and cultural traditions. I’m really not sure if we will be thrown a shower. I’d never host my own because I’d feel greedy, but I am a FTM so we are starting from scratch. My family is rather spread out. We live very close to my MIL but coordinating, funding, or planning s party is just not in her wheel house. My MOH offered to “help” whoever was planning the shower. I mentioned it to my mom who said something like ohhh I’m not good at that kind of stuff and expecting people to bring gifts. So I’m not feeling very optimistic.

arome2311 · May 2018

@rabtaido1214- I have a good friend who lives back in Illinois and she was kind of in the same boat about a shower. Didn't want to throw her own, but it's not exactly her sister's expertise. So her sister is "hosting" the shower, but my friend is helping plan and pay for some of it (because her sister isn't as financially stable). There are a bunch of friends who have offered to help as well and it seems to be working for her.

chyvie · May 2018

When should we sent out the Evite for a shower September 8th? I know a lot of people plan things far in advance and I would like to get it the Evite out earlier but is it TOO early now?

Lisa3379 · May 2018

@chyvie I’d say no earlier than 2 months. Now seems early... but that’s just me.

chopchop25 · May 2018

@chyvie agree with @lisa3379. I’d say mid July - gives people enough time to plan and check out your registry, plus enough time for anyone on vacation to come back and get it/go away in August and have time to shop. Any earlier would feel too early IMO.

chyvie · May 2018

Thanks ladies! I thought it might be too early. Just trying to cross things off my never ending list and that seemed like an easy one to do! LOL

krzyriver · May 2018

Too early and people forget about it! I think 4-6 weeks is appropriate.

chopchop25 · May 2018

@chyvie doesn't mean you can't have some fun drafting invites and just wait to send!

SawyerRichardson · May 2018

Ok I have to vent because I'm irritated. A friend of mine just sent me an invite to her baby shower. Now here is why I'm annoyed.

1 - This is for her 4th child
2 - Her oldest is 3 (two of the kids are twins)
3 - Her youngest, the twins, are 15 months old
4 - This baby is the same sex as her youngest
5 - She is hosting it herself. This one I don't usually care about, but it's just another weird thing on top of all the others.

So all of the normal "excuses" to have another shower are out the window. She says it's because this baby was unplanned and she gave away a lot of her baby items. Well her other kids aren't that big, so she still has all the major items. So you want us to buy you all the clothing and stuff because you made a poor decision**? Sorry not happening.

I mean, am I being completely irrational by being annoyed with this?

**ETA - Poor decision to get rid of your baby items. Not the unplanned pregnancy. Just wanted to clarify.

nasalot188 · May 2018

@SawyerRichardson pfft not at all I would be super ticked. That is beyond tacky. Like you said, not my problem you sold everything. Buy what you need second hand!

mamabearcj · May 2018

@SawyerRichardson super tacky!! I doubt I'd even go to be honest. It sounds like she needs diapers and clothes and there are plenty of super cute second hand stores for that or Amazon diaper subscriptions.

knottieamusements · May 2018

@SawyerRichardson - I’d be checked out of that one too.

There is absolutely no reason you have to go, and giving up a few hours of my life for that would make me cranky.

knottieamusements · May 2018

Super excited! A couple of friends had offered to throw me a baby shower and we have a venue and a date! My Mom is going to come into town for it!

sammierose464 · May 2018

@knottieamusements yay!!

@SawyerRichardson I wouldn't go either. Id be annoyed

chopchop25 · May 2018

That’s so exciting @knottieamusements!

@SawyerRichardson that is the tackiest. Hard pass.

Laumb11 · May 2018

@SawyerRichardson
Wow! I got rid of everything b/c we didn't think we would have another one and DS will be almost 5, when she is born, so we got rid of everything. I would never host myself a shower! I plan on going to Once upon an child and another local consignment shop to buy stuff. Some people.. just have no clue.

SawyerRichardson · May 2018

Thanks everyone. My first instinct was that it was super gift grabby but I wanted to make sure I wasn't jumping to conclusions. Definitely won't be going.

