Me: 31 | DH: 31
December 2018 Moms
PensiveCrayon
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The Great Birth and Postpartum Advice Thread
PensiveCrayon
member
Bringing back a very helpful thread from my first BMB, it's the GIANT PREGNANCY/BIRTH/POSTPARTUM TMI THREAD! FTM's, ask any questions you can think of. STM's and beyond, chime in with any and all recollections you have about the process of growing and expelling a human child. Especially helpful may be the non-typical birth and postpartum experiences. As I myself can tell you, it's not all sunshine and roses (although fingers crossed for this go-round).
@BumpAdmin it would be lovely if you could sticky this pleeeeease.
@BumpAdmin it would be lovely if you could sticky this pleeeeease.
Together since 2003 | Married 2010
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
Re: The Great Birth and Postpartum Advice Thread
Pregnancy
- The whole first trimester is a mindf***, especially if you don't experience any morning sickness. You'll consider yourself lucky when your healthy, perfect baby is in your arms; in the meantime, don't Google what a lack of MS means.
- And I repeat, STAY OFF GOOGLE. Jiminy Christmas.
- Get a Snoogle. Get one. Now. Buy it. Go. This will be here when you get back.
- Um...I can't think of anything else but if I do I'll update. I had a severely easy pregnancy. Which leads to...
Birth- It sucks.
- No really, it sucks. Especially if you go med-free.
- Water helps sooooo much with the pain. Also, ask me about my home birth!
- If you plan on baking a cake or something while in early labor, make sure it doesn't include three bowls and the grating of multiple fruits and vegetables. I'm not even kidding you.
- Labor might not be as straightforward as you think it will be. My contractions were irregular and sucky from the beginning, and I still had nearly 24 hours to go.
- Unless you have someone actively advocating for you, all your glorious plans of what you want to do to distract yourself during labor will probably go out the window. Example: I wanted to watch funny YouTube videos. My husband put one on and I got annoyed and made him turn it off. (Also I didn't have my contacts in and definitely wasn't about to put them in to watch the TV.) There was no music as I'd hoped for, and when the birth assistant tried reading me the affirmation cards I'd written I just got annoyed at how canned it all was.
- I know most people will be delivering in the hospital, but if you can, SNEAK IN FOOD. Smoothies were the best to sip on. I hated my husband with every fiber of my being when he made me eat a bagel bite by bite between contractions, but it was something I knew I needed to do to keep up my energy, and so I did it. This time around I might actually buy baby food pouches for myself. I got some heinous-tasting banana yogurts (I hadn't tried them before actual labor, heh, that's another word of advice!) and applesauce pouches but guys? Baby food pouches are pretty delicious. Not even gonna lie.
- Probably doesn't need to be said, but birth isn't like the TV/movies. It will take a long time. And then there's the afterbirth (which honestly I don't remember being a big deal.)
- Things might go terribly, terribly wrong. But like...think positively? It will probably be fine.
- Meconium ain't no joke.
NICU Tips (Hopefully this will never apply to anyone on this board. Realistically, it will.)- Start pumping ASAP if you want to breastfeed. Like, before you even leave for the hospital.
- You can successfully breastfeed, even with a rough start! My son was in the hospital for 3 weeks and I was only able to get about an ounce or two per side out at a time. As soon as we got home and I started EBF my milk came in on the right side. (It was super strange. I had mastitis on the left, so I'm assuming that's why it didn't come in quite so suddenly. It did catch up, though.)
- TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF. Do not let yourself get caught up in guilt over not being with your baby 100% of the time. It will be okay. There's a competent team of nurses and doctors tending to your child, and you are recovering from some massive trauma, as well. The last thing you want is a bout of mastitis that takes you to the ER with your overbearing mother-in-law at 11 p.m.
- You're going to feel some shock, denial, etc, and that's okay. Process it as best you can. One of the greatest things I did was write a blog post every day while A. was in the NICU, updating the world on his progress. It's a great log of what happened day to day now that I've forgotten most of it.
PostpartumTTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
Hmm, let's see, where on earth to begin. I think I'll just cover picking an OB, birth plans, labor and being induced for now (since that will be long enough!) and return to cover postpartum stuff another time!
