February TWW

cassafrass15 · February 2018

@offtoneverland I think you’re right and we’re cycle buddies! I did trigger last cycle, although I only had one large follicle that round. Hopefully having more than one helps the odds. And if it makes you feel any better, even though it’s just anecdotal, I have low AMH too and I’ve responded really well to ovulation/follicle stimulation medications.

@rowedking6 Blah - sorry about AF showing up.

@ccvslp 9dpo is still pretty early. I understand you not wanting to test, though. Holding out hope for you!

kikimi83 · February 2018

Thanks @grebretso. I think we're in the same boat. At CD5 now so I'm telling myself this next week can be fun and full of BD, usually O arrive CD12. I'm closer than I was before to that BFP.... I am just so friggin impatient!!

ccvslp · February 2018

Ugh you GUYS. I spent an hour on the phone with insurance today (in ADDITION to the hour I spent last Friday) trying to figure out if I needed an out of network referral to my RE or not. I already saw her but am moving locations to a different state (neither are the one I live in.) After so much confusion that I was ready to strangle someone it turns out my first visit that was covered in full at 500 bucks was an error most likely and all costs moving forward will apply to my crappy out of network coverage with balance billing. I assumed this in the first place when I chose this doctor but then it was like they dangled the carrot and took it away. I had a major guilt trip that even though anything billed as fertility won’t be covered anywhere, I could be saving us major money on anything that is with an in network doc. The thing is... any RE is an hour away for me and this one had such glowing recommendations compared to my other option. DH is on board to stay the course and figure it all out as it comes, but I just get down and doubt myself no matter what I do. I know if I went with the other in network option we’d save money but then I’d worry about the doc and all of the mixed reviews I had gotten.

I guess I just need to not think too far ahead and take each step as it comes: follow up 2/28 during first Letrozole cycle and lining ultrasound. Trying to have faith and hope that we may not need too much intervention to get our rainbow.

cassafrass15 · February 2018

@ccvslp Insurance in the US is the most obnoxious system ever. I typically have great coverage as a federal employee, but anything coded as “fertility” isn’t covered at all. So the IVF that is looming in my near future is going to be totally OOP. I feel ya, and I’m sorry you’re frustrated. I would say if you can afford it, the better doctor is always worth the money. I’ve been to a couple and completely wasted an entire year with the first RE.

ccvslp · February 2018

@cassafrass15 that sure is my hope and was my thinking.... top rated doc with stellar reputation that may cost more vs mixed reviews... I went with the doc over savings. Anything coded fertility won’t be covered anyway, but some diagnostics and ultrasounds, etc. may end up costing us. If it gets us there more efficiently, though, then I’ll stick with her as long as I can.

Mack2342 · February 2018

I’m somewhere between 12 and 14 DPO. Still have increased temps took a test yesterday and BFN. Not too hopeful. I will probably POAS later today. I bought a bunch of wondfos so I have been a little crazy with POAS the last few days lol

Mack2342 · February 2018

@ccvslp I hate insurance. It’s so unfair that they won’t cover fertility treatments

vlagrl29 · February 2018

omg you guys I was feeling great Fri-Sun and both today and yesterday woke up early with nausea. No I'm not pregnant. I've already O'd and have taken multiple pg tests just to double check. Honestly can't wait until this clomid is outta my system. Last week my pharmacist said 15-24 days 100% will be gone. It is definitely 50% gone. I can really say I'm looking forward to AF starting towards the end of next week.

ccvslp · February 2018

I am SO FRUSTRATED. And sad. And frustrated.

REs office called; the rest of my labs came in. Despite having chicken pox heavily as a five year old, I don't have immunity against it. I need to wait for my period this weekend to be sure I'm not pregnant and then get the vaccine. I then have to wait 30 days before we can try again. That means we're back on the gosh darn bench as quickly as we came off it. I can't even believe it. We need to start letrozole and START to figure out the situation with my lining on the meds and we can't even do that until April now. I can't even believe it. Unreal.

