I think the group should probably be a "closed" group for a few months. Closed groups are still private in that only members can see the posts, however, it is still searchable by the general public and anyone can request to join. This would allow the admins to create a question for join requests (I've also admined a few facebook groups so I'm familiar with the process--eg. What is your SN on TB? Then admins verify SN and activity through TB logs.) so the admins can manage requests to join the group and give everyone the ability to join without having to have emails or friend each other on facebook (as you would need for a "Secret" group).
Then after a certain time period, I think we should lock the group down to "Secret." That's how my current BMB is and it definitely helps people feel safer. Not only can no one else but group members see posts (just like the "closed" group) but no one outside the group can even tell if the group exists or tell if you are a member of the group.
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014! DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
@mcb2016 I personally think a selfie picture to enter the group is a little much... I will do it if that's what the admins want but I guess I'm not THAT concerned about stranger danger. I don't think anyone who has contributed here regularly has been dramatic enough to suspect a catfish but I do know it has been a very real thing on other BMBs!
@ladythrice I didn't even know you could make a FB group secret! I guess that's because they are secret. lol!
Just my two cents: I like secret groups on FB as opposed to "closed". Probably because I don't understand all of FB's privacy settings and it seems like a secret group is harder for a rando to access, but maybe I'm wrong about that? I'm sure someone with more experience could enlighten me on that one.
Our group will be changed to secret once all members are added. It will start as closed, rather than secret, as a secret group requires new members to already be on an admin’s friends list. Hopefully this information helps.
I just wanted to remind everyone that first wave invites are NOT the only people getting in, nor are those invites somehow a judgement. They are just people who have contributed a lot, and are well known. That's it. No need to be offended if you don't make first wave, it has zero bearing on whether you will eventually make it in unless you have been secretly sending asshole PMs to people. If you have, I guess you should brace yourself not to be included, and I'm not really all that sorry.
And as we said, we will almost immediately start voting on letting others in afterwards. In my last group literally hundreds of people were voted in after first wave. So again, don't assume you will never make it, and freak out.
@kaymaroo, so technically, a "secret" group IS harder for a rando to access... but that means it's harder for EVERYONE to access, to include everyone here on this board. As @kmalls explained, you can only be added to secret groups if you're willing to share your personal facebook email address and/or be facebook friends with other group members. So to grow a secret facebook group, you inevitably expose the privacy of the people joining by asking for emails or becoming facebook friends.
A "closed" group is still private, while not a secret. Whatever you say in that group is more private than what you say on TB boards. The only thing not secret about the group is its existence and your membership. Everything else is so it does protect your privacy in that sense. You do not need to 'friend' anyone nor are your posts 'public' to the general facebook audience. They are only visible to group members. Thus your privacy is still protected.
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014! DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Thanks everyone for the explanations! My last BMB was a secret group and we did have to friend one of the admins to get into the group. I didn't mind but I do get how some people would be bothered by that.
As long as no one outside of the group can see posts to it (b/c basically I'd die if my MIL saw some of the things I post) then I'm okay with it.
Also, I just want to say, I recognize nearly all of the people that have posted in this thread. I'm a regular on the board (except on weekends :cough cough:) and don't think there's really a need for the majority of people interacting on this thread to even be concerned about 'making the cut.'
Haha, same here. I think its because I don't use my app on my phone much. I usually access the boards online during the week when I'm actually in front of a computer.
I'm really happy there will be a Facebook group. I joined our local Mom's network facebook page, but it includes the entire city and surrounding suburbs. I like reading and learning from those posts, but feel MUCH more comfortable looking for advice and support from people I've been interacting with since the beginning. At least we have a little bit of familiarity and history with each other.
I just wanted to remind everyone that first wave invites are NOT the only people getting in, nor are those invites somehow a judgement. They are just people who have contributed a lot, and are well known. That's it. No need to be offended if you don't make first wave, it has zero bearing on whether you will eventually make it in unless you have been secretly sending asshole PMs to people. If you have, I guess you should brace yourself not to be included, and I'm not really all that sorry.
And as we said, we will almost immediately start voting on letting others in afterwards. In my last group literally hundreds of people were voted in after first wave. So again, don't assume you will never make it, and freak out.
Well said. My Bump loss group was still letting people in for a while after.