#1 Choosing an OB - I actually went back and put this before labor because, if you go the OB route, the OB you choose and their approach determines a lot of what goes on in labor. I chose my OB because she has excellent reviews, she's experienced with AMA and high risk births and (this was very important to me) she does not rush into c sections. She is patient as long as the baby and mom are stable, and this ended up being a good thing for me and my labor situation! Overall, ask your OB a ton of questions and make sure you trust him/her and feel comfortable with their judgement and experience, because that matters a lot.
#2 Birth plans - Don't have a crazy strict birth plan. Definitely research and ask your OB a ton of questions, but I think it's best to have of a general idea about how you want things to go instead of a hard and fast PLAN THAT CANNOT BE DIVERTED FROM. Because things change, sometimes very rapidly and your safety and the safety of the baby are the most important things, not some ideal birth you had in your head. That said, do be an advocate for yourself (or have your husband or support person or doula or whoever) advocate for yourself when it is *safe* to do so. Like, don't overrule a doctor or nurse who says you or the baby are in trouble, but as long as things are going well and you and the baby are stable, advocate for yourself if you don't want an epidural, if you want to try longer if you're having failure to progress, etc. Thanks to my OB's support, I was able to advocate for myself that I wanted to keep trying for a vaginal birth after 25 hours of basically no progress, and it was fine because I was stable and baby was stable.
Related to this - go to birth classes with your husband and talk over labor a lot and make sure that he can be that rock and advocate for you that you need. If he can't (and no judgement, some husbands can't, due to fainting at the sight of blood or whatever) then get another person in there, whether it's your mom or best friend or a doula or what have you. It's important to have a strong support system. And research all types of birth, induction, c section, etc, because you really never know what you'll end up with!
#3 Being induced - Expect it to take a long time. If it doesn't, great, but if it does, you'll be prepared. My OB compared it to jump starting a car. You are not already in labor, so a lot of times it takes a WHILE to get it going. It will be much harder if you want to go med free if you have to be induced, because, at least in my case, I could not labor at home (obviously) and I couldn't get up and walk around at all. Once my water was broken the nurses wouldn't even let me get up to use the bathroom, I had to lift myself over a bed pan (at 41 + 1 weeks hahaha NO) or get a catheter, so I opted for the catheter and the epidural all at once. It is definitely possible to go med free with an induction, but it will take a lot more planning, practice and work because you could be laboring anywhere from 12 to 48 hours! (Mine was about 27 hours.)
#4 Don't be alone during labor - *TW this might be a bit scary and gross** After I got my epidural my blood pressure and heart rate crashed and I briefly lost consciousness. Once I was stable and awake again, my husband left to go update my mom and tell her I was okay and the nurses left as well. At this point, they had me lying flat on my back to get me to stay conscious. My body picked this exact time to vomit and I could. not. move. The epidural was too strong, I was too out of it to articulate that to anyone before they left, so when I started vomiting I couldn't even lift my neck or shoulders and I started choking on my vomit and couldn't breathe. Luckily, a nurse walking by saw me and yanked me up, but I irritated my throat so much that I coughed up blood for the entire rest of the time I was in labor. (This ended up being no big deal but it was scary and almost choking to death on my own vomit while I couldn't move was VERY scary.) So, try not to be left alone in the room. If you're about to be left alone due to some unforeseen circumstance, make sure you're feeling good and you have the call button for the nurses in your hand. **end TW**
1.Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT, use this time as a free for all to eat everything you want. Some say weight falls off when you breastfeed, but that's not always true. Then, you're decades of pounds overweight with a newborn and your too tired to do squat about. Control yourself now and try to stay active. (I'm talking to myself, obviously.)
2. If you're concerned about something, call your doctor. You aren't trying to be friends with your OB, so who the heck cares if they think you're crazy. You deserve peace of mind.
3. Take the classes your hospital offers, especially Infant Safety and CPR and the Car seat class. Y'all. Install and properly use your car seat.
Labor and Deliver:
1. Have a plan but don't be too caught up in the plan. Chances are, it won't go the way you want.
2. If you have to have a c-section, ask for a stool softener IMMEDIATELY. Your first post baby poop is like delivering another child.
