My advice: when you get home from the hospital DO NOT look at your episiotomy stitches with a mirror. Your eyes cannot unsee what they have seen.
Really? I tore rather than an episiotomy, but still had a couple stitches. I think when I looked I couldn't really see anything other than maybe a line where the tore occurred. My MW said it was all inside me. I'm naturally curious though.
@wickedtiny and@CecilB93 I checked out my episiotomy stitches and while I’m glad I did (especially because one of my stitches ripped a couple dsys PP), I was pretty horrified and you can’t unsee it. I was super bruised too because they had to use forceps.
@trucksntutus I was definitely not thrilled about it, but after 3 hrs of pushing it was either that or a c-section. At least it was my choice which way it went.
So two questions I have from reading this and the ten things thread: 1) what is this "nipple confusion" and "establishing supply" people keep mentioning? 2) do you/did you feed your baby per schedule (every two hours, etc) it whenever it woke up (potentially longer than two hours)?
@ab_canada one of the most stressful parts about breastfeeding is worrying that your making enough to feed baby. That’s why people reference “establishing supply”, or making enough. It can be tough.
There are some lines of thought that pacifiers or bottles will confuse baby or make them prefer those to the boob, which will in turn lead to less nursing and lower supply. These theories are mostly bunk IMO and IME.
And as as far as feeding schedule, I think most recommend feeding every 2 hours or so until baby is back to birthweight, and then on demand. I think all pedis are different and we did mostly on demand, but my kids both bounced up to birthweight by the time we left the hospital so it wasn’t a huge thing for us.
Yay for starting this @PensiveCrayon! So much great advice has been given and a lot has helped jump start my memory on the whole process. While I expect this time to be different from my first, I have just a few points to reiterate on behalf of my experience.
1)Your doctor/OB works for you is SO right! I still struggle with this today as I don’t feel 100% comfortable going to my OB with the ‘little things’. Part of my issue is that I live in a very small community so politics do come into play at times and I care what people think even though I try not to.
3)I have tiny nipples. There, I said it! It took until day 3 to try using a nipple shield because of the conflicting advice I kept getting from different nurses and LCs. It saved my breastfeeding experience! Don’t be afraid to try new things and, of course, listen to your gut.
4)The weight comes off different for everyone and it was a huge struggle for me. However, at the end of the day - YOU ARE AMAZING and you’re body just grew the most beautiful miracle and brought it to life. Give yourself some patience and grace. Get off the social media that makes you feel bad by comparing to unrealistic images (i.e. the princess)
5)We had DS in his crib from night one and never bed shared. I have no issue in that it works for other people, but not doing it worked wonders for us. By six months he would want the time alone in his crib and I’d sit on the deck and enjoy a beer with DH.
6)Speaking of DH, don’t forget about your SO. You’re so overwhelmed with love for this new tiny human, it’s easy to forget to take the time for your relatonship. We started going on regular date nights around the 6-8 month mark and we should've started sooner.
So two questions I have from reading this and the ten things thread: 1) what is this "nipple confusion" and "establishing supply" people keep mentioning? 2) do you/did you feed your baby per schedule (every two hours, etc) it whenever it woke up (potentially longer than two hours)?
Nipple confusion is the idea that if you introduce a bottle or a pacifier too soon, it will interfere with your nursing relationship (because the action required for your baby to suck on a bottle nipple is very different than the action required for them to nurse from your nipple). It's mostly a garbage theory, and if you have plans to, say, go back to work and leave your kid at daycare with pumped milk, it can cause some issues when your child later refuses a bottle.
Establishing supply is just what it sounds like; regulating the amount of milk your body produces so it's in line with your child's needs. Ideally, your body adjusts in response to how much milk is removed from the breast (whether that's via pump or direct to baby) and eventually settles into a pattern so that you're neither leaving baby hungry all the time nor walking around engorged all the time. That said, some women will never make enough, and others will always overproduce, and there's only so much you can do about it.
Lots of parents do feed their babies on a schedule; whether you need to depends on a lot of things, and your pediatrician/lactation consultant can help you figure out what's right for you. If baby ends up in the NICU, or is jaundiced, or loses a lot of weight in the hospital, you might be encouraged to set a strict feeding schedule from the beginning. Some people prefer a strict regimen for their own peace of mind. I personally fed my daughter on demand from the beginning, which is what worked for us, but in cases like ours where there weren't concerns about her not getting enough, I don't think there's a better way or worse way to do things.
@ab_canada To add a little to what @runrinserepeat said, “nipple confusion” is supposedly when you’re breastfeeding and you give baby a bottle or pacifier and it confuses baby into not being able to breastfeed. Some hospitals are pushing this big time (read: mine) and will not provide bottles or pacifiers. I suggest you bring your own if you want to use them. I brought a pacifier and it was the only way I got sleep.