Read this whole thread. I’m just glad there’s a vetting of sorts now. My March ‘12 BMB migrated with little organization or plan. Ended up with the most serious dramz ever (like law enforcement, child abuse accusations..... nasty stuff) and then there were multiple offshoots including a ‘cool kids’ group that only sprouted more drama. There will inevitably be some level of drama with big a group of women but I think being choosy from the start will alleviate a good chunk of that!
Me (33). DH (37). DD (2.2012). MCs x4. After 4 years & 7 months, due 4.2018!
We have sent out a “first wave” of invites to the Facebook group, so please check your private messages.
The people we intended to reach with first wave invites were those posters we considered to be “active regulars.” If you were someone we thought did not definitively meet that standard, we wanted to leave it up to the entire group to discuss and vote on who else to include. If you did not receive a first wave invite, please do not feel that it was a reflection of anyone’s feelings about you personally, because it honestly was not. We all care about our privacy and security, and there is no way to adequately address those concerns without hurting feelings (in other words, we can’t invite everyone).
If you did not receive an invitation and have any questions or concerns about why you did not receive one, please do not ask them here or on any public thread because they will not be answered publicly. Instead, please private message one of the admins. (Although, fair warning: the response will probably be that we were not sure whether the group would consider you to meet the standard of an active regular and wanted to leave it to the group to discuss and decide).
If you did receive an invite, please do not discuss it with others or post about it here for the reasons mentioned previously - there’s no way to do this without hurting feelings, and we should go to whatever lengths we can to avoid doing that any more than is necessary.
ETA: you can check your private messages by clicking on “Inbox” in the top left corner of The Bump app/page.
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
@Mattel my last bmb group had similar issues when we migrated over to FB. And at the end, the entire group ended imploding when our admin (we only had one - bad idea) went off the deep end and decided to delete the group with zero notice. It was a total mess. But yeah, in the beginning, everyone was able to join, and we ended up having so much drama, so many crazies, bullying, etc. I'm hoping this process minimizes issues like that!
Wow I’ve missed a lot not coming on here much the past few days/week!! I love the idea of Facebook as opposed to TB. It’s much easier to use on mobile! Those admins are you to do a fantastic job, good thoughts everyone!!
Mama to Rowan Sebastian and baby boy coming in April!
You can create and admin a Secret/Private group on FB WITHOUT being friends. You just enter the person's email address and it sends them a notification to be in the group. I've admin-ed and been in groups that are run this way. No one was friends (to begin with) and no one else could see the group
This way you don't deal with a bunch of randoms that try and also if people don't want their FB friends to see they're in that group...
I didn't read through all of the comments, but I just wanted to say that I would like to be included if we get a Facebook page. That is such an easier way to converse than the message boards, IMO. Thank you!
yeah i think just active posters. I get it, your real name and stuff is on facebook and people post personal stuff especially post partum. still too bad as i don't post here often because it's not user friendly and would likely be fairly active on facebook.
You can try PM the admins, but if you were not super active you didn't get in.
I suggested in another post, that we should make our on inclusive Facebook page to include those who don't like the bump forum so didn't post as much, or the lurkers who will be more willing to post after the baby comes. Or those like me who could be on as much because of work and family but still participate when I can. I suggested we set it up after our babies come, unless anyone objects.
Got it. And I understand too. There can be a lot of drama in groups full of women! And unfortunately I just haven't been able to be super active. But I will see if I can reach out to someone. Thank you!
I have since joined other Facebook groups once this was brought up. I hadn’t thought of it before. I didn’t even join in here until about half way through because my app would always crash. Then once I got the hang of the forum my posts hardly went through so I kind of gave up. I understand the desire to be private but also feel like this became a bit cliquish. If you want a friendly Facebook group try Babies Due April 2018. I also joined march and April babies but not as active in there. It is so much easier to navigate and to be active and I’ve come across some very sensitive subjects but everyone has remained respectful in their answers and opinions. Also, when it comes to Facebook, you can choose what others see about you. If you don’t want anyone to see anything other than name and profile pic, which is not optional, then you can set it up with ease.
On another note, if anyone was really concerned with getting your information it could easily be done via this app and everything that you have already shared. Not to mention the spreadsheet thread where we all posted our. Ames, ages, and locations. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just a thought.
@dlammers@Luna8433@mmmKayy I have thought about starting a page for those us who got left behind but wasnt sure anyone else wanted to. I was thinking towards March
From what I gathered from the ladies that left it wasn't about Facebook information they didn't want people to know, but the personal things they were planning on sharing like bodily fluids, or more personal things like relationship issues that may come up with having a newborn, that they didn't want to share with someone they didn't "know" or the lurkers.