3. Accept meds that your nurse is giving you while in the hospital and don't try to be a martyr.
4. Again, don't try to be a martyr. Let the baby go sleep in the nursery for a couple of hours while you get some rest.
Newborn:
1. Ask for help if you need it.
2. Don't have visitors over if you don't want visitors.
3. Chances are, there will be some of you that have trouble breastfeeding. I did. You ARE adequate and you ARE a great mom. Just because you aren't producing enough, the baby isn't latching, or you just don't want to doesn't define you as a mom. Feed your baby. Focus on the good things about formula feeding, like the fact your spouse can help!
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
My water broke spontaneously both times, both times while I was laying in bed. The first I'd been having contractions. The second, I woke up and thought, "huh, that felt just like when my water broke last time" and then gush.
I gave birth at the hospital, but didn't have any meds (or as much as an IV). The first time, cool. The second time, I was so pissed. I drug my husband through Bradley classes with the first and apparently I convinced him too hard. I'm pretty apathetic about the whole med-free thing now, and will get the drugs if I want them this time (and DH will know that going in).
Also, WRT choosing your OB, like @maureenmce said, I had a completely different experience. I literally never saw my OB while I was in labor, or really until the day after my kids had been born. She's great, but the doctors really had very little effect on my experience. Having my husband know what to do to keep labor moving, calm me down, how to rub my back - those were much more important for me in the end.
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
I was induced with my son at 35/36 weeks. I had pre-e and had lost vision in my left eye. They started the induction on a Friday afternoon. By Saturday afternoon I was still at 1 cm so they broke my water. Saturday evening I was at 3 cm and over it all so I got my epidural. Im pretty sure I fell asleep while they were putting it in. I slept for 2 hours and work up at 10 cm ready to go! I pushed for about 35 mins and had my son.
We were team green I told the dr. specifically I did not want her to tell me the sex. I wanted it to be a moment between my husband and myself not her. We completely forgot! It was about 5 mins later and she asked if we were going to look.
When I did my hospital tour they gave us all this info about how they were so BF friendly and they have a nurse specifically assigned to help you BF right after delivery. That may be true if you deliver during the day on a week day. I was alone. I had my son at midnight. At approx. 2 am we go put into another room because I had a mag drip still from pre-e I could not go to a pp room I had to stay in a delivery room. at 4 am a nurse came into the room and may have explained something to me but I dont remember. What I do remember is that she said my son needed to go to the NICU. Then she just walked out with him. I was not allowed up still so I threw something at DH and told him to follow my baby. He came back about 45 mins later and told me he had no ideas what was going on. I was a fucking wreck, I had no clue what was going on. I pressed the nurses button and all that nurse told me was that my son was in the NICU and that it was shift change. The next nurse who cam on had no clue what she was walking into when she came into my room. I was PISSED. It ended up that because he was early my son needed to have his sugar checked every 3 hours. I countered that with if it just needs to be done every 3 hours then bring him back to me and DH can walk him down there on a schedule. They then said that because of the mag and my inability stand I could not be left alone with the baby. I said that is fine I have a husband with me. Finally someone went and got my son. I want to say that if my son needed to be in the NICU I absolutely would not have been a bitch but no one could give me a solid reason on why he needed to be in there. ADVOCATE for yourself! Ask questions. You are not being rude, you are being informed.
Something that I was no prepared for was my lack of bladder control right after my son. Get up frequently to pee. I had 2 accidents in the hospital. It was MORTIFYING.
I bled for 6 weeks. I ended up with a diaper rash from wearing a pad so much. I wore diapers the first week or so due to the bleeding and the fear of pissing myself.
I never got my son to latch. I had no supply, it is unknown if it is due to him being early or if my boobs are just defective. I pumped for 3 weeks every 3 hours and basically only got dust to come out. I went to multiple LCs who never helped. After 3 weeks I made one last LC apt and her suggestion was to bump it up to every 2 hours. My husband said no and we walked out. I was setting alarms at night to pump. Between pumping and night time feedings I was not sleeping. Things do not always go as planned.