@knottieamusements That's awesome! I'm so glad your mom will be coming in town for your shower as well!

britvahok · May 2018

@SawyerRichardson I wouldn't be able to attend that shower because I would roll my eyes the entire time. Wow, because she had an unplanned pregnancy everyone needs buy her new baby items???

mytrueloves · May 2018

When you say things like "we gave all our baby stuff away", it proves you only want the shower for the gifts. Which is 100% just gift grabby.

mytrueloves · May 2018

Well my sister just totally surprised me by offering to throw me a shower. Would it be fine to accept, even though it's our second baby, since someone else offered and we already have all our baby stuff so we don't even have a registry or anything?

chopchop25 · May 2018

@mytrueloves that's super sweet of her! Kind of curious if others disagree, but I think it's absolutely fine to accept

britvahok · May 2018

@mytrueloves is your sister trying to throw you a full blown baby shower or a sprinkle? Sounds like maybe a sprinkle since you already have everything you need and don't have a registry.

knottieamusements · May 2018

@mytrueloves - I think that second showers are one of those things that are just going to become part of our social reality.

Maybe talk to your sister, and let her know that you have your baby stuff, but are fine throwing a party to celebrate new family? Then when people ask about registries/ what you need, she can tell them you don’t need anything, just looking forward to celebrating. People will likely bring you stuff anyway, but this will set expectations appropriately.

mytrueloves · May 2018

@britvahok I don't know what she has in mind, but it's probably going to end up being a sprinkle because we literally have everything for baby already. The only thing that would be on our registry if we had one would be things like clothes and blankets, so stuff people would already get as gifts if they wanted to gift anything. But we don't have a registry because that's all that would be on it lol

mamabearcj · May 2018

@mytrueloves how far apart are your kiddos going to be? If theyre close in age it can be seen as gift grabby even though you aren't throwing it. I guess it depends on you're family and friends/community, ECT. If it's something that's common then go for it! If it's something you're not sure of maybe ask your sister instead of hosting a shower if she could help supply food for a sip and see after baby arrives? And negate guests at your house that may be staying too long possibly. That way shes still able to do something for you, it doesn't require people bring gifts, and everyones happy!

mytrueloves · May 2018

@mamabearcj DD will be turning 6 when baby is born. Sis is just really excited about this baby and wants to celebrate. I'm fine with her not even calling it a shower / sprinkle, just a party.

mamabearcj · May 2018

@mytrueloves I agree with the other ladies! You already have everything and if someone asks about a registry then they'll figure out something to get. Not gift grabby or tacky at all

nmadjeski · May 2018

@mytrueloves i agree with @knottieammusments have a celebration for baby but not really a shower.

When I was pregnant with DS my best friend and I were not in contact much ( we were both having major relationship/family issues at the time) my SIL threw us a sprinkle and my best friend wants her turn with this baby. She was so excited I couldn't tell her no. It's going to be more of a party to celebrate the new baby. We dont need anything as DS will be 2 when DD is born and our registry is private and will not be shared. (We have Amazon, mainly for the completion discount for the few things we want to get). It will just be close family and a few friends. My family and SO all have boys so it's the first girl in a long time so everyone is excited about that too.

hellopartyof5 · May 2018

I think sprinkles are totally fine if it's a different sex. It's cute and who doesn't like buying baby clothes? I know I do!!! I think they've become very common. In fact I had 2 surprise ones thrown for me last time lol (both very small with close friends and the other close family). As long as it's not some huge thing I don't see anything wrong with it.

sunnyknightsarah · May 2018

I’m very excited for my shower - we have a date and a venue. Our HOA offers the clubhouse attached to our community pool to residents for a really cheap rental fee. It’s a nice space with enough room for everyone, which I love.