Every time I start to feel good and hopeful there just has to be something, doesn't there?

tosh24 · February 2018

@ccvslp Is your RE making it mandatory that you get the vaccine before TTC again? I'm not immune to Rubella despite having the vaccine 3 times now since I was a kid (twice as a kid and once as an adult) but I told my RE that I'm not having it redone as you have to TTA for 3 months post vaccine. I just don't hold immunity to Rubella no matter what, so why am I going to bench myself for 3 months just to have a vaccine that is not going to work (or only give me about a year of immunity)? They keep asking me about it and I keep telling them no and we just proceed with treatments. If you would feel more comfortable with getting the vaccine before getting pregnant, then by all means, get it. But you should be able to do your own risk assessment and make the choice for yourself.

vlagrl29 · February 2018

@ccvslp I'm so sorry

how frustrating I'm sure (hugs)

ccvslp · February 2018

Thanks, @vlagrl29.

@tosh24 I have considered all of that and I’m going to get it. At least once. I know I would worry too much if I didn’t... and I work in an elementary school. With 5-8 year olds. In speech... spir and germs everywhere. I feel like I should get it just to know I did what I could.

My insurance also denied cystic fibrosis and spinal muscular atrophy carrier screening RE wanted. I’m so glad I pay that flipping premium every month.

dpjennifer · February 2018

ccvslp Ugh. Sorry. At least you'll only be benched a month. That's frustrating, but not too long of a time. And urgh, stupid insurance!!!

ccvslp · February 2018

@dpjennifer Seriously! Don't even get me started. It's so foolish to me how most states and insurances consider fertility not covered due to it being "elective." Aren't a lot of things "elective?" If I had.... I don't know.... psoriasis and needed medication to have clear skin, they'd cover it. Isn't that "elective?" Even if there was just SOME amount they'd cover with a cap. And I just don't get not covering the CF and SMA screenings.... would you rather pay the medical costs for those conditions or a blood test to check for it!?

lin0442 · February 2018

@ccvslp and @dpjennifer Not only that, for our jobs they want us to go to school longer, become financially stable- basically ‘be responsible’ about having a baby. Then some employers’ insurances won’t cover fertility treatments that may be linked to the time sacrifices that were made to get the job in the first place. Arguing with insurance is the worst- after my loss I had to negotiate a couple thousand dollar bill for fetal genetic testing and it was absolutely miserable. It didn’t even feel like a victory when I successfully appealed it, I never wanted to have to argue over *that* to begin with.

@vlagrl29 I hope things clear up for you soon and you get back to normal asap! Sorry you had such a lousy experience.

ccvslp · February 2018

@lin0442 That sounds awful. Good for you, though, for putting up a fight and winning. They literally statistically figure on a certain percentage of people just giving up and letting them deny.

I’m going to attempt a peer to peer call where my doctor tries to plead our case for the screenings. We’ll see where it goes.

dpjennifer · February 2018

lin0442 ALL THE YES! And on top of that... if you DO go the 'correct' route and wait til you're financially stable to have a baby and have issues and are abandoned... your wages are still being garnished to pay for those irresponsible counterparts you went to HS with who popped out babies with who knows how many men, living in their parents basements, without working. Infuriating!!!!

ccvslp · February 2018

@dpjennifer YESSSS. I say that to DH all the TIME. Why do deductions from my paycheck every week support children others can’t afford and the insurance I pay into every paycheck can’t help me have one?!?! Too bad we can’t band together and whip the world into shape. I actually am writing to my state senators, though... it’ll be therapeutic to me at the least! Lol

lin0442 · February 2018

@ccvslp I hope your call goes well and you get it covered!
@dpjennifer Yes! Let your state senator and rep know that it’s something you care about! I’m lucky to live in a state that mandates some amount of IF coverage on employer plans, and I hope that everyone in this country can get there too. On the scale of insurance/medical costs, it’s not very expensive but it makes a world of difference for people.

The situation that bothers me the most are women who keep using drugs/drinking during their pregnancy. It’s one thing if someone is dealing with poverty but is trying to do right, but the active disregard is very hurtful. Addiction is a horrible thing, and it’s so unfair all around. (Ok I gotta stop bumming myself out now....)

dpjennifer · February 2018

lin0442 The worst part for me is that I work in MD, which mandates IVF coverage... but because I'm a FED, we're 'special' and our insurance doesn't cover IVF. It's total crap.
I'm SOOO mad because I live in PA, and with the opiod epidemic right now they're talking about the issues with over-crowded foster homes and needing more people to help them. Babies being weened off of drugs in temporary homes. Meanwhile, they WANT these women to be 'over addiction' and then shove the kids back with them! I think it's horrid. To have to take care of a screaming, drug-addicted baby, and then give it back to the irresponsible parent when MANY of them use again anyway. I had to stop reading about this because it just Pissed me off sooo much!