- Charlie horses
- Pregnancy rhinitis (who needs to breathe through their nose anyway?)
- Carpal tunnel (get your crafting done now, if you're planning any)
- Lightning crotch (exactly what it sounds like)
- Prenatal depression. Seriously, we all hear a lot about PPD, but depression during pregnancy is real, it's common, and it does not indicate anything about the type of mother you'll be. If you start feeling shitty, tell your OB. Zoloft is generally considered safe during pregnancy, as is therapy (obviously), so you have options beyond just suffering.
Other Pregnancy Stuff:- Yes, yes, YES! to the Snoogle (or similar). Sleeping can get tough towards the end of pregnancy, and having decent support for my giant belly really helped.
- A support band for your bump can help with the back pain.
- You don't have to stick with your OB if you don't like him or her initially. It's okay to shop around.
- The abbreviated childbirth class is juuuuuuuust fine; you don't need all 8 hours of the all-day one.
Childbirth:- You are not required to have anyone in the room or in the waiting room if you don't want them there. You can, if you do, but there is zero shame in telling your MIL/mother that you don't want her within a country mile of you while you're in labor. If boundaries are an issue, you don't have to call to let them know you're in labor, and you don't have to tell them you know when you're being induced or getting a C-section. If all else fails, tell the nurses you don't want people there. Nurses are amazing, they do this all the time, and they will help you.
- Don't be a hero: get the epidural. Or rather, there are no medals for an unmedicated birth, and there's no shame in relieving your pain, if that's what you want. Just because the people around you are going unmedicated doesn't mean you have to, and you are allowed to change your mind even if that's what you initially planned.
- Keep your birth plan general (heck, you don't even have to make one if you don't want one); the more flexible you are, the less traumatized you'll be when (not if, when) things don't go exactly according to plan.
- At some point, a bunch of people may rush in to your room, turn you on your side, and start causing a ruckus. It's precautionary and normal; don't let it freak you out. If something is genuinely wrong, they'll tell you.
Postpartum:- A support band after a C-section is a MUST. It helps with the feeling that all of your organs are just free floating around in there.
- You'll bleed postpartum. A lot. For weeks. Yes, even if you don't give birth vaginally. Hospital grade supersize pads + mesh panties are AMAZING; take them all and ask for more. Depends don't suck either for those first few days when the flow is at its worst.
- It's gonna hurt like hell after a cesarean, especially to sit up from a lying down position. Get up and move anyway.
- During recovery, I got the shakes. Could not stop shivering, was worried I was having a seizure. Totally normal, though, for both C-sections and vaginal births. It's not pleasant.
Parenthood:- Breastfeeding: totally awesome! Not entirely necessary. Try, but don't beat yourself up if it just doesn't work out for you for whatever reason. Also, expect that it will suck and suck hard for the first few weeks; pain doesn't necessarily mean things aren't going well (though it can... your lactation consultant will be your new BFF).
- Formula feeding: totally awesome! Your partner can help with feedings, you'll have some freedom when you get back to work if you don't have to pump, and your child will be fed, which is the best part of all.
- Speaking of not necessarily enjoying things: not everybody bonds with their baby right away. Give yourself time; there's nothing wrong with you, and you'll love him/her eventually.
- You will do things that you planned to never do, and abandon things that you totally planned to do. The best laid plans... give yourself grace is what I'm saying.
- There are only two mom wars worth fighting: car seats and vaccines, in that order of importance. Car seat safety is so important. The safest carseat is the one that's installed and used correctly, so make sure your research doesn't stop at the brand you plan to buy. Ignore the other mom wars and you do you.
- Get out with your newborn and enjoy your life; go out to restaurants where you wouldn't bring a child! In the beginning they're essentially potatoes with faces; you'll have plenty of time to eat at McDonalds when you've got a little one who's louder and more mobile.
Baby gear:If you end up with a tear and get stitches (which like 90% of women do) DON'T try to push while going to the bathroom during recovery. Just take some stool softeners and let that shit (literally) slide out on it's own. And don't forget to have your spray bottle with warm water on hand..
