February TWW

coco2787

January is finally over.  Here’s to hoping we get some grads this month!  

coco2787

I wish I was starting this because I had good news, but BFN on FRER this morning.  I’m 9 DPO and I know it could theoretically still be too early but given my history I know that’s not the case.  Going to hang out here until AF shows.  

Mack2342

@coco2787 that is still early.  It’s not over until AF shows.  FX it doesn’t show 

vlagrl29

Sorry @coco2787 - I didn't even realize today was Feb ha!

pumpkinpancake

@coco2787 sorry about your bfn! I don’t know your whole history, but for me I’ve never been able to get a BFP before 13dpo (with a BFN at 9dpo) so don’t count yourself out until AF shows up! 

Of course I’m over here at 7dpo analyzing every little twitch and twinge, even though I know better than that! I have 8 cheap hpts, which is not helping my urge to POAS. I know it would be a waste since I have never really turned a test early, and yet I still want to. Ugh, what is wrong with me??

rowedking6

Hope it's alright I join, had a bfn today at what I only guessed to be 9dpo but here's my scoop...at CD 16 I had ewcm + left side cramping. BD days 13,14 and 16 but I was sick! Then had another bout of ewcm on CD 19 so we BD again that night. I was thinking ovulation was delayed due to illness so now I'm all messed up :S I don't even know when to test again. ...or just wait for AF I guess

coco2787

@pumpkinpancake I guess by history I just mean I’ve gotten my BFPs at 9 DPO in the past.  I know bodies are often different after loss so I’ll keep testing, but I’m not going to let myself be too optimistic.  

pumpkinpancake

@coco2787 things could change, you could implant late this time and not get a BFP as early. But I’m with you on trying not to get too optimistic. I go through cycles of feeling like “oh this is definitely going to be my month” to being like “get a grip, probability says it will not be my
month...” over and over again. 

Random question for the group, do you guys usually eliminate caffeine during the TWW or only if a BFP? 

Kath525

@pumpkinpancake usually only for a bfp. But I eliminated it this entire cycle just because i needed to feel like i was doing something different. I also said i was going to eliminate alcohol this whole cycle. That lasted like 6 hours. Ha!

acciocoffee

@pumpkinpancake I am just on decaf all the time now. I don't really know that it makes a difference, but like @Kath525 said it just makes me feel like I'm doing something. 

coco2787

@pumpkinpancake I usually only drink one cup of coffee in the morning and I've never eliminated that during the TWW.  I can't stomach coffee during first tri so that's usually the only reason I give it up after a BFP.  All the research I've done seems to show that you need to be consuming more than one cup for it to affect implantation/pregnancy.

etnyah

@pumpkinpancake I don’t think I’ll be able to eliminate caffeine completely ever! I’ve reduced my intake to one cup a day (sometimes two), which is pretty huge for me. Alcohol is easy to quit, but coffee? I need my fix!

Mack2342

@pumpkinpancake I’ve never given it up completely.  I have one caffeinated beverage a day and will have that when I get a BFP.  I used this when I was pregnant with DS and OB said it fine 

Mack2342

FF shows that I ovulated on Tuesday.  I think I ovulated on Wednesday.  I took trigger shot on Tuesday so I shouldn’t have ovulated until Thursday.  Had IUI yesterday and RE always tells us to BD later that day but DH said he was too tired and his sugar was low(type 1 diabetic).  It annoyed me!  Not feeling too positive about this.  We did BD Tuesday but still I don’t know.  I did have a temp shift Wednesday.  So confusing 

Kath525

This TWW is going by sooooooooo slow. 11 DPO. Not looking good since my temps are down to the coverline the last 2 days. Next cycle we're self benching because we're going on a big family vacation in November that's basically paid for....the same week that the due date would be if i got KUd next month. DH is surprisingly not happy about talking the month off but after more than a year of ttc I deserve the dang vacation. So there. Ha. But I think knowing next cycle is a no go makes this one feel extra long. There's my rant for this morning.

pumpkinpancake

@Mack2342 sorry things are confusing for you with your O date. I’ve got my FX for you. 

@Kath525 this TWW is definitely going by sooo slow, and I’m only 8 dpo! I’m proud of myself for resisting the urge to POAS this morning, since I know it would have been a waste. I’m trying to hold out until Sunday, even though that would likely be too early for me too. That’s hard to decide to take a month off for a trip like that, but glad you’re allowing yourself to live your life and have the trip. 

ccvslp

Sorry about your BFN @coco2787.  I agree, though, you aren't out yet!
FK for you, @Mack2342!

I'm just going to pop in here if that's okay because I've been thinking I was already every darn day ... thinking I was "about to ovulate" since Tuesday. I got a positive OPK this morning for sure, though, so I'm just going to land here as I generally O later that same day or early the next.  I'm learning this is part of the fun for me with the irregularity of PCOS.  And poor DH is coming down with a cold and I'm probably going to want to BD one more time tonight... or maybe I'll just let the poor guy rest.

My post loss brain is incredible since officially deciding to just pull the trigger and get off the bench.  I didn't realize you could experience so many emotions at the same exact time!  Geez.

pumpkinpancake

@ccvslp come on over and join us! 