I am am worried about my mom and MIL planning it together. My mom is a type A, loud, Italian woman with a heart of gold and my MIL is a quiet, passive sweetheart. My mom will definitely take over and go nuts and my MIL will get bowled over lol. I appreciate her excitement and think it’s sweet but I also will feel uncomfortable if she goes overboard and spends a grand on a baby shower, like I fear she will. She doesn’t understand a budget at allllll and will blow their monthly fixed income on me which will make me feel awful even though I know it’s her choice. I guarantee she and MIL have not discussed budget and MIL will not want to spend the same amount my mom is willing too.

Also, thank god for my best friend. I was happy to let Mom and MIL do the party their way (I was just happy someone wanted to throw me a party lol) but the only thing I wanted to have a say in was who was invited. Best friend told me my mom is trying to add a tonnnnn of people (many of whom I was friends with a decade ago but don’t really keep in touch with anymore and one my mom swears I’m friends with bc we were friends when we were teens but we had a falling out in our early 20s) and best friend is trying to talk her down from inviting these people haha. Good Lord, ma. Lol

but overall, I’m so excited for the shower!

beccajean71 · May 2018

@mytrueloves you could always see if she wants to do a diaper party instead of a sprinkle, those are becoming more and more common. And it's something you actually will need and use.

mamabearcj · May 2018

@sarahzett my mom is the same way with the invite list, she invited her coworkers I've never met, tried inviting my dad's coworkers wives(he thankfully shut that down) tried inviting friends from middle school I haven't talked to in years!? I had to cut down the list to now mostly family and the very few friends I actually stay in touch with

cdepperschmidt · May 2018

@mytrueloves I think it’s totally fine since someone is doing it for you. Maybe suggest a diaper party type thing.

sunnyknightsarah · May 2018

@mamabearcj that’s good you were able to narrow it down! I gave her a list and it sounds like she’s just trying to ignore it so I guess we’ll see who ends up coming haha

mamabearcj · May 2018

@sarahzett luckily I am able to talk her out of outrageous things. She tried inviting my first boyfriends mom and I absolutely shot that down. I felt like it was so gift grabby to invite people I don't talk to, don't know, etc, to come to my shower and celebrate me when I probably wouldn't be invited to a similar situation for them ya know??

sunnyknightsarah · May 2018

@mamabearcj yes! I wasn’t even sure about inviting my aunts and cousins (who I am close with and want there but live 1800 miles away and don’t expect to come) because it felt gift grabby but my mom got all huffy and pointed out when my cousin didn’t invite my mom to a shower bc my mom lived far, she was hurt by it and said she would have liked to have been invited and to at least have known about it so she could send a card and/or gift. So I added them. But first boyfriend’s mom? I’m with you. Passssss haha. If I show up and my mom has invited bunch of randoms, I’m going to be slightly mortified lol. My friend seemed to talk her down by arguing if they are old friends or acquaintances from a long time ago but weren’t invited to my wedding 2 and a half years ago, they shouldn’t be invited to my baby shower.

Edited for spelling hah

halfanewt · May 2018

I’ve had a friend waiting to throw me one for a couple years now, and we just set the date! She loves planning and hosting showers, so there’s not much for me to do. It feels kinda weird to leave this entirely in someone else’s hands, lol. How early should I try to get her the registry?

@sarahzett could you tell her the clubhouse has a max number of people for capacity? Maybe that would help curb the list a little.

mamabearcj · May 2018

@halfanewt I'd get her the registry sooner than later! Even if it isn't done yet she might need the links to put on the invites! And you can keep adding to it until you finish it really. They way she won't get bombarded with registry questions

sunnyknightsarah · May 2018

@halfanewt unfortunately, she was at the tour of the facility so she knows it holds 120... lol. She just has the "bigger is always better" mentality. I am going to see her tomorrow for my birthday and I will broach the topic and make a point to let her know it will be more special to me if I just have the people close to me there. Hopefully she'll understand.

sammierose464 · May 2018

I have to figure out our guest list. It will be very similar to my wedding shower last year, but I have some girl friends I want to invite that weren't invited to my shower.

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