Kade Wayne born July 23, 2015
MC in February 2017
MC in November 2017
Oliver Dean (Ollie) due December 17, 2018
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
Kade Wayne born July 23, 2015
MC in February 2017
MC in November 2017
Oliver Dean (Ollie) due December 17, 2018
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
Things that surprised me.
1) if you feel constipated act on it sooner than later. I only had this happen for 1 pregnancy.
2) stay active or get active. I majorly agree with @texas_t . For me I gain weight when breastfeeding- totally not fair. Im sure it’s beause it makes me so hungry and I over eat.
3) I love baby bathtubs for when they are too little to have control.
4) birth plans are fine as long as you are flexible.
5) my 1st pregnancy Id swear by the snoogle, my second I hated it. I’m interested to see what I’ll think this time lol.
6) car seats and car fits are a big deal. Choose wisely. I recommend going to a car seat safety/check appointment (was scheduled at the fire department). My h and I are reasonably intelligent. We did not have the car seat set up safely, and Im so grateful we got help.
7) nursery’s are overrated (immediately after birth, they are great for later on). I had to have it finished and then the baby slept in the baby cradle that is on my pack in play in my room for quite a while.
And YES about going to the car seat inspection places - it just provides peace of mind. And my husband was rear ended while driving my daughter on my first week back to work after maternity leave, and as scary as it was, at least I know for sure the car seat was installed right (and luckily everything was fine.)
Kade Wayne born July 23, 2015
MC in February 2017
MC in November 2017
Oliver Dean (Ollie) due December 17, 2018
And yes to all the different experiences thing! Just because I hate the baby tub doesn’t mean you need to skip it!
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
Pregnancy
Birth
Postpartum
Together Since 04/21/2009; Married Since 05/29/2013
Baby Boy born 11/30/16
Baby #2 Due December 4
My biggest advice: NEVER don't you EVER say something like "I'd never do that" or "I will always do this"...you will absolutely end up doing or not doing that thing. Don't get so uppity and high on yourself. Go with the flow and give yourself grace. The things you promised you'd never do...you'll do them. Get over it and love yourself.
Some people can't breastfeed. And some people can but hate it. I have PCOS and very low supply issues. OH HOW I WISH I had given in earlier and just switched to formula. I hated breastfeeding my baby because it hurt like hell and my baby wasn't getting enough. Guess what?? The best babies are the fed ones. Your baby will live (and even thrive) on formula. If you can breastfeed and enjoy it, definitely do it. But give yourself grace and know when enough is enough. Don't ever let anyone make you feel inferior for feeding your baby formula. It's bonkers how vulnerable we are when we have a baby. Stand up for yourself and know that you're doing the best you can for your baby.
You have to be your biggest advocate. Go with your gut and don't let other people push you to make decisions you aren't comfortable with. It's your body and your baby.
Baby boys get little baby boners. Sorry if that sounds inappropriate but it's true. Y'all I did not know this for some reason and was totally shocked when I discovered this.
The BIGGEST ADVICE I give moms planning to do a med-free labor...remember that contractions to not intensify after 30 seconds. It will only lessen in intensity after 30 seconds, so I'd have my husband count to 30 in his head and tell me when the 30 seconds was over. This helped me TREMENDOUSLY with dealing with the pain. I don't know if it was mental or not. But it helped so much. Also, eat food while you're in labor whether they let you or not. You're running a freaking marathon. My labor was 40 hours. You'd never tell someone to fast for 40 hours and then go do anything strenuous. Protein shakes and bananas were my friends.
Only have supportive selfless people in the room with you, especially if you're going med-free. Labor is not a spectator sport. If you aren't going to lend a helping hand, GTFO.
Stool softeners.
Tank tops. Post partum sweats are no joke.
Nipple cream stashed everywhere if you're breastfeeding.
I also wasn't prepared for the huge clots that you pass post partum. Like golf ball sized. Craziness.
The weirdest part of being a new mom for me was the rude awakening that my time was no longer mine. I am now responsible for keeping a human alive 24/7. When people tell you to take bubble baths, go to the movies, get pedicures while you can...do it. Seriously. Everything changes once that baby comes out. It's amazing and wonderful and awesome, but it changes and it's weird to get used to.
