Sending you a PM about your FFFC. Don't beat yourself up. You are a step ahead of most in that you are acknowledging a challenge vs. ignoring it. I would say that is a pretty awesome thing. If your eating disorder is getting the best of you, but you are still in control. It sounds like you feel a bit defeated, but you should be proud that you are aware and addressing what is happening. That is truly a win.
Keep you head up and if you need to ever vent about this feel free to PM me. It is something I have experience in as well.