Mack2342 · February 2018

I totally agree with you ladies across the board. I deal with people like you have described and had to have a lady removed from caseload. She had had her 3 children removed from her custody and then shows up to my office telling me she was 5 months pregnant this occurred about a month after my 2nd loss and I told my boss I couldn’t supervise her because I was going to say or do something inappropriate

vlagrl29 · February 2018

speaking of drug addicted babies I've often thought about being one of those baby cuddlers that you hear about on the news. They cuddle the babies that are withdrawing from drugs from their mom doing it during pregnancy.

Mack2342 · February 2018

Well I think I’m out. I took a FRER this morning and BFN at 14 DPO. I just ordered next round of meds. I will stop taking progesterone today so AF should be here in a day or so

vlagrl29 · February 2018

@mack2342 - sorry for BFN. You going to do another IUI cycle?

dpjennifer · February 2018

Mack2342 Ugh. I could NOT do your job and deal with those people... and definitely not since my RPL!

vlagrl29 I could NOT cuddle drug-addicted babies knowing there was an exceptionally high percentage that that child would be released back to their worthless parent! I was originally looking into this because I'd heard that with the opioid crisis that there may be more babies in need of adoption. Now, if I could cuddle babies knowing they'd be going to BETTER homes, and one to MY home, I'd be all in.

Mack2342 · February 2018

@vlagrl29 yup I just ordered my meds for next IUI cycle

@dpjennifer luckily my bosses are understanding and moved that woman from my caseload. I mostly have men and I can cope with them better.

ccvslp · February 2018

I can’t even believe I have another hurdle to even getting started again. But here we go.

Still BFNs so just waiting for AF. My PCP ordered my varicella vaccine today and informed me it’s TWO shots FOUR weeks apart... and then that 30 day wait. I had a meltdown. They’re going to recheck me for immunity a month after the first booster but apparently adults usually need two. I think they’re just trying to appease me because I’m so upset. This means it’ll be late April now before we’re even starting to try again. I’m going to practically hit my original due date before being allowed to try again after my September MC. With the PCOS diagnosis and polyp that wasn’t even a polyp and now this... how does it take someone eight months to be able to try after a miscarriage (I mean we did this month, but still!)?! And to think I thought waiting for that first AF was hard. Hahahahaha.

I’m feeling so defeated. We’ve been slammed down over and over with the situation with our house and still aren’t home and this whole process has been awful, too. I just want SOMETHING to not have to be so hard.

I will still hang out and check in to support you ladies while I wait for the next two months, but man... this just sucks.

(Edit: my RE is requiring immunity against varicella to start treatments. And I want it also, especially working with little (gross) kids every day. I know I’d worry too much if I didn’t even if the likelihood is low of getting anything.)

vlagrl29 · February 2018

@ccvslp - geesh! sorry about another delay - I'm sure its frustrating

I started lightly spotting today - a full week prior to AF coming. I'm guessing the clomid I took messed up my cycle. But yea for knowing AF is near and then my cycles will return to their normal status.

cassafrass15 · February 2018

Hello ladies. Sorry I've been MIA - I've been traveling a lot for work and it's really drained me. But now I have a 4-day weekend so yay!

@offtoneverland How are you doing? I'm 10dpo and about ready to lose my mind! And yes, we did a trigger last cycle as well but I don't feel like we timed things very well (even though we were monitored).

@lin0442 and @dpjennifer You are spot on with what you said about society expecting us to succeed, first, before having children and then denying us later. We've been together for 15 years (since HS) but waited to get married until I finished law school. Sometimes I wish we wouldn't have been so responsible all those years.

@Mack2342 Sorry about the BFN. Those suck.

@ccvslp I am so sorry you've been having such a hard time! I hope that this one injection works and you don't need to go back for the booster.

AFM, today is 10dpo and 11 days post-trigger. I tested out my trigger but am trying desperately to refrain from POAS until Sunday. We'll see...and really, who am I kidding?

Mack2342 · February 2018

Well I’m out. Stopped progesterone last night and AF is here today.

etnyah · February 2018

@Mack2342 Sorry about AF.

FX next cycle works out!

Ugh my body is being so weird. I was waiting for AF, and then all of the sudden I get a bout of acne and ewcm. This is the third time since my CP, I’m now CD34. BD yesterday for good measure but I have no idea what’s going on. Is it possible for your body to prepare for O and then never actually release an egg? Not even getting my hopes up this time, I just want AF to come and for everything to be normal again.