I’m actually feeling pretty good about this month now that I’m in the TWW. When I was wto and it was so delayed, I was getting a bit upset because it felt like things were not getting back to normal, but now I’m 8 dpo, which is giving me lots of hope! Not necessarily that I’m pregnant even, but just that even if I’m not, at least my cycle seems to finally getting a little more normal! My cycles after loss have all had really short LP of like 6-7 days, so the fact that I’m at 8 days now with no signs yet of AF isn’t making me feel a little comfort. 

Kath525

Thanks @pumpkinpancake. I was really surprised by DHs reaction to taking a month off since he's been soo cavalier about whether we get pregnant or not. But i think he wants this more than he lets on. He asked me this morning when i was going to POAS (not till Monday). Glad your LP seems to be lengthening!
@ccvslp ttcal isn't easy. FX this is your cycle!

40momma

Spoke to DH about how he feels going forward and he really wants to ttc again, he said he's just scared of hurting me again. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own emotions that we tend to forget how our SO can be going through some crazy emotions as well. This roller coaster sucks. I figured I was past my FW for this month but then today woke up with loads of ewcm.... 

vlagrl29

@40momma - glad you talked to your DH about it.  After the last few days myself Dh and I have talked and he just wants me to be happy no matter what path we take.  I think well at least with my DH anyways he leaves the decisions on TTC up to me but he hates seeing me sad and agitated.

Mack2342

@40momma glad you talked to DH and maybe FW not over!

rowedking6

I was so dumb to think I could buy 3 dollar store tests and not want to splurge on a frer to test early lol
Happy Friday everyone... ((hugs)) to all who are in the Wait! 

ccvslp

@vlagrl29... My DH is the same way!  He wanted to wait when i wanted to wait... wants to try again now that I do.  I always check in with him and make sure it's what he really wants, too, but his response is always that he wants me to be happy.  We lost our first pregnancy, though, so we are both definitely on board to keep trying, it's just that my thoughts tend to change like the wind blows when it gets to be around O time some months.

coco2787

Dug this morning's test out of the trash, as one does, and there's what I'm 99% sure is an evap line that I now can't stop obsessing over.  Sigh.  Not going to take another test until tomorrow morning so I can be sure one way or the other.  

pumpkinpancake

Ugh @coco2787 that’s the worst! I try to bury my tests under garbage and crumple them up (the cheap ones at least) for that very reason so I can’t do that! 

Kath525

@coco2787 FX that you are giving us some amazing news tomorrow!

kikimi83

@coco2787 literally lol. I keep them in a neat little row on the shelf and compare them each day. Worst. 

coco2787

Ha @kikimi83 I suppose I should also confess that I pulled yesterday’s test out too to compare the two (no 2nd line on yesterday’s test).  When I was waiting for my HCG levels to go back to zero I taped the strips to a piece of paper and dated them 

40momma

sometimes I can't help but laugh at how freaking nuts we all are... so glad I'm not alone on this BSC train 

coco2787

lol same @40momma.  Ever since @galactickates posted this gif I've been saying it to myself at least once a day 

vlagrl29

Yes we are nuts! The little bit of blood that was on our bed this morning I thought was from me. Pulled down my underwear to look! Nope it was from the dog.

kikimi83

All the crazy. Date the hcg's. Compare to opk's. And then hide everything from DH so he doesn't see the crazy. It's exhausting, really. 

ccvslp

I had a kitchen drawer full of pregnancy tests at one point.  We’re insane but we have good company. 

rowedking6

This morning I read an article on diy tests. ...dang it, I'm out of bleach! 
Maybe we're crazy. ...or maybe just persistent, strong willed, creative. ....ok yea you're right, certifiably insane! 

kikimi83

Re-evaluating my chart, think I might be here now! Temperature has definitely shifted. It's so hard to interpret since my MC but I might actually be about 5dpo..... Maybe? Hopefully? Anyone else as confused as me? Only problem is we didn't BD for a few days because I was exhausted from work! Hoping for swimmers with long lives!

kikimi83

Decided to override my O date on my chart.... I just like how it looks more.  fx!

ccvslp

@kikimi83 We kind of half-a** tried last October after my D&C at the end of September.... same thing.  There was no figuring that month out, my chart was a darn mountain range and the last little bit of Hcg
dropped sooooo slooooooowly and didn’t make OPKs very reliable or trustworthy.  That first AF was honestly exciting because then I at least had SOME clue where I was at after! 

Mack2342

You ladies have me a chuckle with all the insane comments. 

kikimi83

@ccvslp I'm trying to reassure myself with that thought in case AF does show up. As much as I hate the TWW the guessing game might be even worse. Day to day it's a big mess but looking at it retrospectively I can see some trends. My hCG was last at 45. But I'm not going to test it again. I read some pretty compelling research about how hCG actually triggers progesterone and that seems to be the difference in whether you ovulate or not. The big jump they observed was between 140 and 60, i.e. they observed ovulation with levels of 60. So I figure I'm under that now so anything's possible!

coco2787

So, an update.  I'm 11 DPO, got an extremely faint 2nd line this morning on FRER (barely darker than what I thought was an evap line yesterday), but within the test window time, and a shadow of a line on an HCG strip.  With my loss there was a much bigger difference between the lines on day 1 of BFP and day 2 so I don't have a good feeling about this.  Pretty scared that this is going to end up being a CP, so I'm hoping for the best but preparing for the worst right now.  Not letting myself feel any excitement at this point though.