That's all I can think of right now.
For real on the "I will never..." ahahah. There was so many things I thought I wouldn't do but literally sleep>everything was my motto
Together Since 04/21/2009; Married Since 05/29/2013
Baby Boy born 11/30/16
Baby #2 Due December 4
My best advice would be that there will be times when u feel like an awesome mom and there will be times when you feel like a complete eff up of a mom. And Thats okay becauae we all learn as we go. And if we screw up here and there chances are pur babies are still gonna be ok. I mean our parents screwed up and we turned out ok.
Also, I completely forgot about those clots. Eeeeew. Yup. I was pretty sure I was dying for several days after I gave birth.
And I love the 30-second thing. I'm planning on going med-free again so that's definitely something I'll keep in mind.
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
1. C-sections are not the end of the world. Seriously. My baby was breech and I was so upset I had to have a c-section. However, the surgery was so fast and I got to hold my baby so soon after. And every second I wasn’t with her, my husband was. It was wonderful bonding time for them.
2. Contrary to my number 1, c-sections suck! It hurts, guys. Take the meds.
3. For the love of all that is holy, get a stool softener after your c-section. Holy wow. That first poop.
4. Get up and move when they tell you to. It really does help.
5. Seriously take it easy for a few weeks. Cleaning can wait. Accept help.
6. If you want to have the option to use a pacifier, you may need to bring them to the hospital. My hospital stopped carrying them because they are pushing breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding!
7. If you plan to breastfeed, set up a little station for yourself with water, nipple cream, hand sanitizer, those nipple covers, anything you might need. It’s so much easier than getting up all the time.
8. Drink so much water. I was so freaking thirsty every time she got anywhere near my boobs.
9. It’s gonna hurt like hell in the beginning. It’s better to know this now. Your nipples will bleed. Once that happens it will hurt like a mother when they latch. This will get better with time and they will heal.
10. All of the nipple cream.
11. If you’re having a hard time but really don’t want to stop breastfeeding, you can supplement. I was able to breastfeed for over 7 months doing that, when otherwise I know I would’ve given up way before then.
12. Give the baby a bottle pretty early on and every once in a while. Otherwise, they will not take one and that will seriously suck.
13. You can breastfeed and also use a pacifier.
Baby!
14. Sleep deprivation is real. Accept help (again). Let your partner help you as much as possible if you’re breastfeeding.
15. When you feel up to it, get out of the house. You need it. Then do it again without the baby.
16. You don’t have to love every second. The beginning is hard. It’s ok to dislike parts of it.
17. Your baby’s face will make it better.
- Every pregnancy is different. Just because someone has these or those symptoms and you don't, doesn't mean there is something wrong.
- Pregnancy rage is real.
- I second going to the chiropractor, if your OB signs off on it.
- I also second not using pregnancy as an excuse to eat whatever you want. And this is coming from someone who loves food and hates working out.
- I'm pro snoogle and belly band, but I know not everyone is.
- Advocate for yourself. If you have questions or concerns, don't be afraid to ask your OB. If you have really serious questions or concerns, don't be afraid to call their on call number. It's what it's there for.
- A lot of hospitals offer free tours and classes. Take them, and if your partner can go, have him go with you. A lot of it may be common sense, but a lot is great knowledge. The breast feeding class in particular, I was thankful my husband went to. There is so much information and there was a lot that I didn't remember when I needed it, that he did. Team work! Also, a lot of Baby Friendly hospitals offer classes for free even if you're not delivering there. Check around! We went to a "baby shower/hospital tour" even though we knew our hospital. We got a TON of free stuff and free lunch.
- If your financed and job allow it, take a little time off before you give birth. I planned to work until the day of so that I could use all of my time off afterwards, but ended up taking off the week before because I was so unproductive and wanted some "me" time and nesting time.
Labor and Delivery- If you want to have a birth plan, great, but be flexible. Childbirth doesn't always go exactly as planned. Be gentle with yourself and allow some wiggle room on some of your choices.