Mack2342 · February 2018

@grebretso waiting on AF sucks when you want it to come. You can actually hear up to O then some stressor pops in and you don’t O then and maybe O later or not at all. Usually if stress related if just happens later when stress eases up. At least that’s what I have read

etnyah · February 2018

@Mack2342 That makes sense. Work has been stressful lately, which could be the culprit.

Isn’t it just lovely though? My hormonal acne flares up around O and not AF, so if I don’t O it’s just a bunch of spots on my face and no chance of a baby. Gotta love those hormones!

vlagrl29 · February 2018

what the heck ladies! I started lightly spotting yesterday and today it's a lot heavier so I'm suspecting AF to start a week early. WTF? reason 20 why I hate clomid. I don't regret stopping it and deciding to not take fertility meds again. my cycles were perfect.

Mack2342 · February 2018

@grebretso maybe with the weekend you will be more relaxed and O happens.

@vlagrl29 sorry you are having such side effects

ccvslp · February 2018

Thanks, @cassafrass15. It’s so frustrating to know we need some trial and error with a specialist to make things work the way they should and then be delayed in even starting after all the work to get here. And then find out it isn’t one month but likely two. I have my fingers crossed for you this cycle!

@grebretso It’s very possible. My body does that almost every cycle before actual O with my PCOS.

@vlagrl29 I hope you feel better soon, I can’t believe it’s still throwing you for a loop like this!

OB appt this morning to check a hemorrhagic cyst and it has resolved itself which is good. Lining is 4mm at the end of my cycle when it should be 8-10 which is not good. Looks like after the last measurement somewhere around 4 is what my body is doing. I feel like RE will see the same later this spring on Letrozole and some estrogen is in my future. I’ve heard those not even work for people, though, so I’m nervous.

I’m going to quit acupuncture I think... it hasn’t seemed to do much for me and is a weekly appointment that’s costing me 20 bucks a pop, which isn’t much, but I feel like I could use less balls in the air. I’m also quitting temping. I’m going to concentrate on keeping up with my diet and supplement changes, adding yoga back into my life, and moving into my own house next month (isn’t that stupid, lol at my life!

vlagrl29 · February 2018

AF started this afternoon a full week early. The doc wants to check my prog to make sure I ovulated but at this point wouldn't the prog be low? I'll get that done tomorrow. Well fresh cycle and hopefully things will normalize.

cassafrass15 · February 2018

@ccvslp I understand your frustration. I was benched for a couple of months waiting for testing and a laproscopy. It sucked! Hang in there.

@vlagrl29 Sorry to hear AF arrived early, but at least now you can start with a new cycle sans the clomid and it’s nasty side effects!

AFM, had some pink-tinged CM this afternoon (10dpo) so I know AF is on her way. I guess we’ll have to move on to IVF after all. I’m sure everyone who gets to this point feels this way, but I really never thought it would come to this. 3 years TTC #1, now OOP IVF and no guarantee. I know I’m not special, just having a hard time coming to terms with it I guess. Ugh.

Edit: I can’t spell.

offtoneverland · February 2018

@ccvslp Oh man! I can't believe you have to be benched so long just for a vaccine. I'm so so sorry! That's so disappointing.
@Mack2342 I'm so sorry about AF.

@vlagrl29 Ugh! AF started a whole week early? That's terrible. I sure hope the clomid gets out of your system soon.
@cassafrass15 I'm so sorry that you're now having to look IVF in the face. Please take time to feel all the feels and emotions right now. It's not wrong of you to feel sad about this or to have trouble coming to terms with it. I'll be thinking of you.

AFM - *TW-hpt results in spoiler*

I feel really bad posting this here since so many people moved over to WTO today. I sincerely hope this isn't insensitive. Please let me know if it is and I can remove it. I got a BFP last night on a Wondfo at 8dpo. I thought for sure it was a faulty test, but took a FRER this morning which was also positive. I'm feeling pretty scared and nervous, but just trying to take it one day at a time and trust that things will work out the way they're supposed to. I'm getting my hcg and progesterone checked on Monday.

vlagrl29 · February 2018

@cassafrass15 I'm sorry for the Ivf. I can't imagine trying to wrap my head around that.

@offtoneverland congrats!! Fx everything turns out good on Monday!

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