One thing I just thought of is that if you’re breastfeeding your baby is going to only get a little tiny bit of colostrum at first before your milk comes in. This is normal and can result in your baby losing a little bit of weight in the very beginning instead of gaining, which is also normal. No one told me that and I was super worried about it. That said, if you have concerns and feel like baby isn’t getting enough within a couple of days, say something. Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself and just make sure the doctor knows how things are going.
@ab_canada to add to what everyone else said. Sometimes it takes up to five days or so for your milk to come in, which is the case for me. I was petrified about my daughter getting enough due to that, plus a terrible latch. I supplemented in the first few days with ready to feed formula when I noticed that she had not had enough wet diapers when she was 3 days or so old. Once I bought a nipple shield her latch got MUCH better and she was actually able to breastfeed. She also used a pacifier the first week and never had any issues with her latching while breastfeeding.
I was told to feed every 3 hours (and even wake baby in the middle of the night) until she was up to birth weight. I did this because I was so terrified about what she was ingesting. After she was up to birth weight I let her go until she woke up and cried. I am not sure I will do the same with baby number 2. If I feel this next baby is getting more milk/colostrum I may not wake the baby to feed.
Ooh, another thing: go download the KidsDoc app from the American Academy of Pediatrics right now. It's got a symptoms lookup that's a great guide for when to head to the ER vs what should be an immediate phone call to the doctor vs what you can take them in for in the morning... super helpful when your newborn is rocking a 100.1 temperature or has poop that doesn't look right or seems to be constipated and you're not sure whether or not it's time to panic. It's got all your dosage charts, care advice for specific symptoms, the works. I still check in with it sometimes when I'm not sure about something that's going on with Maggie (should this rash send me into panic mode or nah?). Way more reliable than Dr. Google or even your average mom's group.
Re: the scheduled feeding thing, some babies (read: mine) just aren't super vocal about wanting food (aside from a few days of cluster feeding which is FUN), so it's helpful to feed them approximately 3 hours from the start of the last feed. I used the app BabyConnect, which might cost a little bit of money but is very worth it. DATA! It's fun to see eating/pooping/sleeping trends over time. And to know how many diapers you've changed in the baby's lifetime. There are also growth charts you can plug your kid's stats into to see how they're growing on the curve.
Me: 31 | DH: 31
Together since 2003 | Married 2010 TTC #1 January 2016 BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016 Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018 BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
@ab_canada - I never did, some people do it religiously (a friend kept at it well into the toddler days, even). Like many things, totally not mandatory!
@PensiveCrayon I wonder if you rename the thread something like The Great Birth and Postpartum Advice Thread they'll pin it? Something more big thread seeming? That is my only idea, otherwise I am at a loss as to why it hasn't gotten pinned! Boo!
@BumpAdmin Can we please get a sticky for this thread? Pretty please??? Thank you!!!
@ab_canada They might have you track poop and pee right at the very beginning because it’s a good way to make sure baby is eating enough. My hospital gave a little booklet we were supposed to fill out so they could see how many a day before we left. Agree though that after a bit it’s not too necessary as long as you’re paying attention to the fact they they are having about as many as necessary.
@runrinserepeat Tracking diapers and feedings literally gives me a feeling of extreme anxiety. I had a very, very low supply milk wise due to my postpartum thyroiditis, but no one knew that at the beginning, so DD was not getting enough food and no one could figure it out, so she was losing weight even though I was breastfeeding constantly and, scarily enough, she was not even having enough wet diapers at the beginning. We were at the doctor's *constantly* at the beginning and it was so scary. I have to remind myself it will not be this scary this time around and that I'm prepared and will know what's wrong if the same thing happens.
@ab_canada As long as the baby is gaining the appropriate amount of weight, it is kind of personal preference. I found timing everything to be extremely stressful, but I was also pumping and nursing at every feeding. After he started gaining weight, I was able to go more on-demand. He tended to stick to every three hours, which was nice for the predictability. It was nice to not have to stop and feed him if he was content.
I used babytracker to track everything. it felt like i was tracking forever but i just went back and looked and only tracked for about a month. But it feels like forever when you are doing it all day for every single thing.
It was good for me to have data and to be able to look back at what was going on re: nursing, diapers and sleep. But i do remember feeling like it was becoming addictive and a bit OCD about it all.
I had to actively make myself stop and also not worry about not having the info.
Me: 36, H: 37 FTM, 2 Furbabies married 03/17/07 lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC due: 2/15/17
My son didn’t want to nurse much the first few days and since I had him at a birth center we went home a few hours after birth. One thing no one told me was that if they aren’t taking in much milk they will have pee that is red/dusty. I freaked out when I saw it because I thought it was blood, but apparently it’s not a big deal.
Me: 35 H: 35 Married: 4/5/13 "You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." ~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #1: 11/12/12 EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13 BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18 BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18 RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28 BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
@krob I was the same way. I had to make myself stop tracking stuff or else I’d probably still be tracking this kid’s poop. I tracked the number of oz she ate every day for a loooong time and was kind of obsessive about it.