- Get an epidural... or don't, but don't feel any which way about it. A medicated birth is just as natural as a med free birth. Either way, childbirth is hard and you're body is doing something amazing. You should be proud of that.
- Like others have said, expect it to take a while. The first time I was induced it took 2 days. The second time it took a day. Both pregnancies though I only pushed about 4 times.
- This is YOUR experience. Have who you want in the room and don't worry about hurt feelings. My first pregnancy my mom and husband were in the room. My second my husband and I decided we wanted it to just be us.
- Don't be afraid to poop, it happens. Total TMI alert... I was terrified of it and was relieved when I thought I hadn't. Then when I was getting all cleaned up afterwards, my doctor noted she could tell I was constipated and kind of massaged it out of me. She said jokingly "See? I poop FOR you!" So it's really no big deal.
Post partum- Not to scare anyone, but just be prepared... for me, recovery was the worst/most painful part of the whole process.
- Going to the bathroom, pee or poop, may be terrifying. Stool softeners are your friend, spicy foods maybe not. My advice is just soften it up and let it come out when it's ready. Don't force it.
- One word: Dermaplast.
- I was terrified to shower even and there was so much blood. Just be gentle. Baths were amazing, and I totally recommend Earth Baby Angel Mama postpartum bath herbs.
- Breast feeding may come easy, or it might not, or it might not be for you. That's ok. Fed is best, whether that is from the boob or formula.
- Same as with OB's, if you don't like your pediatrician, shop around. Ours told us that we were giving him too much milk and to give him water. At a few weeks old. My mom gut told me that this was NOT a right fit for us and we ditched him.
- If it's in your budget, get newborn pictures. We weren't going to and made a last minute decision to get them. I'm SO glad we did.
- If people offer, TAKE THE HELP.
- If you're feeling a little more than the baby blues, don't be ashamed to talk to your doctor.
- Sleep when the baby sleeps.
- We LOVE the snot sucker. My husband was TOTALLY opposed to it, but our first baby cold put an end to that.
- One thing I had NO IDEA was a thing were the post partum chills. They were no joke and absolutely terrified my husband. I would go from fine to full on convulsions in 0-60. He'd have me piled under blankets and comforters and a heating blankets, nothing helped. They were so bad I couldn't do anything, even hold our son. They tapered off after about 3 weeks.
I KNOW I'm missing stuff, but we've got time to addBFP #1: 7/15/15, SB: 11/14/15
Rainbow baby DS born 9/29/16!!
BFP #3 3/26/18 | Due 12/3/18
BFP #1: 7/15/15, SB: 11/14/15
Rainbow baby DS born 9/29/16!!
BFP #3 3/26/18 | Due 12/3/18
BFP #1: 7/15/15, SB: 11/14/15
Rainbow baby DS born 9/29/16!!
BFP #3 3/26/18 | Due 12/3/18
BFP #1: 7/15/15, SB: 11/14/15
Rainbow baby DS born 9/29/16!!
BFP #3 3/26/18 | Due 12/3/18
Some of my favorite advice is,
-Your provider works for you, not the other way around. You don’t “have” to do anything.
-Doulas are incredible assets. When I work with them (I am a birth photographer) they help the process so much.
-You can breast feed, it’s mostly about support and education.
-Babies are generally supposed to cook past your “guess date.”
-Inductions are often not neccasry and often are a cascade for unplanned interventions.
-I’m a huge supporter of bedsharing, baby wearing and cloth diapering.
::zips up flame suit, I know my advice is controversal::
DD2 | June 2011
DS1 | Oct 2013
ADD3 | Oct 2014 (April 2001)
DS2 | June 2016
DS3 | Dec 2018
Due with baby blob August 2021
I just wanted to add a couple things...
if you breastfeed, your boobs may never be the same. I BF for 8 months (stopped this past November) and my nips still are permanently hard. All the time. I can never not wear a bra now. And it wasn’t like this before.
Also, post-partum hair loss. I think this started around 3 months PP? You will feel as if you are going to go bald, so much hair comes out.
Type 1 Diabetic
DS: Born 2/18/17
TTC #2: Jan. 2018 BFP: 3/27/18 EDD: 12/6/18