I have started a new Facebook group to use after our babies are here that is a little easier to navigate. the page name is "April 2018 The Bump group" here is the link https://www.facebook.com/groups/2487984591426592/permalink/2488001458091572/ go ahead a request membership and type in your bump username and I will get you added in. currently the group is closed but can easily change to secret if we want to.
Re: Facebook Migration
I think the group should probably be a "closed" group for a few months. Closed groups are still private in that only members can see the posts, however, it is still searchable by the general public and anyone can request to join. This would allow the admins to create a question for join requests (I've also admined a few facebook groups so I'm familiar with the process--eg. What is your SN on TB? Then admins verify SN and activity through TB logs.) so the admins can manage requests to join the group and give everyone the ability to join without having to have emails or friend each other on facebook (as you would need for a "Secret" group).
Then after a certain time period, I think we should lock the group down to "Secret." That's how my current BMB is and it definitely helps people feel safer. Not only can no one else but group members see posts (just like the "closed" group) but no one outside the group can even tell if the group exists or tell if you are a member of the group.
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
@ladythrice I didn't even know you could make a FB group secret! I guess that's because they are secret. lol!
And as we said, we will almost immediately start voting on letting others in afterwards. In my last group literally hundreds of people were voted in after first wave. So again, don't assume you will never make it, and freak out.
A "closed" group is still private, while not a secret. Whatever you say in that group is more private than what you say on TB boards. The only thing not secret about the group is its existence and your membership. Everything else is so it does protect your privacy in that sense. You do not need to 'friend' anyone nor are your posts 'public' to the general facebook audience. They are only visible to group members. Thus your privacy is still protected.
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
As long as no one outside of the group can see posts to it (b/c basically I'd die if my MIL saw some of the things I post) then I'm okay with it.
I hope I make one of the “waves”
Me (33). DH (37). DD (2.2012). MCs x4. After 4 years & 7 months, due 4.2018!
We have sent out a “first wave” of invites to the Facebook group, so please check your private messages.
The people we intended to reach with first wave invites were those posters we considered to be “active regulars.” If you were someone we thought did not definitively meet that standard, we wanted to leave it up to the entire group to discuss and vote on who else to include. If you did not receive a first wave invite, please do not feel that it was a reflection of anyone’s feelings about you personally, because it honestly was not. We all care about our privacy and security, and there is no way to adequately address those concerns without hurting feelings (in other words, we can’t invite everyone).
If you did not receive an invitation and have any questions or concerns about why you did not receive one, please do not ask them here or on any public thread because they will not be answered publicly. Instead, please private message one of the admins. (Although, fair warning: the response will probably be that we were not sure whether the group would consider you to meet the standard of an active regular and wanted to leave it to the group to discuss and decide).
If you did receive an invite, please do not discuss it with others or post about it here for the reasons mentioned previously - there’s no way to do this without hurting feelings, and we should go to whatever lengths we can to avoid doing that any more than is necessary.
ETA: you can check your private messages by clicking on “Inbox” in the top left corner of The Bump app/page.
Mama to Rowan Sebastian and baby boy coming in April!
You can create and admin a Secret/Private group on FB WITHOUT being friends. You just enter the person's email address and it sends them a notification to be in the group. I've admin-ed and been in groups that are run this way. No one was friends (to begin with) and no one else could see the group
This way you don't deal with a bunch of randoms that try and also if people don't want their FB friends to see they're in that group...
sadness.
still too bad as i don't post here often because it's not user friendly and would likely be fairly active on facebook.
I suggested in another post, that we should make our on inclusive Facebook page to include those who don't like the bump forum so didn't post as much, or the lurkers who will be more willing to post after the baby comes. Or those like me who could be on as much because of work and family but still participate when I can. I suggested we set it up after our babies come, unless anyone objects.
Also, when it comes to Facebook, you can choose what others see about you. If you don’t want anyone to see anything other than name and profile pic, which is not optional, then you can set it up with ease.
Mama to Rowan Sebastian and baby boy coming in April!
Mama to Rowan Sebastian and baby boy coming in April!
go ahead a request membership and type in your bump username and I will get you added in.
currently the group is closed but can easily change to secret if we want to.
here is a link from my web browser if this doesn't work I will try again. you can also search the group name "April 2018 The Bump group"