What is the tracking for? To check for regularity? Or to provide info to the baby’s doctor? When I worked in childcare, we had to track naps, food/bottles, and diapers/bathroom trips of kids until they turned 3. But I’ve never heard of parents tracking at home, half of our parents just tossed the “daily” (what we called them) when we handed it to them.
Re: The Great Birth and Postpartum Advice Thread
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
DS2 due 12/12/18
Me: 40 | SO: 32
DDs: 11, 7.5 | Due: 22-Dec
We're having another GIRL!!
DS2 due 12/12/18
Me: 40 | SO: 32
DDs: 11, 7.5 | Due: 22-Dec
We're having another GIRL!!
Me: 40 | SO: 32
DDs: 11, 7.5 | Due: 22-Dec
We're having another GIRL!!
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
@Katzalia omg my biggest fear is forceps!
DS2 due 12/12/18
1) what is this "nipple confusion" and "establishing supply" people keep mentioning?
2) do you/did you feed your baby per schedule (every two hours, etc) it whenever it woke up (potentially longer than two hours)?
And as as far as feeding schedule, I think most recommend feeding every 2 hours or so until baby is back to birthweight, and then on demand. I think all pedis are different and we did mostly on demand, but my kids both bounced up to birthweight by the time we left the hospital so it wasn’t a huge thing for us.
Yay for starting this @PensiveCrayon! So much great advice has been given and a lot has helped jump start my memory on the whole process. While I expect this time to be different from my first, I have just a few points to reiterate on behalf of my experience.
1)Your doctor/OB works for you is SO right! I still struggle with this today as I don’t feel 100% comfortable going to my OB with the ‘little things’. Part of my issue is that I live in a very small community so politics do come into play at times and I care what people think even though I try not to.
3)I have tiny nipples. There, I said it! It took until day 3 to try using a nipple shield because of the conflicting advice I kept getting from different nurses and LCs. It saved my breastfeeding experience! Don’t be afraid to try new things and, of course, listen to your gut.
4)The weight comes off different for everyone and it was a huge struggle for me. However, at the end of the day - YOU ARE AMAZING and you’re body just grew the most beautiful miracle and brought it to life. Give yourself some patience and grace. Get off the social media that makes you feel bad by comparing to unrealistic images (i.e. the princess)
5)We had DS in his crib from night one and never bed shared. I have no issue in that it works for other people, but not doing it worked wonders for us. By six months he would want the time alone in his crib and I’d sit on the deck and enjoy a beer with DH.
6)Speaking of DH, don’t forget about your SO. You’re so overwhelmed with love for this new tiny human, it’s easy to forget to take the time for your relatonship. We started going on regular date nights around the 6-8 month mark and we should've started sooner.
I deleted my #2, did you notice?
DS: 12/20/16
EDD: 11/29/18
Establishing supply is just what it sounds like; regulating the amount of milk your body produces so it's in line with your child's needs. Ideally, your body adjusts in response to how much milk is removed from the breast (whether that's via pump or direct to baby) and eventually settles into a pattern so that you're neither leaving baby hungry all the time nor walking around engorged all the time. That said, some women will never make enough, and others will always overproduce, and there's only so much you can do about it.
Lots of parents do feed their babies on a schedule; whether you need to depends on a lot of things, and your pediatrician/lactation consultant can help you figure out what's right for you. If baby ends up in the NICU, or is jaundiced, or loses a lot of weight in the hospital, you might be encouraged to set a strict feeding schedule from the beginning. Some people prefer a strict regimen for their own peace of mind. I personally fed my daughter on demand from the beginning, which is what worked for us, but in cases like ours where there weren't concerns about her not getting enough, I don't think there's a better way or worse way to do things.
One thing I just thought of is that if you’re breastfeeding your baby is going to only get a little tiny bit of colostrum at first before your milk comes in. This is normal and can result in your baby losing a little bit of weight in the very beginning instead of gaining, which is also normal. No one told me that and I was super worried about it. That said, if you have concerns and feel like baby isn’t getting enough within a couple of days, say something. Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself and just make sure the doctor knows how things are going.
She also used a pacifier the first week and never had any issues with her latching while breastfeeding.
I was told to feed every 3 hours (and even wake baby in the middle of the night) until she was up to birth weight. I did this because I was so terrified about what she was ingesting. After she was up to birth weight I let her go until she woke up and cried. I am not sure I will do the same with baby number 2. If I feel this next baby is getting more milk/colostrum I may not wake the baby to feed.
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
..Tracking poops?
@BumpAdmin Can we please get a sticky for this thread? Pretty please??? Thank you!!!
DS: 12/20/16
EDD: 11/29/18
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
It was good for me to have data and to be able to look back at what was going on re: nursing, diapers and sleep. But i do remember feeling like it was becoming addictive and a bit OCD about it all.
I had to actively make myself stop and also not worry about not having the info.
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
@BumpAdmin can we get a sticky today?